Work Text:
She’s never seen him in short sleeves.
Did he even own any? Whenever she saw him he was in fancy suits or sweaters or the occasional hoodie but never a t-shirt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
JT had asked him about it once, it was the annual summer work party, a casual affair. Everyone was reminding Malcolm through the day that it was a casual dress code, no three-piece suits. He had shown up in a comfortable gray sweater with a plate of surprisingly amazing homemade cookies.
He had made a passing quip, asking him if he was too fancy for a t-shirt. Malcolm had locked up, going stiff before letting out a nervous laugh waving it off without directly answering, Gil eyeing him with a worried look.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A sweltering hot summer day found them on a crime scene, thankfully not as gory as they were used to. Malcolm was in a suit, complete with the jacket as he analyzed the body, sweat pooling at his brow. Looking at him was making her hot.
“How are you not overheating in that?”
He turned to her a look of surprise crossing his features, that and… fear?
“I’m used to it.” He gestured wildly “You know, I had to wear suits often as a child to mother’s socialite parties.” He quickly went back to looking at the room.
She did not know, and she was going to voice as much when Malcolm said “Where’s the next body?”
Everyone gave each other confused looks as Malcolm launched into a spiel about why there should be another body. After a half an hour search of the area they eventually found the second victim in a broom closet, horribly mangled. Malcolm looked giddy as Dani swallowed back bile, her lunch threatening to come up. So much for a non-gory scene.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dani leaned back in her chair, groaning at her full stomach. Malcolm got up and started collecting the plates, smiling as he took up hers. “You good?” He asked playfully. She gave him a half-hearted glare.
Gil had invited them over for a celebratory dinner after they finally solved their big case. He had cooked up a storm, JT had gone early to help him with the grill and Malcolm had tagged along to help with some of the sides and dessert. At least she wasn’t the only one who came on time, she and Edrisa had shown up at the same time. Dani brought a store-bought chocolate cake as her cooking skills ranged from grilled cheese to heating canned soup.
She gave a low moan, she had eaten a lot but didn’t feel too bad about it as her co-workers were all in similar states.
Well, all her co-workers except Malcolm.
“I can get those kid.” Gil said as he moved to help Malcolm with the plates.
“No, no I got it.” He waved Gil off.
He had barely eaten, taking more to pushing around the food on his plate, only managing to swallow a few bites. The food was absolutely delicious but she noticed Malcolm winced at every bite.
He worked steadily until there was only one pyrex dish left. Malcolm had taken more cleared dishes to the kitchen, arms too full to carry it.
She could take it for him, it was only one dish, or she could wait to see if one of her teammates would volunteer. She surveyed the room, everyone else was drifting off in food comas. She sighed, so much for that.
She grabbed the dish, making her way to the kitchen. Malcolm was lightly rinsing plates before he put them in the dishwasher. His sleeves were rolled up, showing thin but muscled arms and various scars.
One in particular caught her eye. It was gnarly, running up from his wrist to the middle of his arm.
Everything suddenly clicked into place.
Why he never wore short sleeves around them.
He caught her staring, following her eyes to see what she was looking at.
“Oh, I-” he fumbled, the plate slipping out of his hands into the sink, splashing water on him.
He took a couple steps back trying to get away from the spray, nearly tripping over his own feet. Her hand seemed to move on autopilot as it shot out and grabbed his arm, steadying him, her other hand maintained its firm hold on the empty dish.
“Woah there, you good?”
“Yea..Yes! Yes I’m…fine.”
She released her grip on him and he shakily walked forward, turning off the tap. He sighed as he gripped the sink, head hung down.
“That...that was a long time ago. I-” He started.
Dani gently put the dish in the sink then lightly touched his shoulder. “You don’t have to tell me.”
He looked up at the contact, relief in his eyes.
“Let’s work on these dishes, yea?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dani groaned as she snuggled further into Malcolm’s side. He chuckled as he pulled her closer, gently placing down his cup of earl grey lest it spill, then bundled more of the shared blanket into her lap.
There was a movie in the background as they cuddled on the couch, something Malcolm had picked out but she was too caught up in the warmth of her partner by her side and the coziness of the weighted blanket over their legs to actually pay attention. She yawned grabbing his hand to play with it turning over his palm and threading their hands together as she compared their palm sizes.
Dani released his hand. His sleeves were still rolled up from cleaning up after dinner, which was just as impressive as all the other times he had cooked for her. She took in the scars, the one trailing up his arm standing out the most, pink stark against pale skin.
She tapped his wrist gently catching his attention. “Is this ok?” She asked.
He bit his lip, then nodded “Yes, it’s ok.”
She trailed her index finger over the scar, feeling the ridges and bumps.
He inhaled, “I was 15.”
Dani looked up, “You don’t have to-”
He shifted a little, “No I want to.”
Malcolm’s gaze dropped as he started again “ I was 15, everything was becoming too... much. I don’t know, it was a gradual buildup I guess, I just wanted it to stop, the hallucinations, the voices, the pain. I had gotten into self-harming a little before that, I had broken a sharpener to get to the blade. No one had noticed at first since I wore long sleeves more or less all the time but it wasn’t long before Gil started noticing my weirder than usual behavior. I couldn’t let them know but I needed it. Things got out of hand and I went on a downward spiral. I was too much of a burden, my father’s son, a monster. I got into the bathtub and-.” He gestured toward his arm.
“Gil was the one that found me, said he had a feeling when he was driving home from work, that he needed to check up on me. I had left the door open. He tried to stop the bleeding, my mother called the paramedics. My sister was at riding practice thankfully.”
He sniffled, wiping his eyes. “When I woke up, they were all so distraught Mom, Ainsley, Gil...Jackie. I remember Ainsley crying and begging me not to leave her. I felt so terrible and guilty that I promised never to do it again.”
He was full on crying now and she had to blink several times to keep the tears out of her eyes, it proved unsuccessful as they spilled over her cheeks. She pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly until he stopped shaking. She released him when he started to pull away.
She reached out and touched his cheek gently, “Thank you for telling me.” She murmured. “I’m so, so glad you’re still here. You make me happier than anybody ever has.”
He gave her a wet smile. “Thank you.” He said softly. “You make me want to try harder, to do better.”
She gave him a soft kiss, brief but full of meaning before snuggling back into his side, her thoughts filled about how much she loved him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They were both in bed, drifting off when Dani spoke.
“Do you regret it?”
“What?” He croaked out.
“Like, do you regret that It didn’t work? Do you still feel like the world would be better off...without you?”
Malcolm hummed before replying. “Sometimes, but I think that I’m more curious about what the future holds. I’m not really in a place where I can say I regret it, but I want to be and I want to work towards that, where I can say I’m happy it didn’t work.”
“Ok.” Dani said “Ok.” She could work with that. They could work on that, to getting him to that place. Together.