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“And that’s why I will only be wearing platforms from now on. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.” Patton gave a little bow at the waist and threw himself onto the couch, worming his way in between his boyfriends. “You may now ask questions.”
Devon and Remus looked at each other over his head, sharing fondly amused smiles. “Okay I’ll bite. What exactly do you even dislike about being short anyway, I think it’s better!” Remus said, lifting Patton’s legs up to start massaging his calves, making his irate boyfriend groan happily.
“Yesterday I couldn’t reach the coffee because Dev put it on the ‘too high for Patton’ shelf. And I’m not sure that wasn’t deliberate, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because I don’t have time to investigate right now. Oh and last week I nearly died trying to re-hook the shower curtain when it was washed, because I had to climb onto the bath tub to do it!”
“Oh c’mon sweetheart, anyone could have the same problem. Hell I used to in my old apartment cause those damn shelves were so high on the wall,” Devon said, weathering Patton’s fierce scowl coolly.
“Don’t do your lawyer thing, that’s a different apartment, it’s totally irrelevant.”
“Still don’t see why you’d decide to not want to be short,” Remus muttered under his breath.
Patton pouted at them both. “Let’s review the evidence, shall we? Why am I the only one having these issues? I don’t see you two struggling, not here where we live... So ergo, therefore, in conclusion; I will be wearing platforms from now on. Thank you and goodnight.”
He lay back down, dragging Devon’s hand to his face so he’d stroke it in Patton’s favourite way. “Alright sugar. We’ll get you some platforms at the weekend,” the lawyer sighed, hunching over to kiss the tip of his boyfriend’s nose. Remus perked up at the suggestion.
“Ooh, can I look for more crocs-”
Patton shook with laughter as Devon took a deep breath. Platforms were one thing. Crocs were a step too far...