Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Wait! Please! Don’t go!! They- they’ll kill me please! Don’t leave me here!”

“I- I’m sorry! I can’t! I- I I don't know!”

“WAIT PLEASE, PLEASE!”

Just like that he ran off. Leaving the poor boy on his own.

“COME BACK PLEASE! SAVE ME!” the poor boy sobbing hysterically. “Aw come on we won’t do anything bad, we promise.” “You just need to learn to use that mouth on other things than yelling.” Like that in many hours, Todoroki lost his voice, innocence and sanity. 

Eyes busted open. Tears falling down, his breathing got heavier and heavier until he realized where he was. He was home, in his bed. How does he still have tears from crying everyday over the same nightmare. The nightmare that took everything from him, he doesn’t know what to do anymore but cry and cry and cry. There’s a knock at his door. His sister Fuyumi came in as she did every single morning. 

“Good morning Shouto, did you sleep well?” she signed after putting the tray down on his night stand. 

All she got back was a shake of his head. “Nightmares again?” a nod this time. “I hope that gets better soon, Shouto..” She took a cup of different pills and water and handed it to him. This happened every single day. Pills. Pills. Pills . Orange ones, brown, peach, yellow… blue? Blue was a new one. His sister seemed to have noticed his confusion and signed “Ah. Well those are your new ones, we had to restock them since you… used them all last month..”  Ah, that’s right, he chugged all of them last month. That attempt became a failure after his brother found him in the bathroom.

“Oh! Mother’s going to water the garden today since it’s such a beautiful day out. If you want to, you don’t have to, you know, you can check them out!” Shouto knew she was trying to change the topic and he was kinda grateful for that. “Well I have to get to work now ok? I’ll see you later when I get back, have a great day Shouto. I love you ok?” she signed her goodbyes and smiled when she got an I love you too back. 

So Shouto’s morning was getting started. His routine every single day, each family member came to his room to say their good mornings, goodbyes and have a nice days. First his sister came, then his brother Touya, his brother Natsuo, his father then lastly his mother. Though he usually met his mother in the kitchen making breakfast in the mornings. 

He got out of bed and went to his drawers and got a new set of clothing. Underwear, shorts, leggings, sweatpants, long sleeves and lastly an oversized pullover sweater. What he wore every single day since that happened. He went to the bathroom and stripped all his clothing off. He hated looking at himself in the mirror. He hated how many bandaids he wore, how skinny he was, how pale he is. Everytime he looked in the mirror he saw his past self from many years ago. He got into the shower, the hottest setting in the shower, hopefully the hands will melt away. 

Scrub, scrub, scrub harder they’ll go away. You’ll be happy . 

He scrubbed hard until his skin turned red and started to sting. That’s when he knew he had to get out. He got dressed in his layers of clothing. 

He went downstairs and heard dishes being put around in the kitchen. He met with his mother and she was happy to see him this morning. “Good morning Shouto! Look how nice it is outside! The flowers are in bloom” she said happily. “You didn’t eat last night so please eat today, I cut you some fruits you like.” She set a plate of fruits in front of him. Strawberries, peaches and honeydew, they truly were his favorite fruits. His mother always had such perfect fruit, juicy, just the right texture and colors. Taking a few bites he didn’t realize how hungry he really was. He tapped the plate with his fork loudly to get his mother’s attention which worked. 

“I heard your garden is looking nice today,, can I go see them?” he signed. His mother’s response was so bright, her smile, the sparkles in her eyes.

“Yes! Of course!! Please visit!” “You can even pick out new flowers for the garden! Oh would you please do that Shouto? I’d love to have your favorite flowers in the garden!” she smiled happily once again. So the duo walked to the backyard doors. Once she opened the door the nice spring sun brightly walked in the home. The sun warmly embracing him. Just as she said it was a nice day out, the garden looked so bright and colorful. They looked around, his mother talking about what flowers were what and when she waters them. Suddenly the fence door opened and Shouto flinched behind his mother. 

“Oh! Bakugou! I didn’t think you would come so early!” Bakugou? Who’s that? His mother noticed his anxiety and turned around with a caring smile, “Shouto this is Bakugou, he’s been helping me with the garden for a while now. Ever since they kept delivering the seeds to the wrong home he kept bringing them to me and decided to help out!” While? Like months while? And he’s never seen him before? His mother continued on the introduction, “Bakugou this is my son Shouto I talked about! He decided to take a visit to our garden!” Bakugou looked at him up and down.

“Hey. Mrs. Todoroki I’m gonna go check on the marigolds.” “Ah yes ok!” She turned around to Shouto again, “I’m not going to force a friendship on you but he’s a nice kid,,, just with a colorful vocabulary ha ha,,” “Well I’ll let you back inside to look up some flowers you may like ok?” Shouto nodded and headed back inside. 

Once in his room he realized he doesn’t have a phone to look things but so he’ll have to go back downstairs and ask his mom to use her computer. Once again he goes back downstairs, into the kitchen and notices Bakugou getting glasses of water. Bakugou notices his footsteps and stops, he sees Todoroki. “Oh hey I was just getting water for your mom and I, so don’t think i’m stealing or something.” No response. “Hello?” No response, just a nod. “Not a talker huh?” Todoroki nervously finds a piece of paper and a pencil on the island and started writing. “I’m looking for my mom, is she still in the garden?” Bakugou read the paper and before he said anything else Todoroki’s mother walked in. 

“Oh! Hello, I was looking for you Bakugou,, I thought you got lost ha ha,,” “Do you need something Shouto?” Shouto quickly signed “I wanted to ask if I can use your computer to search up the flowers?” “Oh right of course go ahead!” With that Shouto was off.

“He’s not much of talker huh?” question Bakugou. “Yeah he just stopped…talking one day. Well we should get back to our garden then right?” “By our I mean yours and mine, it’s been yours since you decided to help me out” she said with a smile. This caused Bakugou to smile back shyly. “Yeah.”

❁———❁

Shouto walked into his mom’s study. He looked around until he saw a calendar, he flipped through it and there were dates circled every month. These dates stood out to Shouto because he knew what happened actually on those days. His attempts at ending his life. He actually felt terrible his mom had this calendar but he didn’t know what to do. Putting the calendar back down he traveled to the computer and opened up a browser. Do they still talk about him or what happened? He looked up his name and multiple stories, news and even hashtags popped up. 

#JusticeforShouto was the tag. 

He clicked on it and it took him to multiple stories of people talking about what happened to them similar to Shouto and using the hashtag. Why were they still talking about him? A headline caught his attention, “Justice for Shouto, victims speak out, found the perpetrators. Shocking news!” What? They found them? After all this time? Why did it take years upon years, prayers after prayers, cry after cries, touches after touches to finally find them. Why did it take so long?

Yet this new story, it took about a month for them to find the perpetrators when a girl cried for help. Why did she get so lucky yet he cried for the same thing? He cried for years, losing hope, losing his sanity and got out in three years. But this girl got out in a month. It wasn’t fair. Tears started falling down, breathing started going faster. 1 2 3 breathe in 4 5 6 breathe out. Repeat. The door started to open and Shouto quickly closed out the window. 1 2 3 breathe in 4 5 he can’t breathe out. He can’t do it. He’s counting he can’t do it. 

The door opened to reveal a blonde set of hair. He was hearing something but it sounded so blurry. He can’t breathe help.  

“Hey? Hey!” There was a set of hands pressing on his back, calmly patting his back, rubbing, counting for him. He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it . 

“Hey you’re going through a panic attack, look at me and breathe in and breathe out when i say to ok?” Shouto made unrecognizable noises of panic. 

1 2 3 4 5 breathe in yes good 6 7 8 9 10 breathe out great, repeat. 

His vision started getting clearer, his breathing calming down. After he calmed down he still felt his hands on his back. He hated it. He pushed the hands away from him and started making unrecognized noises once again. 

Bakugou noticed how scared Shouto was so he put his hands up. “It’s ok, it’s ok it’s me Bakugou I help with the garden with your mom.” Shouto looked at him and realized it was Bakugou. 

“Your mother will probably come in here from me taking too long to come back, and you’ll probably don’t want her to worry about this panic attack right?” He received a nod. “Ok you’ll tell her that you found flowers ok?” A nod again. 

“You’ll tell her you found Amaryllises, Calla Lily and Freesias ok?” Why those? How did he know those so fast? Then a figure walked into the study. “Shouto? Bakugou? Are you alright?” “Ah yes we are, I was telling him about the garden he uh asked.” “Oh really? What did you find Shouto?” She smiled. “I- I found Freesias, Calla Lilies” “And”  He looked at Bakugou.  Oh how do you spell it? “Um”  “He also found Amaryllises.” said Bakugou for him. “Oh! You found a lot, how nice!” “Well Bakugou and I will try to look for those at dinner!” Dinner? He’s staying for dinner?

❁———❁

“Oh! Bakugou it’s good to see you again! Are you staying for dinner again?” Again? This wasn’t the first time? When has he stopped eating at dinner? He didn’t even notice a new person joined in at the dinner table.

Conversations started at dinner, about Fuyumi’s students, Touya opening up a new tattoo shop, Natsuo’s god awful essay which Fuyumi needs to be correct  again .

“So mom is the garden healthy today? I bet Bakugou helped a lot.” “Bakugou always helps out immensely! The garden is so beautiful because of him!” his mother said.

“Also Shouto found some more flowers we could put in our garden!! Ahhh,, what were they called,,? Amara-“

“Amaryllis, Calla Lily and Freesias.” said Bakugou. “That’s right! You know JSL Bakugou?” “Ah, no um he asked which ones he should get, by typing on the notepad on the computer,,” “Ah how nice then!”

Dinner continued on and ending with Shouto’s plate being the only one still full. Of course he noticed the sad glances each family member gave him, he just couldn’t do it. Bakugou left after helping out clean and saying his goodbyes.

“Thank you for having me over again Mrs. Todoroki” he says bowing. “Oh! Don’t worry about it, you're always a pleasure when you come here! Have a goodnight!” and before he left he took a quick glance at Shouto and waved goodbye. 

    ❁———❁

“Fuyumi can I borrow your laptop for a second?” Shouto signed. “Oh sure! One second” When Shouto was given the laptop he bowed and made a beeline straight to his room. 

Browser opened, google search, flower languages . Many websites popped up but he clicked the first. A whole list of hundreds of different kinds were listed but Shouto wanted to find three specific ones. 

Amaryllis

Flower Meaning:

This flower is symbolic of splendid beauty. It is also used to indicate worth beyond beauty.

Calla Lily

Flower Meaning:

This flower symbolizes magnificence and beauty. White Calla lilies combine these two attributes with purity and innocence associated with the color white to make it the perfect choice of flower in a Wedding bouquet.

Beauty? Purity and innocence?

Lastly,

Freesia

Flower Meaning:

This flower symbolizes innocence and thoughtfulness.

Innocence again? Funny.

Why these though? Did it have something to do with him or he just thought it randomly? Thinking about it more made him feel warm inside and he didn’t know what it was.   

Chapter Text

It was the same routine everyday, wake up by the bright sun, Fuyumi coming into his room, pills, pills, pills, will he take anything else besides pills? Have his siblings and father tell him goodbye. Then he goes to find new sets of clothes. 

Hot water on his skin, scrub harder, they’ll go away I promise you, keep scrubbing.

He finally went downstairs to say hello to his mother but heard her talking to someone. Did Touya stay longer to talk to her, maybe Dad did? Once he made it to the kitchen he saw a head of blonde hair. 

His mother was the first to notice him. “Ah! Shouto, Good Morning, I cut you some fruits again” a nod came back as a reply. He sat down on the island and was served the same fruits as yesterday. While his daydreaming was ruined by someone speaking.

“Don’t you think you should give him something more,, fattening?” “I do at dinner time but he doesn’t eat,” Were they talking about him? He’s sorry he doesn’t eat it’s just difficult, he’s hungry yeah but he can’t eat, he doesn’t want to. “Oh Shouto! Bakugou and I found the flowers you suggested, they were pretty difficult to find but they’re coming in!” She said as she clapped her hands together. He nodded as a response and glanced at Bakugou and realized he was staring back at him. He feels hot.

“Well I have to pick up some things, Shouto do you mind if Bakugou says here with you?” A shake of his head. “Ok! I’ll try not to be long!” He felt nervous staying with him, does nervousness cause overheating?

When his mother left he felt uneasy, dizzy and hot. He decided to get up and his feet felt the cold floor. Maybe the cold floor would feel nice against his hot face. With that thought Shouto proceeded to lay against the cold floor forgetting he had company with him.

“What are you doing? Is this what you usually do when you’re alone?” questioned the blonde. “Hey, hello? Are you alive?” Shouto only responded with a noise. “The floor is dirty, you shouldn’t lay there.” Bakugou patted Shouto’s back and he didn’t like it . He froze in place from Bakugou’s touch, his breathing was starting to get quicker. 

Bakugou realized his uncomfort and called his mother in panic. Second ring she picked up. “Hello Bakugou, everything's all right?” “Um Todoroki started laying down on the floor and I patted his back to get him to get up and he looks like he’s gonna cry.” Bakugou said quickly, Rei heard a faint, ” It’s ok Todoroki just breathe in and out, remember to count slowly and breathe, 1 2 3 breathe in, good great.”

“He does that,, I think he’s running a fever, would you mind taking him to his room?” She replied back. “Yeah yeah sure”  “Oh and Bakugou” and yeah came back as a response, “Make sure you tell Shouto who you are at all times and most importantly you ask Shouto first before you do anything, if he says no it means no .” She harshly said the last words to him. They stopped the conversation after Bakugou suggested making soup for him.

“Ok Todoroki, you’re ok right? It’s me Bakugou” he got a noise in response. “I’m going to pick you up and bring you to your room because you probably have a fever, is that ok?” A nod in response this time. Bakugou picked him up by his armpits. He noticed Todoroki shaking. “It’s ok it’s just me Bakugou, I’m going to put you on my back so it’s easier for you to carry.” As always he got a nod in response. Gently putting Todoroki on his back he asked if he was ok and he felt a nod against his neck. He felt Todoroki’s heavy breathing against his neck. Let’s just say Bakugou is trying to ignore that and focus on the matters at hand.

After finding Todoroki’s room he looked around the room. It was almost a child’s room, there was a bookshelf that if Bakugou could see correctly it was a manga for little kids. Super Megatron? I haven’t read that in years. There was a corner filled with a box full of dinosaurs plushies and teddy bears. His walls were extremely empty though, as well as his desk. He doesn’t even have a few papers there?

After placing Todoroki down on his bed, mind you teddy bear bed sheets, what is he still a little kid. He touched Todoroki’s forehead and realized it got hotter. Well shit. Todoroki shifting on the bed trying to get comfortable, Bakugou realized he was wearing a sweater. No wonder he’s overheating. He was going to take off his sweater until he remembered Rei’s harsh instructions. 

“Hey. You have a serious fever and you’re overheating you have to take your sweater off” he got a noise and shake of the head response back. “Urgh, look I don’t know what’s up with you but you have to take it off now, or you’ll get extremely hot.” He grabbed at the end of Todoroki’s sweater and he knew he made a big mistake. Immediately Todoroki started screaming and crying. His screams were just unintelligible noises Bakugou couldn’t make out. Tears filled his eyes and he was clenching his sweater so close to his waist. 

“Shit, look I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you cry. I’m sorry, hey.” He tried to calm Todoroki down. “I’m going to pat your back okay? Please stop crying” Bakugou didn’t do well with crying people so he didn’t know what to do. After a while, Todoroki seemed to calm down and was just hiccupping, he brushed his tears away like a child would after going into their parent’s after having a bad dream. Was it bad to keep comparing him to a child? “Hey Todoroki, you have an overheating fever and you have to take off your clothing so you don’t die of overheating” Todoroki stared at him and moved in closer. Did he want something from him? Suddenly he felt arms around his waist and a head against his chest. Is he really hugging him right now? I swear to god if I get sick because of him i will-

He heard hiccups again. Shit he really is a kid. He hugged Todoroki back and they sat hugging for a little bit until he told Todoroki to take off his sweater again.

❁———❁

Coming back up to his bedroom, with a bowl of soup and cut apples, he set the tray of food down on Todoroki’s desk. “Hey wake up, I made you food.” He took Todoroki’s temperature and good thing it went down. After Todoroki took off his sweater, with Bakugou turning around to not see him, he found out Todoroki was wearing leggings underneath his sweatpants. No fucking wonder this kid had such high temperatures. “Hey wake up, the soup is gonna get cold and I made this for you so you better damn right eat it.” There was shifting in the bed and finally Todoroki woke up and sat up. Ppft his bed head hair looks crazy . Bakugou walked up and grabbed the tray of food from the desk and brought it to Todoroki on his lap. Todoroki looked up at him. “What it’s soup, if you’re judging it for how it looks before you even tasted it you’re an ass for that”

Then Todoroki picked up the spoon and brought it to his mouth. He never tasted anything this good before, when was the last time he stopped eating anything like this?

Todoroki was lying down on his bed once again, he wasn’t tired though. Where is Bakugou? On cue Bakugou entered the room, something in Todoroki’s stomach felt jittery. “Hey go back to sleep.” Todoroki did not want to sleep, he wanted to stay up to be with Bakugou. 

A shake of his head.

“What do you mean no? You’re sick.”

A shake again.

Todoroki opened his mouth but only cracked sounds of words came out. He looked at Bakugou’s confused face and he panicked. He looked around until he saw a notebook and pen on his dresser. He pointed to it and stared at Bakugou. That. Give it to me.

When he was given the notebook he started writing. Then he would pause, think again, erase and write again. Bakugou thought it was cute. 

Eventually Todoroki gave Bakugou the notebook and stared at him. If Bakugou was being honest his handwriting was pretty ok. The notebook said; How old are you? What grade are you in? Why do you work with Mom in the garden? 

Ok then. I’m getting questioned like I committed a crime. 

“I’m sixteen, I’m in highschool, 10th grade, and I help your mother with her garden because she warmly welcomed me to help her.”

“How about you?”

He handed the notebook back. Todoroki looked at him confused until he started writing again.

I’m fifteen, I don’t go to school and I don’t like going outside anymore.

Well ok then. This question game will be interesting.

After a few back and forth of a game of 100 questions, they learned a lot about each other, and well Todoroki learned a lot about Bakugou. Todoroki really didn’t have anything to say about himself like he forgot or something. 

One of Todoroki’s questions made Bakugou laugh. 

Do you have friends?  

Bakugou barked out a laugh and took out his phone. He scrolled through his camera roll until he found an album he made with his friends. He would never admit it out loud but his friends were his everything. He cherished them so greatly everytime they hung out he felt so unbelievably happy. He eventually found his favorite photo of all them. It was his birthday and all six of them took a photo after throwing birthday cake at each other. After the photo was taken, everyone talked about how big Bakugou’s smile was and damn it Bakugou wasn’t embarrassed. He smiled and laughed so much that night.

Bakugou showed Todoroki the photo and pointed at each of them explaining who they were.

“That’s Kirishima, we knew each other since, damn it feels like forever since we knew each other. He’s always been there for me through hard and good times. He’s always so cheerful and always puts everyone in a good mood.”

“That’s Mina, she was Kirishima’s neighbor, he introduced us and we hit it off immediately. She’s so bubbly and so energetic on anything. She dances too and does competitions. I remember when she won 1st place and we all had a small party for her. She always says that’s her favorite memory with all of us together.”

“Next, is Kaminari. He’s definitely an idiot but he knows when you’re feeling down. He’s always there to make you laugh even if it means that he has to get hurt. We always make jokes about him but he and we know that we don’t mean it. He also has a weird obsession with Pikachu.”

“Sero, we met last year in our freshman year. He’s like the mom friend, he always tries to calm us down when we’re too loud or usually makes up excuses for us when we get in trouble. He has a great laugh and honestly I don’t think he has a god awful laugh at all.”

“Lastly, that’s Jirou. She’s a total emo, she plays really any light music instrument but her favorite is the guitar. She’s president of the light music club actually. Her and team members are just amazing. I play in her band actually, I play the drums and of course I’m pretty great at it. Her girlfriend is the manager and she does amazing as well. They’ve won so many competitions so far, they have a youtube channel too with over 50k subscribers.”

“I wouldn’t trade them for the world.” Bakugou smiled.

The notebook was given back to him.

That’s your phone?

“Yeah? It’s the latest model I got for my birthday.”

I remember it being smaller and chunky.

“Huh. Yeah actually used to be like four years ago. Didn’t think you’d remember that.”

Four years ago and lower are my only best memories.

“Nothing this year or last year? Heck nothing two years ago?”

Todoroki started shaking. He didn’t want to remember those years. He hated them more than himself. He hated that it was him who was taken. Him. Why him? He could’ve been happy like Bakugou is right now. He regrets becoming friends with him-

“Hey! Are you ok? Do you want more fruits or something?”

He shook his head again.

If I get a phone could I be your friend?

“Ppft what.” Bakugou started to laugh then he saw the determination in Todoroki’s eye. “If it makes you happy, I guess then, don’t run your parents money though.”

An excited nod. 

He was going to have a friend!

“Alrighty then.” Bakugou gets up and stretches making a few bones pop. Which Todoroki cringed at. “It’s time for you to go back to bed alright.”

And back to bed he went.

❁———❁

“I’m back Bakugou!” Rei said when she entered the front door. “Ah Bakugou, how was Todoroki?” she said in a cold manner. 

Well shit no use lying to her.

“I’m sorry, Ms. Todoroki, I tried to make him take off his sweater since his temperature was increasing greatly and he started crying. I’m terribly sorry.” he bowed as an apology.

“It’s ok Bakugou, it was bound to happen, I just hope you cheered up him.” she patted his head. 

“Yeah I did he hugged me actually.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s a question I wanted to ask though.”

“Yes yes, help me with these bags please.”

❁———❁

“So something happened?”

“Well, we were asking questions back and forth and he would say I don’t, these weird things? Like he prefers four years ago and farther as his favorite memories”

“Ahh well. Um Bakugou, do you promise not to tell anyone about this.” she said nervously, she started to play with her fingers.

“Yeah, yeah of course.”

“I don’t know most of the story, he wouldn’t tell any of us. He’ll probably tell you when he’s ready, oh I don’t know.” 

“Four years ago, Todoroki turned eleven years old 2 months before everything happened. He was so happy, he thought he was the biggest boy in his class despite being the youngest in the class. One day he told us he was grown already and wanted to go to the park near our neighborhood with his friend. I shouldn’t- I’ve should’ve said no. I didn’t think- oh god.” she started crying hugging herself, she slouched over her knees hugging herself. 

“I didn’t think that was the last time I would see him. We noticed it was almost 6:30 and he still wasn’t home. We went looking for hours, it felt like years. We still had hope until, until- oh god - the little boy, his friend told us that Shouto was gone. That three men took him. Just hearing that my world ended. I broke down. I blamed everyone and everything known to man, I especially blamed myself for everything. I looked for weeks until they told me to stop. Shouto was taken from for three years. Those three years were so long. The house was so empty without him. His little feet stomping throughout the house, his laugh echoing, Touya would always chase him and tickle him just to hear that laugh.”

“Now he screams and cries everyday. He scrubs his skin so hard that I see the red marks everywhere. He doesn’t eat anymore, that calendar, that god frightening calendar, there’s too many dates, just too many attempts. He can’t talk anymore, he doesn’t even make eye contact with any of us anymore. Fuyumi tried hugging him once he screamed like he was in so much pain.”

She breathes in.

“We found him last year, Enji was on patrol for the police department. A disruption was reported to him by one of the residents who were neighbors around the area. He checked and soon enough after arguing and fighting, he found Shouto. Enji said Shouto was in a corner so beat up and he looked so small. Enji called the ambulance so quickly and called me. Of course I knew that Shouto wouldn’t be the same but I had just little hope. That smile could only be in my memories, the past, photos. I just- I don’t know” 

“I’m sorry for talking so much, I just haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this.” she wipes her eyes. 

“N-no it’s ok, you’ve been through so much, Todoroki been through so much.”

She nodded and continued on.

“When we finally got him back, he wouldn’t talk anymore, Fuyumi told me that his voice was weird, we took him to the hospital to only find out his vocal chords had been extremely damaged. We tried to homeschool him, well Fuyumi tried and Shouto couldn’t take it. He acts like a little kid because that’s the only thing he knows. He didn’t grow up with everyone else, he still remembers things from grade school. That’s why his room looks like a child’s room. We thought if we kept his room the way it is and he’ll be happy. But it’ll only take time to heal again.”

“I just want to see that bright smile again.” she finally finished.

“Ms. Todoroki trust in me and I’ll make Todoroki smile again.”

“Thank you Bakugou really.” They both smiled.

❁———❁

Todoroki went into the kitchen to find his mother cooking dinner. He grabbed the same notebook and pen he used to talk to Bakugou and wrote;

Mama, can I get a phone?

She looked at him questionably.

“Ppft why?”

Bakugou said we’ll be friends if I got a phone.

Rei couldn’t really say no to that. It’s the first in four years she's seen Todoroki this determined.

“Sure.”

She hopes that smile comes soon.

For the first time in four years, she dreamt of a smiling Shouto.  

Chapter Text

Shouto found peace in the small corner of the big dirty old basement. There was a crack in the ceiling and he was able to feel the sun hug him. 

He hated when they tried to take him away from the corner.

“Please stop! Just leave me alone! Please!” the young boy cried.

“Leave me al-“ Something stopped him from finishing his begging. His throat hurt. Too much pain.

“Dude! Are you serious! You hit him!” Shouto looked up from the floor holding his throat, he saw the two men. One yelling at the other and the said other with a metal rod.

There’s too much pain. Where’s mama? Fuyumi? Touya? Natsuo? Papa? 

Even though each family member said their faces were just a blurry image. He’s been here for so long he forgot how they looked.

How does he still have tears left to shed?

“It’s ok kid, it’ll heal. We can’t take you to the hospital, you know that right?” He patted Shouto’s head. 

He hated it.

Even with the large amount of pills thrown at him each day, the pain didn’t go away. It stood there for such a long time. 

Where was Mama? Why isn’t she with me?

He tried telling them his throat hurt, but they didn’t believe him, his voice didn’t sound the same anymore. It sounded faded and cracked with each word, it hurt every time he tried to say something.They still did things he didn’t want to, it hurt even more.

In his little tiny corner is only where he found comfort.

❁———❁

How do you work this?

“You don’t know how?”

It has no button like what am I supposed to do?

“I just told you, you swipe up.”

Ok what are these things for?

“They’re called apps, you haven’t had a phone before really?”

I always played with Touya’s phone but he’d just pick whatever I did on his phone.

“Hm. Well you can pick your favorite apps later lemme just.”

Todoroki saw him take the delicate phone from his hands and press a few things until he gave it back.

“There, you have my contact now. Which means we can text each other, among other things.” Bakugou said as he rested his cheek on his palm.

What can I send you?

“Anything you want. Like a “hello” or a picture.”

Bakugou saw Todoroki open safari, searched something up, Todoroki moved away so Bakugou couldn’t see. Eventually Bakugou’s text tone went off. 

New Message from Unknown Sender!

Unknown Number: Scottishfold Cats-

 Click more! Learncats.com

Sender isn’t in Contacts. Block or Add to Contacts

Bakugou thought it was cute that Todoroki sent a link instead of a photo. Bakugou felt something crash into his back.

It worked?

“Yeah it did. It’s a cute cat.”

Todoroki didn't smile but it was getting there. His face looked blank with a tiny amount of emotion. His eyebrows were up and his mouth shaped like an O shape but he wrote in an exciting way just his face didn’t replicate it.

“I’m surprised you remembered how to copy and paste links.”

Todoroki made a frown face which actually made Bakugou giggle. Cute. Wait cute?

“Hey-“

“Shouto? Bakugou? I’m back!” Rei yelled from the entrance door.

“Look, the flower seeds came in isn’t that exciting!” Rei said happily. “I should plant them quickly, I’m excited!”

“I can’t wait to see how they'll grow.” Bakugou said. “Well of course they’ll grow beautifully since you’re here!”

Rei left the room to do god knows what and left the duo by themselves once again. It was silent, but this time an awkward silence. Bakugou kept thinking of something to say until he saw Todoroki writing again. No matter how much he wrote his handwriting still looked pretty childish and terrible. It made Bakugou chuckle.

Do you have more photos of your friends?

He really wants to meet his friends huh? Todoroki looked very antisocial but Todoroki seems to amaze him everyday hanging out with him.

“Uh sure.” Bakugou pulled out his phone and clicked the camera roll app. Bakugou pressed the “Bakusquad” album. He let Todoroki scroll through the photos and occasionally swiped past the embarrassing one quickly. 

Do you have other friends or that’s the only people in your class?

“Oh ppft no hold on I’ll show you.”

Bakugou showed Todoroki more photos of his friends until he saw one of a green haired boy. His face was blocked out by one of Bakugou’s friends. What was his name again? Kaminari? Green hair,, Todoroki tried thinking but it was just foggy. He started getting frustrated by how foggy his memory was. He snapped out of his thoughts when Bakugou’s text tone went off. Todoroki saw the notification which read;

Deku💥: Hey Kacchan! I’m near your house, are you ready??

Deku? What a weird name. Does this mean Bakugou’s has to go? Todoroki quite enjoyed his company and it made him feel better about himself.

“Ah damn. Sorry Todoroki, I gotta go.” Bakugou stood up stretching. “I’ll come back tomorrow.” And with that Bakugou said his goodbyes and left. Todoroki walked to the window which was the window to the front of the house. He saw Bakugou talking to the green hair guy. Just like the hair in the photos. Todoroki tried to look at his face but Bakugou was too tall and blocked his face. Green hair. Why can’t he remember? Did he even know someone with green hair or is he making it all up? Green hair. Green hair. Ugh! It’ll probably come to him later.

 ❁———❁

“Shouchan! Shouchan! Look, the swings are free! We came here early enough!”

“Wait, slow down          you run too fast! I’m out of breath!”

“Shouchan! Hurry, I saved a swing for you!”  They played until it sundown, it started getting dark and they both knew it was time to go back home. They decided to walk the shortcut way. The same way they took to get to the park in the first place. Who knew something so safe turns out to be so dangerous. They took the alleyway they always took to get to the park. Past the sleeping cat, take a right turn behind the bakery and lastly the last alleyway. The alleyway felt wrong. Extremely wrong. Shouto wanted to go back but            said it was better to go this way. He pulled Shouto’s arm.

“Come on Shouchan we’re almost the-.” They bumped into two men. Shouto had to cover his nose, the smell of cigarette smoke was too much for him. 

“Oh look, who do we have here?” One of the men said, he got closer. Shouto still held            ‘s hand. He was shaking. It was dark in the alleyway. He wants to go home. 

“Oh shit, hey isn’t that Enji’s kid?” the other man said. He brought his face extremely close to Shouto. The cigarette smoke was intoxicating. “Do you know how much his network is?!” “Shit is like a billion dollars!” Network? Billion dollars? He doesn’t have money on him. He wants to go home.

“Um,, I’m sorry, I don’t have money with me. I only have money in my house my grandparents gave to me on my birthday.” Shouto was desperately shaking. Why hasn’t           said anything? The smoke infused man started speaking again. 

“Oh don’t worry kid, you’re the money.” and pushed        out of the way and grabbed Shouto. 

“Wait no! Shouchan! Please let him go!”        pleaded, he started crying begging for Shouto back. The other man that wasn’t holding Shouto pulled a knife out to         .

“Look kid we’re gonna take your little friend here and you’re gonna run home. Got it?”           shaking intensely looked at Shouto. He noticed how scared he was. The man had Shouto in a headlock, possibly filling Shouto’s nose with that disgusting smoke smell. “I-I’m so sorry Shouto. I’m sorry!” Shouto felt his world break. Everything around him started to fog. Sound was so muted. Tears fell from his eyes. He saw          run away. He was left alone. With these random strangers. Was he going to die? Is this the last he’ll see his family. Shouto started to shout and kicking is way out of their grasp. Next thing he knows white cloth went to his face and lights out.

He woke up in a cold dark basement. He wants to go home. Where’s mama? Is he gonna die? He heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Shouto starts screaming. “I wanna go home please! Please-” All he felt was pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. It’s probably all he’ll ever know. Color started fading. All he saw was gray. 

❁———❁

He woke up in a cold sweat. Why was that nightmare different? He never had that nightmare before? Why now? Why when he thought it was stopping. His breathing picked up. 

I'm not sick, but I'm not well! And I'm so hot! 'Cause I'm in hell! I'm not sick, but I'm not well! And it's a sin to live so well! He just wants it to stop. He wants everything to go away. Why can’t he have that? He started to calm down. The green hair was in his dream. His voice and face was blacked out. Does he know him. Why is his memory so fogged up? He heard Fuyumi open the door and say good morning.

Another day of hell.

Shouto wondered when he saw color again. Well almost. It was mostly gray but he could see some colors. Like blue, red,,etc. But it was still faded in gray. Maybe it was when he saw his mother’s garden? He wasn’t lying when he said he loved his mother’s garden. As much as he doesn’t go out, when he does he loves looking at the flowers in bloom and the sun pressing down on his face. Maybe it was when he saw Bakugou? He wouldn’t admit it out loud but, when he saw Bakugou he felt comfort. He really likes Bakugou’s eyes. The rarest shade of ruby. His mother’s favorite flower, roses. Bakugou made him feel better about himself. He hated that he cannot speak, when he tries it hurts his throat so much. Does Bakugou hate doing all the talking? Todoroki is trying his hardest but it hurts so much. Will Todoroki become as close to Bakugou like his friends are? Will Bakugou hate him when he tells him that he's really broken? How will he move on from that?

❁———❁

Months passed and Bakugou and Todoroki have gotten closer. There was one thing though, this ‘Deku’ always wanted to hang out with Bakugou when he was. Bakugou always left early and did he text this ‘Deku’ to pick him up because he didn’t wanna be with Todoroki anymore? Was he that bad to hang out with? He saw the message pop up on Bakugou’s phone and he knew it was from ‘Deku’ so he quickly wrote down on notepad in his phone and passed it to Bakugou;

Hey before you leave, can I meet this Deku person?

“Oh really?”

Bakugou was actually surprised he wanted to meet him. Honestly color him stoked. He’s honestly happy that Todoroki wants to meet new people, especially his friends. Maybe he’ll get to introduce him to Kirishima and the others. Bakugou was honestly happy. Todoroki thought his smile shined better than the sun. Bakugou was excited, what could go wrong?

“Yeah! Sure! I’ll bring him here!” Bakugou got up, stretched and walked to the front door, “I’ll be back in a bit.” Bakugou wouldn’t admit it but he was definitely walking with a little skip in his steps. 

Todoroki waited a few minutes like Bakugou had said and started drawing. He wasn’t a great drawer he just drew whatever came to mind and he started drawing flowers he’s seen in the garden. He was pushed into his thoughts he didn’t even hear the sounds of the front door opening and a couple of footsteps walking to the living room. Todoroki was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard a name he only heard in his nightmares. 

“S-Shouchan?”

Todoroki’s pencil fell from his hand and he whipped his head around too quickly. No. No No. Please this can’t be happening. I thought-!

“Wait, you guys know each other?” Bakugou asked in confusion. 

Stop. No No! I don’t- 

All the faded memories coming back to him. The blackened face, voice, in his nightmares are flooding back at him. He reached to cover his ears. It’s too loud! Please! Stop! I’ll do anything! Please just stop! Tears started falling rapidly. He couldn’t look at his face, it hurt him so much. 

“Todoroki! Shit! Hey what’s wrong?” Bakugou went up to Todoroki to try to calm him down but it wasn’t working. Todoroki eventually pushed Bakugou out the way and stood up grabbing the notebook on the coffee table he was drawing on. He started throwing things he could find. He was shouting. His shouting was extremely unintelligible. It sounded like he was saying nonsense. Like a baby yelling. 

YOU! YOU LEFT ME! YOU DID NOTHING BUT RUN! YOU LEFT ME FOR DEAD! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT'S BEEN? ALL BECAUSE OF YOU! 

He kept throwing things, he somehow gotten books from the shelves and aimed it for the green hair male. He kept shouting, crying. I want it to stop, please.

Bakugou eventually stopped him by hugging him and keeping his hands by his side. Todoroki tears flooded down his face. Todoroki’s knees went weak, he sat down and covered his ears again. Breathe 1 2 3 just like Bakugou taught you. Breathe 1 2 3. He heard Bakugou tell him to wait outside and he’ll come out. Todoroki soon calmed down but was still shaking. Bakugou went to the kitchen and got him a glass of water. He told him he’ll be right back. In a few. How long is a few minutes? Todoroki got up and ran into the bathroom on the first floor. He knew they were here. He opened the medicine cabinet and there it was twenty- five pill bottles. All for him. Twenty- five different kinds of pills, they were supposed to make him happier and they did. Especially when he chugged a whole bottle at once. He grabbed a random bottle and tried opening it. His screams of help were too loud in his head. Stupid child proof caps. He got it opened but it was too late, he didn’t hear Bakugou yelling for him and he didn’t see behind him. 

The white tiled bathroom floor colored in blue pills. How many are on the floor? Thirty-four maybe? His body felt warm. He heard Bakugou;

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

Why was he sorry? He didn’t do anything?

They hugged on the floor for maybe hours. Todoroki forgot about the mess he made in the living room, he forgot about the pills coloring the tile floor. All he thought about was those ruby colored eyes and his warm embrace.

Chapter Text

Every morning is like a routine. Like he’s playing the same game every time.The same boring level, he can never beat. Always waking up in a cold sweat, same pills, and same hatred he felt about himself when he looked in the mirror. He was pale, skinny, some old cuts, maybe some new if he didn’t get caught. He especially hated his face. That stupid huge scar against his face. The scar extended to his ear and some harsh red marks on his shoulder. He hated looking at that side of his face. He wishes it would just disappear. Sadly Shouto doesn’t believe in wishing. He wished for so long to get out and yet he was still there. Not physically but mentally. He thought about the interaction with him. Thoughts crowded his mind, what would he be if that didn’t happen? What would his life be like? Would he be smiling? Would he meet Bakugou? Would he get this stupid scar? Would he be so broken? 

Are you okay? 

I’m not okay.

Are you okay?

I’m not okay at all.

He quickly got dressed so he wouldn’t have to look at his face anymore. 

Would Bakugou not come today too? He hasn’t seen Bakugou since he trashed the living room in books and in his cries. Was Bakugou really mad at him? Bakugou doesn’t know anything he shouldn’t be mad. If Bakugou hadn’t brought him, they would’ve been fine. Todoroki would’ve been fine, Bakugou would’ve been fine. But nothing is fine . Of course when life gets better for him it always goes crashing down on him. Did he do something so bad he deserves all this karma? Even after all he went through, why was the world still so bad to him. He just wants it to stop.

He barely ate breakfast. Leaving his plate full and his mother worried. 

❁———❁

“I thought his throat was damaged. How the hell is he still crying so damn loud?”

“You’re asking like I’m a doctor.”

Shouto heard their footsteps. Louder. He heard the whistling of a kettle. Louder. Louder. Until they stopped, right in front of him. Don’t lift your head up. Don’t do it. It’ll only make it worse. The man was clearly angry. Please don’t hurt me. I just wanna go home. 

“Look up.” the man said. Shouto couldn't, it'll only cause bad things. 

“LIFT YOUR FACE GOD DAMN IT!” the man grabbed Shouto’s face and made him look right at him.

Hot. Hot. HOT. Water fell down his face, extremely hot water. The basement filled screams and cries of agony.

“DON’T YOU EVER SHUT UP?!” the man threw Shouto on the ground. Grabbed the kettle and threw it but missed at Shouto. “We should‘ve sold him when we had the chance.” And with that the men left the basement.

Left Shouto with his soft white skin scarred in red. Left him to cry in his little corner. 

❁———❁

Shouto was at the window sill, he could see his mother’s garden in this view. He never really knew how big it looked. It’s like you could get lost in such colors. He watched as his mother went to an empty section of dirt and pulled out weeds and replaced them with flower seeds. Why did she do that? Did she think the yellow dandelions were ugly? Were they useless? Shouto looked at the other flowers and noticed they were so different from the yellow dandelions. 

Shouto, what’s your favorite flower in mother’s garden?

I like the dandelions there’s so many.

Oh, those are just weeds, Shouto. They don’t matter much.

Did he represent dandelions? They didn’t matter in such a garden. Dandelions are just weeds, they get pulled out and thrown away. Shouto was so broken no matter how hard he tried. She pulled the dandelions out from the dirt. They weren’t allowed in the garden. Shouto walked away from the window sill. Tears fell from his cheeks. His knees gave out, but his tears kept coming down. He wants to be something other than a dandelion. Too bad dandelions grow into wishes people believe in. Shouto fell asleep dreaming about being pulled away from his mother.

Shouto woke up, noticed the sun was still out. He hears a weird noise. It’s vibrating. He turned to find his phone on the nightstand. He never got a call before. Was Nastuo calling him? Stupid Nastuo. Shouto grabbed his phone and checked the caller ID just like Bakugou taught him. What? Bakugou. Bakugou was calling him. But why? Shouto answered. Before Shouto could try to form a word he was cut off.

“ Todoroki, look I’m sorry. I just, shit, I should've texted you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I haven’t been going over. I just needed to process everything. Izu- Deku told me everything and I just couldn’t believe what I heard. I didn’t know what to say. Just seeing you break down like that when you saw him. I realized how terrible I am. I shouldn’t have brought him. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I heard mostly everything from your mom. Should I even say that? When you tried to chug pills it scared the shit out of me, I didn’t know what to do, and just open the door.”

Open the door? Shouto walked up to his door and swung it open. There he was Bakugou. Shouto was soon engulfed in warmth. Something he exactly needed. He wrapped his arms around him and didn’t want to let go. Tears fell down, heart racing, was this happiness? Shouto felt so warm in his embrace and didn’t want to let go. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry.”

Why was he apologizing so much? He didn’t do anything. If only Todoroki can form words to tell him to stop. 

The warmth made him feel safe. Just didn’t fix how broken he was.

Tears ended up falling again. This time Shouto couldn’t even find the reason why. He shed tears because, what? That he can’t speak? That he’s so broken? That he wishes that he was gone sometimes? That he’s suffering still so much? That he does nothing but cry and cry? That he missed Bakugou and his warm embraces?

Maybe.

But hopefully he’ll tell him soon.

❁———❁

Shouto never felt such warmth in an embrace before. Before it happened, his siblings’ and his mother’s hugs were something he always cherished. But until he was separated from them he forgot how warm they were. Those touches were just cold and dirty. They just made him want to vomit. They kept touching and touching and never stopped until Shouto cried and kicked. But those would turn into painful quick touches.

Bakugou’s embrace felt like.. home. Home was something Shouto forgot what it felt like. The “home” Shouto was in, was always cold and hurtful. His little corner was the only thing that helped him relax, but of course he was always ripped away from it. Pulled away to be used and to be in cold hurtful pain.

Shouto always thought if he would ever leave or would he die in the cold, dirty basement. Sitting in his tiny corner, thinking about how the world must hate him. How his “friend” just left him. How many days has it been since then? Little did he know, it’s been a full year since his taking. Shouto forgot how many days he’s been in here. 

Are you okay?

I’m not okay at all.

❁———❁

Shouto woke up to a warm embrace. That’s strange? The last time he woken up with arms around him, they were nothing but cold and disgusting.

Shouto’s breathing was picking up. It was the touching. The touching was too much. 

Off.

Off!

He felt itchy. ITCHY. 

He saw Bakugou stirring awake and tried to calm his breathing. Touching. Still touching. Bakugou noticed the fear in his eyes and quickly got up and actually fell off the bed. 

“Shit! Ow.. I’m sorry! Oh god, breathe in and breathe out.”

Shouto counted and soon his breathing was calming down.

“I’m going to sit back down, ok? I won’t touch you.”

Shouto watched Bakugou sit down on the bed next to him. His breathing finally down. Bakugou’s mouth kept opening and closing looking for words. He sighs and begins speaking.

“Look, I didn’t know you knew Deku and if I had known, I wouldn’t have done that.”

Shouto breathes in a little too hard after that name.

“Your mom was worried, your siblings and I wa- I had to visit you to see if you were alright.”

“It’s okay,” Shouto signs out of reflex.

He notices Bakugou looking down at his hands and smiles. What a nice smile. 

“Thank you really.”

Wait. What? 

“You know sign language, even though what I did is kinda obvious but-!”

Bakugou was looking at his hands again until his hands started to move too. 

“Yeah, I started to learn while I wasn’t here. I’m a little wack but I think it’s okay to read.” He chuckled at the last point of his sentence. 

Shouto didn’t know what to do, he wanted to scream but that hurt to do so, he just stared and a small smile bloomed against his face.

“Thank you Bakugou.”

Shouto stared at the smile across from him. He looked at those ruby colored eyes he found so much warmth in.

But what Shouto didn’t know was that, the blonde with ruby colored eyes found peace and happiness in those deep ocean blue and faded smoke colored eyes.

And they both were happy as those sunflowers which would smile at the sun, in his mother’s garden.

Are you okay?

I’m okay for now.