Archive of Our Own

San and Wooyoung had been more or less attached at the hip since they were trainees. 

They had practiced together, gone ahead together, messed up together and heck, they were scolded together. San had helped Wooyoung with his vocal balance and breath control, and Wooyoung had helped fine tune his dance skills. They had come a long way with each other's help, always trying to push past their limits, further and further until…debut. 

ATEEZ was all they had dreamed of and more. 

Seonghwa hyung, who had seemed intimidating at first but turned out to be a real softie. Hongjoong hyung, who was just around their age but seemed a thousand years wiser. Yeosang, a calm and handsome face that hid a savage beast who was really sweet at heart and put everyone else before himself. Yunho, the dance master who was the most sensitive and positive man San had ever met. Mingi, dear, sweet, crazy Mingi, who couldn't be replaced by anyone, with his eccentrics and quirks. Jongho, the youngest, with muscles of steel and a heart of gold. And finally, Wooyoung. Wooyoung, his best friend , his other half, his source of comfort, his...Wooyoung. 

Wooyoung was actually quite shy when San had first met him, bowing politely and calling him "San-ssi", his adorable satoori popping up whenever he was particularly flustered or excited. San liked when Wooyoung was excited. His eyes would light up and twinkle, and his face would turn flushed, the apples of his cheeks turning adorably pink. It made San want to cup his face and feel if it was actually as warm as it looked. He did, once, and it was. Warm. And soft. 

San and Wooyoung had made it past everything. They had wanted to debut together since forever, and they'd worked hard for it, pushing themselves to do better, better, better until they were the best. They knew, of course, that they were far from being the best, but they also knew that it was their untiring perseverance that had taken them this far and let them debut. It wasn't bragging if it was true, San presumed. He knew they had worked hard for it, and he was happy that they had gotten this far. 

Of course, debut wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. 

Once the team was finalized, it seemed like they didn't have a moment to breathe, being shoved from one schedule to another with barely a second to think , let alone rest. Then practice had started, and their title song was finalised. Then the whole album. Then the music video. Then their debut stage. And oh my god, it was happening. 

2018.10.24

San went, well, crazy after they had completed their first actual performance as ATEEZ. He ran around backstage, bowing to the staff members and thanking them profusely for their work, he remembered seeing makeup-noona's son awfully excited, jumping about as he grinned at the members. It was cute. 

San was helplessly dragged into Seonghwa's arms, as the older almost crushed him against his body. They were both sweaty and tired, but it was the least of their worries. They had done it. ATEEZ was their dream come true. 

San remembered their group hug, as they fell into each other with laughter (and even a few tears from Yunho) and relief at finally completing the first step to their goal. San was crushed between Yeosang and Wooyoung, smiling widely around at all their faces flushed with happiness and hope. 

Wooyoung opened his arms out to San, later when they were alone and packing up the last of their things, and San had given in, falling into his comforting embrace with his head resting on Wooyoung's sturdy shoulder, "Wooyoungie…" he breathed, and the younger, as always, got the message, pulling San closer against him as the smell of his lucky cologne invaded his senses, "....yeah, I know." 

He knew. 

He knew then, and he knew now, that this was it. This was their life, forever a challenge, a risk, a chance they had to take and above all, work hard for, spending hours and days and weeks on conditioning their skills to be the best they could be. 

In the middle of all this, in the middle of the ever-changing world of idols, in the middle of the unpredictable highs and lows, in the middle of all the ruckus, was Jung Wooyoung. 

He was San's constant, his pillar of support when things were down. Wooyoung was the one whom he had first opened up to, crying away all his tears from the stress of trainee life and missing his family and being scolded for his every move no matter how hard he tried. Wooyoung had held him then, let him cry in the dark on his bottom bunk, tears wetting his t-shirt as he shook in the younger's arms. 

Wooyoung had smiled then, even as San cried, and he had told him it was okay, that he had gone through it all himself, and Yeosang had been there for him then and now, now he would be there for San. That was when they had promised, when San's sobs had died down to a large extent, that they would make it together. They would try as hard as they could to get into a group together and debut together. 

ATEEZ had made that promise a reality and San couldn't be more thankful for it. He probably wouldn't have been able to handle it if Wooyoung and him were separated after all they had gone through together. 

Their relationship was... different . 

It wasn't your common, everyday best-friend thing. That was what San and Wooyoung had with the other members and even other trainees who had been next to them before their group was decided. 

No, this was more like...almost crossing the line into uncharted territory but not quite there yet. They had always been just a little closer than normal best friends, as they found their normalcy in kisses on the cheek, cuddling to sleep, wrapping themselves around each other in the dark like koalas, but of course they weren't actually a couple or anything like that. 

At least, that was what San had to tell himself when Wooyoung hugged him way too close and protective to be a friendly hug. When Wooyoung smiled at him with those beautiful lips, his eyes conveying a thousand words as he titled his head innocently at San. When Wooyoung kissed him, on the cheek and neck and shoulder and ear with soft lips, telling him that he loved him, San would have to force himself to remember what they were, just friends. 

He could only live in that lie for so long, though. He knew he would break sometime, maybe crossing that line too far one day, or maybe even letting his heart, or worse, his head, get the best of him. Barriers and warning signs could only last so long. He knew it was coming, but he couldn't help when it did. 

San didn't think he would be the one to break first, though. 

It was on one of their days off, when half the members were missing doing god-knows-what and the other half were asleep. Wooyoung and San were cooped up in San's room with snacks, blankets and a laptop. They were watching some action movie one of San's friends had recommended, and it was actually pretty good. 

They were seated side by side, and San felt Wooyoung scoot closer, his head dropping on San's shoulder easily. San let his arm wrap around the younger's shoulders, pulling him closer so that his body was completely aligned with his. Wooyoung sighed, snuggling in and extended his hand up to San's face, a chip disappearing into the older's mouth as he fed him. 

San felt warning bells go off in his head when Wooyoung dropped the empty packet and pushed even closer to him, throwing his legs over his and wrapping an arm around his waist. San didn't know if it was real, but he could've sworn he felt a pair of lips graze against his neck, too obvious to have been an accident. San's heart raced faster then, as he wondered, what were they doing? 

Wasn't this what couples do, not best friends? Wasn't this a little too intimate to be platonic? Wasn't this way past the line that they had drawn for themselves? He just didn't know anymore. 

San abruptly paused the movie, moved the laptop off his lap and pushed Wooyoung away so he could look at him, "What are you doing?" He asked, tone accusing and harsh. 

Wooyoung seemed taken aback, "What am I doing? Why, what's wrong?" San couldn't help himself, his mouth moving faster than his brain, "You're so...so all over me!" He gestured wildly, hoping to get his point across, "Wooyoungie, I don't think friends do this stuff-" 

"What stuff?"

"Like, cuddling and snuggling and kissing! Isn't this a bit- much?" San tried stopping himself when he saw Wooyoung's face fall, his eyes disappointed and shocked at the same time, but...he couldn't. There was- there was something, something that made him feel uncomfortable, palms sweaty and heart racing when Wooyoung pulled stuff like this, "Isn't this what couples do? We're just- we're just friends, Wooyoung, and this is really too-" 

"Too what?" Wooyoung seemed furious now, his ears turning red, "You think this is too much to handle or something ? Well, Sannie this is just who I am, so if you don't like it, I suggest you just take your stupid boundaries and get out!" Wooyoung uttered, his voice rising in volume and spite. 

"Wooyoung, I don't- don't mean it like that, I just-" 

"Just shut up, San. You can talk to me when you feel like making a decent point. All you're saying is that you don't like skinship? Fine, I'll back off," with that, San watched, stumped as Wooyoung pulled the blanket off his legs and stood up, leaving the room without another word. 

He'd really fucked up. 

That was the longest they hadn't spoken, their fight lasting almost two weeks. The other members had tiptoed around them, trying not to broach any sensitive topics. 

They had put up a pretty good facade in public, though. Maybe they were just a tad distant, but no one really noticed the tension between them except for the members, so that was good. It was also just easier for San to pretend that everything was alright, just peachy, even as he blatantly ignored the elephant in the room with a bright smile.

San spent a lot of time alone during those weeks, and he started thinking about what he had said to Wooyoung to make him look so…shattered. San never wanted him to look like that again. He preferred Wooyoung's signature grin and loud, boisterous laugh by a long shot. 

Was he really uncomfortable with Wooyoung's touches and skinship though? No, he didn't think that was the case. He loved skinship himself, and physical touch was comforting for him. He had always been pretty clingy, so why now? 

Maybe it was because it was Wooyoung. 

San tried not to go there, and decided that whatever the hell his problem was, he would let it go. He didn't know exactly what had come over him that day, and why he had yelled like that, but he knew he had wronged Wooyoung. He would have to apologise. It had already been too long. 

So the next time San walked into the kitchen and saw Wooyoung humming to himself as he made his morning coffee, he took the few steps he had to and approached Wooyoung from behind, wrapping his arms around him in a secure hug, "I'm sorry." 

Wooyoung didn't say anything, but San knew he was forgiven when Wooyoung reached back to kiss him on the cheek and pulled out another mug from the drawer for San, making his coffee exactly how he knew he liked it. 

After that, San had pretty much become the clingy one in their friendship, always hanging onto Wooyoung with his arms wrapped around his waist, shoulders, neck or whatever part of him was closest. At first, it had sorta been him trying to make up for his outburst, but soon after that, well, it was just...habit? 

This...habit of his had made the fans notice, San realised, as he was going through Twitter one day. There were posts, tweets, pictures of him and Wooyoung together, whispering in each other's ear, giggling privately and basically lost in their own world during fan meetings and even music shows and concerts. The fans seemed to like the idea of 'Woosan couple', if the excited squeals when they were all clingy on stage were anything to go by. 

So obviously, they did it more and more, the line between them growing to be as thin as a single thread. 

Of course, at first, it was for the fans' sake, as they seemed to love it and called them cute, but then...maybe, just maybe , San started doing it for himself a little. Just to indulge himself when his arms itched to hold someone, his head itched to rest on someone's shoulder and his body basically craved physical touch. 

Someone was more often than not, Wooyoung. 

San tried making excuses in the beginning, telling himself that it was only because Wooyoung was smaller than him, that he loved to hold the younger in his arms so. But Hongjoong hyung was smaller than him too, smaller than Wooyoung, even. Surely San should love to hug and coddle him? 

But it was always somehow Wooyoung. 

San liked the idea of being the one who was taking care of others, the one in charge and the one who made everyone else feel safe and wanted and protected. But when he was with Wooyoung- the roles were reversed, most of the time, and honestly, he...he didn't mind. 

Wooyoung brought that out in him, the vulnerable and small side that made him want to be pulled into his arms and stay there forever, wrapped up in Wooyoung's comforting scent of vanilla soap and masculine aftershave. In a friendly way, of course. It wasn't like...like that. 

But maybe it was a little. 

The line between them became so fragile that one wrong move, one misstep could change everything. For better or for worse, was the question San was trying to answer at that moment, with Wooyoung wrapped in his arms on the living room couch, contently scrolling through his phone as San's hand raked through his newly dyed blonde hair.

San smiled down at Wooyoung as the younger giggled cutely at his phone and shoved it in San's face unceremoniously, "Look, Sannie!" It was a gif of the two of them, Wooyoung hiding his face in his hands shyly as San gripped his shoulders tightly and looked down at him with a smile plastered on his face, "We're so cute, the fans are totally right." 

San felt something clench in his chest when Wooyoung said that, and a feeling of warmth and- and something else he couldn't decipher came over his whole body, spreading down to his very core. 

I want to kiss him. 

So he did.

In the comfort and silence of their dorm, San bent, closing the distance between them and pressed his lips to Wooyoung's. 

He could almost hear the thread between them snap. 

Honestly, it had been a long time coming. Anyone would say it was the next natural step of their thing , the more-than-friends-but-less-than-lovers relationship that had somehow developed between them. 

Wooyoung was a good kisser, San noticed, as he leaned up to meet his lips more fully and sighed against his mouth. 

But this actually wasn't... what he had expected at all. 

It wasn't like a first kiss, full of fireworks and adrenaline. It wasn't a loving kiss where their hearts and souls connected. It wasn't a huge emotional awakening either, San noticed. 

It was just them , just what they both knew would happen soon enough. 

But at the same time, San felt something burn in him, something new that he had never felt before, but definitely wanted to feel again in the future. He couldn't bring himself to pull away, breathing through his nose as he tilted his head into the kiss. 

Wooyoung turned, now completely seated in his lap, and dropped his phone on the couch, which he had been clutching tightly before. His hand snaked upwards to thread itself in San's hair while the other was firmly clutching onto San's bicep. 

Wooyoung pulled away for breath, and rested his forehead against San's, closing his eyes and letting small pants and breaths escape his lips, puffing gently against San's face. 

San was almost overwhelmed, surrounded by Wooyoung's intoxicating smell and his taste on his lips and his hands carding through his hair gently, "Hey, Wooyoung-ah…I-" 

"No," San was confused when Wooyoung pulled back to look into his eyes, gaze open and pleading, "Don't." 

"But-" 

"San, it's okay. I understand." 

So…

So, San let it go, and instead chose to listen to the other part of his brain, the one that was telling him to just close his eyes and kiss Wooyoung again, so he did, this time pulling him in closer by his waist as they sighed against each other's mouth and let the world fade around them.

And that was it. 

They kissed, but didn't speak of it for months after. It was almost like they had forgotten it had happened. 

Of course, it was all San could think about. 

Everytime he saw Wooyoung, everytime he touched him, he could only think of that day, that day when they had breathed and tasted each other so shamelessly on the dorm's living room couch. He kept seeing Wooyoung with his face flushed and lips red and swollen as he smiled at San breathlessly. 

But… San didn't do anything about it, hoping that Wooyoung would approach him if he wanted to talk about that day or even take things further. San basically just decided to live his life and move on, or maybe just wait, for what he wasn't sure but he knew that there was definitely something. 

That something came a few months later. 

Wooyoung kissed him this time. 

It was actually almost in public, after Music Bank. They were waiting outside the men's room for Jongho, and Wooyoung wordlessly linked their hands together. San turned to smile at him and Wooyoung tugged their hands up together and let his lips gently brush over San's knuckle in a barely-there butterfly kiss. 

San felt his heart skip a beat when Wooyoung did that, his eyes looking straight at him, into him, through him.

Before San could open his mouth to say anything, Wooyoung had brought his other hand up and grabbed his jaw, tilting it and surging forward to press a fleeting, innocent kiss on his lips, subtle to ensure no one saw. 

San's eyes widened as he looked at Wooyoung, who had turned away and was looking straight ahead now, but hadn't let go of San's hand, his thumb rubbing over his knuckles softly. 

He didn't know if he should have said or done anything, but he was saved the trouble by Jongho, who decided to choose that exact moment to exit the restroom and grin at them, pulling them along behind him to go back and join the other members. 

San had to remind himself how to breathe. 

Later that night though, San kissed Wooyoung again, this time less innocent and more forceful as he pushed the younger against his room door and bit at his lips harshly. This was new for them, obviously. It was only their third kiss, and the first two had been nothing but sweet and gentle and pure, but now, now San could feel every part of Wooyoung tense against his own body as his hands clutched the front of San's shirt and pulled him even closer. 

San didn't know what it is that they were doing, what it is that they were at that moment, but honestly, he couldn't bring himself to give a damn when Wooyoung arched his back and licked into his mouth with surprising skill, pulling a groan from his parted lips. San pulled away from Wooyoung's addicting lips and pressed a sweet kiss to his cheek, right on the spot where his mole was.

Wooyoung was pulling San back to connect their lips, their kisses breathy and wet and messy as their tongues connected. San let his body take over from his mind, which is why he did not know what he was thinking when his right hand moved down Wooyoung's back to his ass, firmly pulling the other's lithe body against his own with a grope. Whatever San did must have been good, because Wooyoung broke the kiss with a gasp and pushed his hips up against San's almost desperately, his hands tight in San's hair. San tilted Wooyoung's chin up with his free hand and met his eyes, heady and dark gaze washing over the other's face- 

"Wooyoung! San! Come down and eat, we're waiting for you!!" Yunho's yell cut through the air between them, abruptly breaking their moment. 

San let go of Wooyoung reluctantly and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, eyes trailing the younger's movements as he ran his hands through his own hair in a weak attempt to fix it, "Um...Wooyoung-ah?" 

"Hm?" 

"What just happened?" 

San could visibly see Wooyoung freeze , as if he had said something forbidden and unthinkable, "Sannie, please, I don't..." He trailed off, eyes straying to his feet.

"Don't what?"

"Sannie don't do this now, please ," Wooyoung had an unfamiliar light in his eyes when he looked up at San again, a look San hadn't seen on him before but resembled what he assumed was desperation and...fear? " Please , I can't, not now ." 

And San was honestly just too weak for him, and he gave in way too easily, but he just couldn't help it. Forcing away the plethora of questions plaguing his mind, San forced a smile onto his face and nodded, "Okay." 

"...thanks, I'm-...I'm sorry." 

"Stop apologising, let's just go and eat okay? We'll talk when you feel like it," San's smile transformed into a real one when Wooyoung offered him a weak grin and fixed his shirt for him, his hands too gentle on his nape to be nothing. 

But that's what they were, right? 

Nothing. 

The intensity from that day didn't return for a while, and San...well San didn't know whether initiating such a thing was a mistake or not. While it felt great, like nothing he'd ever felt before, he was still a little...scared, that Wooyoung wasn't talking to him about it, about them , because maybe he'd done something wrong. Maybe he'd scared Wooyoung off with his bold moves. 

But he surely couldn't have mistaken Wooyoung's hazy eyes and his desperation as he'd pulled San closer against himself, no, there was definitely something else. San just didn't know if it was a bad or good thing that they weren't talking about it. 

They hadn't kissed at all since then, and they'd just skirted around each other with their usual silly banter and playful laughter, avoiding any heavier topics like, "so we kissed and it was hot, what do you think that was about?" In fact, San even became closer with the other members in the process, using them as an excuse to avoid spending time alone with Wooyoung, because everytime they were left alone, San could only think about pinning the younger against the closest wall and kissing his breath away. That certainly wasn't a wise move, in their situation. 

What exactly was their situation anyway? 

They definitely weren't friends anymore, they had crossed that line and pushed it far behind them that day when they'd first kissed on the couch, but they definitely couldn't be anything else either, for the sake of their careers and their lives. 

Ugh, why was this so hard?

Speak of the devil.

San looked up from where he was buried in his pillow when Wooyoung walked into the room with Jongho latched onto his arm, and was speaking at top speed, so that no one but the people who knew him well enough would understand. Jongho was one of them, of course, and was nodding along with Wooyoung's excited chatter, throwing a wave in San's direction absent-mindedly. 

San waved back and his eyes automatically strayed to land on Wooyoung. The younger was wearing…"Wooyoungie, is that my shirt?" San tilted his head when the aforementioned boy whipped around to face him with a smile, "Yup," he turned back around immediately and continued to rattle away at Jongho, "So I told him…." 

San tuned out his voice as his gaze raked over Wooyoung's body. San's button up was buttoned up only halfway, revealing most of Wooyoung's pale chest. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants that looked totally odd with the shirt, but he pulled it off anyway. San suddenly had the urge to jump up and button Wooyoung's shirt to the top, or at least up to his neck. He didn't want everyone seeing that. 

Everyone? Who'd be looking at him, anyway? 

Only the members were around, and obviously Wooyoung only dressed like this at home, but San still felt a pang of jealousy when the younger man threw his arm around Jongho's shoulders, peering into his phone. It was irrational, he knew that, but he couldn't help himself. He didn't want anyone else to know what Wooyoung looked like under his flamboyant exterior. (It was not like he had seen Wooyoung in those ways, but he wanted to) 

San felt a soft gasp involuntarily leave his mouth when he had that realization. 

Oh my god, he wanted to sleep with Wooyoung? 

That couldn't be right.

This was just getting crazier by the day. First he wanted Wooyoung to stop being all over him, then San was all over him, then he kissed him, then Wooyoung kissed him, and then San again, and then...nothing. They hadn't talked about anything since then, and San had assumed that that was it. That maybe they'd kissed a few times and that was it, nothing like that would be happening again and they would just go back to being...whatever they were. 

But now…

San groaned and turned over, once again burying his face into his favourite pillow. He noticed that Wooyoung's 'monologue' had ended, and the room had quietened down. He felt the bed dip and looked up from the corner of one eye at Jongho and whined, "Go away, Jongho-yah." 

"Why, hyung, what's wrong?" 

"You'd be the last person I could talk to about this, so just leave me alone, please?" He tried using his puppy eyes, but that usually worked only on Mingi and Yunho.

"Hyung, Wooyoungie hyung is still in here, you wouldn't be alone either way, but if you think you could talk to him about why you've been all moody these past few days, I guess I could leave you with him-" 

" No!" San almost yelled, shaking his head furiously, "I'm not talking...to Wooyoumff," he'd buried his face in the pillow again during that last part, which made it come out all muffled, but Jongho got the message. Hopefully. 

"Suit yourself, hyung." 

He felt Jongho get up, and heard him leave the room, leaving him and Wooyoung alone. How long had it been since he was last alone with him? Almost a month, San's brain helpfully provided. Well, it didn't matter anyways. He wasn't planning on talking at all. He just wanted to knock himself out and sleep, losing consciousness and getting a few hours of freedom from the constant thoughts about Wooyoung plaguing his mind. 

He sighed, trying to make his brain stop running at a hundred kilometres per hour. Twenty seconds of silence passed, and then fifty, and then two minutes had gone by and San was still trying to force himself to stop thinking and just succumb to the tantalising idea of sleep. 

"Sannie…" Wooyoung's voice broke through the silence. Well, shit. He would have to respond now, there was no way he could pretend to be asleep, Wooyoung would see right through him, "Hmm?" 

"Play with me, I'm bored," San could almost hear the pout on his face. He knew that Wooyoung had downloaded some new game that he was super hyped about, he was probably just asking San to play that with him. Well...

"No." 

"Pweaaase?" He dragged out, bordering on aegyo, "I'm boooredd…" 

"Go be bored somewhere else, and let me sleep, I'm tired," San tilted one side of his face to look Wooyoung in the eye, "I'm not getting up, if that's what you want. My legs are killing me right now, practice was brutal yesterday," he wasn't lying, his legs felt like they would collapse if he tried to walk.

Wooyoung tilted his head cutely and seemed to consider his options for a second. And then, several things happened too quickly for San to process. Wooyoung had gotten off Yunho's bed and jumped onto his, almost falling on top of San (which couldn't have been good for his aching muscles), and opened out his arms and pulled San in despite his protests, cuddling the older man's head to his bare chest, "There, you comfy? I might as well get some sleep if you're going to." 

San felt his face grow hot. Oh my god, he was so close to him and he could feel his heartbeat against his ear and he could smell his soap and...he was so comfortable. Maybe he could just indulge himself for a few hours, and maybe melting into Wooyoung's embrace was just what he needed to stop overthinking things. 

He was asleep in record time. 

Falling asleep in Wooyoung's arms definitely didn't make San stop thinking about him. And it kind of also made the desire to kiss him even worse, and he was now beginning to regret that his tired mind had offered him a solution that would mess with him later. 

It was just... Wooyoung was so cute when he was asleep . 

Okay, maybe that wasn't normal for him to think about, but he also kinda just wanted to pull his head down and wake him up with a searing kiss. San shook his head at the insane thought. Sleepy San was a deranged San, he told himself. Never again would he let Sleepy San make his decisions for him. 

San noticed that at some point, his hand had ended up on Wooyoung's bare chest and he could feel the others breathing and heartbeat against it as his chest rise and fell gently. He yanked his hand away before he did anything...well, crazy, and rested it against the other man's clothed waist instead, which was significantly less dangerous territory. 

San looked up at Wooyoung's peaceful face, his lips parted gently as little breaths left him. His hair was all messy and swept over his forehead, and San reached up to gently direct it off his bare, makeup-less face. He really did prefer Wooyoung like this, when his face was cleared of makeup and his blonde hair wasn't all stiff with gel, still flopping about in little waves and curls that San really just liked to run his hands through. He did do that, sometimes, just have Wooyoung rest in his lap and run his hands through his soft hair while absent-mindedly watching TV. 

He noticed Wooyoung's eyelashes flutter, and abruptly turned his head away from his face, instead choosing to stare down at his own feet. "What time is it?" Wooyoung ended his sentence with a yawn and his arms tightened around San, "We have that filming thingy, right?" His voice was low and raspy from sleep, and was San a despicable human being for finding it extremely sexy? Yes, yes he was. 

He'd rather be despicable than lie to himself, though, "Um...it's like three. We should be leaving in like an hour for that, yeah," he finally let his eyes meet Wooyoung's as the younger shuffled a little to stretch his arms above his head. Wooyoung was looking at him too, his eyes holding a weight that San was too terrified to explore but also too intrigued to ignore, "What?" 

"You're pretty." 

"Huh?" Words failed him when Wooyoung calmly stated that he was pretty, as if it was an everyday thing. 

San was just about to force his brain to come up with some words that made sense, but was completely stripped of the opportunity when Wooyoung's hands came to rest around his neck and yanked him upwards to slot their lips together. 

What. 

San's eyes widened for a second, but he calmed down when he realized that Wooyoung had kissed him, not the other way around. So...there was something there, after all. He allowed himself to smile against Wooyoung's lips, and felt him smile too, the atmosphere relaxed and at ease as they pushed closer to each other. 

Wooyoung wrapped his arms around San's neck as San took the lead and ran his tongue across Wooyoung's lower lip, the younger granting him access with a subtle gasp when San bit down on his lip, "When...did you become so good at this?" Wooyoung breathed against his mouth and San's only response was to tug him closer by the waist and push his tongue in Wooyoung's mouth. San felt every inch of him as the younger man tangled his legs with his and pushed his bare chest against San's clothed one. His shirt had slipped off one shoulder, and San's hand was already tracing a dangerous path across his bare neck and shoulder. 

Wooyoung pulled away for breath and licked his lips when he saw San's state, his eyes dazed and dark. San didn't give him any respite, already tilting Wooyoung's head to the side to mouth at his jaw and place butterfly kisses all over the pale expanse of his neck. San pulled back when he felt himself get a little too worked up and looked Wooyoung up and down, his eyes memorising the image which would officially be stuck there forever now, thank you very much. Wooyoung had never looked so… beautiful before. He pressed a light peck to his pretty lips and let go of Wooyoung completely, his arms detaching themselves from around his waist, "I'll...um...I'll go and get the others? We should leave soon, right?" 

Wooyoung looked like he wanted to say something, but he thought better of it and bit his lip, instead breathing out, "Right." 

San turned, walking towards the door but was stopped short when Wooyoung called out to him, "Sannie?" His voice was small, almost timid, which was uncharacteristic of him, as he was usually confident with his words. "Yes?" 

"Sannie, this is- this is...okay, right?"

He turned to face Wooyoung, offering him a sweet, dimpled smile, "It's more than okay." 

With that, he left the room to go get the others and remind them to start getting ready for their shoot that evening. 

They really were okay.

Even if they didn't know what to think of themselves right at that moment, they were definitely working their way up to something more concrete, and right now, that was all San needed. 

They quickly adapted into their secret thing , easily finding private moments to attach their lips together and let go of all their worries in favour of melting into each other. They kept it a secret easily enough, using their close friendship as an excuse to disappear for hours on end, talking and kissing and giggling together like children. Okay, so maybe the members could have had an inkling of an idea as to what had developed between them, but San doubted that any of them could hit the nail on the head because, honestly, he didn't know what they were either. 

They kissed, and maybe even a little bit more, like hickeys and stuff (only where they could be hidden, of course), but they had never actually said that they liked each other in that way. They kind of just...went with the flow, doing what felt right when they were together. Wooyoung hadn't brought up the whole question of "what are we?" and neither had San, because honestly, they were both just comfortable with the way things had unfolded and didn't want to do anything that might affect their situation. So San fell into Wooyoung's arms without question when he opened them, and vice versa. 

They had become almost domestic now, stepping around the deep puddles and splashing gleefully in the shallow ones, only dipping their feet into instances they could get easily out of. They had made some unofficial rules for themselves, including "don't make out anywhere that isn't private" and "don't do anything even the slightest bit risky." They wanted to be sure that no one would find out about the nature of their relationship.

What was happening at that exact moment, however, was against all of their rules and then some. They were in the practice room and the others were supposed to arrive at any moment, but San had crowded Wooyoung against the nearest wall and was currently licking into his mouth shamelessly. Wooyoung hadn't really tried to protest either, giving in easily with a breathy moan when San nipped at his ear and went "Wooyoungie, come on," in that deep, sexy voice of his that he reserved for moments like these. 

San kissed Wooyoung harder and let his hands run free, over the younger's shoulders and neck and thin waist. He reached lower, latching onto Wooyoung's muscular thighs and hauling him up, the latter wrapping his legs around San's hips on instinct. Wooyoung's arms tightened around San as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss further, a moan escaping into San's mouth when he did a thing with his tongue. 

San was starting to become more confident as he completely forgot about the fact that they were in the practice room of all places, and ground his hips up hard against Wooyoung's. The younger responded with an eager groan as he pulled away from their kiss, a trail of saliva stretching between them, "San…" he breathed, and San knew that he could never hear his own name the same way again, "Yeah?" 

"San, put me down," San looked up and tilted his head curiously, "And what if I don't?" 

"I think I can hear people outside, would you please just-" and San was so thankful that he had listened to him, because not even a second after he he'd put Wooyoung down and smoothed out his hair, Seonghwa, Yunho and Yeosang walked in and waved at them brightly. 

San took a second to catch his breath, both out of relief and due to the fact that he had gotten a little too worked up while kissing Wooyoung. He waved back, and the five of them fell into their usual routine, stretching and warming up with each other's help before practice started. 

That day, that night actually, was when San realized how scared he was. Maybe that was why they were refusing to discuss what they were, what they could be. San was scared, no, terrified, that what they had built up so carefully would all come crashing down at the drop of a hat if they were found out. What if the members didn't accept them? That would probably be worse than if their families were against it (which they surely would be, considering them) because the members meant more to them than anything, and anything that triggered a disagreement between any of them automatically created ice on the floor under all of them, ready to slip or worse, crack. 

San was scared that Wooyoung wasn't into this like he was, that Wooyoung didn't mean for it to turn out this way. That Wooyoung didn't really- really feel for San like San did for him. He had already realized that what he felt for the younger was way more than friendship, and a crush even. He had been having thoughts of him and Wooyoung in a committed relationship, free to be together and love each other in front of the world. 

But...maybe Wooyoung didn't want that. 

And even if he did, there was still no way that any of it would be easy. In fact, San was assuming that it would probably be the most difficult thing in the world, being with the one you love but...not being with them at the same time. It would definitely cause a rift, or a few arguments at least. But San knew that he would probably do it anyway, for Wooyoung.

San tried distracting himself by listening to music, but the best he could do was hum along to the tune while his mind still bothered him about Wooyoung. He was going crazy with all the things that were locked up in him, and he was dying to just burst to someone, just break the ice and tell everyone that Choi San loved Jung Wooyoung and he wanted him to love him too, he wanted him to be his alone, he wanted to whisper to him in the dark, wake up with him every morning and make love to him every night. 

But he couldn't. 

Wooyoung was upset. 

Wooyoung being upset was obvious to San, and all the members, actually, but why exactly he was this down was a mystery. San didn't think anything drastic or bad had happened this past week, except maybe that one time Wooyoung got scolded for coming to practice late, but usually that would barely deter him. Wooyoung was the type to see the positive in everything, and work to please everyone. 

Which is why San was shocked when Wooyoung brushed off Jongho dismissively when the younger came to him with a question about their choreography during practice. That was completely uncharacteristic of him and something like Wooyoung refusing to help their maknae when he asked for it would probably only happen in serious situations. 

When Wooyoung had stood frozen even when Hongjoong had called him three times, San knew that something was terribly off. He decided that he would try and force it out of the younger, and asked Hongjoong if they could all take a break, looking pointedly at a distrungled Wooyoung as if to make his intentions known. Hongjoong agreed, seemingly having received the message, and called out for a break, beelining towards the water bottles. 

San walked towards Wooyoung quietly and tapped him on the shoulder, "Wooyoung-ah?" Wooyoung offered him a nod in acknowledgement and went back to wringing his hands together almost nervously, "Can I talk to you? Outside?" 

"Why?" 

"Please," he knew that Wooyoung knew why he wanted to talk, and that he was only trying to see if he could get out of it, "Talk to me." 

"No." 

"Wooyoungie, please. Don't shut me out, I promise whatever it is, I'll help you out, just talk to me won't you?" San knew Wooyoung had given up when he pushed past San and walked out the door. Even when he didn't say anything, he was at least going along with what San asked of him, and it was a start. 

San followed the younger out the door, locking eyes with Hongjoong as he did so. The leader nodded, and San shut the door behind him and pulled Wooyoung into the next room, which was thankfully empty. 

"Wooyoung, what's wrong?" San knew that Wooyoung's ultimate source of comfort was physical touch, and he pulled the younger's hands into his, but was hurt when Wooyoung shrugged his hands off and walked to the other corner of the room, sitting with his back against the wall. 

"San, I think…" 

"Yeah?" 

"I think we aren't working out." 

If that was the sound of heartbreak, San never wanted to hear it again. 

"Wh- what?" San's voice was already shaky, even as he moved closer to sit in front of Wooyoung. "San, we aren't- we can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." 

"Do what?" San knew exactly what he was talking about, but he still wanted to hear it from Wooyoung, hear that the younger really didn't want to be with him anymore. 

We're they even together in the first place? 

They probably were, San supposes. They were pretty much just a confession away from being a couple, and neither of them made it clear that they weren't one. They were everything a couple would be. They were kisses in the dark, and hugs, and cuddles to sleep. They were whispers of everythings and nothings, whole nights spent in simply getting to know everything about each other, to the point that they knew the other better than they knew themselves. They were exclusive and didn't have anyone else in their lives whom they shared with like they did with each other. 

But this…

"We can't be together, San. For our careers' sake, for ATEEZ, for...our sake." San could hear the words come out of Wooyoung's mouth, he could see him talk but he couldn't believe that he was saying these things. 

"Wooyoung-ah, why-" 

"Just- just let me talk, or I won't be able to say this later," Wooyoung looked away from San, "I really think that I might- I might be in love with you. More than I've felt for anyone before, and it's- it's terrifying, honestly." 

In love with him? 

"Then why are you ending this?" San felt himself tear up, and tried to stop it by biting his lip, "I- I'm pretty gone for you too, Wooyoungie, so why are you ending this before it even started?" 

"Precisely because of that. I'm so, so scared that if we do this, if we start something like that then...then we might not be able to live this life. We're idols, San, and I think the worst thing that could happen to us is a secret relationship." 

Wooyoung thought he was the worst thing that could happen to him? 

San's tears fell, staining his shirt, and he noticed that Wooyoung was crying too, wiping his tears on the long sleeve of his- no, San's sweater, "Wooyoungie, I-" 

But what could he possibly say? 

"San, I'm sorry." 

I'm sorry, too. 

Because I don't agree with you.

"No, don't be sorry, because you aren't going to end this." 

"San I don't think-" 

"No, Wooyoung. You talked, now let me, " San took Wooyoung's hands in his, and this time, he let him, "You know as well as I do that we aren't normal friends, we aren't a normal couple. But...that's why I love this, Wooyoungie. That's- that's why we're 'Woosan'. When have you ever walked away from a challenge, I thought you liked them? So now, you are going to stay with me. In fact, you are going to tell me you love me, and I'll say it back, and we'll be together. And I don't give a damn how scared we both are, because you know as well as I do what it's like when we're together, you know how- how right we are, so I'm not going to give that up just because we're scared, okay?" 

San took the last step and pushed himself closer and pulled Wooyoung into a tender kiss, murmuring softly against his lips, "Tell me you love me." Wooyoung was stiff against the kiss, and San was on the verge of breaking out into sobs when there was no response for almost a minute, but then the softest whisper stopped him from leaning away. 

" I love you." 

Time stopped around them, and San felt tears spring back to his eyes as he kissed Wooyoung more fully and pulled back with a watery smile, "I love you too." 

Wooyoung was shaking when San pulled him into a hug, his own arms winding tightly around San. They cried in each other's arms on the floor of the empty practice room, drowning out the noise from the next room where the rest of their members had probably gone back to practice after having waited for them for a while. 

San couldn't help but smile when he whispered against Wooyoung's hair, "Jung Wooyoung, will you be my boyfriend?" Wooyoung just chuckled and pulled him back into a kiss, this time taking the lead. He pulled back just a little to let out a breathless, "yeah," and went right back to kissing San, just light pecks and brushes of lips together more than anything else. 

San's whole body filled with warmth and love for the man in his arms as they kissed smilingly and gently, whispering and giggling in between pecks. They spent almost twenty minutes in that room, just the two of them, and San couldn't express how thankful he was that the others hadn't interrupted them. He had a feeling that Hongjoong had had something to do with that and made a mental note to thank him later. 

"San?" 

"Mhm?" 

"Can you please just promise me one thing?" San didn't answer and instead pressed a kiss to the mole under Wooyoung's eye. It was enough, "Can we- can we please not tell anybody about this- any of this, for a while? I said yes, but I'm still scared, I'm so scared. This is all really new for me, and I've never seriously dated before, and I don't know... maybe-" 

"Yeah," San cut him off and nodded, "We won't tell anyone until we're both ready. I wouldn't have said anything either, I don't think I could explain this to anyone, and neither do I think it's a good idea to be telling people so soon." 

Wooyoung smiled and took San's hands in his, guiding him to get up, "Thank you." 

"Wanna go and join the others?" And this time, San wasn't even a little hurt when Wooyoung disconnected their hands and opened the door, walking out from their little private world and into the real one, the real one where all the hardships and the difficulty lived. But that was okay, because that was where ATEEZ lived too. 

Nothing changed, really. 

They still snuck away from the others to catch up on alone time, they still kissed each other breathless at every available opportunity, they still loved each other. Except now, they could say it out loud and have the other say it back. 

It also seemed like Wooyoung was beginning to warm up to the idea of telling the members what they were, and San was already okay with it. He didn't want the people closest to him to be in the dark about such an important part of his life for so long. It had already been a month. He'd asked Wooyoung about it, about a week back, but the younger had still seemed reluctant, so San had let it go then with a smile. But now, as Wooyoung pulled him into his arms on the couch with all the others sitting just a few feet away, even going as far as to kiss him on the forehead, San knew that things were leaning his way. 

Hongjoong and Yeosang were definitely suspecting something by now, San knew, from the pointed looks he often got from them whenever he and Wooyoung did anything that wasn't friend-like and hinted at something more. Maybe Hongjoong even knew exactly what was going on, but was too nice to bring it up to their faces. Yeah, that was probably right. Ever since San had lied terribly to him about the bruise on his neck last week ("Hyung, something bit me, an insect I think!") Hongjoong had definitely known that San was seeing someb ody, if not Wooyoung. He'd just raised an eyebrow at him and cryptically said, "Be careful San-ah," in a voice that was too knowing to just be about an insect bite. 

The most clueless one would probably have to be Yunho, who, with his careless and fun-loving personality, probably never noticed anything different between them, and was as bubbly and bright as usual. Even Jongho, who'd often been teased for being clueless and oblivious, had probably caught onto something , when he walked in on San going through his photos, which were mostly just pictures of Wooyoung. Like Hongjoong, he didn't ask any questions either, but that didn't stop the curious tilt of his brow from saying it all.

So San asssumed that none of them had anything against the type of relationship that they were in, and in fact he was pretty sure that they would all be supportive of them when they told everyone. He hasn't ever seen the others talk about 'gay' people or anything like that in a bad way before, so he was pretty sure that none of them homophobic. But what if they were uncomfortable with the idea of two members from their own group being together romantically? Maybe they wouldn't-

Shut up, brain.

San mentally kicked himself for overthinking again, and instead chose to lean back against Wooyoung's chest and watch the television, where ATEEZ's latest performance was being broadcasted. Their manager had told them to set some time out to monitor it and correct any mistakes before their next performance, which was in two days. 

"Our Wooyoungie really set the stage on fire this time didn't he?" San couldn't help but agree with Hongjoong's comment as the Wooyoung on the screen looked straight into the camera with smouldering eyes, as if he was staring into his soul. There was a reason that he was in charge of 'sexy performance', and this was it. His gaze on the stage couldn't be rivalled by many, and San admired his captivating aura and the fluidity and grace with which he moved, and maybe he was even a little jealous of him. 

Wooyoung moved his hands from around San and covered his own face shyly, whining, "Hyung, don't say such things! It's embarrassing!" 

"It's the truth though, hyung, we all think so, right?" Jongho was sporting a wide grin as he shot finger guns at Wooyoung, "Besides, I think San hyung might drool at the TV if he stares any more," he giggled at the latter's expression as he realised that they were teasing him and turned red, "Yah shut up, it's just-" 

"Shh, let's watch the whole thing, and then voice our opinions, alright? We're supposed to be brainstorming ways to make this better," Yeosang, their usual voice of reason, came through as Jongho and San's silly back and forth stopped abruptly with a disgruntled grunt from San.

The rest of the evening passed without any disturbances, as they watched their performance and even some other dance videos of theirs and made slight changes with Yunho and Wooyoung's timely suggestions. Hongjoong was asked to change his gestures in one place and Seonghwa was once again nagged at for doing the tongue thing in Say My Name. (San knew he wasn't going to be changing that habit anytime soon, though) 

After a while, they had become hungry and Wooyoung and Jongho were on snack duty and were asked to go pick up ramyeon from the convenience store nearby. Wooyoung called out an, "Okay, come on Jongho-yah," and moved San off his chest, naturally bending down to peck the older man on the lips with a, "Bye, sweetie," before getting off the couch to grab his phone. 

Wait. 

Oh my god. Did he just…

"WHAT THE FUCK?" San had never heard Seonghwa swear that loudly before, but there we go. 

"Um…" Wooyoung seemed at a loss for words as he sheepishly shoved his phone in his pocket, avoiding everyone's eyes. He looked at San from the corner of his eye and mouthed " sorry". San shook his head and looked at Seonghwa, who seemed to have forgotten how to close his mouth. The other members were sporting similar expressions, except Hongjoong who had a small smile on his face. Hopefully that was a good thing. 

"Hyun..ng?" Jongho looked as stumped as the rest of them as his eyes flitted between San and Wooyoung rapidly, "What was- what was that?" 

"Uh... I'm- it's...um-" Wooyoung seemed absolutely lost as he looked at San for help, eyes pleading. San let his lip curl up in an almost-smile and looked to Jongho, "Jongho-yah, there's just...there's a lot going on right now, so-" 

"Guys, can we do this over ramyeon? Let Jongho and Wooyoung get us some, we'll cook it and then we'll talk while eating okay? I think we have a lot to talk about," Hongjoong provided a much-needed interruption to San's explanation. Was it an explanation? He didn't know where it would've gone if he wasn't interrupted. Thank god for their amazing leader. 

Once they were all settled in with bowls and plates full of ramyeon, Hongjoong didn't waste a second, jumping straight to the point, "San-ah, Wooyoung-ah, care to explain what's going on between you two?" 

Wooyoung shifted closer to San on the couch, aligning his whole right side with him, "Hyung, I'm sorry we didn't say anything before, we just-" 

"Did I ask why you didn't tell us? I asked you what exactly you guys are doing ," his tone was firm, but his eyes were soft and San could tell he was only looking out for them. He didn't avoid Hongjoong's gaze, swallowing his ramyeon before answering firmly, "Wooyoung and I are dating." 

Yunho's eyeballs might've bulged out, Jongho, Seonghwa and Mingi exchanged shocked glances and Yeosang choked on his food. Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, "And…?" 

"Huh?" Wooyoung seemed confused, but San knew exactly what he was asking for. 

So he told them. 

He told them everything, Wooyoung chipping in here and there. He told the members how they'd skipped around each other and kissed a few times, but none of it meant anything then. He told them that they'd both started to catch feelings early on, but we're too scared to talk about it till that day when San had dragged Wooyoung out of the practice room and into the next room and that was when they'd talked, really talked about what they were. Wooyoung told them that San had helped him realise that they both wanted to be together and they'd gotten into an actual romantic relationship that day. It had been a month since then, and now here they were. 

They'd tried to make it as simple as possible, avoiding details that the others did not need to know about, and San took Wooyoung's free hand at the end of their story, the other still clutching an almost empty bowl of no-longer-hot ramyeon. Wooyoung bit his lip, fidgeting with San's fingers. 

"Why didn't you tell us for so long?" Yunho seemed almost…sad that they hadn't said anything before. Maybe because he felt that they thought they couldn't trust the members. But that wasn't it at all, no. They would trust the members with their life, it was just...

"Well, we were scared cause we didn't know if this would work out and neither of us have been in love before so-" 

"You're in love?" San realized that they'd never mentioned that only when Mingi asked that question. "Well...yeah, we are." 

"San-ah, you guys are sure about this, right? This isn't just some experimenting thing?" Seonghwa was honestly just looking out for them, but San couldn't help his indignant, "Of course not, hyung! I love him so much!" Seonghwa seemed taken aback by his enthusiasm, but offered him a gentle smile anyway, "Okay, that's good then." 

Wooyoung placed his empty bowl of ramyeon on the table alongside San's and clasped both his hands with the other's, biting his lip nervously, "Hongjoongie-hyung? This is...okay, right?" 

There was a terrifying moment of silence where no one said anything and San squeezed Wooyoung's hand tighter than he ever had before. Hongjoong appeared to be thinking, and the other members' eyes were trained on their leader as well. 

San felt, more than ever, at that moment that Hongjoong was ATEEZ's leader. At the end of  this, it would all be up to him. What they would do now was in the hands of Hongjoong, because no matter how much San and Wooyoung were willing to do for their relationship, their top priority would still be ATEEZ. If Hongjoong felt that them dating wasn't a good idea for the group, well...San didn't even want to think about what that would do to them. But they would still listen to him, they would do what he told them to. 

Because he was their leader, and, above all, he was Hongjoong-hyung. He always knew what was best and was always working to be better for ATEEZ. So they would trust him. 

That minute felt like a lifetime to San and Wooyoung, as they held their hands tightly together. San was almost counting the seconds in his head, gaze nervously shifting around the room.

"Okay," Hongjoong finally broke the silence, his face breaking out into a warm smile, "I think this can work out for the best, if both of you are serious about it. I would never tell you not to love each other, because I'm sure it's clear to all of us that you do, but I can tell you to be very careful." 

San let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and he felt Wooyoung relax next to him, his hold on San's hands loosening. Hongjoong's smile made them smile too, and San nodded vigorously, "Hyung, I promise, we'll be so careful. You guys didn't find out till now either, right? We can keep it a secret." 

"Don't tell anyone. I'm sorry if you both wanted to tell your parents, but I don't think that would be in our best interest," Hongjoong continued, "and also, the rest of you guys are okay with this, right?"

"I knew something was happening between you two," Yeosang smiled at the couple, "I'm happy that this is real, and not just some experimenting thing. Oh, and Jongho owes me three thousand won." Jongho pouted as he fetched his wallet from his bag on the table and handed the money to Yeosang, even as Yunho and Mingi watched, stupefied.

"What?!" Mingi yelled at the same time Wooyoung whined, "You bet on us?!" Wooyoung gestured for Mingi to go on and the latter took a deep breath before answering, "Who else suspected something?" 

Seonghwa, Jongho and Hongjoong raised their hands. 

"Well, I definitely did not expect any of that!" Mingi and Yunho seemed shocked more than anything else, and San was kinda thankful that they hadn't really said much other than the occasional "Oh my god!" throughout this whole affair, making it a lot easier for them to tell their story without interruptions.

"Well, it's still true," Wooyoung was smiling widely now, as he leaned into San's side, wrapping a secure arm around him, "And um…thank you guys." 

"For what?" Seonghwa placed his empty bowl down as well, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. 

"For being so...accepting of this. We know it's not the easiest thing to handle, which is why we thought a lot about this before going through with it. We know that this is a huge risk for us, for ATEEZ, and San and I really are thankful that you guys understand this." 

Hongjoong stood up as if he was going to announce something important but instead opened his arms out wide (or, as wide as he could, considering his size) and called out, "Group hug?"

Wooyoung was the first to co-operate, wrenching himself away from San and launching himself into Hongjoong's waiting arms. The rest of the members joined, and soon they were a mess of limbs, laughing and giggling at each other as if on cloud nine. "Let's do a cheer for Woosan?" Yeosang popped up with a suggestion that was heavily supported by Yunho and Jongho, considering their enthusiastic "Okay!"s after which they arranged themselves into a circle, throwing their arms around each other's shoulders. 

"2,3-" 

"Eight makes one team! Woosan fighting!" The members chorused, sporting bright smiles as they let go of each other and sat back down where they were before. San began collecting their empty ramyeon bowls and plates and carried them to the kitchen where he placed them near the sink and got to work. 

"San-ah?" San turned curiously at the sound of Seonghwa's voice behind him, "Can I give you some advice? As your hyung?" 

"Of course." 

Seonghwa moved forward to pull San into his arms for a quick but warm hug. He let go, and peered down at San, almost calculating, "Don't break Wooyoung's heart." 

"What?" He wasn't really expecting that. 

"Wooyoung is really really precious to me, and to all of us, so please try as much as possible not to get into fights or anything. He's...not as strong as he makes himself look," Seonghwa paused, and continued when San didn't say anything in reply, "Look I'm sure you know all this, being one of his best friends, but please remember that you're both still human, okay? Just- just don't try to bite off more than you can chew." 

"Where is this going, hyung?" 

"It's just me telling you that if you do anything to sabotage this, you can be sure that we will hold you responsible for it no matter what it is, okay? Don't think that you can make this a quick fling or anything, because I can tell that Wooyoung really does love you with all his heart. So don't fuck around with him. He's-" 

"Hyung, I've never felt like this for anyone before. I am completely, irrevocably in love with Wooyoung, you can take that in writing, even. I swear I won't ever intentionally do anything to hurt him, hyung, so can you just trust me with this?" 

"Of course I trust you, Sannie, we all do. This is more out of…concern then anything else. Plus, I kinda just had to give you this 'talk' because Hongjoong is doing the exact same thing with Wooyoung in the next room, don't tell him I told you. But yeah, I'm happy for you guys, congratulations. And good luck," San grinned when Seonghwa said that, nodding firmly, "Thank you, hyung. I'll treat Wooyoungie like he deserves to be treated. I promise."

"Good." 

A few seconds of comfortable silence passed, and San broke it, "Okay so, now that you're here, can you help me with the dishes?" He was totally not taking advantage of the fact that Seonghwa loved to clean, of course he wasn't. 

"Sure, that was the main objective of coming here, anyway." San mentally whooped in victory when Seonghwa giggled brightly and joined San by the sink, grabbing the scrubber and a plate to clean. 

Score! 

"Sannie!" 

"Wooyoungie!" San literally barreled towards the younger, throwing himself into his open arms for a hug. San had been in the studio all day for recording with Yunho and Jongho, and the rest of the members had been left at home free, which meant he had been away from Wooyoung for only a few hours, but he was already missing him.

"Seriously, you guys, anyone would think you haven't seen each other in months, it's barely been a day," Yeosang sighed as San pouted and pushed himself closer to Wooyoung indignantly, "Yeosang, you're just jealous, admit it, we're cute."

"Over my dead body." 

"Aww, Yeosang don't be mean!" San pulled Wooyoung closer to place a kiss on his cheek and smiled widely, showing off his dimples when Wooyoung gave him one back, "See? We're so cute." 

"Yeah, I'm leaving, this is disgusting. Next time, if you guys want me out, you can just say so and I'll go, just  please for god's sake don't be all mushy and drive me out with your incessant " cuteness", okay?" He turned, grabbing his phone, and left the room without another word. 

Wooyoung looked at San cryptically, "So…" 

"So?" 

"Kiss me?" San didn't even let Wooyoung finish and grabbed him by the shirt, pulling him into himself to lock their lips together. 

San fell back against the bed, pulling Wooyoung to lie on top of him as he kissed him deeper. Wooyoung placed one hand on the bed for support and wound his other arm around San's thin waist, tugging him up to meet him halfway. He let his tongue curl against San's, temperature between them rising as the kiss got more heated. 

San loved how Wooyoung still gave him butterflies in his stomach, a flutter in his heart and electric shocks across his skin whenever he kissed him, even after they'd been together for so long, almost half a year. He felt like he was on top of the world when he was with Wooyoung, soaring past with no worries or sadness, just…him and Wooyoung and their bliss. 

San made his elation clear in the way his lips curled into a smile against Wooyoung's, and he giggled softly when the younger pulled away with a cute peck to his nose. Wooyoung looked down at San, out of breath, but pulled him into a kiss again, this time hotter and assertive. San arched up when Wooyoung rolled his hips down against his, letting a muffled moan escape into Wooyoung's mouth.

God bless his dancer hips, oh my god.

Wooyoung pulled away from San's lips and mouthed his way down to his throat, leaving little kisses and pecks all the way to his collarbone. The younger nuzzled his nose against San's neck, silently asking for permission. San brought his hand to Wooyoung's hair and guided him to his neck gently, "Go ahead, I'll wear makeup to cover it."

He felt the younger smirk against his neck before he kissed softly under his collarbone, laving his tongue over a particular spot as if it was an apology for what he was about to do. Wooyoung looked up once, meeting San's eyes, and then bit down harshly on his neck, alternating between sucking over the spot and soothing the pain with his tongue. San responded eagerly, hand tightening in Wooyoung's hair and head falling back as he let a breathy sound leave his mouth. 

San pushed Wooyoung by the chest, and rolled them over, switching spots so that San was now hovering over the younger. He leaned down to cover Wooyoung's mouth with his own again and let his hands wander, raking across Wooyoung's waist and travelling under his shirt. He ran his hand across the bare skin at his waist and let his palm map the expanse of Wooyoung's back muscles as the younger rolled his hips up against San's again. San pulled away for oxygen, breathing heavily as he stared down into Wooyoung's darkened eyes. 

The older was yelling at himself inside his head, yelling at himself to pull away now because he might be getting a little too into it and that wouldn't be good for him or Wooyoung, definitely. And it also would most likely end up causing an awkward situation for the both of them if he happened to pop a boner during their make out session. So San listened to the voice in his head and made as if to get up, but was stopped by Wooyoung's arm caging him in by the waist, "And where do you think you're going?" 

"Away?" 

"Why?" Wooyoung pulled him down again, but this time, started nipping at his neck and sucking marks into the skin while grinding his hips upwards. San felt a shiver rake through his whole body as a moan left his parted lips and oh my god Choi San don't make this worse and just move right now. 

"Wooyoung…Wooyoungie, stop." 

The younger cocked his head to the side and looked at him, "Stop?" His hips were still working their magic, pulling San firmly against himself. 

"Oh- oh my god," An embarrassingly loud moan escaped his lips when the younger bit down hard on the junction between his shoulder and neck, rutting his hips up against his, "Wooyoungie, don't-" 

"And why exactly do you want me to stop? You seem to be enjoying this." 

"Because- oh- because, if we continue like this, then...um- I won't- I won't be able to stop myself," San moved his arms to push at the younger's chest as hard as he could, and it worked, as he successfully managed to free himself and move off the bed. He was already beginning to get a little hard, but it was nothing compared to what would surely happen if they went on like this. He stood by the bed, looking at Wooyoung's expressionless face with a blush dusting his own cheeks, "Wooyoung-ah?" 

San barely had time to say his name before he was already being pulled back in to connect their lips harshly, teeth clashing, as Wooyoung sat up and clutched San's jaw while the older was leaning over him from where he was standing. 

Wooyoung pulled away for a second, looking deeply into San's eyes with his own darkened ones, "Then don't." 

"Huh?" 

"Don't stop yourself, Sannie."

"What - what are you- " he licked his lips, tasting more of Wooyoung than himself, "Huh?" 

"I said," Wooyoung was getting up, now, moving to stand in front of him as he wrapped both arms around San's neck, "Don't stop yourself." And then he was kissing him, slow and deep and with practiced ease, and San couldn't breathe. 

Did he just ask him to- 

"Stop thinking so much, and just kiss me, would you? I can literally hear all the cogs turning in your head." San didn't know what to think, what to say, what to do when he was helplessly dragged into Wooyoung again. But this time, he let himself fall. Fall into the cataclysm that was Jung Wooyoung, fall for kisses and his hands and his hair and his eyes and his heart. 

He pulled away, and rested his forehead against the other's, "I love you so much." Wooyoung smiled, and it felt like he had lit the world up. His smile was so pure and sweet, almost shy, as his cheeks tinted slightly and prettily, "I love you too, Sannie." 

San was pushed onto the bed again, and Wooyoung momentarily left him to lock the door and then came back to climb on top of San and hover over him.

San didn't waste a moment, already pulling the younger down for another kiss, a little messy and wet, but that was okay.

It was okay, because it was them. 

It was Woosan. 

And that was their story. 

That was the story of two boys who were filled with dreams and worked hard to achieve them and become idols, suffocated by their ever-changing world, and found peace, found a constant, in each other. The world turned, spun in circles around them, but they were unhindered, gliding through gracefully, hand in hand. San and Wooyoung found themselves in each other, they found love in each other, and they simply did what many were afraid to do. 

They took a leap of faith. 

San felt that he was the luckiest man alive, to have Jung Wooyoung love him back, to have him kiss him, wrap him up and make love to him sweetly. He didn't know how, but it was as if the stars aligned when they were together, and the universe meant for them to find each other. A little cheesy, but really, it was Wooyoung who made him that way.

Wooyoung didn't know if he could've asked for anything better in his life, and thanked the stars, the forces above, whatever it was that controlled everything, that he had met Choi San, that he had fallen in love with him and that he had found someone so perfect that he didn't even need to voice his thoughts for San to understand. All he needed was a smile, a frown, a single tear and San was by his side, sharing everything with him and guiding him through the ups and downs with a caring and gentle hand. 

ATEEZ was all they wanted, all they needed. Their group members kept them grounded, helped them realise their dream, and supported them tirelessly through every high and every low. They were so fortunate to have debuted with these members, with Seonghwa hyung, Hongjoong hyung, Yeosang, Mingi, Yunho and Jongho, who filled their world with all the happiness and euphoria they could wish for. 

Eight makes one team. 

You are dancing with me

In the arms of light

For me

You are another night

In your eyes and in my eyes

We'll remember forever

It'll be the most brilliant darkness in our eyes

Wrap me around, my Aurora

-Aurora, ATEEZ