Chapter Text
Riverside Central High School’s 7th Annual Battle of the Bands!
Can you music? Good, I heckin’ hope so. Because I want you to sign up for this year’s Battle of the Bands!
The drama! The competition!! The glory!!! The stardom!!!! Imagine, you and your buddies on stage, nothing but a guitar, a piano, drums or something, I don’t know what’s in a band, I just write the poster. Singing your guts out on stage for all the school to hear! (Or, like, a good, albeit small fraction of the school, anyways.)
Bands must perform at least two songs and consist of two or more people, all of whom must be a Sophomore or above. Any bands who do not meet those specifications will not be allowed to enter or perform. Please sign up, registration is in the cafeteria or the music hall for this week and next week only! I know Mr. Scott said not to say that we’re desperate for performers but seriously guys, we’re desperate. Don’t make this a repeat of last year.
Hope to see you on the stage!
“Oh, I signed up for that Battle of the Bands thing today,” Ethan said, reaching over Mark to grab some popcorn.
Mark glanced over, raising an eyebrow. “Did you now?”
Ethan and Mark were sitting on the couch in the older boy’s basement playing Mario Kart. Ethan was winning by a landslide, having chosen to gloat his victory by stealing the bowl of popcorn Mark’s mom had brought down hours ago; now empty, it sat on his head like a make-shift crown. Or, well, it did . Mark had knocked it off in a joking fit of rage during the last race and threw it across the room, dramatically yelling something along the lines of “DON’T GOO ME LIKE THAT, BRO” as Ethan tried his best not to faint from how hard he was laughing.
Picking out their carts for the next round now, they were significantly calmer (though they would still both burst out into random fits of giggles every few seconds) and had scored a new bowl of popcorn from upstairs. Ethan nodded as he reached over to grab some more.
“Yeah! I mean, this is the first year I can do it, and it seems like a lot of fun. Honestly, I don’t know why you haven’t done it yet, you’re a junior and it seems like your type of thing.”
“It’s not.”
Ignoring him, Ethan continued on. “It just seems fun! So why— why are you glaring at me like that? ”
Mark scoffed, snatching the bowl from Ethan and throwing a handful of popcorn at him. “You do realize literally nobody goes to those, right? They are literally infamously bad. I mean, you were there last year, you know —”
“Sure, I ‘know’, but do I really ‘ know’ ?”
“What’s that even mean?”
“ Exactly. ” Ethan raised his eyebrows, tilting his head so he was looking up at Mark with a stupid smirk on his face. “If I actually perform in it, I not only get to cross something off my bucket list—”
“ Why is that on your bucket list—”
“But I also! Also! Shut up.” Ethan put down his controller with a glare and leaned back into the couch to try and appear more confident. It didn’t work. Mark raised his eyebrow. “As I was saying , not only would I be able to do something that I’ve wanted to do for a while, but I'd also, like, actually give them a band. For their band competition. Thing. Because they need one of those to have a show.”
“Yeah, that’s… That’s kinda how those work.” Mark put his controller down too, the game now forgotten. “But don’t you need more than one person to have a band? Isn’t that literally one of the rules?”
“Yeah, of course!”
“Then how can you perform if it’s just you? Sorry, buddy, but I don’t think your dreams will come true this time.”
“Wait, did I not mention that part?”
“... What part?”
“I, uh, signed us both up for the Battle of the Bands.”
“Ethan.”
“What?”
“Ethan, neither of us know how to play an instrument. ”
Ethan scoffed, then scooted up on the couch to the point where he almost fell to the floor, then scoffed louder. “I mean, technically —”
“I play the trumpet. That is the absolute limit of our combined musical talent.”
“And I sing! We both sing! Mediocrely, sure, but it’s still singing.”
“But that still isn’t a band! What were you thinking?!”
Ethan winced exaggeratingly and threw his arms out in a wide shrug. “I don’t know! You tell me!”
Mark stared at his friend for a beat, Ethan keeping his arms up as the silence grew more and more awkward. Mark never moved. Ethan put his arms down in defeat.
“I wasn’t thinking.”
“Yeah I fucking knew it.” While the words were harsh, the older boy’s shake of his head and his tone were joking enough that they drew a snort out of Ethan.
“But imagine! We’ll be stars! The two hottest boys in the school making an even hotter band together, god , Mark, the crowds will be raving! Girls will be swooning! Maybe everyone will be swooning,” Ethan said, dropping his voice and wriggling his eyebrows on the last part. “We’ll finally be popular! Wouldn’t you like that, Markimoo?”
“I—” Mark laughed, attempting to shoot a glare at Ethan’s smug face, but the state of his own just made the younger boy laugh harder. “Get that fucking smirk off your face, first of all, second of all, I’m already popular! Everyone’s already swooning over me and you know it! That’s just you, man.”
“Jeez, you don’t have to rub it in.”
“I’m not, I’m just stating the truth.”
“Well, anyways, now we’ve gotta commit to it. No matter what it takes.” Ethan turned to pick up his controller again, pointedly looking away as he said his next part. “Mainly because I’ve already turned all the paperwork, which included an, um, upfront fee to be able to —”
“Wait a damn second, you paid for this bullshit?” Mark, who had started to reach for his controller as well, immediately dropped it to stare at his friend. “And you hadn’t even told me about this yet?” He barked out a laugh as the other boy just sighed and looked down at his controller. “Wow, Ethan, I knew you were stupid but this is something else entirely.”
“Hey, I’m telling you now!”
“ After you paid. How much was it anyways? $30 or something? I can pay you back if you want. ”
“I— $30? ” Ethan looked up, but the sharp movement caused him to finally fall off the couch onto the floor. He barely seemed to register the fall though, the incredulous look he was giving Mark wiping out the expression of any other emotion he could have been feeling. “How expensive do you think this school is?”
“Shut up, I’m poor, I don’t have a good grasp on monetary values.”
“Mark, you are the literally the richest person in this neighborhood. And it was $6.45.”
“That’s… oddly specific.”
“Well, it would have been $10, but Jack was in charge of the sign-ups and he still owed me from that time I bought him Dairy Queen.”
“Of course.” Shaking his head again, Mark smiled and sighed, then stuck his hand out to help his friend back on to the couch. He picked up his controller again and finally started the race, stifling a laugh as he saw Ethan scramble to get ready out of the corner of his eye. They quickly fell back into the groove they were in before, laughing at the stupid jokes they each made, reverting back to goo jokes, quickly agreeing to not laugh at the goo jokes anymore, then laughing at the goo jokes again even sooner. Mark eventually won the round, loudly cheering for himself as Ethan laughed and slow-clapped in the background. Still laughing, the younger boy picked up the second, now also empty popcorn bowl and placed it on Mark’s head, before running to the corner where the first one had fallen and placing that one on back his own.
“Look!” he said, still laughing his ass off, “We’re matching! We’re the Kings of Mario Kart!”
“The Kings of Goo!”
They both nearly fell over from laughing that time, both of the bowls falling off.
Ethan glanced over to his phone, which was ringing. Why Mark was calling him at this hour was a mystery to him, but he picked it up anyways. Maybe it was something important! Probably not, with Mark, but you never know. “Hey dude, what’s up?”
“Oh wait shit, I didn’t mean to call, sorry.”
“No, it’s fine. We’re here now anyways.” Ethan put his pencil down next to him, putting his phone closer to his ear in an attempt to be more comfortable. “So, again, what’s up?”
“It’s just — about that band thing again…”
“Mhmm? What about it?”
Ethan was sitting on his bed, trying (and failing, quite miserably) to finish his math homework. They had finished playing Mario Kart hours before, and now Ethan was catching up on work instead of catching up on sleep. His eyes would like it to be known that they did not consent to this idea and would have liked to have been closed as soon as the pencil was placed down. Ethan ignored this motion, of course, in favor of listening to Mark as he continued to speak. “Well, first of all, fuck you . We’ve got, what, a month? Maybe more? To learn how to be good at instruments we’ve never played before.”
“Yeah, I’m… aware. You’ve told me this several times already. Please get to your point.”
“Also: the name. The band needs a name. ‘Mark and Ethan’ has no ring to it, and I know for a fact that’s what you put on the papers.”
“Wha- no! It’s not!”
“‘Ethan and Mark’, then.”
“Maybe!”
A laugh filtered through the phone, soft and deep, as if Mark was trying his best not to wake anyone else up in his house. Which would make sense, seeing that it was almost midnight at that point. “So. Name ideas. You’re the one that got us into this mess so I’m hoping you have something , at least.
“Uhh…” Ethan paused, thinking. It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought about a band name; quite the opposite, really. He had racked his brain to figure something out while he was filling out the paperwork, it wasn’t his fault that “Ethan and Mark” was the only thing that actually stuck. Also, Mark wasn’t there when he signed up, so Ethan didn’t have a way to figure out a name that they both liked. But there was one idea that had really stuck with him…
“Maybe something Latin?”
“Maybe somethi—” There was a sigh from the other end of the line; Ethan could almost see the older boy pinching his nose in exasperation.
“What? It’ll be cool! We’ve just gotta figure out the right phrase.”
“Ethan, neither of us take Latin.”
“So? We’ve got Google, that’s good enough.” Ethan was already scrambling over the edge of his bed to reach for his charging laptop, trying his best to keep his phone in his hand. “Just— hold on, I’m looking something up now.” Clicking on the first link that popped up when he typed in “cool latin phrases”, he started to read from the list.
“‘Auribus Teneo Lupum.’ Holding a wolf by the ears.”
“Ok, first of all, way too long, second of all, I am one of the most popular people in this school and I don’t want my reputation tainted by being called a furry.”
“Harsh. But you’re right about the length part, I’d never remember that.” Ethan kept scrolling, brow furrowing as he continued to read the list and their meanings. “All of these are way too long — wait, no, how about this: ‘Brutum Fulmen.’ Literally means ‘senseless thunderbolt.’”
“And figuratively means?”
“... ‘Empty threat.’”
“Not badass enough. Next one.”
“Dude, we’re never gonna get a name if you keep shooting them down.”
“We’ve only been through two! Keep going, I think we’re getting close.”
“Fine, fine!” Ethan clicked away to another website, skimming through the list until he found a couple of names that were reasonable.
“‘Carpe Noctem.’ Seize the night.”
“Too emo.”
“‘Carpe Vinum.’ Seize the wine.”
“You know what? Almost. You’re within the city the baseball game is being held, but not quite on the field yet.”
“Am I shooting for home base?”
There was a pause on Mark’s end of the line, short enough that it might have not meant anything, but long enough that it was noticeable. Then the older boy cleared his throat quietly, continuing on in the same joking tone as before, “As I said, not even on the field yet.”
Ethan paused too, trying to get his mind back on track, blinking his eyes several times as he focused on the website again. “Uhh… how about this: ‘Memento Mori.’ Remember death.”
“Symbolic. I like it. We’re getting closer.”
“And ‘Carpe Noctem’ was ‘too emo?’ What are your standards for what’s emo and what’s not?”
“That’s not— That’s not important right now. Also ‘Memento Mori’ is cooler, you can’t deny that.”
“True, true.” There was another pause as Ethan kept scrolling, then clicked away and found another website, scrolling though that one, too.
“Anything?”
“Patience is a virtue, Mark.”
“Not one that I have.”
“Ok, shut up, I’ve found another: ‘Unus Annus.’ One year.”
“That’s… cryptic. I like it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah! It’s short, sounds cool, plus anybody’s who’s gonna be bothered to look it up will be like ‘oooh what’s that mean? “One year??” oooh spooky.’”
Ethan laughed, covering his mouth quickly as he remembered that people were still sleeping. “Nobody’s gonna say that, Mark.”
“You never know! There are infinite alternate universes out there, so in at least one of them, someone will say exactly that in response to looking up our band’s name.”
Nodding, Ethan closed his laptop and put it back down to where it was charging. “Maybe so.”
“Absolutely so.”
“I guess this means I have to tell Jack we changed our band name?”
“Obviously. Besides, I doubt he’ll mind, you signed up today and I’m pretty sure we’re the only band on the roster right now.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess you’re right.” Ethan looked over at his (still unfinished) math homework, eventually deciding to just shove it back into his backpack and worry about it tomorrow. His eyes might have a point about this “sleep” thing. “Unus Annus, huh? This band is gonna take this school by storm.”
“Of course it will. It’s got me in it.”
“And me!”
“And you, yes. How could we not win?”