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It starts off as just an itch, a feeling of weightlessness and a twitch between the shoulders. It starts off that way but it spirals pretty quickly into a feeling of being completely unprotected, exposed to the world and strangely loose.
Roman is used to it. And in fact it's a very manageable feeling when it hits, usually, because he has playlists ready to distract and disrupt his brain from the panic, ice cubes to focus on, and his prized possession; a weighted blanket. It settles so nicely on his shoulders and grounds him back in place, and has the added bonus of usually sending him off into a nap, which has proven to be something he sorely needs about seven or eight times out of ten.
But today there is no blanket to be found, and although the ice cubes and the music initially helped to get him moving enough to find the thing, now it's just getting worse again. The disruption to his usual routine doesn't help, and he has to rip the earbuds out and start humming long, loud notes so he won't dissociate before he can find the damn blanket, wherever it's gone.
"Roman?" Virgil asks, appearing at the bottom of the stairs and eyeing him from under his long bangs. "You're doing the hum. Everything okay?"
Roman shakes his head, still loudly humming, trying to feel the vibrato of the notes vibrating around the inside of his mouth as he pushes the couch around to check behind it. He flaps his hand, and Virgil hurries over to take it, squeezing it tightly, flat between his own two palms. It's enough to free up his voice.
"Can't find the blanket?! I'm like sand, V, I need the blanket."
"Shit," Virgil mutters. "It might have ended up in the wash after the slime bomb Remus got us with the other day." At Roman's widening eyes he hurries to keep talking. "But that's not for sure! What can we do instead? What did you do before the blanket?"
It forces Roman to think and his breathing evens a little. What did they do? That was before Virgil, but after the split, and it feels like decades ago. Patton suggested… "You could lie on me?" He says with a wince, but Virgil just starts tugging him towards the couch with a determined expression. The lack of hesitation is deeply reassuring and when he shows Virgil how to lie stacked on top of his back, pressing him into the couch cushions, things just… ease.
Air finally comes back to his lungs and he feels that same weight- just as emotional as it is physical- settle over him with the relief that he is protected. He won't fly apart now.
With one last mumble of gratitude he slips quickly into a doze, and when Logan finds them later Virgil is just as asleep. He lays a spare, unweighted blanket over them both and gently slips their shoes off for comfort, and lets them both enjoy their shared peace.