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Kate isn’t really his partner. She operates on her own. Therefore, it is alright if she—without telling Bruce, he might mention—runs over to Metropolis, battles a generic villain with Supergirl, and gets Clark on his ass.
That’s what Bruce tells himself when Clark sees it fit to drop by Wayne Manor. And Alfred, the traitor, lets him in with a smile and an offer for tea and cookies.
“So this Batwoman I’ve been hearing about,” Clark says carefully.
“You haven’t been hearing about her,” Bruce grumbles. He makes sure that no one hears about the other Gotham vigilantes, so they don’t get hurt and dragged into the League’s messes. “You heard from her.”
Clark blinks. “So you are working with her?”
“Batman works alone,” Bruce snaps. His phone buzzes, and he pockets it discreetly, knowing that Dick wants to head over to Barbara’s. If Bruce doesn’t respond for long enough, he’ll just go without asking.
Kate chooses that exact moment to pop in, hug Alfred, and snag a cookie. She slept at the Manor the night before due to an injury she wants to wait out. “Hiya Bruce,” she greets, smirking.
Clark does get adorably flustered, so it’s not much of a loss. “Sorry, am I interrupting—?”
“I’m his cousin and a lesbian,” Kate informs him flatly. “You look familiar. Bruce, is this a friend of yours?”
Bruce glances at Kate, then at Clark, and replies, “Unfortunately.”
Clark practically squawks. “I—I came here for an interview,” he mumbles, the kind of lie used by someone whose secret identity is a pair of glasses.
Kate hops onto the table. It’s a good thing Alfred isn’t here to scold her about table manners. For that matter, it’s a good thing Dick isn’t here, he would just copy her. (Bruce resents how Kate is the cool aunt.)
“Looks like you’re done.” Her voice shifts into a gravelly one, her eyes narrowing to resemble white slits. “So get out.”
Seconds after Clark stammers out an apology and leaves, Bruce bangs his head against the table.
“That is mahogany, Master Bruce!”
Bruce paces in front of the monitor, his hands twitching to punch something. It wouldn’t do him any good, not tonight, and he’s afraid he might just snap.
Dick had abandoned his tracker somewhere around Jump City and Coast City. Bruce has no way to look out for Dick, check how he’s doing, so he monitors Jump City’s crime feed. Dick isn’t the kind of person to sit back when there are people to be saved.
And in the meantime, he could ask Hal if he’s spotted a teenager in bright red, green, and yellow.
Hal calls him first.
“Hey Bats, there’s this kid, he’s gone now, but—”
Typical Hal Jordan.
“When did you see him and where did he go?” Bruce growled.
“I don’t know, that’s the thing! He just kinda appeared and disappeared, just like you!” Despite all his worry, pride blooms in Bruce’s chest at Dick confusing Hal. “He’s definitely a Gotham kid.”
Bruce sighs loudly. “Coast City is the farthest away from Gotham you could get. Why would a,”—and here comes the implied finger quotes to rile Hal up—“Gotham kid run all the way over there?”
“So he’s not yours?” Hal asks.
Bruce hangs up.
The less the League knows about his kid, the better.
(He makes the front page of the Jump Tribune the next day, surrounded by other child heroes. The headline declares them to be “Teen Titans” and largely speculates about who Robin is and where did he come from.
Bruce decides he needs to make a visit to Jump’s branch of Wayne Enterprises.)
Jason is okay when it comes to that particular rule; he has little interest in venturing outside of Gotham, and honestly, Bruce could use a break.
Of course, that’s not what he gets.
He and Jason fight over brutality to criminals. Jason thinks they deserve it, and it hurts, because that’s the exact mindset he had before Dick came into his life. Before Kate began her vigilante career—before he realized he affected others with that mindset. It hurts because Gotham has already twisted this young child to suit her ways, and Bruce could do nothing about it.
He doesn’t regret his decision to bench Jason. He just wishes his other son would just… not be a meddling pest, for one day.
As he reviews the security feed, he watches Dick—now Nightwing—sneaks into Jason’s bedroom, his wicked smirk promising nothing good.
Sure enough, Jason bounds into the cave six hours later, a grin on his face and proclaiming that Wonder Woman is his favorite superhero. (Bruce will have to talk to Diana about that later. Not because he’s jealous, but because he needs Diana to keep Jason’s existence on the downlow.)
(And then Jason dies, and instead Bruce calls Diana to inform her that her biggest fan is… gone.)
Tim, Tim is fine. He and Bruce don’t argue, not like his predecessors did, Tim doesn’t show any inclination to disobey Bruce at all, and he’s smart enough to figure out Robin has to be hidden so he can be safe.
(Because he made a mistake, with Jason. Kate and Dick made him soft, made him cocky, and instead of a quiet robin working from the shadows Jason was a exuberant robin who showed off his plumage, and…
Well.)
But, as par for the course, things never seem to go his way.
Because, for whatever reason, the Flash comes to Gotham, bringing his grandson from the future. And Tim finds them, starts talking to Impulse, and instantly brightens up at the thought of a friend. And maybe Bruce has been too hard at Tim—he wants to keep the kid safe, but he also needs a life.
So Bruce allows it, on the promise that Impulse will keep Robin’s existence a secret.
He should have known that it is a futile wish to keep a speedster’s mouth shut.
Barry flashes into the cave every now and then, the lightning scaring off the bats. He and Bruce watch Tim and Bart laugh together, and they begin to work on cases together.
Barry leans over one day, when Impulse and Robin are doing a quick patrol before bed (it’s a school night), and says, “Did you think to check the chemical composition in the dirt from the footprints? Because I’d imagine Scarecrow’s is super distinctive.”
Bruce had not.
In return, he hums and replies, “The Reverse-Flash is probably hiding right under your nose. He knows you, Barry, he knows you’ll search the entire city, except places you think are safe.”
Barry’s eyes widen, and Bruce thinks that maybe people knowing him and his family isn’t so bad.
Barbara’s not even Batgirl when she meets the Justice League. She’s Oracle, and she interrupts their planning in the middle of a surprise worldwide attack from Aquaman’s half-brother. It’s long and complicated, but the gist is that Orm is fed up with land-dwellers, and is going to use the ocean to topple cities on coastlines.
“He’s got to be using something to augment his power,” Barbara’s voice crackles over the League monitor.
Everyone gets into a fighting stance immediately. “Who are you?” Dinah demands, ready to use her Canary Cry.
Bruce rubs the bridge of his nose. Decides that he doesn’t want to pay for repairs again, sighs, and tells the League, “Don’t worry, she’s with me.” Ish. Kind of.
They turn to him and look at him with peculiar expressions. Yes, he gets it, he works alone but suddenly there’s Batwoman and Robin and Nightwing and now Oracle popping out of the woodwork. Batwoman and Nightwing are barely affiliated with him anymore, and Oracle does what she wants, it’s not a big deal.
“Thanks, B. Anyways…” Barbara continues to detail a plan to attack whatever magi-tech Orm may be using to take control of the entire ocean.
Bruce ignores the glances thrown his way.
Selina, well, she isn’t his partner, not in the sense that they work together. She is a villain (or anti-hero, as she likes to go by these days); therefore, the Justice League already knows her. Bruce doesn’t need nor particularly want to hide her.
They run into each other while the League are in Gotham, and it’s an encounter that makes Bruce regret his life decisions.
Dressed as Catwoman, Selina pauses on the rooftop she is on, pretending to look surprised to see them. “The Justice League,” she says, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. “A pleasure.”
“We’re not here for you,” Bruce responds, his fingers twitching. They’re here for the Legion of Doom, and it seems like Joker’s taken the reins this time around.
“Oh, no, I wouldn’t imagine they were here for little old me,” Selina agrees, moving forward in strong strides. She stops when she is face-to-face with Bruce. “But you?” She traces her gloved finger over his lip. “A girl can only dream.”
Bruce steps away. “We have more pressing matters to deal with.”
“Let me kiss you first,” says Selina. “Honey, don’t be a bore.”
This is ridiculous. If he and Selina even had pet names, honey wouldn’t be anywhere near what he would call her. But his cheeks warm anyways, and he can hear Barry, Oliver, and Hal giggling at his expense.
“Later,” he concedes, and the giggling only grows more maniacal.
Clark hovers beside him and rests a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. Bruce flicks it away, scowling.
Stephanie goes by many names: Spoiler, Robin, Batgirl. It’s under none of those that she meets the Justice League. She meets them as Stephanie Brown, sass extraordinaire who definitely sees Bruce in the back.
“Oh my god, oh my god!” Stephanie squeals, her bright grin not quite matching up with her eyes. She throws herself at Dinah. “Black Canary! I’ve always wanted to meet you. You’re, like, my idol.”
“Nice to meet you too, kid,” Dinah replies, sounding pleased with herself.
Because it’s right after a fight, they all have time to spare. Stephanie gushes about every single League member until she finds Bruce, staring at the ground and hoping an emergency would call them away.
Stephanie scrutinizes him for a moment, then gestures dismissively. “Eh.”
The League teases Bruce about his wounded pride all the way up to the Watchtower.
And later, Stephanie “bumps into” Dinah as Spoiler. They take down the villain of the week together, and Dinah says, “It was cool meeting you.”
“Oh, you’ve already met me,” Stephanie responds, Bruce hearing it loud and clear over the comms.
Bruce rings up Dinah. “Don’t tell anyone about Spoiler. Outside of Gotham, she doesn’t exist.”
Dinah pieces it together instantly. He can hear her smirk. “No worries, Bruce. My lips are sealed.”
Cassandra is the sweetest, best child he’s had. Bruce will never admit to having favorites, but once, he sarcastically asked the rest of his kids, “Who’s my favorite?” and they all pointed to Cassandra.
Surely she won’t reveal herself to the outside world. Surely as a trained assassin she knows how to slink around in the shadows, never betraying her existence.
Maybe Bruce asks for too much.
Bruce is in the middle of a League meeting when it happens. Diana flies up into the air and asks for volunteers to go to fix whatever’s going on at Rimbor right now.
When only a few raise their hands, Diana raises her eyebrows. She goes to stand in front of Clark. “Do you know anyone who’d like to go?” she questions, with the full force of the Greek gods behind her.
Clark sighs immediately. (Weak, Bruce thinks to himself, laughing.) “I’ll ask Kara.”
Diana smiles, and it feels like the heavens have opened. “That’s all I ask of you.” She moves, until she is in front of Bruce now. “And what about you, Batman?”
She isn’t using the Lasso of Truth, which means Batman can get away with minimum facial expressions that reveal nothing. He isn’t letting any of his children go into outer space. What’s even out there? Just more aliens, potentially hostile aliens at that, and planets they weren’t meant to breathe on. They’ll pass.
“I work alone,” he intones, the words rising naturally after the last couple years.
“Liar,” his darling Cassandra’s voice rings out, and Bruce resists the urge to loudly groan and collapse onto the Justice League table.
She jumps down from the rafters opposite to Bruce.
Barry yelps and curses; Cassandra nearly lands on him, but the small twitch of her mouth tells Bruce that she meant to frighten Barry specifically.
He loves his daughter.
Meanwhile, Diana’s face flattens and she stares at him. “Batman?”
Bruce doesn’t give in to the temptation to sigh just as Clark did. Instead, he grunts. “Batgirl, meet the Justice League. Justice League, meet Batgirl.”
Cassandra waves.
“Batgirl, would you like to go on a space mission?”
Cassandra shakes her head frantically, though the movement of her hands lends Bruce to believe she is a touch curious.
He dares to look Diana in the eye. “See? No one.”
Diana relaxes and moves on, though every once in a while, she narrows her eyes in Bruce’s direction.
“J’onn’s having trouble with his cat,” Bruce grumbles to Tim one night, unfortunately in the earshot of one Damian Wayne.
The next night, when he can’t find Damian anywhere in the Manor or the cave, he knows he screwed up.
Bruce finds him, an hour later, in J’onn’s apartment, cooing to his cat. And in full Robin gear.
Damian stiffens upon Bruce’s approach. J’onn, likely sensing this, swoops in to greet Bruce.
“Batman,” J’onn says. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” Bruce nods towards Damian. “Ah, a child of yours? He has been most helpful with Choco.”
(Of course J’onn would name his cat after his favorite cookies.)
Damian stands, back still facing Bruce.
J’onn smiles serenely. “Robin is welcome to come back at any time.” A package of Chocos falls into J’onn’s hand. As Damian turns to leave, J’onn places a singular Choco in his hand.
Damian scoffs. “I’m not a child, and I do not need instant gratification.” Still, he bites into the cookie, perking up at the taste.
“Don’t tell anyone,” Bruce commands before pushing himself and Damian out the door.
By the time Duke enters the fold, Bruce is ready to beg.
“It’s a dangerous world out there,” he tells Duke, “and it only gets more dangerous if people know you’re a teen vigilante.” Teen, not kid, he knows. Calling them kids is the fastest way to have them not listen to what you say.
Duke nods, slowly. “So, I only operate in Gotham.”
Bruce blows out a breath, relieved. “Yes, yes, that’s exactly it.” Finally someone would listen to him.
He spoke too soon.
Duke doesn’t meet anyone in person, but he does call... well. Why his first choice is Oliver Queen is beyond Bruce, but it happens.
Bruce turns down the hallway, and Duke is on the phone, drilling Oliver. “And did he always eat burgers with a fork and a knife? Is that a rich people thing? Or is he just weird?”
Before Oliver ruins his reputation with stories of what Bruce was like in his teen years, Bruce snatches the phone away from Duke. “Don’t talk to him,” he growls into the phone.
“You know, Bruce,” Oliver starts, “I think the whole Brucie Wayne thing has gone too far.”
Bruce hangs up and pops two ibuprofen tablets into his mouth dry. Duke’s jaw drops.
“Never mind the burger,” Duke says, “that’s the weirdest thing I’ve seen you do so far, weirder than the furry thing, even.”
He needs to stop taking in kids.
Alien invasions happen every year, but this one brings its own sense of foreboding.
Clark is giving a passionate speech, high in the air. “Bring everyone you can, because we’re going to need everyone we can get!”
They all turn to Bruce. He opens his mouth to reply.
“Let me guess,” Clark says wryly.
“I work alone?” the entire League choruses.
Clark beams at the League, before his expression does a heel turn and reroutes itself to Bruce. “What about Batwoman?”
“And Nightwing?” Hal chimes in.
Diana unsheathes her sword. “Hasn’t your second Robin come back to life? Or perhaps that girl who joined our meeting not so long ago.” Murmurs of “Second?” arise from League members.
Barry zooms forward, a blur of lightning that coalesces in front of the League. “Red Robin is more than capable,” he says, arms crossed. “And so is your wife—I mean girlfriend! I meant girlfriend!”
Bruce glares at him. Barry wilts.
But Dinah Lance doesn’t. “Spoiler kicked ass when I met her,”—there’s a cheeky little grin there, one that refers to their actual first meeting—“and she’ll kick ass here.”
“Your son, the one that came to visit me, I think he would be more than adequate,” J’onn tells him. “Perhaps the woman who hacked our computers.”
“Not to mention that new one talking on the phone with me the other day!” Oliver pipes up.
“If you would have let me speak,” Bruce says, sending a stern look to all the League members, “I would have told you that they were coming here as we speak.”
The Batmobile squeals on the pavement, stopping just inches away from Arthur. He eyes it and slowly moves away.
The door opens, and Bats comes tumbling out. First is Kate, swearing up a storm and demanding to know who let Red Hood drive. (Bruce would also like to know, seeing as Jason hadn’t lived long enough to get his driver’s license.)
Then comes Cassandra, the only one to exit the vehicle with grace. Stephanie falls out a moment after, followed by Tim who lands on top of her, and they bicker while on the ground.
Damian steps over them with his nose turned high, but Duke waits for them to get up. Dick rolls down the roof to leap over everyone and have a dramatic landing. This turns out to be a distraction for Selina sneaking around to sit on the car’s hood. Jason jumps out swiftly after them, gun cocked.
The Justice League comms crackle. Barbara’s voice filters through, low and gravelly to mock Bruce.
“Batfam… assemble.”
bonus
Alfred watches in the Batcave, a contented smile on his face. He's so proud of his son, and all his grandchildren.