Chapter Text
Peter Parker had a problem. Yeah, he supposed that was a good enough word for it. It wasn't the sort of world-ending, threat-to-everyone sort of problem he normally dealt with. Not something the Avengers could solve. That sort of problem he could deal with quickly and easily. No, his problem was more complicated than that, and definitely more terrifying than facing down Doctor Doom had ever been.
He'd just realized, recently, that he'd fallen in love with his best friend, Johnny Storm. Which was all kinds of complicated, for too many reasons. First of all, he should really say that Johnny was Spider-Man's best friend, not Peter's, given that Johnny had no idea they were the same person. And hardly knew Peter Parker at all. Johnny didn't even know what Spider-Man's face looked like under that mask. Not good. Then there was the fact that Johnny seemed to not really be attracted to guys at all.
Basically, it seemed hopeless.
He really hadn't ever expected to fall for Johnny. Their relationship had been one that started out fairly rockily—in fact, they both had hated each other's guts, mostly because they saw each other as rivals. Well, Johnny saw Spider-Man as a rival. Peter was a complete nonentity.
Spider-Man and the Human Torch were similar ages, both superheroes...except that from where Peter stood, Johnny had seemed to have it all. Fame, celebrity, good looks, fashionable clothes, wealth, a large, devoted family, and all the girls and cool cars he could ever possibly want. And the public adored him. Couldn't get enough of him and his dimples.
Peter, on the other hand, had been an impoverished, nondescript geek, while Spider-Man was fairly universally loathed, thanks to the Daily Bugle. He couldn't hold a candle to the famous, beloved teenage superhero that was Johnny Storm.
But after meeting Johnny—well, a few times—Peter had been less than impressed with anything other than his shockingly white, uniform teeth and golden hair. Johnny seemed too full of himself, too arrogant. He had it good, and he knew it. Peter could hardly make ends meet, most days. His life was a tragic mess. It simply hadn't seemed fair. Johnny didn't seem to deserve all he had.
But numerous costumed adventures with Johnny at his side had taught him that Johnny could actually be an admirable person at times. Deserving of his fame. Occasionally childish, it was true—but, Peter had to admit, he could be childish also, especially around Johnny, who always seemed to bring out the mischievous side of his nature, and made him behave like the young man he was.
And Johnny could be sweet, when he wanted to. And he was loyal, and so, so brave. His best quality was probably his utter devotion to his family, Sue and Reed and Ben, and his niece and nephew after they were born. Also, Peter had learned, Johnny was, when he wanted to be, shockingly smart. Peter was always surprised when Johnny would say something insightful. Sometimes he wondered if Johnny didn't act the fool intentionally in order to make those around him underestimate him. He'd have to ask him someday.
Suffice it to say, his feelings for Johnny had crept up on him without his even noticing it. He'd just caught himself staring at Johnny one day, and realized that he very badly wanted to kiss him. It had unnerved him. He didn't really know what to do about it.
He blamed it on Johnny's perfect golden hair. Had he mentioned the hair already? That was another of Johnny's good qualities. No. Great qualities. God, he just wanted to know what it felt like to run his fingers through that hair. Stupid hair.
“Get a grip, Peter,” he murmured to himself, as he waited for MJ to join him for coffee. “Johnny likes girls. He’s never gonna notice you.”
“Who’s never gonna notice you?” Mary Jane asked as she sat down, looking glorious in a very flattering green dress, and shrugging off a bright red leather coat. She was beautiful, but it seemed an effortless sort of beauty, as though it were as natural to her as breathing. Which it was. Anyone who looked at her could see instantly why she was such a successful supermodel. It was more than beauty--she just...glowed. Glittered when she moved, when she spoke, when she laughed. Peter always envied her that ability.
She also happened to be Peter’s best friend. They were devoted to each other, and Peter was so very grateful for MJ’s quiet love and support. It made him feel about as normal as someone who could walk up a wall could ever feel.
Didn't mean he couldn't lie to her, of course. Or try, rather. He never seemed to get far with his lies. She knew him too well. And was far too intelligent to fall for anyone's lies, regardless of how well she knew them.
“No one! Did I say something? I said nothing. Besides, it’s impolite to eavesdrop on people’s conversations with themselves.”
“Most people don’t have conversations with themselves out loud in crowded cafes. Or at all.”
“What can I say? I’m special.”
“That you are, Tiger,” she said with an affectionate smile. “Now then, stop deflecting and answer the question. You’ve been mopey lately. I assume it has to do with this boy you like.”
“Mopey? I haven’t been mopey. No mope here!”
“Hmph. More like dope. Seriously, Tiger, if you need to talk about something, you know I’m here for you,” she said, placing a comforting hand over his.
“Fine…” he grumbled. And then, reluctantly, he added, “Look, I just may or may not have a gigantic crush on Johnny Storm. Like I want to date him and have his babies gigantic.”
MJ stared at him for a few moments. In shock, he supposed. It was pretty unexpected. It had definitely surprised him. But then she grinned from ear to ear. “I knew it! You are not as good at keeping secrets as you think you are.”
Peter groaned. “Oh my god, is it that obvious? Does everyone know? Do you think Captain America knows? ‘Cause that would be embarrassing.” His eyes widened. “You don’t think Johnny knows, do you?”
“I’m sure he doesn’t. He’s not the sharpest tool in the box.”
“Hey! That’s my gigantic crush you’re insulting. My gigantic crush who will one day be the father of my children. Besides, he can be really smart when he wants to be. Despite sounding like a total idiot most of the time.”
“Yeah, he sounds like a total idiot ‘cause he kinda is. But so are you, so clearly you belong together.” Peter rolled his eyes and glared at her. She snickered.
“So what do I do about it? He doesn’t even know what I look like under the mask. But we hang out all the time as Spider-Man and the Human Torch…and we really get along. I think he likes me, as a friend at least. But I don’t know how he’d feel about Peter Parker, king of the nerds. We didn't exactly get along the first time we met out of costume, and our relationship hasn't changed much since then."
Mary Jane raised a quizzical eyebrow. Peter waved his hand dismissively. "I kinda took pictures of him without his hair. Long story. Hilarious, but long." He sighed. "Look, MJ, I don't know if he even likes guys. He only ever talks about girls he’s dated. Never mentions any guys.”
“Have you tried asking him if he likes guys?”
“No! That’s not the sort of thing that typically comes up in casual guy conversation. ‘Hey, Johnny, just wondering, do you like sticking your dick in guys’ butts?’ No, MJ, I have not asked him that.”
“You should try to bring it up casually. Mention that you like guys. See how he reacts.”
“That would just be so awkward. What if he laughs at me?”
“Hit him over the head with something very hard?”
“And mess up his awesome hair with all that blood?”’
MJ erupted in a laugh that was as musical and sweet as wind chimes. “You really are crushing hard, aren’t you?”
Peter nodded sadly. “Yeah. I am. I really am.”
MJ sighed. “Well, why don’t you go out clubbing with me tonight? You could use a break, Tiger. Forget about all of this and a certain arachnid superhero for one night.”
“I don’t know if I’m really in the mood, MJ. Plus, I can't really forget about Spidey. I have patrol. Important responsibilities as a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and Avenger and all that.”
“Peter, you're young. You deserve to take a night off every now and then. Live a little. Make yourself look pretty. Go to a nightclub. Find a cute guy who looks like Johnny, take him home, have your way with him, forget his name in the morning, and feel an overwhelming sense of shame, no doubt, since it’s you. That’s what I think you should do. For now. Eventually you’ll have to talk to Johnny about how you feel.”
“But talking to Johnny would mean potentially revealing my identity. I don’t know if I’m ready for that. The less people know the better. Too dangerous.”
“Peter, he’s a superhero. He lights himself on fire regularly. He’ll be fine.”
“A superhero who managed to keep his identity secret for all of five minutes. You see why I’m worried.”
“He’d keep yours. I’m sure of it. Now, about the club idea?”
“I don’t really do one-night stands, MJ.”
“Well, tonight seems like a good night to make an exception.”
Peter studied his coffee intently. It might feel good to take a night off, try to forget his woes. Still not sure about the one-night stand thing. But drinking with MJ, dancing, and having fun? He could live with that.
“Ugh, fine, but I don’t promise I’ll take a guy home.”
She smiled triumphantly. “That’s what you say now, Tiger. Wait until you see the guys I find for you. But first, we need to get you new clothes.”
“I can’t afford expensive new clothes, MJ!”
“Supermodel. I make a lot of cash. I’m buying.”
“I feel like your kept man.”
“No, Tiger. Feel like a friend who needs cheering up. And I am an awesome friend.”
“That you are, MJ.”
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As they left the cafe a while later, arm in arm, to go shopping, Mary Jane looked over at Peter and announced, "I demand only one thing in return for your fabulous new clothes."
Peter turned to look at her, concern flickering briefly across his face.
"Tell me the story of Johnny and his missing hair."
Peter laughed, delighted and very relieved. "I can live with that. Deal."
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Peter and MJ walked into the club she’d carefully chosen. Dressed in clothes she had also carefully chosen. Peter fidgeted. He wasn’t sure he liked them. They were a bit tight. Especially the dark red leather pants that looked like they'd been painted onto his legs. He was even afraid to sit down because he was terrified they'd rip somehow. He wasn't entirely certain how he'd managed to get into them in the first place.
The rest of his outfit was comprised of a matching leather jacket with three-quarter sleeves over a metallic gold, sleeveless shirt, and fingerless gloves precisely the same shade of red as the jacket and pants.
And MJ had done something to his hair, so that it stuck up at weird angles. It was also covered in some kind of dust that made it shimmer as though it were made of gold, like his fairly ostentatious shirt.
She'd even--he still wasn't sure how--talked him into wearing a bit of make-up. Scarlet eyeshadow, golden lipstick, some kind of golden and metallic red dust traced tastefully in light, hardly visible trails around his face.
When he’d looked in the mirror, he’d hardly recognized himself. He actually looked kind of...pretty. Exotic, even. Not words he ever thought he'd use to describe himself.
MJ had shaken her head and laughed incredulously when he'd said that. "Always selling yourself short, Tiger. You look stunning," she'd assured him.
He wasn't sure how she'd done it. He began to suspect that expert shopping and incredible makeovers were MJ's secret superpower. He'd have to test that theory on Logan or someone else in dire need of a makeover.
He still couldn't help but feel a bit silly in the clothes and that make-up MJ had chosen. Kind of like an impostor. He'd never wear these clothes of his own volition. All he could do was hope he didn't run into anyone he knew. Like Luke Cage. He'd probably end up rolling on the floor laughing at Peter. No, wait. Luke had once worn a tiara as part of his costume. No one who'd ever worn a tiara for any reason had the right to judge anything anyone else ever wore.
Nevertheless, this was one of those times that made him very glad that so very few were privy to the secret of his true identity. Even if they saw him, they wouldn't know who he was. Thank god. Unless they knew Peter Parker, not Spider-Man. Shit.
With that thought, he turned to MJ and said with not a small amount of trepidation, “I'm really not sure how I feel about these clothes, MJ. Or the make-up. Isn't it all kind of…” He shrugged, at a loss for words.
She shook her head. Peter was nervous again. Just his insecurity. He never seemed to realize what a great guy he was. Or that he was actually fairly handsome, albeit in an androgynous sort of way, which MJ had made sure to emphasize in her expert makeover.
She'd decided that her current mission was to help her friend overcome his shyness and insecurity. She knew better than anyone what a hard life he'd had. How single-minded he'd had to be in order to survive. Between school, work, and superheroing, there had rarely ever been time for anything else in Peter's life. For any fun.
She thought it was heartbreaking. Peter had missed out on so much that made life worthwhile. So many amazing, wondrous things. And MJ was determined to push him to experience them. To take risks in his private life. This was a guy who'd jump off a building without thinking twice, but was tongue-tied and anxious at the thought of talking to a boy he liked.
So MJ had developed a cunning plan. First step: constantly reassure him. Boost his confidence as much as possible. Make him realize that guys actually would find him attractive, would want to date him. Hopefully that would help him gain the courage to open up to Johnny about his feelings. She stopped and put her gentle, soothing hands on his tense shoulders.
“Relax, Peter!" she said softly. "You look fantastic. Fashionable. Handsome. Guys will be tripping over themselves for you." She tapped her chest. "Supermodel. I know fashion. Stop being so insecure, and trust your MJ.”
The tension eased out of his shoulders a bit. "True. I should trust my MJ."
After arriving at that conclusion, his face seemed to brighten, until he looked around and frowned, suddenly realizing that the writhing, colorful bodies on the dance floor were almost all male ones, except for the odd woman here and there. Most of whom seemed to be dancing alone. “Um…MJ…is this a gay nightclub?”
Poor innocent Peter. He might know a hundred different ways to take down a supervillain, but when it came to New York's nightlife, he was clueless. She laughed. “Well, of course. Where else are we gonna get you a guy to hook-up with? A straight nightclub? So…take your pick, Peter Parker. Everyone here is gay. And therefore fair game for you. Haven't you been to a gay nightclub before?”
He shook his head. No, he really hadn't. And she was still going on about the one-night stand thing. He still wasn’t sure about it. Time to deflect. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. “Even the girls are gay?"
"Well, you're here to pick up a guy, not a girl, so ignore them. But they probably come here for the same reason I do."
"Which would be....?”
“I like to come here when I want to drink and dance without getting groped by a billion guys. Now you’re the one who’s gonna have to worry about that,” she replied, poking his chest with a mischievous look in her eyes.
Peter pinched the bridge of his nose. “Can we at least get a drink before I get groped? I’m going to need to be very drunk if that’s gonna happen.”
She grinned. “Who knows? You might enjoy it. But yeah, Tiger. Let’s get you as many drinks as you like.”
He glanced down pensively for a moment. Then his eyes shot up as he asked hopefully, "Can it be one of the pretty fruity drinks? I like those."
Mary Jane tried to hide the smile that the thought of seeing Peter Parker drinking a colorful cocktail provoked. "Yeah, of course. You've come to the perfect place for that."
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Peter leaned carelessly against the bar, alone, a pretty pink and blue drink in his hand. He'd lost count of how many he'd had at this point. MJ had kept buying them for him. He thought he'd probably had a few too many. But he felt...nice. Kinda relaxed. He didn't even care that MJ had abandoned him to the potential groping. She'd seen some friends of hers, and gone off to talk and dance. It was okay. He knew she was keeping an eye on him, and would come back if he needed her.
She’d winked before leaving, and said, “This is your chance. Look handsome and mysterious. Guys will come talk to you.”
“I don’t do handsome and mysterious, MJ! More like geeky and desperate.”
“Whatever works for you, Tiger. Who am I to judge? But somehow I don't think you'll pull it off in that get-up. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” She patted his cheek encouragingly and smiled. "Just don't be nervous."
MJ hadn’t been gone long when he felt someone tap his shoulder and say, “Can I buy you a drink, gorgeous?”
He turned and found himself gazing spellbound into the very handsome, very blue eyes of Johnny Storm. And the hair, of course. It was kind of mesmerizing, that hair. Especially now that he was drunk, he was having a hard time not staring at it.
After he finally managed to tear his eyes away, he discovered that Johnny was wearing a simple white t-shirt, over which he'd thrown a long blue coat that matched the azure shade of his eyes perfectly. And tight black jeans. It somehow managed to give the appearance of being simultaneously casual, effortless, and, above all, glamorous. He looked like a movie star.
“J-Johnny?” Peter managed to sputter, shocked.
Johnny flashed his trademark smile. The one that melted the hearts of teenagers everywhere. It wasn't fair that he could smile like that. And how did he manage to smile like that anyways? Peter swore he actually saw light glint off of his teeth like in one of those cheesy toothpaste commercials. Maybe he’d had too much to drink. Damn that MJ. He could really use a clear mind right about now.
“Ah good! You know who I am. Less introductions necessary." Johnny frowned, wrinkling his perfect forehead. Why was everything about him so perfect? "We've met before, though, haven't we? Aren't you that Parker guy who takes photos of Spidey? Always hanging around taking pictures of stuff? Didn't recognize you for a minute there. You look...different. Good different. You should dress like this more often.”
Peter chuckled nervously. “Uh...thanks. But I kinda feel more comfortable in my regular clothes. These are a bit...flashy. Besides, I don't think Jameson would respond well to his male photographers wearing eyeshadow to work. Or gold lipstick. I'd either be yelled at or fired.”
"His loss. Besides, there's nothing wrong with flashy. It works for you. You look great."
Peter frowned. His alcohol-addled brain barely beginning to process the situation. Johnny was in a gay nightclub. Unexpected. Especially since he seemed to be completely at ease. As though the surroundings were familiar. Almost as though he came here often. And now it really sounded like he was hitting on him. Was he hitting on him? That was...Peter wasn't sure what to think about any of this. It was perplexing.
“I’m sorry, I just—you’re gay?" he blurted out before being able to stop himself. Self-censorship rarely came easy to him, less so now that he'd had a few. "I thought you liked women. I see your picture in the paper all the time with beautiful women hanging off your arm.”
“Those are just the pictures they print. They like to cultivate that image: Johnny Storm, incorrigible ladies' man, so I give them what they want. Truth is, I’ll sleep with anybody who’s hot. I don’t care if they’re guys or girls, or anything else. Aliens, too, who don't really fit into any category we've got here on Earth. I think they're all beautiful. And I enjoy that kind of beauty. Human ideas about sexuality and gender just seem so narrow-minded once you've visited other planets."
There he went, being all deep and insightful again. And somehow managing to do it while talking about sex. Not fair.
Peter frowned, appearing to be rather puzzled, perhaps a bit put out. "How did I not know this about you?"
Johnny's turn to look confused. "Why would you? It isn't exactly common knowledge."
Peter looked a bit flustered, and quickly changed the subject. Of course Peter Parker wouldn't know something so personal about Johnny. But Spider-Man would. He wondered why Johnny'd never told him. Spidey. Whatever. There was something he still didn't understand, though. "So...why are you talking to me, then?"
Johnny squinted and tilted his head. "Because I think you're beautiful. Obviously."
"Me? You think I'm beautiful? Me?"
"Well...yeah" he replied, his eyes moving slowly, sensually, appreciatively down and then back up Peter's body. Peter probably shouldn't have found that as arousing as he did. Johnny's intense gaze finally met Peter's, and he smiled at what he saw in it. "Told you that look works for you. It's very flattering. You look like a goddamn work of art." He looked down and added, perfectly seriously, "Gotta say, though, that geeky look...I can't say I don't think it's pretty hot too. I've noticed you around."
Surprising. Johnny was full of surprises tonight, it seemed. "Uh...thanks." He didn't really know what else to say.
"Look," Johnny said, "you seem a bit uncomfortable. If you aren't interested in me at all, I can go. It's fine. Really. The whole celebrity superhero thing doesn't work for everyone, I know."
"No!" Peter said, almost too quickly. "Um. I mean, it's fine. You can stay." Probably a bad idea. Probably a very bad idea. He should just let Johnny leave. This could get complicated. But he couldn't ruin this. Not now that he knew Johnny was interested in the real him, in Peter Parker. He wasn't sure how or why...but the thought that Johnny could like him just for him made him feel content.
"Good. Now that's settled," Johnny said, a dazzling and very unfair smile spreading slowly across his face. The room seemed all the brighter for it. It was as though someone had turned on a very bright sunlamp in Peter's brain. His knees felt kinda weak at the sight. Oh boy. He was definitely in trouble now.
"So," Johnny continued, "do you want that drink or would you rather dance with me?"
Peter had been hoping Johnny would ask him to dance since he'd felt that tap on the shoulder and turned to find the man of his dreams (literally, though he'd never admit that to Johnny) standing there. And now he kinda hoped there'd be some groping involved. He really thought he might actually enjoy it. He blushed. He'd have to remember not to tell MJ she'd been right.
"Dance," Peter replied, smiling back shyly. "Just, uh, don't expect me to be an amazing dancer. I don't exactly go clubbing often."
Johnny laughed. "That's okay, Peter. Just follow my lead."
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