Work Text:
“I just need my other textbook, hang on.” Annabeth shuffled through the things on her desk, finding what she needed and moving to grab a jacket.
Percy stretched forward on her bed, elbows on his knees, feet almost reaching the desk. He always felt too big for her shoebox-dorm room; he could only hope the college dorms would be at least one size up.
His gaze landed on her desk, and something caught his eye. Beneath all the shuffled papers, a familiar looking envelope peeked out. One he’d never seen before.
Leaning forward, he picked up the envelope, looking at the return address. Slipping the contents from the already-torn seal, he stared at what it said, his throat dry. A hard lump formed somewhere in his chest.
“What is this?”
Annabeth turned in surprise, staring at him holding the acceptance letter. He knew what it was. He just didn’t know why.
Annabeth froze, her neck instantly flushing. She seemed, for a moment, at a loss for words. “Oh—Percy…”
They looked at each other. He knew his face was set; hers was pink, flustered.
She cleared her throat. “It’s—uh, I was going to tell you…” she fiddled with the zipper on her jacket, still in her hands. “It doesn’t matter, though. I—I had to apply. My school—” She stopped, taking a deep breath. “I’m not going to NYU, okay? It doesn’t matter that I got in.” She gave a nervous laugh, clearing her throat again.
He looked from her to the envelope, turning it over slowly in his hands.
Annabeth started babbling to fill the silence. “I mean, you have to understand, my high school—they make us apply to a bunch of places, and I said I was going to the west coast, but it was hard to explain why I wouldn’t apply locally, too—and, I mean, NYU…everyone wants to go there—”
She broke off, drawing a deep breath. “Are you—are you mad?”
He looked at her, shaking his head once. “No.”
She wavered, looking torn. “Percy—really…”
He stood, tossing the envelope back on the table. “I just figured you could have told me. That’s all.”
“I know! I just hadn’t gotten around to it yet…”
“The date was from weeks ago.”
“I just—it doesn’t matter, okay? I’m not going.”
“Okay.”
He held the door for her. They walked down the hallway and out of the building, not speaking. Finally, Annabeth burst out, “There were a few other places, too. I mean, on the east coast. I—I figured you should know before you saw those letters, too.”
Percy looked at the sidewalk ahead, hands in his pockets. “Okay.”
They walked in silence for a few minutes. Then Percy glanced sideways at her. “Did you get in?”
Annabeth looked at him quickly. “To some. I haven’t heard back from them all…”
“Pretty expensive to apply to so many schools.”
She took a breath. “My dad paid for it.”
He nodded, still looking ahead.
They reached the library and found a private corner, falling into the familiar rhythm of taking out books, organizing notes and worksheets.
They worked in silence for several minutes, though in reality, neither of them was doing more than re-reading the same passages, inertly flipping through pages, not focusing at all.
Finally, Annabeth sighed and poked Percy in the arm with her pencil.
“Ow.” He rubbed his arm. “What was that for?”
She looked at him, a line between her eyebrows. “Would you please just talk to me?”
There was a beat of silence; then he exhaled through his nose, flipping a book shut. “What do you want me to say?”
“I feel like…you’re mad about the application thing.”
He poked a pencil through the binder hole on his notebook. “I’m not mad, Annabeth. I just feel like it was a weird thing to keep from me.”
She twisted a piece of hair around her finger, absently watching her fingertip swell and turn red. “I just—I didn’t want you to be upset. Because it wasn’t part of the plan.”
Percy looked at her, finally. “I guess it seems like a weird thing for you to do, since it wasn’t part of the plan.”
Her face turned faintly pink. When she didn’t speak, he went on. “I don’t buy that your school forced you to apply to a bunch of east coast schools.”
He watched her bite the inside of her cheek, her skin flushing deeper. She met his eyes. “It was just security, Percy. Smart people apply to as many schools as they can.”
They stared at each other for a moment, and then he pushed back his chair. “Great.” He threw down his pencil. “I guess I’m not too smart.”
He walked away, leaving his books and study material behind.
Annabeth swore under her breath, hastily shoving their things into her bag before rushing to follow. “Percy, wait!”
She caught up to him on the library steps, which he was taking two at a time.
“Percy, oh my gods, stop!” She tried to grab his arm. “You know I wasn’t—I didn’t mean it like that. Like you’re lesser, or—”
He shook her off. “I know, Annabeth.”
“Would you just stop and talk to me?”
Finally, he stopped. He wheeled to face her, hands in pockets, flexing his jaw.
She swallowed. “I just don’t understand why you’re so mad. I’m not—the plan is still the same.”
“Is it, though?”
“Yes!”
“Because it’s a little strange, that you would secretly apply to all these other schools, Annabeth. Like, if you didn’t get in to New Rome, or Berkeley, or wherever—which, yeah right—but you would just dip out? You know I didn’t apply anywhere close. You never suggested it.”
His eyes drilled into her. She looked smaller all the sudden, struggling to find words.
“I don’t—gods, Percy…” tears welled, and she looked away angrily. “I don’t know what you want me to say right now.”
He shook his head. “Whatever, Annabeth. Forget it.” He turned, and started walking away from her.
“Don’t walk away from me!” She yelled. “Stay here and talk to me, Percy Jackson!”
He turned so he was walking backwards. “Yeah, uh, I tried.”
She jogged to catch up to him. “I’m sorry I did that, Percy. I’m sorry.”
He slowed down, then stopped.
“I was just being neurotic. I was—overthinking.” She looked away, tears in her eyes again. “I was scared.” Her voice was small. “I’m used to…looking out for myself. Having a backup plan.”
His face was hard to read. There were several paces between them. “You need a backup plan for our relationship.” He didn’t phrase it as a question.
She drew a shaky breath. “That’s not—”
“Yeah. It is.”
She swiped at her eyes. “Okay, fine. Maybe I did! I don’t know what else to tell you.”
He exhaled. “This ‘scared’ routine gets old eventually, you know that, Annabeth?”
She took a step back, looking like he’d slapped her. “How could you say something like—?”
“Because I’m sick of you having one foot out the door! Why is it that you can’t just commit?” He spread his arms wide, anger palpable. “Guess what? I don’t have a plan for ‘if we break up!’ I’m not lining up backup options for the end of this relationship.” He shook his head. “I don’t have other objectives. I’m planning the future we actually talk about, not one with a secret back-exit."
Annabeth stared at him, her mouth open. “That’s not—I don’t—” abruptly, she burst into tears. “You’re not being fair.”
“Well, you’re deluding yourself.”
“You can’t just insist you know what’s going on in my head.” Annabeth swiped her sleeve under her eyes, crying harder.
“Except when I do. And I am sick of being the only one with two feet in this relationship.” Percy’s voice cracked. He turned away. “I have to go.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.”
.
.
.
Neither of them went home. Before even an hour had passed, guilt had nearly swallowed them both. Percy was the first to text.
I’m sorry. Can we please talk?
Annabeth answered within a minute. Yeah. Me too. Park?
They found each other at their usual spot. Before they’d even said anything, Annabeth started crying again, and Percy folded her into his arms.
“I’m sorry for being an asshole.” He said, smoothing her hair.
She shook her head against his chest. “No. I mean, kind of. But…” She drew a shaky breath. “You were right, okay? You named what was going on in my head. And that freaked me out.”
He said nothing, rubbing a slow circle on her lower back.
She stared across the park. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Percy. I—” She took a deep breath. “You know how I am, and I don’t know how to change that. I get…scared.”
Again, he didn’t speak, just tightened his hands on her.
She pressed her face into his shoulder. “I won’t keep anything from you, anymore.”
He kissed her hair, leaving his face there for a long minute. “You’re not the only one who gets scared, you know.” He spoke into her hair, voice low.
She tipped her head up, her chin against his chest. “Really?”
He kissed between her eyes. “Really.”
A small smile tugged at her mouth. “Please say it.”
She didn’t need to specify what ‘it’ was. He rolled his eyes, but humored her. “Annabeth Chase.” He looked her in the eyes. “I will never leave you.”
She dug her fingers into him, smiling. “Never, ever?”
“Nope. Unless you make me say it again.”
She laughed, contented, and leaned upward to show him how she felt.