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“What’s that button for?” Bucky asked as he inspected the coffee machine. He and Loki had been trying to adjust to the modern world since the god came to earth and Bucky wasn’t put into a freezer anymore. But it seemed to be a lot more difficult than expected.
“I don’t know. Just press it.” Loki answered, taking a closer look. Next to the button there was a small symbol, showing a cup. “Maybe this is the button to pour coffee into the cup? Press it.” Loki urged.
“Stop rushing, Loki, we don’t know what this is doing.” the soldier hissed quietly, not liking the way the god was pushing him.
Loki rolled his eyes and shoved the other man slightly aside. “Well, if you’re not doing it, I will do it.”
“No, are you mad? Who knows what that button is even for?!”
“I already told you, James. It’s for the coffee. You press it, it comes down. I’ve seen Stark doing it all the time.” Loki was getting annoyed. For someone who used to be the most badass assassin the world knew, he seemed to be too careful.
“This is definitely not a cup.” Bucky pointed the symbol next to the button, shaking his head.
“It is a cup, Bucky. Now could you please do me the favour and press the god damn button?!” when the soldier denied a second time, Loki took the matter in his own hands and pressed the small button. Much to Bucky’s dismay.
“What the hell did you do?!” he shouted, looking for the power cable to rip out of the plug socket as the noises coming from the machine grew louder and louder. Loki stepped back, hands in the air and eyes wide open.
“Oh..” Loki said, as the coffee machine started to move to the edge of the counter, the vibration dragging it forward. But there was no coffee.
“It’s moving! It’s moving!!” Bucky shouted, grabbing the moving machine, trying to stop it from falling down, but it would still not stop. He looked at the black-haired man with an angry expression.
“ Stop staring and help me, Loki!” the cup fell to the floor. There was a loud cracking noise as it broke into many little pieces. “Fuck.” Bucky swore, taking a deep breath to calm himself down, keeping him from panicking.
“It broke the cup.” Loki stated as he put a firm hand on the machine.
Bucky put the strands of brown hair, that kept falling into his face, behind his ear, sighing.
“I know that it broke the fucking cup, Loki! I was standing-” he looked at the god, staring straight into his eyes, with hatred eyes, “-right here, alright?” he whispered dangerously calm, his eyes still not leaving Loki’s as he held onto the moving coffee machine as if his life depended on it.
2 minutes later the movements stopped. Both sighed, thankful that it was finally over and that nothing but a cup broke. Loki took a closer look at the coffee machine and gulped. There was steam coming from behind the giant machine.
“Oh no.” Loki whispered, shoving his partner aside again and turning the big black kitchen equipment. Bucky frowned.
“What?” he turned around, seeing the mess they’ve created. “Stark is going to kill us.” the soldier said, totally exhausted, not even trying to do anything against it.
“Okay, it’s been fun, really. You two are extremely entertaining, but if you touch my coffee machine one more time, I’ll put you back in the freezer,” Tony appeared in the doorway, out of nowhere, pointing at Bucky, “and kick your ass so hard you’re able to fly back to Asgard.” and then turned to Loki.
Both were startled at the sudden appearance of the person they’d better avoided right now.
“Stark, we can explain.” the soldier tried to clarify, but Tony wasn’t having any of that.
“Zip it, kool aid. I’ve seen more than enough.” Tony laughed, taking a sip from his glass of orange juice that Peter had changed for the Jack Daniel’s one.
“’Seen enough’? How? You just came here.” Loki asked confused.
“The moment I heard loud noises coming from the kitchen I asked Friday to live-stream the whole scene. And I was not disappointed at all.” he chuckled, wiping an invisible tear away in amusement. He walked over to the pair and looked at his coffee machine and sniffed before raising his eyebrows.
“You know I’ve had this one for nearly 10 years.” he put his hand on top of it and smiled.
“We’re really sorry, we didn’t mean to break it.” Loki said apologetic.
“It’s okay.” Tony laughed, barely able to hold it back any longer. He turned to look at the machine.
“I’m sorry?” Bucky said, thinking he didn’t hear him correctly.
“I said, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it. It’s an old coffee machine that I bought somewhere on vacation for little money. I didn’t even think it’d last this long to be honest.” he turned to look at the couple again, changing the topic.
“But you two? Jesus, get used to technology. Steve was watching old black and white movies on a tablet a week after they heated up his frozen butt, but you two take a long ass time.” he left.
“Wait!” Bucky yelled as he jogged up to Tony. “Just one question. What was the button for?”
“The one you guys pressed?” Tony asked.
“Yeah.”
“Self-destruction.” he shrugged.
“They have a button for that as well now?” Bucky asked shocked, but at least Loki was wrong, which brought him a little bit of joy.
“Wha- no of course they don’t, Bucky?! Why would- you know what? That’s really enough for today.” he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.
“Just clean the kitchen, alright?” and he disapeared.
“Sure.” the soldier said confused as he walked back to where he’d left Loki. He’d already started picking up the pieces of the broken cup. The god looked up.
“And? What’d he say?” he asked.
“I was right. It wasn’t a cup.” Bucky smirked devilish.