Chapter Text
Barbara Gordon dodged the kick sent her way by one half of a two piece horse costume, somehow managing to balance two full mugs of coffee in her hands. She sent a look at the uniforms who were dragging him to the holding cell, resisting the urge to smirk when only one of them was able to look her in the eyes.
But as soon as she turned her attention back to the bullpen, the possibility of a smirk faded entirely. The bull pen was pure chaos, as uniforms and some unlucky detectives were trying to get everyone processed and either released or put into holding.
God, she hated Halloween.
She walked over to Tim’s desk and set one of the mugs down next to the detectives head resting on a pile of folders. As if in a fevered dream, Tim’s hand came up and groped around until he was able to wrap his fingers around the handle. Only then did he raise his head up off the desk and brought the hot mug to his lips. He had to drain half the mug before lifting his head any further.
“Babs, you’re my hero.”
She grinned across the aisle at him as Dick looked ridiculously hurt.
“I thought I was your hero, Timmy”
“You don’t bring me coffee.”
“Yes, I have!”
At that, Tim sat up fully, spinning his chair around to face him more fully.
“You brought me coffee as a bribe, Dick. A bribe that wound up with me almost getting shot.”
Even Jason had been impressed by that case, a murder from fifty years ago that had been reopened when a DNA match from a genealogy website had come up in their database. Five days, seventeen coffees, and two shootouts later, the murderer had been caught, though not before almost killing Tim with a shot that most career criminals couldn’t have made, let alone a seventy year-old man.
Just then, Stephanie walked past, wearing a short black wig, a black suit, and –
“Brown, did you really dress up like me for Halloween?” The look on Bruce’s face would have made most lesser men back away in fear. But Steph just grinned at him.
“I was going to come as a fireman, but Kon wouldn’t lend me his suit. So, I went with my plan C.”
Bruce looked too afraid to ask what her Plan B was.
Jason had no such compunctions.
“What was your Plan B?”
Somehow, Steph’s grin grew even wider.
“The eggplant emoji.”
The dead look in Bruce’s eyes was nothing new, though rarely it showed up so early in the workday.
“Well then, Miss Brown, I appreciate you sparring us from that sexual harassment seminar.” Sarge’s voice was stern, but the look on his face was definitely one of amusement.
“Seriously, Hal, that’s what we should’ve been!” Guy hit his best friend in the shoulder, knocking out of his seat and causing him to fall onto the floor.
“Seriously man?”
“What, you’re trying to tell me you couldn’t pull off a peach emoji?”
Hal paused to think about it, his forehead scrunched a little in concentration.
“Wait, what are you two dressed as?” Cass leaned over in her chair to get a better look at the two detectives, as Guy turned to glare at the speaker. Neither man was in a costume per-say, though both wore green shirts that were dyed to look like leaves.
“For your information, Gordon, we’re sexy trees.”
“I can see the tree, but not the sexy aspect.” Jason leaned against Tim’s desk, ignoring the shorter man’s glare.
“We are the sexy aspect,” Guy gestured at himself and Hal wildly, “Just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean others won’t.”
Jason opened his mouth to respond, only to find himself being kicked in the chest by the other half of the horse costume.
In that moment, several things happened at once, almost as if in slow motion. As Jason fell backwards, arms wind-milling wildly, he knocked the mug of coffee out of Tim’s hands and onto the tile. Cass was rising out of her seat and the two uniformed officers whom the horse escaped from were running forward, straight into the spilled coffee.
Tim’s cry of “MY COFFEE” seemed to echo off the walls.
The two officers fell in a pile, while Tim shoved Jason off of him and onto the floor and the uniforms. The escapee was running for the stairs, but Cass got to him first. In less than a moment, she had knocked him face first into the floor and was holding his arms behind him with one hand as she pulled out her cuffs.
Steph was practically cackling as she turned back to Bruce, only to find him hitting his head against the door frame of his office.
“Briefing room, NOW. Cass, take him to holding, then join us.” The slight woman nodded at the captain as she pulled the costumed man to his feet.
As the detectives of the ninety-ninth precinct made their way over to the briefing room, Dick turned to grin at Barbara.
“I guess you could say that guy was a real horse’s ass.”
Despite herself, Barbara laughed.