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The school has been weird the entire day. He didn’t need to be good at sniffing things like Gonpachiro for his nose to be drowned in the smell of chocolate. He didn’t need to have Monitsu’s super sensitive hearing to hear the stupid buzz-buzz of all the extras from the other classes. He knows that they’re talking about him, plotting behind his back to attack him with stuff. And he doesn’t need to have Kanao’s super vision to--
“So when it’s Tanjiro and Zenitsu you can’t be bothered with names. But when it’s Kanao you get it right 100% of the time, huh.”
Inosuke snorts. “Shut up, Mohawk! What are you doing here in my hiding place, anyway?”
They’re at the roof, which is Inosuke’s super secret place. Only the Kamabokos, Monitsu, the Misty-Headed Twins, Tiny Flame-Head (Flame-Head-sensei’s little brother), Kanao, and Kanao’s angry friend with pigtails knew where it was. And also Mohawk, but Inosuke thinks that this guy followed him so he can beat him up while his guard is down.
“It’s Genya. Fuck’s sake,” Mohawk complains. His bento is all neat and girly, as usual. Shinaga--Shinozu-- fuck it , Maths-sensei probably made one for him again. “And I told you, I’m not gonna beat you up. I’m hiding out too, since things get so messy on Valentine’s day.”
“What the hell’s Valentine’s Day?” Inosuke asks through a bite of a rice ball.
Mohawk looks at him in disbelief. “What? Seriously?” When Inosuke continues to glare at him for an explanation, he sighs and mutters something that sounded like what was I expecting. “Dude, it’s a holiday for girls to give shit to guys they like. Y’know, chocolates, hearts and all that. How do you not know about this.”
“ Ehh?? That’s stupid!” And wrong! Did they expect Inosuke to believe that they were going to offer him chocolate because they liked him? Obviously the chocolate is bait and the buzzing is people plotting to gang up on him, just to beat him up! Inosuke’s strong and everyone knows it, so everyone’s just that determined to take the title of the strongest!
Mohawk disagrees for most part, not having the energy to answer all that, but he does agree on one thing. “Yeah, it is pretty stupid,” he mutters. “Lots of people are bound for disappointment today. Plus there’s always pressure on the girls to give gifts to guys, and for guys to receive something. This entire holiday is a scam.”
Mohawk’s just a weakling who doesn’t know what to do with himself when it comes to girls. Inosuke tells him as much, and Mohawk appreciates the comment enough to pummel him into the ground as he always does.
Still, who can believe a stupid holiday like that?! If he liked someone, he definitely won’t wait around for an entire year just to tell someone while everyone else is doing the exact same thing. Plus what kinda guy would like chocolates? They’re sweet, they look like poop, they’re girly and soft and mushy and not crunchy like tempura, which is the best food in the world no questions asked.
Anyways, just anyone try to give him chocolates today! Just anyone try and tell him that they like him! He’s gonna yell and say stupid stuff and make them regret--
“Hey, Inosuke,” Kanao says, placing a pink plastic thing over his desk. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Inosuke chokes on his spit. “Kanao, what’s this?!”
“Um. Chocolate?” she answers, an uneasy waver in her voice.
Angry Pigtails scowls and tosses a similar plastic thing over his desk. “ Giri chocolate,” she emphasizes. “Don’t get your hopes up.”
Angry Pigtails drags Kanao towards the other guys at the back. When they’re out of earshot, Inosuke turns to the guy laughing at him. “Oi Monitsu, what’s giri chocolate?”
“It’s Zenitsu,” Monitsu grumbles, “And it’s literally that--cheap chocolate given out of obligation. It doesn’t mean anything.”
“I don’t get it! Make it make sense!”
“Would it kill you to quiet down?” The blonde rubs his ear irately. “It just means that the girls see you as a friend and they did it to be nice! Lord knows they have to be, to tolerate your boorish ways--”
“Hah? That’s stupid!” Inosuke screams again. Monitsu looks close to slapping him on the face with their math notebook. “If it’s cheap chocolate, then does that mean there’s better chocolate?! Why didn’t they give that to me?!”
The other boy scowls at him bitterly. “What, is that pile of honmei chocolates from the cute girls from the other classes not good enough for you?”
Inosuke looks at him blankly as he shovels the other bigger chocolates in his mouthhole. Okay, so some chocolates taste nice, even though they look like poop. “You don’t have any?”
Monitsu mutters some things that don’t sound nice before saying, “I can’t believe the bad taste of those girls… and I can’t believe you more for being so shameless after rejecting them!”
“Eh? I don’t even know who they were.” Besides, it’s hard enough for Inosuke to get the names of his friends right. He isn’t going to waste his time on people he doesn’t care about. A little fancy chocolate won’t make him change his mind that easily.
“Of course you don’t.” Here he makes an annoying face, much like a squirrel who hoarded more acorns than him. Inosuke kind of wants to punch him for that. “I guess even honmei chocolates don’t mean anything unless it’s from a person you care about. Like me and Nezuko-chan! See, she gave me this to show her feelings for me~”
He brandishes a box of chocolate milk with a proud little wiggle of his yellow eyebrows. Inosuke grabs it and takes a huge slurp from it before he could whine.
“You greedy boar! You stupid, greedy--” Monitsu cries, only managing to take back the chocolate milk when it was halfway gone. For a guy who keeps complaining about how loud he was, he was pretty loud too. “This is why you’re gonna get crappy convenience store chocolate from her forever! I mean it!”
Inosuke twitches at that, and immediately wonders why he would feel so pissed about it. Why would he care if Kanao gave him tiny chocolates instead of big chocolates on Valentine’s Day? It’s not like he even liked chocolate or anything--
“Wha-- are you serious?! You don’t even know why--” If it’s possible for this guy to look more annoyed, he’d look like one of the carp banners they made that one time for art class. “It’s a good thing you’re too stupid to figure things out by yourself! Stay single forever!”
Inosuke is about to yell something back, like of course I’m single, there’s only one of me, idiot, idiot, but then Flame-Head-sensei comes in with a booming laugh and gathers them ‘round for another story about old dead people fighting each other a hundred years ago.
He likes this teacher, and he likes this class. It’s probably the only class where Inosuke tries to actually listen. But Monitsu’s stupid words made him feel weird and itchy and won’t leave him alone.
And so, when classes ended, Inosuke does what he usually does when there’s something he can’t figure out. He goes to Kentaro for help.
“It’s Tanjiro,” Gonpachiro sighs. He’s calm, even though Inosuke had dragged him out to the yard in mild panic. “Anyway, what is it? Did you and Genya fight again? I told you not to challenge him. Himejima-sensei makes the entire archery tree throw trees in the yard as strength training, you know.”
Inosuke, not one for good lengthy explanations, shoves the little pink bag of chocolates in his hands. “There!” he yells.
The usual calm in Monjiro’s eyes is gone in a snap. “W-wait. Inosuke? A-are you--”
The other boy’s face suddenly gets as red as a lobster before Inosuke can say another word. Why though? He’s just showing him the cheap chocolates that Kanao gave him, so he can tell Inosuke why it feels weird!
“Ah. So you mean. These aren’t for…” He sighs, presses a palm against face. “Inosuke, you shouldn’t just put chocolate in people’s hands like this on Valentine’s Day! You almost gave me a heart attack!”
“Eh? Why?” Now there’s heart attacks?! There’s a lot to this stupid holiday that Inosuke doesn’t understand, apparently.
“Forget about it.” Tontaro shakes his head so that it’s back to its natural color. “So Kanao gave you chocolates, huh? That’s nice of her--”
“It is nice of her!” Inosuke growls, stomping around and flailing his arms. “Suuuper nice! I don’t understand it!”
“I don’t understand you, either!” Momotarou puts his hands on his shoulders when the people around them start to edge away cautiously. When Inosuke stops thrashing around, he takes a deep breath and asks, “What about it is bothering you? Is it because it’s Kanao? Or because you were expecting something different?”
He wasn’t expecting anything today if he was being honest. He didn’t even know it was a special day today. It wouldn’t have mattered if Inosuke didn’t know there was a difference between tiny chocolates and big chocolates, but there was, and now it feels weird knowing that Kanao could have given him big chocolates instead of tiny chocolates like she did.
“Mm.” There’s an odd shine to the other boy’s eyes as he listens to Inosuke’s rant. “So you wanted her to give you big chocolates?”
“Well--yeah! Big chocolates are good! I got a bunch of them here, you want some Monjirou?”
He wavers a bit. “I’ll pass. But you have lots of honmei chocolates, after all, so I don’t see why you’re so mad that she didn’t give you some.”
“I know! But then I talked to Monitsu! He said these don’t count!” Inosuke screams. “I dunno who these people are! Why can’t someone I like give me big chocolates!”
“Wait--Inosuke,” Soujirou gasps. “Does that mean you like… uh--”
“Kanao? Yeah, I like her.”
Why is he even asking that, and why does he look like he swallowed something bitter? “I see. Er. I didn’t know that,” he replies, rubbing his neck lamely.
Inosuke blinks in confusion. “Why didn’t you?! I thought it was obvious? Next you’re gonna tell me that you didn’t know that I liked you, too!”
“--wait, what?!”
“Monjirou what the heck! Why are you so dumb!” He’s so dumb he can’t stop himself from stomping and flailing his arms in frustration. “What’s with that face! Did you think that I didn’t like you or something?”
The red is back in his face. Inosuke can tell that he’s doing the thing where he’s counting his breaths to keep calm. “Wait. When you mean like--” He pauses, sighs again. “Okay. So when you said you liked Kanao… it was the same way you liked me.”
“... well, yeah? What else?”
“As friends,” he confirms, red eyes looking at him so intensely Inosuke feels the itch on his skin. “Not… in a different way?”
He frowns. “Make some sense, Gonpachiro! Like what?”
For once, he doesn’t correct him. “You know,” he murmurs, embarrassed out of nowhere. “Like… you want to go out with her. And… hold her hand, stuff like that.”
Inosuke scratches his head in confusion. “Yeah, that doesn’t sound bad.”
He didn’t really think about it, but going out with her to eat somewhere nice doesn’t sound bad. And he guesses he has to hold her hand, because she looks like she gets lost easily.
But at this, the other boy actually falters, and Inosuke doesn’t like how weird and hurt his face started to look then. Before he can stop himself, he blurts out, “It’s the same for you too, you know!”
“The same--”
“Yeah!” And just to demonstrate, Inosuke reaches out for Gonpachi… no, Tanjiro’s hand and squeezes it hard, just so he gets it. “There, see?! I like you! Don’t be stupid about it! Why is your face so red! ”
“Because!” is all Tanjiro can say with his hand in Inosuke’s, the other desperately trying to cover up his face. Doesn’t do much to hide his giant forehead though, so anyone can see how it looks like the top half of a tomato. “You just said you liked me! And you’re holding my hand! And you’re so loud about it, so--”
He stops right there, slowly uncovering his red face so that Inosuke sees his nose twitching. At around the same time, Inosuke feels something tickle his right shoulder, the way it does when someone’s looking at him curiously.
True enough, Kanao’s a few feet away from them, face just as pink as Tanjiro’s. “Um. Hi,” she says bashfully. “Tanjiro, I’m here. But I can go back, if you’re busy--”
She’s hiding something behind her back that Inosuke can’t see. It feels big though, and fluffy like there’s giant ribbons around it. The way Tanjiro’s nose twitches again, and the little glance he gives Inosuke tells him enough.
Big Chocolates! Was it for him?! But she’s looking at Tanjirou, and their hands, and then her face is doing that weird thing that Tanjirou’s was doing when he said he liked her--
What was up with these two?! Don’t they know that liking two people is better than liking just one?! Those chocolates were big too, really big! It won’t be enough for Inosuke, but it should be fine to share! It’ll be enough for the three of them!
So Inosuke yells at the sky for liking two very dumb people before stomping over to Kanao and reaching for her hand. It’s not easy because she’s strong--Inosuke felt that somehow, she almost punched him out of reflex--but in no time Inosuke’s two hands are occupied with two other hands.
“Ah--”
“There! Like this!” Inosuke declares, looking at them both. “I like you two! More than those stupid big chocolates I got all day! If you two don’t know it yet, we should go out now so you know!”
Great, now both of them are red and embarrassed. Why would they look like that? They should be happy that Inosuke likes them! Anybody would be lucky to be chosen by him, right?
“I don’t really get it,” Kanao finally mutters, “But… I guess this isn’t bad.”
Finally, someone gets it!
Tanjirou sputters a lot hearing that. “It’s--you’re okay with this, Kanao?!”
“Um… I think I am,” she says, carefully. “I mean. I’ll do a c-coin flip, just to be sure. But--”
“No--you decided on your own? That’s great!” Tanjiro smiles, suddenly looking a lot better than he did before. “Actually, this is okay for me too. This solves a lot of my other problems too, so…”
Inosuke grumbles. “And people call me dumb! You two are worse than me since you didn’t figure this out sooner!”
Tanjiro finally laughs. It’s nothing new--creased eyes, big smile, the tinge of pink over the suntanned skin of his round cheeks--but up close, right next to him while holding his hand, Inosuke’s chest suddenly feels all tight and weird, like something kicked him there and then punched him, but instead of feeling beat up, it feels nice and warm.
He hasn’t recovered fully from that when Kanao giggles beside him. This is a little new, because Kanao doesn’t really do much apart from smiling quietly. Maybe that’s why Inosuke can’t look away from the scrunch of her nose and the way her pink mouth parts to show off white teeth. There’s another itch at his chest, like there’s bubbles or something wanting to burst from it, and all Inosuke can do is to squeeze his hands tight to keep it from doing so.
Gosh--this feels weird. Maybe he doesn’t know what he’s in for.
“Um… well, the three of us have some stuff to talk about,” Tanjiro says, after the laughter dies down. “Do you want to come to the bakery with me? There’s chocolate cake enough for the three of us.”
“‘Kay,” Kanao says with a smile. “Um. We can share this too,” she says, bringing out the box she was hiding. Inosuke was right about it being Big Chocolate. “If it’s okay with you two. I mean.”
Just as Tanjiro agrees, Inosuke starts screaming “Big chocolate for meeeee!” and it gets him another round of laughter that makes his ears clap.
And so they walk the long way to the Kamado Bakery, with both his hands warm and fluffy and his future filled with nice chocolate. Take that, Monitsu!