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"Hey spaz!"
It didn't bother him. It really didn't.
"I'm talking to you retard. You deaf too?"
It didn't. So why was he holding onto the black rock in his pocket so tightly that the sharp edges cut into his hand slightly making him clench his teeth and walk a little faster down the hallway.
He had a free period and had been heading towards the canteen.
The problem here was that the kids that bullied him had one too. And that the canteen was empty. And that his brother wasn't here because he had art class. And that and that and that and-
"I'm talking to you!" was the only warning he got before being pushed. Stumbling a few steps forward but not falling just yet.
The sudden movement had the rock slide against his hand in just the wrong way. He could feel the wetness of the blood that was slowly trickling out of the cut when he closed his hand into a fist in the pocket of his hoodie.
Mom was going to be mad at him for staining his hoodie again.
She'd be so upset.
She might even start yelling.
She- "can you act normal for once in your fucking life spaz? Or do we have to punch some sense into you?"
They wouldn't. They'd never gone that far and Remus knew they'd never cross that line. Still, though, it caused him to stumble back again, eyes flickering to each of the boys standing in front of him for only a moment before focusing on the floor again.
That was all the encouragement they needed though.
"Aw he's scared. Are you scared spaz?"
Remus wanted to shake his head. But his body wasn't responding to his demands today so he just kept still. Standing in the middle of the canteen, watching as the three kids sitting a few tables away from him all put their earbuds in and focused on their paper. Watching as the girl reading a book about butterflies got to her feet and walked towards the bathroom.
Why wasn't Roman here?
He'd bled through his sweater. A deep red stain on the dark green fabric painting it a brownish colour. The patch in the form of a fruitfly that he'd sewn on the hoodie on that exact spot months ago turning from white with black lines to bloodred.
It would've looked cool were it not for the bullies noticing and laughing at him.
"You hurt yourself spaz? Is your life so miserable that you're trying to end it, is that what it is?"
They thought he had-oh.
Well he'd never do that. It would upset his brother and his mom would be furious because he'd stain all his hoodies. He'd ruin the tattoo he'd just gotten on his forearm of his pet snake that had died recently if he were to- no he'd never do that.
But they didn't know that. And he didn't think they'd care either way when the one that was the most talkative stepped closer. Uncomfortably close. So close Remus could almost hear his heartbeat if he'd kept his mouth shut.
"By all means go ahead spaz. You'd be doing the world a favour."
He should've expected that really. The buildup had been hinting at the subject being brought up and the kid just kept trying to find new ways to get to him.
It didn't though. He knew his death would make an impact.
Who else would feed his boys then?
"Bet that fag of a brother of yours would be really grateful too. Not having to worry about your pathetic ass ever again."
Remus just nodded. Maybe Roman would be happy. If not that then he'd at the very least not cry at his funeral.
But Remus refused to listen to them any further. His rats needed him. Duke and Dee would die or get health issues if he was gone because his mom or brother just didn't know how much food to give them or what type would be the best for them.
So he hummed in vague acknowledgement and walked away from the three boys. Ignoring the shouts behind him when he walked to the bathroom.
"Hope I won't see you at school tomorrow spaz!"
When Remus got home he went to his room. Thoughts laser-focused on his room and not on what the boy had said. Not on how they wouldn't miss him. Not on-. Not answering when his brother shouted his welcome from the kitchen. Hand clasped around the rock in his pocket. The thing pressing into his cut open palm and the dried up blood flaking off of it slightly.
"Hey Duke, hey Dee. How was your day?"
As soon as he'd opened the cage the two rats were scurrying to get to him. Duke climbing onto his hoodie sleeve while Dee went into his pocket to sniff around.
"Dee, get out of there you'll get dirty." he laughed, putting his hand back into the pocket and carefully picking up the black and white rat to manoeuvre him out of the hoodie.
When he had taken him out Dee's fur was partly tinted red and he had the rock in his mouth.
"Ah shit. Come on bud, bathtime."
And after carefully removing the rock from the rat's mouth and putting him in his hood together with Duke, Remus went to the bathroom.
Atleast, that was the plan, had his brother not stood in the middle of the hallway with his arms crossed.
Remus still had the rock in his hand. His hoodie chocking him lightly from the weight of the rats in his hood. And Roman looked worried.
"What's wrong with your hand Re?"
"Accidentally cut it."
"How?"
"Got pushed."
"Who?"
Remus should start applying that filter Roman was always complaining he didn't have. But he saw no harm in telling his brother. This wasn't the worst the boys had done to him and he doubted that Roman cared enough as it was for him to take action.
So he told him their names. And he watched as his brother got angry. And he really shouldn't look as scary as he did in the summer dress he was wearing. Nails painted as red as the blood on his brother's hand and Dee's fur and winged eyeliner so sharp it could cut a man. Roman looked livid.
Remus didn't expect the hug that came after.
"If somebody ever hurts you Re, you tell me okay? I'm here for you little bro." "You're 12 minutes older than me." "Shh just let me be the protective older brother for once."
And when Roman didn't get mad that Remus had gotten blood on his pure white summer dress Remus realised that his brother might actually cry when he'd have to go to his funeral.
And when he'd prepared the bucket and watched the rats splash around in the water, Dee leaving a trail of light pink when he ran to jump onto Duke who looked like a little black mop and started a play fight, he realised that showing up to school the next day wouldn't be so bad.
And when he and Roman walked into school the next day, Roman in a white summer dress with a pink stain on the back and Remus with a bandage around his hand and a rock in his hoodie pocket that had no sharp edges because his brother had helped to polish it the night before, he realised that even though bullies would always be there to try and sharpen his edges and even though Romans nail polish had chipped from trying to wash the stain out of his dress, the two of them would be alright together.