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“hyung, how does the moon look tonight?”
namjoon stood in the doorway of he and yoongi’s bedroom with his hand resting on the frame. he could hear his husband shift from where he was probably sitting at the desk. namjoon heard the familiar sound of the chair rolling across the floor.
yoongi was probably used to this question by now. it was the same question he had been asked so many times before, yet he always took his time to give an accurate answer. namjoon loved that yoongi always took his requests like this seriously.
namjoon had always loved the moon, even since he and yoongi were kids, and he would point out shapes in the stars that yoongi pretended to see just to appease him. namjoon smiled at the memory.
“i don’t know what it looks like tonight,” he suddenly heard yoongi say. “it’s supposed to be full tonight, right?”
namjoon hummed at this, confirming yoongi’s question. He rocked back and forth on his toes, excited to hear about what the full moon looked like tonight.
“let’s go see it,” yoongi said, and namjoon could hear him step across the bedroom closer to him. yoongi’s hand found his own, and the older man led him through their apartment and towards the balcony.
yoongi pushed the door open and the pair stepped into the cool night air. namjoon took a deep breath of the cold as yoongi stayed silent for a moment. namjoon figured he was studying the moon and smiled to himself. their hands were still connected between them, and namjoon ran his thumb gently across the back of yoongi’s hand.
“the moon is big tonight. it’s definitely a full moon,” yoongi said suddenly. “it’s bright too. more than usual.”
namjoon smiled, tilting his head up towards the sky.
“is it beautiful?” he asked.
yoongi hummed. “it is.”
namjoon smiled at that answer. “thanks hyung. it must be so nice.”
namjoon squeezed his boyfriend’s hand a bit tighter as he looked up at a sky he couldn’t even see, his eyes searching for something they’d never find.
“what about the stars, hyung?” namjoon said quietly. “can you see them tonight, too?”
yoongi squeezed namjoon’s hand and stayed quiet for a moment before answering. “yeah, i can see them. the sky’s clear tonight. there’s so many of them and they’re really bright. they cover the whole sky like little lights.”
namjoon smiled at the description. “they always reminded me of you,” namjoon said quietly. “the stars.”
“what do you mean?” yoongi asked.
namjoon smiled, letting go of yoongi’s hand and wrapping his arm around the man’s waist instead, keeping him close.
“because they’re pretty. so are you.”
yoongi quickly hid his face against namjoon’s shoulder and groaned. “that’s so cheesy, joon-ah, seriously.”
the younger of the two just laughed to himself.
it was quiet for a while longer and yoongi shifted slightly, pressing an unexpected kiss to namjoon’s cheek. “ready to go inside?”
namjoon frowned. “just one more minute?” he asked.
“of course, baby.”
namjoon’s heart swelled and he turned to yoongi, kissing the top of his head. yoongi hummed at that as namjoo tilted his head up towards the sky once again, focusing on imagining the moon and stars within the emptiness he saw.
he didn’t realize he was even crying until his husband’s hands were suddenly there, wiping away the tears with the pads of his thumbs. “joon-ah,” he said softly. “what’s wrong?”
namjoon startled at first, then sniffled, taking a minute to collect his thoughts.
“sorry, hyung.” he kept his head up towards the sky. “it’s just that- sometimes i wish i was the moon,” he mumbled. “it sounds silly, but if i was the moon i would be able see you looking at me. just one last time, you know?”
yoongi quickly circled his arms around namjoon’s waist. “hey, it’s okay, joon,” yoongi spoke quietly to him. “you don’t have to see me to know i’m always going to be right here.”
namjoon shook his head and smiled sadly. “i know, hyung. i’m sorry.”
“don’t be sorry, baby.” yoongi wiped more of the wetness from namjoon’s face. “let’s go inside, okay?”
“okay,” namjoon agreed quietly. he followed yoongi back inside and didn’t leave his side all the way to their bedroom.
namjoon wasn’t crying anymore, and he felt embarrassed about it. he assumed that yoongi was probably used to him having nights like these, though. nights where he was a little more sad than usual.
“can we get ready for bed, Hyung?” namjoon asked quietly, and yoongi agreed. they washed their faces and brushed their teeth side by side in their tiny bathroom before changing into their pajamas.
namjoon pretended not to notice the fact that yoongi pulled a shirt to sleep in out of one of his drawers instead of his own. he knew yoongi liked wearing his clothes, and he smiled softly as he changed.
yoongi left the room for a moment, coming back in quietly and clicking their door shut. “your cane is by the bed for the morning okay?” yoongi told him, and namjoon just smiled.
“thanks hyung.”
yoongi always made sure his cane was by the bed for him every morning, knowing namjoon was a bit too groggy after waking up to find his away around completely on his own.
Then yoongi was suddenly in front of him, cupping his face in his hands. the shorter man leaned up to kiss him, and namjoon’s heart swelled, kissing back immediately. they kissed for a while, holding each other close in the middle of their bedroom, only focused on one another.
when the kiss broke, namjoon smiled and yoongi leaned up to kiss him one more time. “let’s sleep joon -ah.” namjoon listened to his husband shuffle across the floor and could tell when he flicked off the lights, everything becoming darker than usual.
they climbed into bed together, yoongi curling up into namjoon’s side as usual. his fist closed around the fabric of namjoon’s shirt, right over his heart. namjoon was grateful to always be able to feel his husband’s presence at night.
“g’night joonie,” yoongi mumbled against his side. “i love you.”
“i love you too,” namjoon replied softly. yoof i hummed and shifted slightly until he was comfy.
namjoon listened to yoongi’s breath quietly even out as he fell asleep. his heart swelled and he leaned to press a soft kiss to the top of his head.
he couldn’t see yoongi, just as he couldn’t see the moon, but that didn’t make the man any less beautiful to namjoon. yoongi was right. namjoon didn’t need to see the man to know he was there. he never did, even when he was still able to see.
so he just held him as his thoughts became fuzzier and more soft around the edges. he drifted off to sleep peacefully knowing that the moon and the stars were still there, hanging over them in the sky and watching them as they slept.