Chapter Text
~♔~ THE BEGINNING ~⊕~
Moran. Here's the information for your final test.
ATTACHMENT
Contact me once you've completed your task.
There's a bonus in it for you if you get me photographic proof.
- JM♔
Yes Sir, Mister Moriarty
- Moran
Mission Accomplished, Sir. Here's your proof
ATTACHMENT
- Moran
BANK DEPOSIT CONFIRMATION
600,000 POUNDS STERLING
Moran - new target.
ATTACHMENT
Make it look like an accident.
- JM♔
Yes Sir
- Moran
ATTACHMENT
- Moran
BANK DEPOSIT CONFIRMATION
500,000 POUNDS STERLING
How would you feel about joining the ranks of my organisation in a permanent capacity, rather than on a contractual basis?
- JM♔
What would my duties be, Sir?
- Moran
Personal assistant/assassin and bodyguard.
- JM♔
Perks package is nothing to scoff at - I have a personal medical team available, and I can supply you with almost any weapon you'll need, no matter the cost. Think it over, Moran.
- JM♔
Moriarty - I'm in.
- Moran.
Of course you are. Welcome to the family.
- JM♔
~♔~ 3 MONTHS LATER ~⊕~
Sir, permission to ask a question about what occurred this morning?
- Moran
Wha... Oh. Pay no attention to it.
- JM♔
Yes, Sir
- Moran
Sebastian?
- JM♔
...Sir?
- Moran
Do you know where I am?
- JM♔
Mister Moriarty, Sir, are you all right?
- Moran
I'm not James, Sebastian, I'm Jim. We met the other day. Where am I?
- JM♔
...Do you need me to come get you, Sir?
- Moran
Please don't call me Sir, Sebastian. I don't like it. Call me Jim, okay?
- JM♔
And yes, please come get me, Sebastian.
- JM♔
I'm right outside now, Sir
- Moran
I asked you not to call me that, Sebastian. I really don't like it. Please just call me Jim?
- JM♔
I'm right outside now, Jim
- Moran
Thank you, Sebastian. You're a life-saver!
- JM♔
Moran. Forget yesterday happened.
- JM♔
Yes Sir
- Moran
I mean it, Moran. Mention it even once and I will cut out your tongue.
- JM♔
Mention what, Sir?
- Moran
Good man.
- JM♔
~♔~ 3 MONTHS LATER ~⊕~
I've decided I can trust you, Moran, and, as such, I'm going to give you a new task.
- JM♔
Sir?
- Moran
Entertain The Annoyance for the evening. He's making it completely IMPOSSIBLE to get any work done.
- JM♔
The... Annoyance, Sir?
- Moran
My... 'mild mannered alter ego', as it were.
- JM♔
Yes, I know, it's unorthodox. Just keep it from leaving the flat, will you?
- JM♔
You act like he's a crazy uncle or something...
- Moran
I only wish it were.
- JM♔
Hey Sebastian! ( ^_^)／
- JM♔
Hello... Jim, right?
- Moran
Yep! I'll change the signature to my name so it isn't so confusing. (*＾-’) 乃 Anyway, James doesn't usually let me out unless it's for a job (-_-) but he decided that I can talk to you! (*≧▽≦)
I can't remember the last time I got to just 'hang out'- not since Uni, I think... ɿ(｡･ɜ･)ɾ Do you like chess? OR, WAIT, NO, TABLE TENNIS! Do you like table tennis?
( ^o)ρ┳┻┳°σ(o^ )
- Jim
..What the hell is with all the weird punctuation things?
- Moran
They're kaomoji! (ﾉﾟ▽ﾟ)ﾉ You can use them to express yourself when you're texting. Look!
- Jim
Okay... So the Boss just wants me to... Entertain him- er, you..?
- Moran
Yeah, pretty much. When I get bored I go stir crazy, and then I cause problems for him. Remember when you had to pick me up from that restaurant last month? He was SUPER mad about that... ლಠ益ಠ)ლ
- Jim
How does that even work? I mean, you're the same person
- Moran
We share a body and have some personality traits in common, but we aren't the same person! (ノ#-_-)ノ ミ┴┴
- Jim
Okay, what the hell is that one supposed to be?
- Moran
It's a Table Flip of Frustration. I'll put it back now. ┬──┬◡ﾉ(° -°ﾉ) Do you like Thai food? The note says I can order take-out if you pick it up and bring it to me.
- Jim
You wrote a note to yourself to give yourself permission to order Thai food.
- Moran
No, JAMES wrote ME a note to give ME permission to order Thai food. You really should pay better attention, Sebastian. So will you? Please? ('ʃƪ')
- Jim
I'll do it if you stop sending me those damn punctuation faces
- Moran
Aww, but they're cute! Oh, fine. The note says you know where to go, and that I'm supposed to order "the usual". What is that, exactly?
- Jim
You know what, Jim? I've wondered that since he ordered it the first time. I'm pretty sure it's some sort of spicy green chili curry, though
- Moran
Really? Eww. What do you usually get?
- Jim
Some sort of chicken with rice thing - but honestly, I pick up a large carton of chips and eat them on my way to the house.
- Moran
Oh, that's really not fair. I haven't eaten good food in FOREVER!
- Jim
...Is this a test?
- Moran
What do you mean?
- Jim
Is this a test. Are you playing an elaborate prank on me to see if I'll follow orders?
- Moran
Wooow. He's got you whipped bad, doesn't he? Hahaha. But to answer your question, no, it's not a test. I just really want some chips. The note doesn't explicitly say I can't have chips, it just says "If you get hungry, you can call Moran and tell him to get the usual at the Thai place."
I'll tell you all his pet peeves and stuff if you do it, so it'll be a win-win situation. Please say yes?
- Jim
You're just as devious as he is, you know that?
- Moran
Doesn't surprise me all that much, to be honest. I'm going to cue up a movie - any requests?
- Jim
Are you actually gonna let me choose?
- Moran
Hahaha! Probably not.
- Jim
Moran, when I arranged the "play-date" for The Annoyance, I did so with the impression that you would simply entertain it for a while, not encourage it to 'express itself' . However, as I wasn't entirely clear with my orders, I can't exactly punish you for not following them.
I won't let that happen again.
ATTACHMENT: Rules for 'Jim'
- JM♔
Yes Sir. Sorry, Sir.
- Moran
~♔~ 3 MONTHS LATER ~⊕~
Moran - I need you to take The Annoyance out.
- JM♔
Take him out where, Sir?
- Moran
Somewhere. Anywhere. I can't stand his whining any longer, and I don't trust him alone, so you're babysitting.
- JM♔
Okay, I'll figure something out. When do you want me to get him?
- Moran
NOW.
- JM♔
James wears the most impractical clothes in the world. I mean, who wears Westwood every day? I bet Viv doesn't even wear it every day, and she DESIGNS it. ﾍ(;´Д｀ﾍ)
Where are we going?
- Jim
Trying to follow your logic, Jim, and it's not working
- Moran
T-shirt versus jumper. Duh.
- Jim
Oh. T-shirt, I guess. We're gonna be inside
- Moran
Inside where, Sebastian?
- Jim
The London Dungeon
- Moran
Holy shit, Jim, I can hear you squealing from here. Belt up or I'm not taking you
- Moran
I LOVE YOU SEBASTIAN MORAN \\(♡∀♡)//
- Jim
Yeah, that's not awkward at all, Kiddo. Now get your arse down here before I change my mind
- Moran
I had fun today. I STILL can't believe you got us thrown out of The Dungeon, though. ｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡
- Jim
FOR THE LAST TIME, JIM - IT WAS INSTINCTIVE. I'VE APOLOGISED TWENTY TIMES ALREADY. LET IT THE FUCK GO.
- Moran
Sorry! (シ_ _)シ
I just think it's surreal - I doubt they've ever had someone knock out Jack the Ripper before!
It was like: (ノಠ □ಠ)ノ彡( \o°o)\ ∑(O_O;)
- Jim
You're ridiculous. You know that, right?
- Moran
Yep! (•̀o•́)ง
- Jim
Goodnight, Kiddo.
- Moran
Goodnight, Sebastian.
- Jim
~♔~ 3 MONTHS LATER ~⊕~
Do you have a valid pilot's certification, Moran?
- JM♔
I need to be recertified, Sir
- Moran
Get on that, then. The company pilot has just had a rather horrific accident, it seems.
- JM♔
Yes, Sir
- Moran
Moran - get the jet prepped.
- JM♔
Destination, Sir?
- Moran
Tokyo. Have it ready in an hour at the most.
- JM♔
Ready with 20 minutes to spare
- Moran
Feeling cocky are we, Moran?
- JM♔
I apologise, Sir
- Moran
...No, it's fine. You're allowed to take pride in your work, soldier.
- JM♔
Are you sure you don't want me to go with you, Sir?
- Moran
We've discussed this, Moran. It's a simple business negotiation. Stay in your hotel room - order yourself room service and a movie or something. I'll be finished in no more than three hours, at which point we can leave.
- JM♔
Sir, I know it's not my place to say this, but I really would feel safer if you took a weapon with you, just in case
- Moran
I was unaware that you cared so much, Moran.
- JM♔
You are my meal ticket, Sir.
- Moran
Do you always get emotionally attached to your 'meal tickets'? Or just the ones with annoying psychological baggage?
- JM♔
Don't think I haven't noticed, Moran.
- JM♔
hlp
- UNKNOWN
Boss?!
- Moran
seb cme gt me plz
- UNKNOWN
Jim?! I've been looking everywhere for you! Your GPS tag isn't showing up, the tracker in the suit coat isn't working... What the bloody hell happened?! He said you didn't need me to be there, he said it was just a simple negotiation, he said it would only be three hours - it's been TWO DAYS, Jim!
- Moran
smlls lik fsh slt sunds peple hrd typ1hnd bleding hed
- UNKNOWN
Shit, shit, SHIT! Ok, so you're typing with one hand and your head is bleeding. You can smell Fish and... Salt?
- Moran
ys her vices lots peple bsy
- UNKNOWN
Voices... Lots of people- Shit, you're at the fish market by the docks. Right. Okay, hang on Kiddo. I'm on my way.
- Moran
