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“What’s got you in such a bad mood?” Liz was surprised to find Jordan slouched on her dingy couch, chain smoking and scowling at the wall.
“I’m not in a bad mood.” Jordan denied, tapping some ash into the half-full ashtray on the table in front of her.
“That look could strip the paint off the walls.” Liz set down her clipboard full of her pre-show to-do list and taking a seat on the lumpy cushions beside her best friend. “Wanna talk about it?”
Without turning her head, Jordan looked at Liz out of the corner of her eye. Even from an angle, her gaze was piercing. Striking blue eyes full of annoyance.
Liz had known her too long to be intimidated by her anymore, much to Jordan’s chagrin. When Liz kept looking at her expectantly, Jordan sighed and her eyes moved back to the wall across her dressing room.
“You know me,” She muttered, snuffing out a spent cigarette butt before tapping a fresh one out of the box and striking her lighter. “I’m just a bitch constantly in a bad mood.”
“Don’t say that!” Liz gasped and Jordan chuckled as she exhaled a puff of smoke. “You only smoke inside when you’re really upset. Please tell me what’s wrong?”
“I should get a new manager. You know too much.” Jordan turned her head slightly to regard Liz and she looked hurt. “I’m kidding!” she said quickly. “Sorry, I’m not good at jokes.”
“It’s okay...” Liz muttered. Her sheepish tone made Jordan let out a groan of frustration and put her head in her hands.
The two of them sat in silence for a while before Jordan finally decided to speak.
“I just... fucking hate Valentine’s Day.” she admitted.
“Really? That’s it?” Liz laughed incredulously and Jordan scowled at her. “Jordan I didn’t consider you to be one of those people who got upset about being single on Valentine’s Day.”
“Ugh, it’s not that.” Jordan cringed. “While being single at 30 isn’t my most crowning achievement, I am fine with it.” She took a drag off of her cigarette and tapped more ash into the glass ashtray. “I just... everything about this day fucking irks me.”
“Like... what?” Liz couldn’t understand being so upset about such a trivial holiday.
“You wouldn’t get it. You’re basically a cherub, already.”
“What does that mean?” Liz asked, unsure if she had just been insulted.
“I just... You’re too optimistic and peppy to understand.” Jordan huffed, trying to find the right way to explain her feelings. “I can’t stand forced niceties.”
“You think it’s forced?” Liz quirked her head to the side, orange curly hair bouncing from the movement.
“Of course it is. No one is buying gifts and being all mushy of their own free will.” Jordan scoffed. “They’re doing just because they’re expected to. All the flowers and chocolates and kind words. All bullshit.”
“You sound like Ebenezer Scrooge. But for Valentine’s Day.” Liz mumbled, causing Jordan to let out a genuine laugh.
“Ba Humbug, or whatever-the-fuck.” She chuckled and leaned back. “Oh shit, is that the time?” Jordan jumped up, dropping her cigarette and cursing as she stomped it out on the ground and started brushing hot ash off herself. Liz glanced up at the clock. Five minutes to show and Jordan wasn’t fully dressed, and she still had a dozen things to get done.
“Can’t believe I lost track of time.” Jordan chastised herself. Both women started scrambling around backstage, trying to be quiet enough that the audience wouldn’t hear them thumping around. “I’m just so used to--” Jordan cut herself off and Liz caught her ears turning pink from the corner of her eye.
“Used to what?” Liz was flipping through papers on her clipboard, trying to figure out what she could get done. “Oh, do you mean the ghoul?” Liz hadn’t realized it, but the ghoul with flowers hadn’t shown up that night.
“Yeah... Always twenty minutes before show on the dot.” Jordan was embarrassed to admit that she had been waiting for flowers from Copia to show up. “Figures on the one day you’d expect flowers, none show up.” she grumbled as she hurried to put her thick black hair into something resembling a bun.
“Does that upset you?” Liz gauged her friend’s reaction.
“It upsets me I expected it.” Jordan was zipping up her dress and forcing her feet into her heels, very obviously avoiding looking at her. “But it doesn’t matter. Let’s get this over with.”
--
“Do you know how gross it feels to know you’re background music to people’s make-out sessions?” Jordan grumbled as she strode off stage, past Liz, and into her dressing room. The band continued to play once she left the stage, the loud music covering her angry footsteps.
Crossing the threshold to her dressing room, Jordan saw vases full of different flowers.A large stack of chocolate boxes covered her table, surrounded with a few bottles of wine.
“Hey Liz?” Jordan put her hands on her hips. “What the fuck is this?”
“Well, uhm...” Liz laughed awkwardly. “Quite a few people sent things for you. Johnny was just keeping them in the back of the house but, since Mr. Copia sent nothing, I thought this might make you feel better...?”
Jordan inhaled sharply, fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. She didn’t accept gifts. Liz knew that. She was angry that her wishes weren’t respected. Her first instinct was to yell, but she realized Liz was just trying to be nice.
“I get that your heart was in the right place.” Jordan let out a large sigh, crossing her arms. “Just... do nothing like this again.”
“O-okay.” Liz was shocked that Jordan didn’t blow up on her. “Thank you for not getting angry at me.”
“You’re welcome, I guess?” she had been working on her temper, so Jordan appreciated that her friend recognized her efforts.
Jordan stepped farther into the room, leaning on the arm of the couch to take off her shoes before picking up one bottle of wine.
“You sure this isn’t poison?”
“It hasn’t been opened so... I don’t think so.”
“Works for me. Could you get me a--”
“Corkscrew and glasses are on your makeup table.” Liz sounded proud of herself.
“Huh,” Jordan picked up the simple corkscrew and opened the bottle. “You do know me too well. Maybe I can keep you as my manager, after all.” Jordan laughed as she poured herself a tall glass and took a sip of the deep red wine. When she didn’t immediately drop dead, she shrugged and set the bottle down, picking up another bottle and shoving it into Liz’s hands.
“Now, you take this and go have a few drinks with Johnny, okay?” she spun Liz around and pushed her out of the dressing room.
“B-but Jordan! I have work!” Liz protested, digging her heels into the floor.
“One of us should have a good Valentine’s Day.” Jordan rested her chin on her much-shorter friend’s head.
“I don’t know what you mean.” Liz sounded nervous, and Jordan chuckled mischievously.
“I mean, go get your man.” She pushed Liz forward, who stumbled and clumsily turned to face Jordan.
“B-but he’s not — I mean — I-I shouldn’t—” Jordan crossed her arms, leaning against the door frame as she quirked her eyebrow, challenging Liz to tell her no.
“... Thanks.” The word was barely a whimper as Liz scampered off, leaving Jordan alone.
The sound of the band playing sounded dull through the wooden walls. They would play for hours to accommodate all the slow dancing couples. Idolatrine was open late for the occasion. Jordan figured she might as well enjoy the music and booze before walking home.
Wine always hit her differently than the whiskey she usually drank. Usually she’d take shots of whiskey to calm her nerves. But wine made her feel loose and relaxed. It was a welcomed feeling that helped soften her mood.
By her second glass, Jordan decided that cracking open one box of chocolates couldn’t hurt. She stood to inspect every box until picking one she thought looked nice. When she opened it, she found it was one of those boxes with an assortment of different chocolates with no indicator of which was which.
“Fuckin’ hate these things.” she grumbled before picking one and popping it into her mouth. It was something with caramel. Not bad. Just very chewy.
As she looked at the box, trying to decide if another chocolate looked safe to eat, the sound of footsteps approaching made Jordan pause and shout out into the hall.
“If you’re some couple looking for somewhere to fuck, I’m still back here! Go to the bathrooms or something!” She snorted, amused, before returning to her swaying and humming.
“Do I walk loud enough I sound like two people?” Copia, in his white suit and black hat, stepped into view and Jordan froze before bursting to laughter.
“No, no, no!” She laughed. “I just... It’s happened before.” She put another chocolate into her mouth. Her nose scrunched up, and she quickly spat it into her hand.
“Coconut, ugh.” She realized Copia was still in the room and hurriedly tossed the chocolate into the trash and grabbed a few tissues from her purse to wipe off her hand, turning red as she looked at Copia.
“Sorry. That was gross. Those things are just like Russian roulette, but with candy.” Another beat and she realized who she was talking to. “Wait, what the fuck are you doing here? My set was over like a half hour ago.”
“Well, you usually come out into the alley once your performance is over. You, uh, well... You didn’t tonight, so I came to see if you were still here.”
“Oh shit, were you waiting for me?”
“Not for long but--”
“Fuck, I’m sorry. The flower ghoul, or whoever, didn’t come, so I thought you weren’t here. That and I had a little wine and kind of... forgot.” she giggled.
“Ah, that explains it.” Copia looked amused.
“Explains what?” Jordan frowned childishly and Copia looked everywhere but at her, unsure what to say.
“Eh heh, well…You’re just behaving differently.” Copia removed his hat and set it on her vanity, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly.
“I’m not--” Jordan went to protest before stopping herself. “Okay, yeah, I get weird on wine. Sorry.”
“It’s all right.” Copia shrugged. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was here, and about the lack of flowers tonight.”
“It’s whatever.” Jordan shrugged back at him. “I hate getting things on Valentine’s Day, anyway.”
“You... do?” Copia looked around the room at the array of flowers other gifts.
“Yeah, it’s so disingenuous.” She stuck out her tongue. “I hate that people feel obligated to be nice or ‘romantic’ or whatever.” She put “romantic” in air quotes. “You should be nice to someone because you want to, not because you feel you have to.”
“I see...” Copia trailed off, still looking around the room.
“Liz put these here.” Jordan explained, and Copia nodded in understanding. “She said I was the Ebenezer Scrooge of Valentine’s Day. Gave me all these gifts from fans to make me feel better, I guess.”
“You have quite a few admirers, Miss Clarke.”
“‘Admirers’, yeah.” More air quotes. “But these people wouldn’t look at me twice if I wasn’t kinda famous. Super shallow bullshit.”
“Forgive me for saying,” Copia started and Jordan quirked her eyebrow at him. “But Miss Monson has a point. You seem particularly upset about the holiday.”
“I-I’m not that upset!” Jordan protested, face burning. “I just..... I’m not upset, okay?!”
“If you say so.” Copia chuckled, hiding his smile behind his hand.
“I’m not!” she insisted. “It’s just that I--” A change in the song caught her ear and she looked over Copia’s shoulder to the stage entrance.
“Oh, I love this one! My mom used to have this on a record that she’d play while she cleaned on Sundays - not that you care about that, though. There were lyrics, though. Shit... what were they? They went something like-” Jordan hummed out the tune, mumbling incomprehensible words as she tried to remember. As she closed her eyes to focus on the song, swaying back and forth to the rhythm. She heard Copia stifle a laugh, and she opened her eyes to glare at him.
“What’s so funny?” she demanded.
“I’ve just never seen you like this.” Copia’s eyes crinkled fondly at her and Jordan looked away to hide her flush. “It’s not bad. It’s cute.”
“I am not cute!” The temperature of Jordan’s cheeks continued to rise. “I’m a full-grown woman. I. Am. Not. Cute.”
“Those aren’t mutually exclusive things.” Copia pointed out and Jordan grumbled childishly.
It was quiet for a moment, the song continuing in the background, before Copia pointed out that Jordan was still slightly swaying to the rhythm.
“Would you like to dance?” He offered her hand to her, and Jordan shook her head.
“I don’t dance.”
“Neither do I.”
“I feel like that’s a lie.”
There was another silence. Copia kept his hand extended to her, but after a few seconds he faltered and pulled away. Jordan instantly felt like a jerk.
“Okay, sure.” She hastily grabbed his hand and pulled him into a more open part of the room. She kept her hold on his hand and moved his other to her waist. Copia stared at her for a second and she got nervous.
“Am I already doing it wrong?” She asked. Copia smiled and readjusted so they were in a proper waltzing form.
“I knew you were lying about not knowing how to dance.” Jordan smirked as he guided her.
“I never said I didn’t know how to dance. I just said that I don’t.”
“What’s the difference?” she squinted.
“I used to. I don’t anymore.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t have anyone to dance with.”
“Oh...” Jordan muttered, feeling awkward and looking down at her shoes.
“It’s nothing bad.” Copia insisted as he kept them moving in a very small box step. “I learned when I was younger to impress people.”
“Did it work?”
“Yes and no.”
“What does that mean?” Jordan’s eyes moved from the floor back to Copia and he shrugged. “You’re mysterious. Do you do that on purpose?”
Copia didn’t respond, just kept their dance going while she did her best to follow.
“I know this song, too.” He said after a moment.
“You do?” It was probably a common song, but Jordan was still surprised. “Do you remember the words? I still can’t.”
Copia chuckled nervously before nodding. Jordan stared at him expectantly until Copia awkwardly cleared his throat and started singing. A few seconds in, she realized that this was the first time someone other than her mother sang to her. That made her heart feel a little funny.
After a few lines, the words came back and Jordan joined in, the both of them in tune with the music. Copia’s voice started peter out until she hit his arm and insisted he kept singing. When the song was over, he looked embarrassed and quickly stepped back from her, but Jordan was beaming.
“You’re a good singer.” she insisted. Copia shook his head. “I’m serious!” she hit him in the arm again.
“Not compared to you...” He murmured and Jordan’s face flushed.
“I mean... I’m not that great, really.” Copia gave her a look, and she turned away.
“I wouldn’t send flowers every night to someone who is ‘not that great.’”
“I-If you say so...” Jordan wasn’t used to blushing, and she felt like her face was boiling.
“Uh, not that I’m mad or anything,” she started. “But why didn’t you send flowers tonight? Just curious.”
“Oh... I feel like I shouldn’t say.” Copia put his hands in his pockets awkwardly.
“But that makes me even more curious!” Jordan whined. “Please tell me? Whatever it is, I won’t be mad.”
“Well, I...” Copia shuffled back and forth awkwardly on his feet. “I have different present for you.” He unbuttoned his jacket and pulled a small, thin box from his inside pocket and handed it over to her. Inside was a hairpin, covered in gems in various shades of blue.
“I noticed the stone in the one you usually wear fell out a while ago.” He explained. Jordan looked confused. Reaching up to pull the pin out of her hair, a piece of hair fell sloppily down the side of her face as she did so. It was in a long pin with a star made of many fake stones on the end. Sure enough, the center stone was gone. She hadn’t even noticed.
“Oh, Copia... You really didn’t have to.” She was touched, but she also felt bad. “You shouldn’t feel you have to get me anything for Valentine’s Day.”
“I didn’t get you anything though... Not for Valentine’s Day, I mean.” Jordan’s expression shifted from guilt to confusion. “I ordered that weeks ago. The jeweler said it wouldn’t be finished for at least another month. But they sent me a notice yesterday saying it was ready. My days blend together, so I didn’t even know it was Valentine’s until the girl at the jewelry store said something.”
“So... You got me this just because?”
“I would never be presumptuous enough to think you’d want something from me for a romantic holiday.” Copia explained. “That also puts too much pressure on you. I just thought you would like it.”
“Oh...” Jordan stared at the pin in the box, her heart feeling strange again.
“Is it all right? Do you like it?” Copia was nervous again.
“Yes.” Jordan nodded. “I just don’t know what to say... Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
Jordan kept staring at the shimmering stones before Copia cleared his throat to make her look at him.
“It’s getting late, Miss Clarke.” he noted the clock on the wall. “Do you have a way home tonight? I don’t want you walking home drunk.”
“I am not drunk.” she scoffed. “If I was drunk, you’d know. Ask Liz about the time I shouted down a club bouncer when he tried to kick us out. Scared him so much he let us stay.”
“That sounds like something you would do normally.” Copia joked.
“Okay, yes,” Jordan conceded with a laugh. “But this was worse. You had to be there.”
“Well, regardless,” Copia continued, amused. “I would like to give you a ride home, if you’ll allow me.” Jordan opened her mouth to protest, but he cut her off. “Consider it my actual Valentine’s Day gift to you.”
Jordan glared at him. When he didn’t back down, she let out a dramatic sigh.
“Fine.” she agreed, grabbing her bag and putting on her shoes. “But just because I’ve had a few drinks. No other reason.”
“When will you accept rides from me without some kind of condition attached to it?” Copia asked.
“When I’m dead and buried.” Jordan grumbled. She pulled on her coat and grabbed a few of the additional wine bottles and shoved them into Copia’s arms.
“And take this. Wine turns me into a fucking idiot and it keeps making my heart feel weird.”