Chapter Text
Nino Lahiffe would consider himself a pretty patient person.
For one thing, he had the pleasure of being Adrien Agreste’s best friend. And contrary to popular belief, Adrien’s life was not all sunshine and smiles. So when Adrien called him at three in the morning to complain about his father, Nino rubbed his eyes, gave up on sleep, and listened. And when Adrien turned out to be a dork with a strange fixation on cat puns and an unhealthy obsession with anime, Nino just smiled and suffered in silence. Because Adrien was his best bro, and that’s what friends do.
And then there’s his girlfriend. He loved her, he really did, but it took everything in his power to not tie her to her chair during akuma attacks. And then of course, after they started dating, she convinced him to come with her. And because Nino is a push-over, he ended up following her through the wrecked city and ignoring his survival instinct every time, pockets heavy with back-up bateries and heart hammering because no Alya, this isn’t some stupid game . They could die .
Last but not least, there’s Marinette. Sweet, loyal Marinette who could beat him at arm wrestling any day and has more emotional strength than anyone he’s ever met. She was normally pretty chill, but there was always the days when Adrien’s obliviousness and the stress of school caught up to her, and she ended up calling him because she couldn't deal with Alya’s good-natured prying and she doesn’t want Adrien to see her so upset. So of course, Nino dashes to the nearest grocery store, purchases a gallon of strawberry ice cream, and sits on the end of Marinette’s bed quietly as she stuffs her face with the frozen treat and cries to him about anything and everything. More often than not, it’s about Adrien, and Nino swears under his breath and wishes his best friend would just open his eyes and see the amazing girl that sits behind him.
All in all Nino is a patient person. But like anyone, he has his limits.
It all started on a Tuesday afternoon. If Nino had been an organized person, he would have circled the day in red marker on some calendar. Because that was the day that Nino had discovered that Adrien, his best bro, was also Chat Noir. All things considered, perhaps it should have been obvious. They had the same looks, awful sense of humor, and almost concerning obsession with Ladybug. And yet, Nino had been shocked, spending at least five minutes gaping at the recently de-transformed hero. Adrien had stared at him for a few moments before completely freaking out.
"Oh god. Ladybug is going to kill me. Nino, you can't tell anybody! Swear it to me! This is a cat-astrophe!"
Nino cringed at the pun, but it was enough to shake him out of his stupor. Cat-themed superhero or not, it was still Adrien. So eventually, Nino got used to it. And if he started carrying around some awful smelling cheese for the mischievous creature Adrien called Plagg, and brought extra coffee to school the morning after akuma attacks, he could only hope nobody noticed.
Apart from the constant anxiety he felt while watching Chat Noir fight, Nino had come to terms with the discovery. But then, nearly two weeks later, he had a very similar experience. Except that this time it was Marinette de-transforming, who was apparently also Ladybug. Nino wasn't exactly proud of the not-so-manly shriek he let out when Maribug turned her burning gaze on him. That reveal had been much less fun. Marinette had sat him down and borderline threatened him if he didn't keep his mouth shut. Nino would have never guessed his sweet classmate could be so terrifying. But she had eventually let up, and now Nino was blessed with the knowledge of both superheroes' identities.
He of course couldn't tell anyone, but he knew it was info many people would kill for. Probably kill him for. People like Alya. Yeah, Alya would definitely kill him if she found out he was keeping this from her. Fantastic.
However, that wasn't the reason Nino was rapidly losing patience. No, that was because this morning, as he was forced to listen to another one of Adrien's "Ladybug is Amazing" rants, he had an epiphany. His two best friends had been pining after and dancing around each other for years, and they were both so irritatingly oblivious. The more Adrien praised Ladybug, the harder Nino grit his teeth.
By the time they got to school, Nino was uncharacteristically irritated. Even Alya's quick kiss and excited rambling did nothing for his mood. And as the day wore on, it only got worse. The class started some discussion about Paris' resident superheroes, and their love life. Adrien seemed convinced that LadyNoir would happen eventually, so he looked incredibly wounded when Marinette claimed that Chat Noir was just a flirt and nothing would come of it. And then, two minutes later, Adrien was launching into another smitten Ladybug speech, and Marinette was practically swooning. Nino had to fight the urge to facepalm.
Perhaps if he hadn't been in such a mood, he would have noticed the light blue eyes watching him from across the room. But as it was, he wasn't paying attention, and he was completely caught off guard when Chloe walked right up to him when class ended. Chloe almost never interacted with him. Sure she hung all over Adrien, and she was constantly butting heads with Marinette or Alya. But he never really spoke to her.
"Lahiffe," she addressed, staring down at him haughtily.
"Umm...hi?"
She raised one elegant eyebrow. "Let's skip the pleasantries. Based on your reactions to our discussion today I'm assuming you've also discovered the love square?"
Nino stared at her. "Huh?" Real smooth .
Chloe sighed as if his ignorance was the largest inconvenience known to man. "Honestly, try to keep up. I mean how your two friends are pining after each other but their secret identities are messing everything up?"
Nino gaped. "Hold up, you know about their identities?"
Chloe rolled her eyes. "Obviously. I've known Adrien forever, and he's a terrible liar. Plus, Dupain-Cheng has absolutely no subtly. If I got a dollar every time either of them had to go to the bathroom during an akuma attack, I'd be rich." She considered this for a moment. "Well, richer."
Nino was silent for a moment trying to process her words and feeling uncomfortable with the icy gaze directed at him. "Right. Ok, so you know. Why are you bringing this up?"
"Because," she said, dragging out the word as if it should be obvious. "You seem like the meddling type, and you're definitely going to need help to get them together."
He frowned at that. He didn't "meddle". Sure, he had helped Alya with almost all of her convoluted Adrienette plans, and he had gotten involved in far too many akuma fights to protect his friends, and there was that one time-
Ok, maybe he was a meddler.
The rest of her sentence suddenly registered. "Wait, you want to get them together? But you've got a thing for Adrien!"
Chloe waved a hand dismissively. "No, I'm just super affectionate with him because he never got enough love as a kid. Besides, he's more like a brother to me, so I want to see him happy. And as much as I hate to admit it, Dupain-Cheng makes him happy."
"Wow. That's actually surprisingly sweet."
Chloe glared. "Don't make me regret this, Lahiffe. So, do you want my help, or not?"
Nino hadn't been planning on doing anything on his frustration, but perhaps he owed this to his best bro. "Alright, sure. But we need to come up with a plan name. Ladynoir? Adrienette? Ladynetteadrinoir?"
Her lip curled in disgust. "Let's just stick with Operation Lovesquare."
"I still don't get where you're getting that."
"I'll have to show you the flowchart."
"Flowchart?"
"Don't worry about it."
They were interrupted by the buzzing of Nino's phone, announcing a message from Alya.
Babe<3 where r u? going to Mari's for lunch
"I should probably go," he said, glancing back up at the blonde sheepishly.
She nodded. "We'll have to meet somewhere outside of school to make our plan. I'll make lunch reservations for tomorrow. Give me your phone."
Nino handed the device over warily. "Uh, reservations? You don't have to do that, dudette. We can just meet in the library or something."
"Nonsense," Chloe replies, handing back his phone, where she had sent herself a text. "If we're going to do real planning, we need real food. I'll text you the venue once it's reserved."
"Right." He said, grabbing his bag and following her outside the room. He walked all the way to Marinette's house in a slight daze, and managed to make up some excuse about talking to a teacher after class. The others seemed to accept this, and soon he was sitting at the Dupain-Cheng's kitchen table, practically inhaling a croissant while Alya excitedly showed them the footage she got of the latest akuma battle.
Later that night, when he received a text from Chloe Bourgeois telling him to be at an incredibly expensive restaurant at exactly 12:30 the next day, he decided that this was another day he'd circle in red on his non-existent calendar.