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Their hands touched when Logan bent down to pick up his fallen book. It made him jump slightly, electricity sparking where their skin met.
Looking up he saw the hands belonged to the one person he both hoped for and didn’t; the gorgeous PhD student that so often studied in his library. The guy smiled, offering the book out as they slowly stood, but not before looking over the cover. “Pluto and its puzzles. Interesting. You a space nerd too?” He asked, letting Logan take the book.
“Oh I, did my masters thesis in astrophysics. So, I guess I am? A space nerd?” The librarian tried to reply smoothly. He was... pretty sure it didn’t work.
The student smiled at him kindly anyway, which he was grateful for. “Sounds cool. I did criminal psych for mine, ended up doing this doctorate because it was easier than trying to find a job. How’d you end up working in a library after physicking space, anyway?”
Logan paused, unsure if he should correct the idea of ‘physicking space’ as an accurate descriptor of what he’d studied, but the twinkle in the guy’s eye hinted that maybe he was just teasing. Fascinating. Cool. “Oh I didn’t find a doctorate in time, I guess,” he joked, and his effort was rewarded by a bright smile. Okay, he liked this. He didn’t know what was happening but it was good. “I’m Logan. I’ve seen you here a lot, it’s nice to have regulars. Feels a bit ‘homey’, as they say.”
PhD guy held his hand out with a soft snort. “Do they. Well, Logan the Librarian- I’m Des the hopefully-gonna-be-a-doctor-someday. Nice to meet you. Guess we’ll be seeing each other around a lot, I’ve got several years left of this schtick.”
“Better you than me,” Logan smiled, and he took the offered hand. “I look forward to it.”
A year passed by quick as a flash. Des had a very rigid routine that worked well with Logan’s shift schedule, and they hung out a lot. People didn’t use libraries so much anymore, and when they did they often didn’t need much help from the staff, so Logan felt a bit more like a glorified janitor most days. But when Des was there he’d have the librarian running every which way looking for sources and references and asking him to check his writing, which it turned out Logan had a hitherto unknown skill for.
Logan was smitten. Des was gorgeous, obviously, and smart and passionate and enthusiastic, but never overwhelming. So much so that Logan had in fact been practising his speech to ask the guy out at long last. Today was the day.
Today was not the day. Des had a boyfriend and he was in love with him and they were so adorable god help him.
Well, it wasn’t so bad being a study buddy. Maybe even friends.
“Of course we’re friends!” Des exclaimed with barely restrained exasperation. “What are you talking about?!”
“I just... wanted to check! I didn’t want to be bothering you, all the time-”
“Well you aren’t so stop suggesting-”
“Because I often bother people and I don’t want to bother you because I want you to keep coming back so I can keep talk to you!”
They stared at each other in the stacks, voices low and intense as they tried to keep the volume appropriate to their setting. “You- why would we not keep talking? Do you spend this much time with anyone else?! Don’t answer that I know you don’t. Look, I’ve got a year and a half of this left, at least. I’m not going anywhere. But if you’re that worried, why don’t you just take my number?”
Oh. “Oh. Yes please.” Logan nodded sheepishly. “That would help a lot.”
“Well then it’s settled. Friends.” Des nodded, cheeks slightly pink as he held his phone out. “Good.”
New Year’s Eve was supposed to be fun. It was fun! No, actually it wasn’t, Logan was having a shitty, shitty time.
Not because the party wasn’t awesome because it was. Not because the company wasn’t great because it was. Not because he wasn’t drinking enough to keep up with the rest because hell, he was. Maybe a little too much, because now the melancholy had caught up. Patton and Des were canoodling in the corner, had been since Des had got up to go and get a new drink and had promptly been waylaid by his boyfriend, and Logan was on the couch listening to some of their friends talk nearby.
He felt sick with want, and guilt, and drink, and he got up suddenly to go and get some air on their little balcony.
“Logan?” Patton asked from behind him. Sweet Patton, what a delightful bonus to making friends with Des he’d been. Almost as dear a friend, and only ‘almost’ because he hadn’t known him quite as long. But not who he wanted to see at that moment. “I’ll get Des,” Patton finished softly, and Logan loved the way he knew what to do. But that was a dilemma for next year. Hah, New Year’s Eve jokes... Patton would’ve loved that actually.
"Patton said you were moping out here. Wanna talk?” Des came to stand next to him, close enough to share warmth. “You’ve been dealing with something for a little while, I think. I’ve seen it in your eyes.” Logan turned to look at him in alarm, noting that Des looked about as flushed and intoxicated as he did, not enough to affect his senses but certainly enough to loosen the lips. “I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking. I’ve seen it. Don’t try and tell me it’s not true, don’t-”
“It’s true.” Des went quiet, staring at him with big eyes, shining in the light from the streetlamps below. “I think I’m in love with you. I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death. I might even be in love with Patton a little bit, and I’m so sorry, fuck I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-” Logan clapped a hand over his mouth, vision swimming, and not from the alcohol.
But, miracle of miracles; Des didn’t shout and run away never to look at him again. Instead he moved closer, and took Logan’s hands to pull them away from his face tenderly. He looked at the librarian seriously. “Don’t say sorry. Please don’t say sorry for that, okay?” He said, voice smaller than Logan had ever heard it. “Or else I’ll have to say sorry too-”
“And me.” Patton stepped out to join them, chewing his lip uncertainly. “Um, sorry to break the moment but I wanted to check on you and I heard what you said. Des is right, Logan. We’ve talked about this, over and over again since Des first came back from the library raving about you. So either we all apologise or...”
Des looked back to Logan hopefully, still holding his hands. “Or you stop and kiss me.”
Logan’s brain wasn’t working. Was this real? Was it really happening? Was it just the drink? Was Patton actually okay with this- on board with this?!
“Ooh, and me!” Patton chimed in.
Oh, well. Okay then.
It was certainly one hell of a way to start the year.