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The first thing that registers is light. After being trapped in the coffin (even for such a short amount of time), light seems harsh against his eyes. Squinting them open slightly and fluttering his lashes, Jin Guangyao finds that the light is actually harsh. Too bright and sharp against his senses, exaggerating the dull painful thud in his head. The next thing that registers is the smell . Sharp as poison and burning his eyes slightly. Soft shuffling draws his attention to the occupied chair beside his bed. I’m in a bed? Everything is too painful. The white walls and ceiling, acrid smell, and too bright lights all amplify each other to make that dull thud turn into a stabbing pain behind his eyes.
He blinks against the gathering wetness in his eyes and looks around. A clean room, sparse furniture, strange aparati. A black case of some sort leaned against the wall, a short robe of some sort hung up on the back of the door, a pair of grey slippers beside the door. Curious….. And intensely unfamiliar. He can feel himself tensing already, even if it makes his joints ache. How long have I been laying in bed? Jin Guangyao lifts his head briefly to look himself over. A thin white (scratchy) blanket lays over his body, his arms resting over it where he can see. His skin is pale, speckled with familiar freckles here and there. Is this… my body? Turning his wrist over confirms that, yes, this is his body, the familiar triangle of freckles on his inner right wrist is still there.
A flash of black hair to his side draws his attention over, leaving his arm laying limp at his side. A familiar face…. His heart aches. A gentle face with darker skin than he is familiar with but oh he’d recognize him anywhere. Even with silky black hair braided and pulled over his shoulder, even with strange large pieces of glass over his eyes (not quite a monocle but serving a similar purpose, he would guess). Lan Xichen, Lan Xichen, Xichen . His heart sings to see the Lan sect leader again. Even…. Even considering how their last time together ended last time. Even considering the frown on his Er-ge’s face as he reads something now. Those warm brown eyes draw up to him when his hand twitches and a smile blooms across that beautiful face.
“A-Yao!” even exclamations in Xichen’s voice are so soft and careful; “A-Yao, you’re awake! Oh my gosh oh my gosh, oh my god you’re awake.” The older man fumbles over himself to stand and drops whatever artifact he is holding. Large, elegant, warm hands take his own cold hand and squeeze it. “Oh thank goodness, we were so worried! How do you feel, oh, I should go tell the doctor-”
“Er-ge.” Guangyao’s voice is hoarse from disuse and whatever else he can only assume happened before he woke up here. I clearly missed something… That smile returns to the Lan’s face but it’s tinged with sadness and regret.
“A-Yao…. How do you feel? I’ll, ah, I’ll calm down.” Xichen adjusts the glass on his face and smiles rather shyly down at him, though he suspects the man is more overwhelmed than shy.
“Head hurts….” he admits, which surprisingly seems to placate the other man. Honesty, it seems, was the best approach for once. He was expecting you to lie his mind reminds him much to his dismay. He’d rather his moment stay sweet.
“Yeah, I’m sure it does.” A good natured snort escapes those perfect thin lips as Xichen squeezes his hand again; “Do you… Do you remember anything?” Well…. He can’t be completely honest this time, sadly. He suspects the truth that he died and woke up here would alarm the man. Instead, he shakes his head no. “Oh, A-Yao…. That’s okay.” The pity in the Lan sect leader’s voice stings but that is smoothed by the small nod and smile the other offers. “You’re in the hospital, you were in an accident. You’ve…. You’ve been here a while.” Accident? What kind of accident? His brow scrunches as he thinks.
“Accident?” he asks.
“A car accident. Your car was totaled but, haha, well you’ve been wanting to get a new one ....” The laugh Xichen lets out is breathy and half-hearted. Whatever a car is, Jin Guangyao decides he probably doesn’t want to be around one again if this is how whatever this accident made him feel. “You….” the older man falters for a moment and gives his hand a much more firm squeeze, though Jin Guangyao can’t tell if it’s more for Xichen or himself; “You had a really bad head injury, you’ve been asleep so long…”
“Sorry to keep you waiting.” His polite response is automatic but the smile is genuine, if a bit weak. Xichen stares at him wide-eyed for a moment before laughing clear and bright.
“A,A-Yao doesn’t have to apologize, I’m just happy you’re awake. You’re here and you’re okay. And I’m here!” The other man wiggles forward in his seat to be closer.
“Can I have some water?” as loathe as he is to let Lan Xichen leave his side, he doesn’t see any jugs of water in the room and his throat is going to shred if he doesn’t drink something soon.
“Oh! Oh yes, of course! Just a moment, I’ll be right back, Baobei.” As predicted, the older man separates from him to leave the room. B-baobei???? Baobei. The word echoes in Jin Guangyao’s mind as he stares at the ceiling. Never in his entire life did the Lan sect leader refer to him so extremely intimately, never did the leader let Meng Yao as close as he wanted to be… Are they that close here? Who was this A-Yao before me? What did he do right? What was the other A-Yao like? How did he endear this soft version of the Lan Sect leader so much that they’re presumably courting?
Xichen returns momentarily with a strange see-through bottle of some kind, glass perhaps? It looks too thin to be glass. Guangyao takes a moment to calm his racing thoughts, being frantic won’t help me here . He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, noting how the other man stops beside his bed to wait until he opens them again. The bottle is offered, then removed as the Lan thinks better of it, then it is offered again once the top is removed. He gratefully takes it, pausing the moment those fingers brush his face.
“ Don’t tell the doctor I’m doing this.” Xichen says in a conspiratorial tone as he removes a strange clear mask from the lower part of the younger man’s face; “We’ll put it back on once you’ve had enough water.” He nods dumbly in response. Sure. They can do whatever Xichen wants right now. He takes a few long swigs of water after which the other puts the mask back on his face. It’s easier to breathe with this thing on . If he’s hurt, this must be a clinic of some kind. That explains the strange sterile atmosphere at least.
“When can we go home?” He doesn’t want to be here. It hurts and being in a clinic means Xichen will likely have to leave at some point. The older man smiles at him and chuckles.
“We’ll have to ask the doctor. Take a few more minutes to get your bearings, then I’ll go find her.” Doctor? Similar to a healer then, if he’s in her care in a clinic. A female healer, presumably somewhere large and prestigious based on the size and distant noise. Impressive. He tenses when warm fingers brush his hair back behind his ear. “Oh! Oh, sorry, sorry, your head hurts, I know.” Xichen lowers his hand to gently squeeze his shoulder.
“It’s okay, er-ge. You didn’t mean to.” Jin Guangyao says easily. It’s okay. After the suffering he put the Lan leader through, he could stab him and it would be okay. The mild discomfort of his sensitive head being touched right now is minor compared to that. That hand gives him another squeeze and, torturously, lingers there .
“What’s the last thing you remember, A-Yao?” asks the other as he hoists himself up to sit on the bed beside him. Oh . He fights down his words and allows his brow to furrow as he thinks. Oh, you know, I was trapped in a stone coffin with the fierce corpse version of my once sworn brother whom I murdered . Yeah. Right. What is he supposed to say? The worry on Xichen’s face increases tenfold as he thinks, orders of magnitude until a wave of sadness crests in those perfect brown eyes and he sighs. “Nothing?” he asks, voice fragile and soft as a butterfly’s wing.
“I’m sorry, er-ge.” he shakes his head. Sorry for disappointing him again.
“Oh! No no, don’t apologize, A-Yao, it’s okay. It’s nothing you should apologize for.” this Xichen’s voice shakes more easily, still as open and honest as his own Xichen but more sensitive; “A-Yao has done nothing wrong. Perhaps er-ge should go seek an apology from that cur who hit you….” that is unfamiliar. The barely concealed rage in the other’s voice is not like anything Jin Guangyao has ever heard before. His Xichen was always so restrained and calm but the use of cur is as severe as any curse from the Lan, the threat of ‘seeking an apology’ as good as a threat of violence. He’s protective over you. Lan Xichen is getting protective over him.
“Leave it to me.” Jin Guangyao’s mind snaps alert, spine instantly turning to stoney ice. Nie Mingjue . Their da-ge stands in the doorway, the same severe expression and oppressive aura in this world as in the last. He’s nearly the same, no strange glass or different skin tone, instead the bottom side of his hair is shorn close to the head, leaving the top layer of the scalp longer. He’s alive?.... I didn’t ruin everything here…. There’s another few moments of tension, lasting several heavy thuds of his heart before Xichen draws Jin Guangyao into his arms. He pulls the smaller man closer and presses his head to rest on his chest, the calm beating of his strong heart immediately relaxing to the younger man. “Didn’t know he woke up.”
“He just did a few minutes ago. Da-ge, relax a bit, you’re scaring him.” Xichen runs a comforting hand down the youngest’s back, rubbing gentle circles in the small of his back; “It’s okay, A-Yao, Da-ge was just worried.” Jin Guangyao allows the incredibly intimate gesture of comfort from Xichen to embolden him and gently grabs onto his clothing. “Sshh, it’s okay.” An arm wrapped around his er-ge garners no reaction other than fervent comforting from the Lan.
“Does he know what happened?” Nie Mingjue drops his own case thing beside the one that was already against the wall as he approaches, crossing his bare arms over his chest.
“I told him the basics. Just that he was in a crash and that he had a head injury.” Xichen says softer, probably to keep the conversation between the other two. That’s fine. The youngest closes his eyes and lets himself be lulled by the sound of a steady heartbeat.
“ Has a head injury, until the doc says otherwise. I’ll bring by his stuff tomorrow.” The eldest stops at the edge of the bed, still a sizable distance from Jin Guangyao (much to his relief); “Everything okay? You look ....” Nie Mingjue (presumably) makes some face that Jin Guangyao cannot see, but he’s perfectly fine with that.
“Thank you, I…” One of Xichen’s hands draws up to A-Yao’s head and gently pets at his hair as the second eldest lowers his voice; “I think A-Yao’s memory has been affected… He doesn’t remember what happened right before the accident.”
“Shit…. We’ll….. I’ll tell the doctor.” That gruff voice drops low to match.
“Yes, can, can you go get her?”
“Yeah, I’ll be right back.” Nie Mingjue’s heavy footsteps retreat back towards the door. Jin Guangyao waits until he’s gone to open his eyes again. They know I could hear them right?....
“Er-ge.” he calls.
“Mn? Everything’s okay, A-Yao. Er-ge is here.” another soothing stroke down his back.
This world is strange, Jin Guangyao decides. It’s loud and quite busy, especially when one is outside. Not even the Carp Tower was this loud at its busiest…. He decides he likes even less that Lan Xichen has to leave him some days, either leaving him with nothing to do or alone with Nie Mingjue. The reasonable part of his brain tells him that this Nie Mingjue isn’t going to hurt him, he doesn’t even shout . The less reasonable part of his brain replays every horrific moment he himself caused during his last life. Luckily, both of them are there when he is allowed to leave.
Nie Mingjue disappears to who knows where right after. While he’s mostly relieved, Jin Guangyao is reluctant to admit that seeing the man leave makes him somewhat… sad? He’ll figure that out later in the privacy of their own home (which Xichen has taken the liberty to tell him every detail about, perhaps looking for some spark of recognition that never came). The second eldest keeps his hand on him the entire time, especially when they’re leaving the building. The sunlight is quite forgiving compared to the harsh hospital lights, at least, and despite the smog in the air, Jin Guangyao is thankful for the refreshing breeze.
“Does A-Yao want to eat at home or would he rather we stop somewhere to pick something up?” Lan Xichen asks as he leads the youngest to (what he has deduced is) a car, where Nie Mingjue is already sitting in the front waiting for them. The idea of being in one again after whatever crash the last A-Yao had been in makes him tense, which clearly er-ge notices as he helps him into the car. There’s only a moment of consideration before the second eldest circles around the car and gets in the back seat with him, smiling gently. “I’m going to sit with A-Yao back here, da-ge, don’t mind me.”
“I want to go home….I’m very tired.” Jin Guangyao makes his voice soft and fragile sounding to play into his current state. As predicted, the Lan man melts under it and gives him a surprisingly solemn nod.
“I’ll make something at home for us then.” Xichen says in return, taking a moment to adjust his glasses.
“Alright, well, relax back there. Tell me if we need to stop.” This Nie Mingjue is softer, not made of hard, sharp edges like the Nie Mingjue he killed. Everyone in the world is softer, it seems. He nods simply back and leans into Xichen when the second eldest wraps an arm around him, as he has been doing for the past few days. Gentle fingers trace nonsensical patterns between his shoulder blades as Jin Guangyao lets his eyes flutter closed.
At home, Xichen helps him inside and lays him out on what appears to be a divan, though it is piled high with colorful plush blankets and fluffy pillows. With a tut and something in another language, er-ge rearranges the pillows so the youngest is lying comfortably on them then finds the softest blanket they have to lay over him. I wonder if he would have doted on me if I was not a coward in my past life…. Practically lying in a nest, the youngest allows himself to comfortably doze for a while, distantly aware of the others moving around their home (apartment).
“Hey, gunna move ya for a second.” Nie Mingjue tries, in vain, to speak softly. It still makes Guangyao’s head smart. So does the (somewhat rough) way da-ge lifts him up and lets his head rest on his lap when he sits down properly. “Is your head still hurting?”
“Mn.” Guangyao nods slightly, not bothering to open his eyes. Being this close… Isn’t it dangerous? He startles when fingers draw through his hair, but forces himself to relax. I have a part to play… Their A-Yao was this close with them. At least Da-ge’s fingers are gentle as they brush his hair back from his face and find the base of his head. The eldest digs his thumb in too hard at first, but the second press has the younger man melting into the pillows. A massage. Da-ge is just giving me a massage… He doesn’t bother to wonder how the other man knows how to do this, just letting him continue until the ever present pounding in his head has dulled into an easily ignorable thrum. “Thank you, da-ge.”
“Course.” a curt answer, but Jin Guangyao easily catches the relaxed and warm tone behind it. The downright affectionate tone. “We missed you…” Wow it must tear at Da-ge’s soul to admit such a thing. He thinks before his mind replies back. They were worried for you .
“You saw me almost every day.” the youngest replies as easily as he can, finally opening his eyes to look at the other. Whatever the light on the ceiling is has been kept low, giving the apartment a warm aura, softening his da-ge’s features to almost look relaxed. Isn’t this what I wanted? For them to care about me, for da-ge to actually care? This isn’t his da-ge though. The eldest appears to be rolling the words around in his brain to figure out what to say in response. This da-ge is still freakishly tall - taller than the da-ge where he’s from, he thinks, considering this one has to tilt his head down to make eye contact with Lan Xichen - to the point that Jin Guangyao thinks it may just be ingrained in his being to loom over people. This da-ge’s wide frame is still cut from hard muscle, but he has a layer of bulky fat over it that gives him an even wider frame than the original. It must be from how they exercise…
“‘S not the same. The apartment was real empty without you around.” The eldest finally chooses his words and frowns once he’s said them, clearly not satisfied with what he said; “Missed you climbing into our bed at night.” Well that wasn’t how Guangyao expected this conversation to go. He looks up at the other man with an eyebrow quirked and he swears he feels the atmosphere near the kitchen go tense and dark where Xichen is cooking. “Erm… I mean.” da-ge huffs, frustrated suddenly. Jin Guangyao would curl up to protect himself if he wasn’t genuinely curious how this disaster of a man would continue his line of thought. “You’d come lay down with us when you’d have a nightmare. Which… was a lot.” Well, I'm definitely going to still have nightmares… He isn’t brazen enough to just climb into Xichen’s bed though. Not even with permission.
“Only if you want to, A-Yao.” Xichen’s voice comes silky smooth with a hint of threat; “ Da-ge means no pressure.”
“Yeah! Yeah, I was just… mentioning it. Because I miss it.” The eldest is trying so hard to be genuine, he can tell.
“I know, I know.” Guangyao replies, hopefully as casually as he tries for, while rolling over to face the kitchen, head still in the eldest’s lap. It works, he thinks. Da-ge’s hand resumes it’s gentle ministrations and Xichen hums a response as he does whatever it is he’s focused on.
“I’m making A-Yao’s favorite tonight, but it might take a little longer than usual.” Xichen warns.
“Okay…. Thank you, er-ge.” Hopefully this A-Yao likes the same food I do .
“Of course, anything for our baobei.” Xichen’s words are casual in contrast to the shiver they drive down the youngest’s spine.
“Xichen?” Nie Mingjue calls as he stands in the living room, staring at their currently occupied couch. Didn’t we talk about this? Meng Yao lays on their couch, buried under the multitude of blankets and pillows Xichen keeps hoarded there for impromptu cuddle sessions. The couch is more than big enough for him to sit down but… Does didi really need to sleep out here all the time!? Isn’t his bed more comfortable than their couch? Quieter?
“Hmmm?” that silken voice flows from down the hall.
“Didn’t we talk about letting didi sleep on the couch?” he calls.
“Yes, we did.” For such a soft voice, Xichen’s flows easily through their apartment. Watching the soft scrunch between the youngest’s brows, Mingjue decides that, no, this isn’t the place to have his conversation. As much as he doesn’t want the youngest sleeping on their couch, he isn’t about to wake him up. After taking a moment to draw the blanket back up A-Yao’s tiny shoulders and pressing a kiss to the top of his head, da-ge heads to the only door with light peeking underneath. He nudges open the door and steps into the bathroom, pausing when he finds Xichen sitting there, naked , hair pulled over his shoulder as he wrings the water out of it.
“We agreed to stop letting him sleep on the couch so much.” it takes everything Nie Mingjue has to remain somewhat angry. Xichen is right there , naked , and staring up at him through his lashes (Mingjue knows he’s just squinting to be able to see though).
“The living room is warmer than his room.” Xichen shrugs. Really, always making excuses for A-Yao… Er-ge moves back to rinsing off, humming softly.
“He has blankets.”
“Da-ge, please.” the exasperated sigh Xichen gives him sounds genuine enough, especially with the way the other man looks up at him fully now; “He’s hurting, he doesn’t remember anything, maybe he just wants to be .” The Lan stands up and turns to walk over to the already filled tub. Will finally broken, Nie Mingjue lets his eyes drift down the curve of his boyfriend’s back to linger on his backside. “Come, join me. The water feels nice.”
“Showered this morning.” he responds despite already starting to remove his clothes. Who is he to say no to Lan Xichen? Normally he’d bend to the other man’s whim and also wash up before getting in but this should be fine. He climbs in behind the younger man and settles down, letting him lay back on him. “....He’s different now, you know.” Nie Mingjue voices the thought that’s been bothering him, frowning slightly.
“....Yeah.” Xichen hesitates to respond; “I noticed… He flinches when you are loud. He seems tense… I thought it was because you’re…. A lot but, I think, I think it’s his memory…”
“Maybe a nightmare stuck with him. You know how he gets.” They both know, Meng Yao was always susceptible to nightmares, and apparently still is. Waking up in the middle of the night from a nightmare, only later into their relationship did their youngest start to come to either of their rooms to sleep with them. On particularly bad nights, they would be privy to the fitful sleep and waking fear the youngest experienced all too frequently. Rarely rational but always bone chilling, latching on to A-Yao’s mind and driving him to self consciousness and fear. For a man so resilient in negotiation, A-Yao has always been so fragile…
“I can talk to him about it. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.” Lan Xichen continues as he closes his eyes; “He’s stickier than he used to be, but he doesn’t talk as much.. I hope he knows he can talk to us…”
“I’m sure things will be fine. He’s always been a mousey one. Just needs you to take the lead, like always.” Nie Mingjue attempts to calm the other’s worries, pausing when Xichen laughs.
“Mousey? Only when you’re around, only compared to you! He’s quite forward with me usually.” Xichen teases, not pointing out the way Mingjue’s hand slides up his thigh; “Da-ge’s presence is very overwhelming, afterall.” The eldest tries to pretend to be upset with that, to huff and stop his hand, but Xichen chooses that moment to turn his head and draw him in for a gentle kiss. “Everything is okay. A-Yao is okay.”
“....I shoulda driven him that day.” He lowers his face into the sweet flesh of Lan Xichen’s neck, nestling his nose there; “Wouldn’t’ve gotten hurt then….”
“You couldn’t have known, da-ge.” the smaller man pulls away slightly to turn more towards him; “None of us could have known. That's, that’s just life.” Despite dragging water across his cheek, the hand that cups his face is comforting, a thumb swiping across the cheekbone.
“He told us that morning that it seemed like it’d be a bad day. Didn’t think it’d be that bad.” Nie Mingjue leans into the touch.
“I’m glad you were able to get to the hospital before me. Thank you for that.”
“Don’t need to thank me, I was gonna go anyways. Didn’t know he wouldn’t’ve woken up for so long…” He would have been there more, but one of them needed to keep going to work consistently, and it was easier for Xichen to close the bakery than for him to take leave. Hell, he might’ve gone crazy if he was stuck in that room for so long. Xichen’s at least good at waiting, patient and good at keeping focus on something even when worried.
“Don’t you always scold A-Yao about overthinking?” Xichen tuts as he leans closer, an easy smile plastered on his face.
This world is strange, he thinks again. He spent most of the first few days he could walk following Xichen around, partially to learn about the various strange contraptions and intricacies of this world, and partially simply to be in the other man’s presence. Imagine his shock when the clothes he found were so thin and tight! How did the other version of him wear clothing like this!? Most everything he saw in his room suited him, the style, the decorations, even the strange things he did not recognize resonated with him somehow, but there were a few things around that confused him. He still likes them but they clearly don’t belong.
Tucked in with his clothing are a few shirts that were clearly too big for him, all too big for Xichen too, which lead to the horrifying realization that he took da-ge’s shirts before. Was he too afraid to return them? Did he never have the opportunity? Both seemed… Well, from what he’d seen, neither were the answer, perhaps he just had them to wear them? They smelled like the rest of his clothes, nothing like the perfumes that Mingjue likes to wear. Imagine his horror when he was sitting at the table one day, simply reading, and glanced up to see Xichen bend down in his tight yoga pants to get something out of the bottom of the fridge.
Da-ge isn’t much better in terms of clothing. He rarely wears sleeves (unless he is going to work), which… is odd? Why bother even putting on a shirt if one isn’t going to cover their arms? He often wore “workout clothes” which were usually light and revealed entirely too much to the eye. He’d seen the man wearing shorts far too often (though sometimes paired with some skintight leggings of some kind that covered the skin at least, but highlighted the tight muscle of his legs). He feels like his sanity is being torn out of his hands. He doesn’t know how they sleep, he can’t imagine they sleep in the same modest robes people do where he is from though.
His one chance to witness that seems to be tonight. He woke with a start earlier, choking on nothing as phantom hands linger around his neck like an intangible vice. Laying in bed, he takes deep breaths and stares up at the ceiling, eyes tracing unfamiliar patterns through the odd texture. Despite being in this world still, his heart will not calm. It will not stop beating and fighting against the cage of his ribs no matter how much he tries to calm himself. You’d come lay down with us when you’d have a nightmare , Nie Mingjue’s voice here is so calm as it replays in his mind. Only if you want to . The offer… still stands, right? They wouldn’t rescind it, right? What if they share a room?
He draws himself up shakily, arms barely holding under his weight as he forces himself to his feet. Foregoing the brown fuzzy slippers tucked at the edge of his bed, Jin Guangyao braves the cold hardwood floors of the hallway and living room barefoot. He’d have to find his way around the furniture if it didn’t seem like everything was set up to be easily avoided. Most of the decorations hang on the wall opposite of their bedroom doors, table on the opposite side as well. He gropes at Xichen’s door first, easily identified by the gentle cloud sign. A knock, then another, he resigns himself to trudging to Nie Mingjue’s room. That isn’t the one from home. This is okay. This is safe. He can’t deny the small comfort climbing in the bed with this da-ge would bring him. He’d be safe.
“Da-ge?” he calls into the door, ears perked. There’s a soft grunt and the sound of two people moving in the bed. Why… Why are they both in here together?
“What?” The familiar irritated tone almost sends him back to his own room, too familiar to the one he’d dreamed about for so long now.
“....I had a nightmare, may I come in?” he says, a bit louder now as the other two move again.
“Yeah, come in here.” Da-ge’s voice settles down, smoothed by the grogginess of sleep. He opens the door and enters, pausing to let his eyes adjust. The room is…. Surprisingly clean? Xichen probably organizes, as he seems to always clean when he’s stressed. It’s easy enough to feel his way to the bed, only bumping into a few things on the way there. But, then he hesitates. Is… Is this really okay? If they’re together in bed like this, can he really bother them?
Da-ge reaches an arm out and hoists him up into the middle of the bed. Did the other A-Yao always stop at the edge of the bed? He wonders what this A-Yao’s past was like as he settles in between the two warm bodies in bed with him. Xichen is, thankfully, still asleep, hugging a pillow to his chest. The bed is thankfully warm as he slips under the blankets, pausing when his cold foot brushes the back of Nie Mingjue’s thigh.
“Get comfy.” the warrior says as he turns back over to finally face him and settles down; “Xichen might latch onto you while yer asleep.”
“That’s fine…” he closes his eyes and tries to ignore the way the bed creaks as Nie Mingjue finally scoots closer.
“Bad nightmare?” the eldest asks.
“Yeah. I’m fine though.” He has to be fine. That’s just part of who he is. Unaffected, aloof, and strong.
“It’s okay not to be. You know that right?” Da-ge’s statement draws him to open his eyes again, staring at each other; “It’s okay to not be okay.”
“.... I have to be. Er-ge and da-ge need me to be… We’ve been through too much.” He hasn’t been here long, but, well, this has been a lot.
“I’m not always strong and Xichen isn’t always the reasonable one. It’s nice to be, we need to be, but sometimes even we stumble. It’s okay for you to stumble.” When did Nie Mingjue, the incredibly strong brute, become so mature?
“Mn… We’ll see in the morning.” he says with a note of finality as he closes his eyes again. Da-ge snorts and lays an arm over Jin Guangyao.