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“Can we stay like this forever?”
There was a low chuckle from the body Tony was pressed tightly against. Beneath him, the hard cushions of the lounge chair began to make his side ache, the cool metal of the arms seeping through his thick jacket, all of little notice when compared to the sight above him and the sensation of Stephen next to him.
They were on the balcony of his penthouse, the noise of the city muted with a simple spell from Stephen until it felt like they were the only two people in the world. Above them the night sky hung heavy with breathtaking brilliance. There was a power outage, not due to anything special but even the generators were hard pressed to keep up with the demand and for once…for once New York was almost dark.
The light pollution was forgotten in the face of the star’s natural light twinkling above them, almost but not quite as blinding as the two times Tony had been in space previously. This experience was lightyears more comfortable.
“Not likely,” Stephen rumbled, chest echoing the sound beneath Tony’s cheek. “But we probably have another hour.”
Tony sighed, tilted his head up toward Stephen, wanting to see his face. It was difficult in the low light, but he thought he saw the stars reflected in the blue of his eyes, expression watching the above sky with a sort of detached interest. Pursing his lips, Tony let his curiosity get the better of him, a strange sort of bitterness stinging his chest.
“You’ve probably seen much prettier things in all those other dimensions I bet,” he patted at Stephen’s chest. “dragons and auroras and funky trees like in Dr. Seuss or maybe actual hobbits? Those were based off a real thing, right? What about goblins or bigfoot?”
“Tony.” Stephen tone was undeniably exasperated, a trembling hand coming up to run through the strands of his hair, tugging lightly. “What are you talking about?”
He shrugged. Didn’t have words to explain his mind’s inability to comprehend all the things Stephen must see every day, so much more beautiful than the stars above their head, more exciting then their long dreary existence. Stephen had an intense mind, one that was always curious and critical and searching, almost a match for Tony’s. It was difficult to believe, most days, that he held anything of value to keep him here, at his side, quiet and content.
“Nothing,” he murmured, nuzzling at Stephen’s throat in an attempt to coax the man into relenting. Pressed soft lips to thin skin there, smiled at the breathy sound his lover made in response. But of course, he would have no such luck. A dog with a bone was what Pepper affectionately claimed, two peas in a pod in that regard.
“No, Tony,” his voice was softer at least. “What was with the tone? What did you mean to say?”
He knew if he looked up just then it would be to find Stephen’s piercing eyes reading his every expression, dipping into his soul with disturbing ease, figuring out all his secrets and insecurities. Which just wasn’t fair, not when Stephen was so good at wearing a mask, at being untouchable. So, he opted for something else, for a way to ask what he wanted to ask without saying exactly, what lay heavy on his mind most nights.
“Would you ever want to live in any of those millions of dimensions you’ve been too?” It was asked flippantly, like all the other hypothetical questions Tony might ask, but this one mattered. This one wasn’t would you ever wear a blindfold while we have sex or would you ever use the stone to erase an embarrassing memory…no, this was too fragile, too scary to say so plainly.
This was; how much do you love me? Will you stay? Can I, inadequate as the world might be, ever be enough to keep you here? Do you know how happy you make me? Will you dare to make a promise you can’t keep?
“Tony.”
His name, spoken with unexpected reverence, made Tony look up. The sight that met him was entrancing, blazing eyes looking into his with a determination and love that stole his breath and made his fingers clench in the fabric of Stephen’s shirt. The intensity of the look wasn’t a surprise exactly, it had been levelled on him before, usually as he orgasmed or in the adrenalin after a difficult battle, but this, now, in the context of a serene night and high emotion was…a lot to handle.
“I love you.”
The words were quiet. A declaration that didn’t need to be shoved and yelled and pushed into the air between them. Simply stated with the calm assurance of a man so completely taken by another that it made Tony’s heart stutter to a stop. It was impossible not to believe them, impossible for Tony not to feel embarrassed for his momentary lapse in faith that of course Stephen wouldn’t leave, still loved him.
“I’m happy. I’m not going anywhere.”
It never ceased to amaze Tony how Stephen knew just what to say. A smirk slid onto the man’s lips, as though knowing his thoughts and leaned down to press a soft, sensual kiss against Tony’s. It was unhurried, pleasant, reaffirming.
“Hate how you can just do that,” Tony muttered afterward, slightly dazed.
“No, you don’t,” Stephen replied, confident as ever.
There was a heavy pause then, Stephen’s hand stilling where it remained tangled in Tony’s hair. He waited patiently, not certain why Stephen would hesitate now, only to feel his stomach drop when the words finally did come.
“You know, most of what I see…its not very pretty at all Tony. Those other worlds…dimensions, even the ones that look like this one, they feel wrong, twisted, sickly. They aren’t home…no matter how much they pretend to be.”
“I’m sorry,”
“Don’t be. Just know that this…us, is irreplaceable to me. Nothing comes close to this life here. Nothing.”
Tony tightened his arms around Stephen, seemingly holding the other man now, but just like always but it was really just them holding each other, grounding each other, loving each other. It quite suddenly, felt like more then enough.