Work Text:
“you’re biting on your nails again.”
taehyun jumped a bit on his seat, turning to stare at the voice’s owner. choi beomgyu. his heart skipped a beat when his eyes met the older’s, deep down wanting to avert from them. but he couldn’t, those eyes were always so captivating and welcoming, he’d stare at them forever if he could. “sorry. i guess i’m anxious.”
“don’t apologize, i understand”, the other said with his sweet, low tone. his hand came closer to taehyun’s now lowered fist and he wished beomgyu would hold it. but they were inside the radio club room, with everyone else getting ready for the broadcast in a few minutes.
too many witnesses, they thought at the same, communicating by sharing silent glares. they both were close but not as close as they wanted, and they knew that regardless of what they wanted, they couldn’t get too intimate right now. shouldn’t. because they were too far from each other in their perspective, but for others, they were about to cross a line of what was normal and what was seen as weird, for two boys.
so, instead of taking his hand on his own, he carefully bruised his pinky onto the back of taehyun’s hand. “you’ll do great. don’t think much about it.”
“that’s easy for you to say, sunbae. you do this for over a year now but it’s my first time.”
beomgyu visibly tried not to frown at the honorific choice and the formality in his tone. it was polite but too foreign for him and didn’t like that. but it wasn’t like taehyun could be as casual as he usually was. too many witnesses. too many ears. “there’s a first for everything. i once had my first broadcast too, and i understand the nervousness before the show. i still get some of it after all this time, too.”
“no way.”
“yes way! every time i’m alone in the booth, it hits me. it’s just less intense, but it’s nothing to worry too much”, he assured with a smile. “you’ll do great, taehyun-ah. trust hyung.”
the pinky was still caressing his skin, but now it was also shyly interlacing with some of the younger’s fingers as well. god, how much he wanted to be held by the other, have his hair petted, have his lips on his own--
“taehyun-ah! five minutes!”, they heard one of the girls in charge of the audio remind him. they immediately moved away from each other because, oh right, they’re still around many people.
people who wouldn’t think twice before start whispering things about them, who were already observing the scene with crooked glares. taehyun hated how much aware of everything he was. “thank you, sunbae. i’ll get ready”, he nodded to the girl, moving towards the booth. but not before giving beomgyu a look.
he didn’t have to turn around to know the other had understood.
“i told you would do well”, beomgyu said in between kisses, breath a little off. they were still in the club classroom, giving the others a dumb excuse none of them remembered now so that they could be alone.
the younger had his arms around the other’s neck, sitting on his lap as both were on a chair at the corner of the room. not exactly the ideal place to kiss your boyfriend senseless, but it was what they could do. if someone got in they could hide fast before getting seen, and it wasn’t a room many had access either way. it was safe.
taehyun giggled at those words. “well, of course. i learnt from the best.”
“no, you didn’t”, he refuted. “i didn’t teach you anything, you’re good with words and have a clear pronunciation.”
“i didn’t say that you are the best.”
that earned him a pout, beomgyu looked at him as he was a beaten up puppy. he was so exaggerating his expression and it made taehyun laugh more.
“oh no, did i hurt your feelings?”, he said casually in a teasing tone. “sorry, hyung-ah.”
immediately, the older smirked at him. “i love when you call me hyung-ah.”
“i know, hyung-ah”, he said informally with a quiet tone as he moved closer, claiming his lips once again. beomgyu didn’t take his time to hold the younger’s hip tighter, kissing him fervently. taehyun left a whine at that, to which he took as his cue to deepen the kiss. he let him, one of his hands moving to his boyfriend’s blond hair and resting it there.
they stayed like that for a while, lips on each other’s lips, until beomgyu decided to attack the younger’s neck, lowering his collar. it obviously made taehyun react, leaving a satisfied moan.
he had missed this intimacy, and he was sure that his boyfriend did too. they were both closeted and too afraid of the reaction of the outside world. they didn’t even have the courage to hold hands outside that room, and sometimes not even inside it, when there was a companion with the couple. they didn’t dare to go to each other’s houses too much because they both had a couple of siblings and it would be suspicious for them to ‘study’ together considering they were in different years. and even when they did hang out at the other’s place, they would be always too afraid to do more than some cuddling, hiding their entranced hands, and maybe sharing some small kisses here and there.
no, they didn’t have many places where they felt safe to show how much they loved each other, and they could only text and share looks every day, praying for an opportunity to be together like this.
to be able to touch him and tell him all that he feels without fear.
“hyung”, he said quietly, catching the other’s attention back to his face. “i love you, hyung. i love you a lot, i love you so much.”
beomgyu smiled at him, giving a quick peck on his lips and then resting his forehead on the younger’s. “i love you too.”
“i wish i could tell you that every day. every time. i love you, love you, love you.”
the older took a quiet breath at that, smiling at him, but not his usual bright one. it was a sad one. “i wish so too. but even if i can’t, never forget that i love you so much. the most. i love you, kang taehyun.”
“and i love you, choi beomgyu”, taehyun told him, cupping his cheek and kissing him once again.
he hated that he couldn’t be like this whenever he wanted, whenever they wanted. but once no one was looking at the two of them, they would try not to think about it and enjoy each other’s presence.