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Realizing Percy retained no memory of the Feywilds hurt more than Vex expected. His dismissal when she explained her new title more so. Oddly, a small pit of guilt also wormed its way inside her head. Knowing his secret without him knowing she knew made her wonder if she should tell him she knew his secret. That line of thought made her head spin.
After their close call with the dragon, Vex was about to just stay quiet about the whole event. Until Pike restored his memories. He was hesitant - it took a few minutes of convincing from the party, but she knew how badly he had wanted to see the Feywilds. But Pike’s expression became more worrisome and she opened her mouth to say something, until a frantic parent called her over.
She didn’t think the other saw it, but she could see the wide eyed glances he stole every other minute.
Before midnight, Vex snuck out of her room. She knew Percy wouldn’t be sleeping in his room after today, if he slept at all. Finding Cassandra going to get a glass of water, she quickly asked him where his workshop was in the castle.
“In the rightmost wing, opposite to the bedrooms. Near the basements.” She yawned behind the sleeve of her nightgown.
“Thank you dear. You should get some sleep, lest you follow in your brothers footsteps.” Vex winked, but for a moment wondered if the joke was in poor taste. Sleep wouldn’t come easy to the girl for a long time, not after everything.
If she was bothered, the white-streaked human didn’t say anything. But just as Vex turned, she felt a hand reach for her shoulder. “You’re going to talk to him right? Can you… I want you to ask him something.”
“Sure, what is it?”
“It’s going to sound stupid, maybe a bit cowardly. But can you ask him if he’s alright? I just - I know we’re both so messed up and nobody in this damn castle is normal, there’s just something bothering him. I can see it. What I mean is, can you tell him I’m worried?”
If Vex wasn’t as proficient at lying as she was, her voice would have caught when she smiled and said “Of course dear.” as she turned away. Following her instruction, she remembers the specification the gunslinger made during the construction of their Keep. It must’ve made the place feel more like home.
Going down the staircase, the hallway she was met with wasn’t as must as the old mausoleum they explored before. Cobwebs caked the rafters and dust piled between the seams in the stonework. A trail of footprints lead towards a wooden door, firelight and the ring of metal leaking through.
Knocking and waiting by the door, Vex counted the seconds before Percy finally opened the door. There was a streak of grease on his cheek she wanted to wipe away. She made the effort to really scrutinize his appearance this time and found that under the illusion, his eyes were sunken and his shirt was unlaced and untucked. Blue metal peeked out from under the collar and she made sure not to stare.
“May I come in?” She asked, not bothering with banter.
“Yes.” Percy said curtly.
She hadn’t seen his forge many times within Greyskull, but it looked remarkably similar to what she recalled. A bench with a rack of custom tools organized by size. A cot pushed to the side. The large table with rickety benches strewn with tools. Even the barred sliding grate in front of the forge. Vex saw a simple cast of bullets cooling off to the side and something red hot sitting in the fire.
“How much do you still remember about the Feywild?” He asked.
“Everything dear.” Vex said honestly, pulling up a bench to his side. “I’d say I’m sorry, but I’m not. I - it’s a pretty big deal.”
“I know. Pike told me too.” Percy dragged an ash stained hand through his hair. The grey streaks make him look even older. “I made her promise not to tell, but if I’m being honest, she probably won’t keep it. I’d expect nothing less from her.”
Vex reached out slowly and began to redo the lacing on the humans shirt, not letting her eyes slip down. “I told you I wouldn’t force you to make a decision on this matter. But it may be for the best that you tell them. If you get hurt and need to be healed, then what will we do? I don’t want to be grasping at straws.”
“Aren’t we always?” Percy said humorlessly.
He hung his head, letting the longer strands of hair veil his face like a shroud. Despite the crackling of the forge it was far too quiet for Vex’s liking. Peaking under the veil, Vex watched Percy mouthing something. Perhaps he forgot in the moment that the ranger could read lips.
“Why do you waste your love on me?” He said.
Something cracked inside her throat as Vex spoke up. “I’m not wasting anything, darling.”
The human's head snapped up at that. His expression was almost comically indignant. “Really? You really don’t think you could do better? You’ve seen me murder dozens and I can tell you there are more that you haven’t. I’ve possibly damned hundreds more in the name of vengeance. If not because of the demon, then because of that cursed weapon.”
“What?” Vex was startled at his string of confessions. “You - damned? How?”
“You don’t remember?” Percy gave her a sidelong glance, shaking his head. “The souls of those killed by these go to Orthax. Now, knowing demonic bargains, that didn’t just mean the souls taken by The List.”
She chewed hard on the inside of her cheek at that. “And you’re certain that was part of the original bargain?”
“Most likely.” He shrugged.
“But he’s gone now. Pike made sure of that. And Scanlan destroyed the List. He can’t touch you anymore.” Vex reminded him. “Besides, I’ve killed too and you still love me.”
“So, that bastard Saundour wasn’t just cold reading you.” Percy muttered. “I assume there was a good reason at the very least?”
Swallowing her own guilt, she nodded. “Slavers. They kidnapped Trinket before we met. So I stopped them. I never told Vax until tonight.
“Hm,” Percy stretched and gave a pragmatic sigh. A soft creaking sound emanated from his joints that Vex hadn’t noticed before, “you had a better reason than I at least.”
“Wh - no I did not! Percival, we both killed for revenge against our loved ones, we’re the same by your logic.”
“You’ve killed - what? - perhaps five or six at most that night? I’ve done worse. Much worse.” He sighed again, pushing his hand into his face.
“It doesn’t matter how many or how few we’ve killed. We’ve still taken lives, what difference does it make?” She spat, frustration beginning to leak into her voice. “Percy, Cassandras worried for you too. She knows something is wrong, nothing certain, but she knows.”
The mention of her sister made him go stiff. “Don’t let her know, Vex. You promised.”
“I didn’t say anything. But why wouldn’t you tell her this? She’s your sibling.” She asked. “Do you trust her?”
“Yes. But it’s best she doesn’t know.” He stated firmly.
“Alright.” Vex crossed her arms and gave the stubborn human a waiting expression. “Tell me why it’s for the best?”
Percy simply pulled up the sleeve of his shirt. In the orange firelight, it made the silver blue metal look more saturated and an almost royal shade. Like a piece of the moon and night sky pressed into his skin. A hand reached up and traced over the discoloured patched Vex could guess were old battle wounds.
He didn’t speak for another long stretch of minutes. Vex eventually uncrossed her arms as her expression softened back into sympathy and concern.
“You were shocked when you saw me like this, don’t deny it. How will the others react? Keyleth was terrified of me when I killed The Broker and his men in Emon. And don’t even get me started about Kerrion Stonefell. You were all terrified of me then, how much more so now when you discover I’m not even human?”
Vex refrained from remarking that technically nobody else in their party was human. She wanted to reach for his hand, but knew that he wouldn’t want that. The ranger just set her palm on the table upwards.
“I don’t know what to say to convince you you’re not a monster.” She confessed. “But I already swore to every creature to the heavens and hells that I still love you. And I’d slay every one of them to prove it to you.”
“But why?” Percy asked. His voice cracking at the end of his sentence. Combined with his now hunched posture, it made him look delicate. As if only breathing on him would shatter his frame. “Why do you love me? After everything I’ve done and now that you know this is my body, why? Why do you love me Vex?”
“If I wanted to love a man for his body, then I’d be swooning after Grog.” She said flatly. “Truthfully, I don’t know. Perhaps it’s because we’re both so broken. There doesn’t need to be a reason to love.”
The human quietly rolled his sleeve back down. But after a moment, he set a shaking hand into the rangers palm. Vex realized in that moment that his hands - still flesh which surprised her - were extremely clammy and cold despite the heat of the forge.
“Do you remember when you told us about the Briarwoods?” Vex asked softly. “You wanted them dead. So did we. There was no reason behind it other than they hurt you. We even stayed with you after realizing you made a pact with a demon. You can’t get rid of us that easily.”
“Perhaps.” He whispered. “But you still can’t deny that I’m a terrible person.”
“Even if you are, do you want to die a terrible person?”
She didn’t expect the bitter mirthful expression on Percy's face. “No. I suppose I’d rather live to see myself become something different.”
“Good. And like I said, Vox Machina will be with you. No matter how long it takes.”
Lifting the humans cold, pale hand, she kept eye contact with Percival as she pressed a chaste kiss to his knuckles. Lingering for a moment before moving away, Vex let a hopeful smile form across her face. Soon to be followed by Percy, tears quietly forming at the corner of his eyes.
She pulled him in wordlessly. He didn’t whimper in anguish or cry out in sadness. Percy cries were mute, with only a growing dampness in the shoulder of her nightgown.
::::
Two nights later and with Vex by his side, Percy confessed his final secret to the rest of Vox Machina and Casandra.
The fireplace and fading sunset gave the musty library a welcoming glow. Percy stood in front of the long table, toying with the buttons of his coat. Both Keyleth and Pike kept glancing at one another. Subtly squeezing the humans free hand behind his back, Percy cleared his throat.
“T-there’s no easy way to say this.” He stuttered, still tugging at the brass buttons. “But there’s something you need to know about me.”
“Finally gonna confess you two are secretly shagging?” Vax called from the back.
If it were any other time, Vex would’ve enjoyed the teasing. Now she just glared and hissed ‘not now’ and hoped he understood.
“No.” Percy said curtly. “It’s about me. I need to show you something.”
Vex gave him one last reassuring squeeze before he let go. Slowly, he undid the buttons, untied his cravat and let them drop to the floor. His shirt swiftly followed and Cassandra averted her eyes. A ripple of gasps flowed across the table - Keyleth whispered a hurt ‘Oh Percy - and the human swallowed back his remaining fear.
“This was the result of Ripley's experiments.” He said clinically. “The metal was blinded to my skin and I’ve tried removing it to no avail. It doesn’t hurt, but healing magic and potions don’t have too much of an effect on me. I understand if this disturbs you, I’d be more shocked if you weren’t and -“
A chair suddenly fell to the floor and rapid footsteps came towards him. Flinching hard, Percy looked up to see Cassandra marching towards him. Panic flooded back. He stepped back, eyeing the exit. It took him a moment to realize that she had pulled him into her chest for what would have been a bruising hug.
“Sweet Percy.” She whispered. “Sweet, insufferable little Percy. Why did this have to happen to you?”
His arms felt numb at his side. Slowly, one hand raised up to grip the back of her dress. The gunslingers legs grew weak and he fell to his knees on the carpeted hardwood, Cassandra following him without question.
Vex quickly nodded to Grog. It took the goliath a moment to remember what that meant but he then muttered ‘oh, right!’ under his breath before pulling out his bag of holding. As the rest of the party stood from their seats to kneel by Percy's side, Vex helped Grog to fish out the hundred or so pillows and quilts she had - did it count as stealing if they didn’t leave the castle? - stuffed into the bag.
Keyleth hesitated before reaching out to press her palm into the cool metal of his back, letting small flames warm her palm as she traced curled up and down. “Is this why - “
“Yes.” He said, pulling back from his sister. “ I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright.” The druid smiled. “But there has to be something we can do for you.”
“I appreciate the sentiment, I do.” Percy said. “But I’ve grown more or less content with this form. I just hope the rest of you do as well.”
“Then all the more reason to find those Vestiges.” Pike resolved. “One of them might have the power to reverse this. Or we’ll find someone who can along the way.”
“So, should we start calling you the Tin Man?” Scanlan said cautiously, flinching when Vex looked like she was about to backhand him.
“I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t.” He said flatly.
Glancing over his sisters shoulder, Percy could now make out the island of pillows Vex, Grog and now Vax were assembling behind them. The rouge tried to pull one quilt that was apparently stuck within the bag of holding. He ended up tumbling back as the thick blanket draped over him, leaving the half-elf to grope around comically Until he threw it over his head.
“What… are you doing?” Percy asked slowly.
“Decided that this was the best way to show that none of us give a shit about what you looked like under that coat.” Vex proclaimed, fluffing up a set of pillows he could’ve sworn came from his room.
The human could recall the times where a fire and sleeping packs just weren’t enough to keep one warm when traveling through the wilderness. It wasn’t uncommon to see Pike and Scanlan using Keyleth as a pillow in her Minxy form. Or for Vax to lean against Grog after his nightly shifts.
Percy would usually just sleep on the ground, but it wasn't uncommon to find one member of Vox Machina passed out on his thigh in the morning.
“You’re not seriously going to have us sleep in a pile of pillows in the middle of my family library?” He asked flatly.
“So? Better than trying to sleep in the bowels of the Underdark.” Vax quipped. “Or up in a tree. Or in Syngorn.”
“But you - all of you - are alright with that?” Percy repeated, looking to each of the members separately. Then he gestured to himself. “With this?”
“You can be on top then.” Scanlan shrugged. “Grog, you’re on the bottom.”
“Wha? Why me?” The Barbarian asked indignantly.
“Because if it were anyone else, they’d be crushed by you when you roll over in your sleep.”
“Rather not let that happen again.” Pike muttered.
“I’m sorry!”
“Oh, I didn’t mean it like that!”
Percy found the antics amusing, but still he hesitated. “I really don’t see the point. You all clearly don’t have any qualms about me so let’s just call it a night and - “
He didn’t have time to finish his statement as Cassandra suddenly shoved him from behind. Falling face-first into the pile, someone - probably Vax, his belt was digging into his back - jumped on top of him. Whoever they were quickly rolled off and someone else pulled Percy up and into the center of the mess.
Percy tried to struggle under the grip, then he realized it was Grog holding him down. “This is really just unnecessary!” He squawked.
“It isn’t necessary if it’s what’s required!” Scanlan announced, bellyflopping into a free space next to the goliaths head.
“Move over Vex.” Keyleth gave a playful shove as she tugged a quilt out from under the ranger.
“Almost forgot!” Vex held up her amulet and soon, Trinket was nuzzling her face as the bear settled beside Grog’s lower half.
Percy just let his head thump against the pillows, pressing a hand to his forehead. “You’re all insane.” He sighed.
“Takes one to know one, dear.” Vex grinned, pulling up more cushions as she lay beside him with her head and forearms rested on his chest.