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Yayoi heard the front door to their apartment close and took a calming breath to prepare herself. She wasn’t really sure whether what she was planning was a good idea or not, but Yayoi knew she couldn’t bear Ritsuka’s closed off expression any longer.
She’d hurt him, even though that hadn’t been her intention. She’d questioned her brother’s fledgling feelings towards that kid in his band, even going so far as to call them unnatural and weird. What kind of thing was that for a big sister to do?
Especially when Ritsuka was so hesitant to show any feelings in the first place.
From the moment she’d uttered the words she’d wanted to take them back. Ritsuka had never been in love before, had never really shown interest in anything outside of his guitar. And now that he finally had, she had stomped all over it.
Ever since that day, they had lived as strangers, sharing the same house but not really speaking much outside of the necessary interactions to keep their parents off their radar, and Yayoi hated it.
She missed her little brother.
She looked at the bags she had placed on the kitchen counter earlier and hoped it was enough to repair what she’d broken. Yayoi grabbed the pot she would need to heat up the heavy cream, making as much noise as she was able in an effort to arouse her brother’s curiosity, but after a few minutes had passed, she gave up and went for a more direct approach.
“Ritsuka, can you come here for a moment?”
“What do you want?” his voice startled her, he’d been closer than she’d thought.
“Oh, hey! I was hoping you could help me with something,” Yayoi offered him her friendliest smile, the one which could usually get her anything she wanted from any male. Except for brothers apparently. Her smile dimmed as Ritsuka studied her with the same guarded expression that he’d given her since that day.
“Uhm, do you think you could chop up some chocolate for me?” Yayoi pleaded, “I have a shoot later today, and I can’t afford to break a nail.”
That was total bullshit. Even if she did such a thing, a nail artist would fix it promptly, but he didn’t have to know that.
“Fine,” Ritsuka went to the sink and washed his hands before accepting the packages of bittersweet chocolate from her and grabbing a large chef knife. He set about doing as she asked, and she used the time to think about what she wanted to say, not wanting to bring anything up while he was using a knife. His hands were just as important to him, especially now that his band seemed to be taking off.
She emptied out the remaining bags, placing the contents on the counter before filling the pot with the cream and putting it on the stove. She hummed a song as she waited for the cream to almost boil.
“What are you doing, anyway?”
“Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be nice to make some chocolates for Take,” Yayoi explained, and then as if the idea had just occurred to her she added, “I don’t suppose you’d like to make some as well?”
“For Take? Why would I?” Ritsuka frowned.
“No moron, for your friend. I mean boyfriend,” she quickly amended with a laugh, wincing when it came out brittle, “I bought plenty of ingredients. You know, in case I messed up.”
Ritsuka was studying her once again, his eyes narrowing in distrust. He went back to the chopping board, carefully scooping some of the chocolate into the bowl Yayoi had placed for that purpose before resuming his chopping.
“Please stop for a moment,” Yayoi pleaded, ignoring the pot for now as she watched her brother put the knife down and clench the edge of the counter tightly.
“I screwed up, okay? I know I did, and I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said those things to you,” Yayoi hugged her brother, ignoring the fact that he stiffened at her touch.
“Why not? You meant them,” Ritsuka snapped, letting some of his anger surface.
“I - I did, but I was wrong to say anything. And if I’m honest, I was mostly angry at Akihiko at the time. I couldn’t accept that he preferred another man to me,” she confessed. She might not have been consciously aware of it at the time, but her conversation with Haruki had convinced her of that fact.
“Look, it doesn’t matter what I think, or whether I understand your feelings or not. The only important thing is that you feel that way and that it makes you feel happy.”
Ritsuka hung his head, and she let go of him finally, knowing he wasn’t a massive fan of physical affection, at least not from her.
“Scared,” Ritsuka corrected, turning to look at her.
“What?”
“It makes me scared to feel this way,” Ritsuka admitted bluntly, “but also happy.”
Yayoi smiled, “I think I know how you feel, I get the feeling Take is a bit too good for me. But don’t tell him I said that.”
Ritsuka laughed, the first real one she’d heard in a while. “He is, actually,” he teased, “Way too good for the likes of you.”
“I want to understand, I really do,” Yayoi insisted, wanting Ritsuka to realize how important this was to her, how important he was to her.
“You should meet him then,” he invited, his eyes lighting up as he spoke about his boyfriend, “His name is Mafuyu. He’s a bit awkward and shy, and his guitar playing could use some work, but he uhm, well, he’s alright.”
Yayoi stared at him in wonder and burst into giggles.
“What’s so funny?” Rituska’s voice wavered, and she could hear the hurt closing in, threatening to ruin her efforts again.
“That might just be the most I’ve heard you say all at once, that’s all,” she replied, still giggling. “I definitely need to meet the guy who can make my little brother so chatty.”
Ritsuka shoved her playfully with his hips, and she felt contented, at peace. This was more like it.
“Does Mafuyu like chocolate?”
“Yeah, but maybe not these so much.”
“Are you insulting my chocolates?”
“No, but we’ll need to start over, the cream just boiled over,” Ritsuka pointed out, and Yayoi could see he was right.
“Shit!” she ran to the stove, pointedly ignoring her brother’s snickers and snide remarks about her cooking skills.
Ritsuka had already taken out a new pot and was pouring the cream into it, having read over the recipe while she cleaned up.
“I guess I’ll make some too, Mafuyu does have a sweet tooth,” he mentioned casually, even as he complained when he examined the molds she had bought, “Did it have to be hearts though? It’s so girly.”
“Says the guy who’s dating another guy,” Yayoi teased, snickering at the way Ritsuka stuck his tongue out at her.
“I might be gay, but I’m not a girl.”
It was said in a flippant tone, but Yayoi recognized it for what it was, a declaration. And maybe a test of sorts to see how she would react.
“Got it,” she replied with a smile, “and for the record, I like you just the way you are, even if you are a pain in my ass.”
Ritsuka rolled his eyes at her, but the return of his smile was everything she could have hoped for. She knew she hadn’t fixed everything, this was only a beginning, but she would do her best to be worthy of the second chance he’d given her.