Chapter Text
Jeongguk wakes up sad. He’s not sure what uprooted his new found melancholy, he just knows it’s there and there’s not much to be done about it. He blinks slowly at the cracks in the ceiling, feeling a bit broken like that too. Getting out of bed presents itself to be an even harder task than waking up, and if the tears gathering in his eyes and threatening to fall are anything to go by, today is going to be a rough day. His shins and knees and shoulders hurt from dance practice yesterday, pain adding to the weight of his fogged up mind.
Dragging his feet to the kitchen, Jeongguk smells Seokjin’s home-cooked breakfast from a mile away and it smells like returning back home after being gone his whole life.
“Ah, Jeonggukie, good morning,”
He slumps down in his chair and tries not to be surprised when a good-looking breakfast plate is placed in front of him. He mutters a thank you to whoever gave him the food.
Carefully disassembling his waffle square by square and chewing slowly, Jeongguk doesn’t even realize someone is talking to him until he receives a light slap to his wrist, looking up to Yoongi’s unimpressed face. “What?” Yoongi gestures to the syrup bottle sitting by his plate, “Oh, sorry Hyung,” and he passes it to a merely satisfied Yoongi.
Namjoon sits down across from him and starts spewing off about all the things their schedule has in store for them today. It’s not that much, just a meeting with the managers that will take up a good portion of the day and if they decide, a few members have to re-record a few lines from their newest album.
Hoseok offers to sit next to him at the meeting, which is helpful… but not enough. Jeongguk can’t seem to focus on his managers words, he knows he’s talking about something regarding the upcoming tour, the concert dates and songs and whatsoever, but for the life of him, Jeongguk cannot grasp onto the words. Growing tired of trying to process the discussion, Jeongguk soon becomes fidgety and Hoseok seems to notice, putting a hand on his thigh in an attempt to appease the shaking leg, but arises unsuccessful.
The rest of the meeting is treacherously long— Jeongguk is honestly surprised he didn’t start screaming out of pure apathy. The other boys finally finally stand up, and Jeongguk follows, waiting for subconscious commands from them which turn out to be bow to the manager now, and say goodbye.
“You sure you’re okay?” he hears Hoseok whisper in his ear on the way to the parking lot, the only words he’s been able to focus on all day, and he’s barely able to nod at the floor.
He makes it to the van waiting for them just in time for his knees to give in, thankfully he was already seated, next to an exhausted looking Taehyung and Jimin in the backseat who, from the looks of it, are equally distracted with each other, Jimin absently tracing Taehyung’s moles and talking to him softly in a voice pitched so low, he’d be surprised if Tae can even hear it. Leaning his head backwards, Jeongguk tries to pull his head together, to untangle the knotted yarn that is his brain but the more he tries the messier it gets, valuable thoughts jumping out of his grasp and unimportant concerns replacing them before he even has time to even retrieve them.
The rest of the day goes by in a blur. They return back to the apartment minus Namjoon and Yoongi, who are working on new songs and are still at the studio. In a haze, Jeongguk stumbles to his room and collapses on the bed, not wanting anything to do with reality. Someone enters his room not too long after and leaves him a hefty sandwich, some veggies and a glass of banana milk on his bedside table but he doesn’t have time to process it and thank the probably-Seokjin before he’s already leaving the door.
He takes a few bites of the sandwich before putting the remaining drags of his energy into drinking the banana milk, then promptly falling asleep with a half-eaten carrot still clutched in his hand.
-
No longer than two hours later, Jeongguk wakes up from a not necessarily bad, but anxiety-induced dream that has him close to tears, yet again.
Now, as Jeongguk sits in his bed holding his phone that’s still blinking back at him with the abandoned mindless game that he tried to distract himself with, he realizes he is spiraling and kind of needs someone— anyone’s touch or simple company right now or he will probably malfunction. Namjoon and Yoongi are still at the studio, meaning they probably won’t be back until late at night or even tomorrow and even if Namjoon was here he’s not much of one for physical affection, and no matter how much Jeongguk loves him, he probably wouldn’t go to him anyways. Jimin is in Taehyung’s room; they’re taking a well-deserved nap together and Jeongguk thinks Taehyung is having a not-so-great day too, judging by the vacant look in his eyes earlier and the three words he’s said all day and the way Jimin held his hand firmly just how he likes throughout the whole meeting and afterwards. Also, he wouldn’t want to interrupt their slumber. Hoseok is out getting groceries and he’ll probably be back quite soon, but not soon enough. That leaves Seokjin— he’s most definitely gaming in his room, Jeongguk knows from the muffled shouts of despair and aggressive clicking of buttons— but he’s the only one available for the most part, so he’s the only one Jeongguk can go to at the moment.
Jeongguk grabs his stuffed bunny on the way out the door— Jimin had gotten it for him mostly as a joke when he saw it in a store window and as he said, it just reminded him of Jeongguk. However, rather than being a joke, the plushie ended up being well-loved by Jeongguk, so much so that it had somehow lost it’s eye in the haphazardness of their many adventures, which ended in a long night of endlessly-falling tears and the comfort of crooked fingers threading through his hair. He has a few others, shoved under his mattress or safely tucked into his sock drawer or hiding behind the curtains on his windowsill, but his rabbit will always have a home in his heart. He’s not a baby, he swears he’s not, the item simply holds unlimited memories and gives him an immeasurable amount of comfort that can’t be replaced.
“Oh, Jeongguk-ah, did you wanna play a round? I'm almost finished with this one,” Seokjin asks when he sees Jeongguk fluttering by the doorway out of the corner of his eye, to which Jeongguk just shakes his head, because he doesn’t really. It seems too overwhelming right now, the gameplay would go over his head, oversimplified tasks suddenly becoming insurmountable burdens as well as instructions he couldn't possibly follow.
“What’s wrong, baby?” He lets the pet name slip, probably on purpose, which makes Jeongguk’s knees a little weak and leaves his head even more floaty than before— and this is finally his breaking point.
It plants a bit of comfort in Jeongguk’s chest, knowing that his oldest hyung is there to care for him, he always has been— like the time before they debuted, Jeongguk just had a little too much hanging over his head, all with homesickness and the stress of being the golden maknae in the new idol group, he had found himself crying into his pillow in their shared dorm room at three am, but Seokjin had slipped into his bunk bed without a word and Jeongguk fell asleep to hushed whispers of It’s okay, Jeonggukie, you’ll be alright. Hyungie’s got you.
Now, Seokjin already knows what’s wrong. He knows this look on Jeongguk— he’s been a bit off all day, and the dots have finally connected. Honestly, he’s surprised he hadn’t noticed earlier, with the sluggish movements and reactions and blinking and now, with the solace-bringing plushie clutched in his hand, dangling from his fingers and hiding behind his legs a bit like Jeongguk doesn’t want anyone to see it. When Jeongguk declines his request to play mindless video games with him, he knows what’s up. Jin decides his dongsaeng is far more important than his game, he was losing anyways, so he quits the application and turns the screen off.
Now this, as Seokjin walks to Jeongguk with an all-knowing expression, is when the tears start. It was bound to come eventually, each little thing building and building and building up throughout each event of the day, and it’s inevitably crumbling down.
Seokjin is quick to give Jeongguk consultation, wiping heavy tears with fast thumbs and holding a strong hand on the boys rib cage to keep him from toppling over. Jeongguk’s free hand finds itself desperately grasping onto the hem of Seokjin’s shirt, discovering it to be so hard to find something to hold onto, not only mentally but physically now too. It soon develops into Jeongguk sinking into Seokjin’s chest and all of a sudden, Jeongguk is being swooped up in a solid grasp.
As Seokjin lifts Jeongguk into his arms, he praises himself internally for going to the gym more often because his kid has been too, and Jeongguk is not all that light. The boy instantly melts into his hyung’s hold, flattening his sniffling nose against the juncture between Seokjin’s neck and shoulder, one hand clutching a fistfull of Seokjin’s shirt and the other still in a tight grip around his stuffy's ears, now resting the bunny on the expanse of Seokjin’s chest. His legs instinctively wrap around Seokjin’s hips as he bounces the boy in his arms like you would an upset newborn baby.
“Baby, what do you need?” Seokjin asks through Jeongguk’s hiccups, but he doesn’t expect any kind of answer. It isn’t long before Seokjin knows Jeongguk is fully in his headspace now, long-term worries replaced with thoughts concerning issues placed directly in front of him, and thoughts regressed far into simple, pieced-together pictures and memories.
With a regressed mind comes heavier emotions, and tears make their way down Jeongguk’s cheeks all too fast, quickly saturating the shoulder of Jin’s shirt and skin wrapped around his collarbone with the salty liquid, but Seokjin doesn’t mind at all if it means comforting his dongsaeng. He doesn’t mind because this way, Jeongguk can cope with stress comfortably instead of tugging his thoughts apart all alone with no outlet.
It takes a while for Jeongguk’s built up sadness and crying to subside, and by then, Hoseok has returned, sitting next to Seokjin and Jeongguk who have moved to Seokjin’s big bed, but his presence still oblivious to the maknae. When Jeongguk seems to realize the foreign hand rubbing up and down his back, he tenses, whipping his head around comically, nearly clocking Seokjin in the chin who manages to move out of the way just in time. Hoseok gives the distraught boy one of his warmest smiles, who immediately relaxes in Jin’s hold. Then, to Hoseok’s surprise, he detaches himself from his hyung to uncoordinatedly crawl to his other hyung’s lap, his body not listening to his commands all too well but he eventually makes it there, and Hoseok does not reject the affection one bit, soaking it up by pulling Jeongguk as close as he can get into his chest before finally settling into the older’s grasp, tucked up all cute and small with two sets of fond eyes gazing upon his messy hair and curled up knees and curious fingers.
-
“‘K, Hobi, I gotta go drop off dinner to Namjoon and Yoongi before they buy fast food or fall asleep, so can you, uh… take care of Ggukie for a bit? I won’t be long, and also, go give Jimin and Taehyung a good serving each, they probably won’t be coming out from Tae’s room anytime soon, so…” he trails off, thinking, then, “Yeah, okay. That’s it. Thanks, now this food’s getting cold, I gotta go. Be back soon,” and with that Seokjin is rushing out the door with a full paper bag in hand, leaving a nearly-asleep Jeongguk in Hoseok’s arms at the kitchen table.
Gently, Hoseok deposits Jeongguk into the chair and quickly fixes both the other boys a plate each, but when he starts to walk away with plates in his hand, he is stopped in his tracks by a distraught whine leaving Jeongguk’s mouth, arms stretched out towards Hoseok and fingertips clutching helplessly at the air in a silent call addressing his need for affection.
“Oh, Gguk,” Hoseok is putting the plates back down in an instant and picking up Jeongguk and settling on his lap to which Jeongguk immediately buries his face into Hoseok’s neck, inhaling his sweet rose and vanilla body wash. “I need to feed the other boys, can I put you down for a minute? I can’t pick you up all that well like Jin-hyung can, sorry, bun” Hoseok says quietly with a guilty frown, but Jeongguk doesn’t seem satisfied. Shaking his head shyly, Jeongguk simply buries himself further into the expanse of Hoseok’s chest, tears threatening to fall off his already dampened eyelashes. “Hm, how about you do me a huge favor and carry one plate and I’ll carry this one, and we can walk to their room together, does that sound okay? Tell hyung if it’s too heavy or you might drop it, alright, baby?” Hoseok says to make it feel like Jeongguk is in control, which positively seems to work judging by the more eager nod from the younger, making his long bangs flop into his eyes followed by a scrunch of his nose in a delayed reaction to the hair in his face, then uses Hoseok’s shoulder to push it out.
Tucking his stuffy under his arm to free up some room, Jeongguk is set down gently on his feet and Hoseok hands him the plate, but doesn’t fail in making sure to give the younger a praise that makes his face heat up with red, suppressing a coo and leaving a few warm kisses on his pink-dusted skin.
Jeongguk is set on his journey, one hand clutched proudly around the plate and the other in a firm grasp around Hobi’s hand, his bare feet padding softly and unsurprisingly uncoordinatedly against the hardwood floor. The walk to Taehyung’s room is short and when they enter, the boys are watching something quiet on Jimin’s phone, both heads of hair still tousled from sleep and eyes puffy in exhaustion. Hoseok knocks on the doorframe to catch their attention and Jimin is the one to speak first, with, “Oh, hi, Hyung— oh, Jeonggukkie…”
“Hi, I brought food. And, yeah… he’s feeling rather small today,” Hoseok says with a grin, his hand squeezing Jeongguk’s in a reassurance that he did nothing wrong, shoulders scrunching up in a way that makes him appear twice more innocent than he already is.
Jimin removes himself from Taehyung’s sleepy limbs and goes to ruffle Jeongguk’s hair, because he loves the maknae like this. He punctuates it with a kiss on Jeongguk’s puffed out cheek, breaking the younger into a eye-squinting smile, framing his big front teeth and eyes made of fireflies. Grinning wide, Jimin takes the plates gratefully and returns back to Taehyung, the contagious smile plastered on his face too.
Back at the kitchen table, Jeongguk seems to be more than grateful to be eating Seokjin’s home-cooked meal after a long day. Situated on Hoseok’s lap once again, Jeongguk picks up little chunks of cut up fruit and puts it to his nose for inspection, before huffing as he sticks it clumsily, along with half of his fingers into his mouth. He repeats the process with the chicken and Hoseok doesn’t miss the chance to sneak some veggies into Jeongguk’s mouth all while trying to feed himself from his own plate.
With bellies full, they wander to the couch, Hoseok putting on a mindless kids show on the TV, but Jeongguk doesn’t seem to show interest and after a while, he climbs into Hobi’s lap and rests his cheek on the older’s shoulder, sighing.
Feeling a mysterious wet patch growing on his shoulder, Hoseok looks down only to find a wide-eyed Jeongguk chewing mindlessly on the shoulder seam of Hoseok’s shirt, his need for oral stimulation growing more demanding by the second. “Where’s your paci, Ggukkie?” He asks, to which Jeongguk looks up to his voice but forgetting to release the fabric from his teeth, bringing the shirt with him as he absently smears his own drool across his cheek. Realizing it’s probably not so important, Jeongguk plops his head back down staring unmindfully over Hoseok's shoulder, to which Hoseok just giggles and brings his hand up to massage the nape of Jeongguk’s neck.
Seokjin arrives back home and into the living room moments later, with a sleeping Yoongi a deadweight in his arms. “He was basically asleep at the keyboard, I managed to get some food in him before he practically passed out in my arms,” he explains with an irritated but fond chuckle after Hoseok shoots him a questioning look. “I’m gonna put him in bed, he seems to need the extra rest.”
“Okay,” Hoseok acknowledges, looking between Yoongi and back to Jeongguk, “Could you get Gguk’s pacifier on the way? I think it's in the drawer of his bedside table,” to which Seokjin nods and leads both of them away.
Time passes fast through cuddles and kisses and the “kids” tab on Netflix. The sun has long since said it’s goodbye for the night, and with it Jeongguk’s eyes start to get droopy.
Seokjin has to help Jeongguk brush his teeth because he can’t seem to get a grasp around the concept of the brushing motion as well as not letting toothpaste drip from his mouth, and Seokjin should have known that with the constant affection throughout the day, it’s inevitable that he would be feeling smaller and less coordinated than when he came to Seokjin this afternoon. Seokjin wipes Jeongguk’s face with a damp rag, the younger whining and scrunching his nose when Seokjin gets too close to his eyes.
Hoseok helps Jeongguk get dressed in his Cooky pajamas while Seokjin takes a shower. Jeongguk is practically asleep in Seokjin’s bed on top of a just as sleepy Hoseok by the time Seokjin gets out of the shower, pacifier bouncing rhythmically against Hoseok’s chest.
-
Jeongguk wakes up no more than two hours later, but it isn’t until an acidic smell permeates his nose does he realize what had happened and why he had woken up. Panic engulfs his skin in an instant, swallowing him whole, because the bed and his skin and his pants are wet and his hyungs are next to him and he had an accident and his hyungs are right there, in the bed with him, and— crying is one of the last things Jeongguk wants to do right now, but that seems to be the only thing he can do, too many emotions all at once clogging up his brain and rendering him virtually helpless.
It isn’t long until Seokjin is roused from his sleep from a distressed cry, fear instantly settling into his bones. Noticing Jeongguk is the one producing the desperate sobs, he doesn’t hesitate in wiping away the other’s tears with fast thumbs, but he feels the damp mattress and Jeongguk’s pajama bottoms and immediately knows what the issue is.
Seokjin knew he should have put Jeongguk in a pull-up before he went to bed, because sometimes this happens when he’s feeling especially small, and Jin would usually be woken by a sniffling Jeongguk hunched over the side of Seokjin’s bed, crying about his wet sheets and wiping his tears with the ears of his rabbit.
Seokjin doesn’t have time to think before he’s scooping up Jeongguk into his chest, not minding his damp pants and petting his hair and whispering, “It’s okay, baby, it‘s not your fault. Hyungie will take care of you, yeah?” all while trying to rouse Hoseok from his sleep by slapping the other side of the bed in hopes of hitting his target. Hoseok wakes just in time for Jeongguk to start undoubtedly wailing, and Seokjin desperately tries to shush the younger in fear of waking up the other members.
Hoseok is finally awakened from his slumber, less by Seokjin’s fatal punches and more of Jeongguk’s heart-wrenching whimpers. Seokjin mouths “accident” with no further explanation, and Hoseok understands in a heartbeat, empathy flooding his facial features like an open book. He scoots closer to the two on the bed and pats Jeongguk’s back, whispering soothing words in a similar fashion to the eldest hyung.
“Shouldn’t we get him in the bath or, you know, something?” Hoseok mutters to Seokjin, voice pitched below Jeongguk’s sobs.
“Yeah, yeah. I just— I want him to calm down.” However, his cries don’t seem to subside, so Seokjin forgets the previous plan. He tells himself that possibly Jeongguk will relax once the prospect of being cleaned up is suggested to him, so Seokjin tells him the idea. Jeongguk isn't opposed to the plan and lets himself be taken to the bathroom and manhandled out of his clothes by Seokjin while Hoseok keeps him sitting up right on the bathroom counter, but his tears still flow freely.
The bath, Seokjin would assume, is relaxing, regarding the way Jeongguk’s shoulder slouch in relief. While Seokjin wipes down the boy with a soapy washcloth with the help of Hoseok, Jeongguk still sniffles helplessly, throat sticky with tears.
At some point, Hoseok leaves to get Jeongguk clean clothes and to change the sheets, but not without a reassuring kiss to Jeongguk’s damp hair. Seokjin lifts Jeongguk under his armpits up and off the toilet seat, his towel still wrapped around his body, and tries to put him on his feet, except they don’t exactly seem to be cooperating. “Can you stand up, Gguk?” Seokjin asks, eyeing Jeongguk’s jelly-like legs, his feet not even attempting to find purchase on the bathroom tile, to which Jeongguk simply lets out a garbled moan that sounds like something along the lines of “noo,” and his cries build up once again by the added shame, which effectively breaks Seokjin’s heart. “Okay, shh. Oh, baby that’s alright, it’s okay, shh,” he mutters into the boy's ear, pulling him closer to his body with no hesitation, because it is okay, if Jeongguk is unable to, although it would be much easier to get him in some clothes if he were standing.
Jeongguk is brought back into the bedroom where Hoseok has nicely set up clean clothes consisting of Seokjin’s big pink comfy hoodie, no pants because Jeongguk usually doesn’t sleep with them anyways and it’s still warm outside, and a pull-up— which haven’t been taken out and put to use in a good while, back when Jeongguk would get so caught up in his self-image and his work as the maknae in a skyrocketing idol group and his world would come practically crashing down around him, only to find himself sometimes having trouble with feeling his body not all too well and accidents becoming a recurring issue; and both of them are guessing that now is one of those times.
When he’s put down on the bed, the tears start to fall once again and cries get louder but Hoseok is unhesitant to hush him with one hand wiping his never ending tears and the other running through his damp hair.
Seokjin makes quick work of slipping the diaper up Jeongguk’s legs before he completely loses his handle on things, wailing until Seokjin sits on the bed with him and Hoseok, ushering him to curl up into the expanse of Seokjin’s chest. Hoseok’s nimble fingers find their way into the tangled tufts of hair in the back of Jeongguk’s head, tenderly smoothing out the stubborn knots.
When Jeongguk’s tears don’t seem to subside, Seokjin becomes worried. “Bun, you have to tell me what you need.”
“Huh… huh-gry,” Jeongguk sighs, pushing his words through molasses.
“Oh, Gukkie… it’s so late, why don’t we get you something to drink instead, how’s that?” Jeongguk just huffs into Seokjin’s shoulder and he takes it as a yes.
With Seokjin’s pleading glace, Hoseok is quick to whip up a bottle of sweet warmed milk, returning to the bedroom with a comforting expression. Jeongguk is gently turned around in Seokjin’s embrace and Hoseok slips the tip of the bottle into his already parted lips.
Jeongguk eventually falls asleep like that, unconsciously still suckling on the bottle although the milk is nearly gone. Hoseok seamlessly replaces the bottle’s nipple with his pacifier and Jeongguk sighs in contentment in his sleep. Seokjin maneuvers Jeongguk into a more comfortable sleeping position, Hoseok not missing the chance to kiss Jeongguk’s salty cheeks.
As Jeongguk’s soft snores fill the room, Hoseok and Seokjin realize that although times tend to be tough, they’ll be okay.