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FACT #1: Adrien doesn't drink coffee. Like, ever.
Trust Gabriel Agreste to protect his son from anything that could violate his strict dietary restrictions. For a young model like Adrien, sugars and caffeine were terrible evils, and god forbid he eat anything that had excessive carbs, fats, sodium, or joy in it.
Because of his father's insistence, Adrien never developed a taste for coffee. He didn't grow up with a coffee-obsession many of the kids his age did. Sure, he's sipped some of his best friend-slash-roommate Nino's morning brews on occasion (surprisingly bitter) and tried (read: was forced) Chloe Bourgeois's disgusting sugary concoctions, but none of those experiences gave him a true appreciation for it. He wasn't actively seeking it out.
He was fine with that. Adrien was a morning person by nature, so he didn't have a real need for it. He was perfectly comfortable with his water, teas, and juices.
Honest.
She's the first thing he notices when he walks in.
It's all Nino's fault, really. Adrien had stopped by Nino's job to pick him up for lunch, and the two were wandering around aimlessly when Nino got a sudden craving for the Ladybug Cafe's croissants. "What's so great about these croissants?" Adrien had asked, and that was enough for Nino to stop in his tracks.
"You haven't lived until you've tried their croissants."
(The impassioned look in Nino's eyes was a slightly concerning.)
Adrien wasn't the type to pass up on good pastries, especially not the type that would've given Nathalie a nervous breakdown, so he was more than happy to let Nino drag him to the other side of town. All the while, Nino was rambling about how good their baked goods were, and how cool their latte art was, and how refreshing their lemonade was. The overhyping was starting to get Adrien antsy with anticipation, because really, how good can a coffee shop be?
Based on their baristas, really great, apparently.
Technically, she's the second thing he notices. The first thing he notices is a wave of cinnamon that greets him the moment he walks in. As he takes in the room, he's met with the delightful smell of freshly-brewed coffee and rich spices. There's a soothing lo-fi hip hop that's coming from the speakers overhead, complimenting really nicely with the aesthetic that's coming with the potted succulents and artsy photographs on the walls. On the counter, there's a variety of pastries that looked way too tempting for his model brain, but what Nathalie didn't know wouldn't kill her. Probably.
She's definitely a close second, though. The moment he lays eyes on her, he finds it's hard to tear his gaze away. She had these adorable pigtails tied back with red ribbon, and this cute Ladybug-themed apron. Her smile is bright as she interacts with her customers, and when her redheaded coworker whispers something in her ear, she bursts into giggles. He finds out all-too-quickly that he'd do anything to get her to laugh like that again.
Nino nudges him, and that's when he realizes that he was staring, unmoving, right at her. It's a good thing she didn't see him, or that would've been super creepy.
The two start walking to the counter when Nino freezes. "Are you okay?" Adrien asks.
"I suddenly have the overwhelming urge to pee."
"Uhh-"
"Just get me a cafe creme and a croissant. Scratch that- two croissants. Or wait no, three." Nino pauses for a moment, silently debating with himself, before he says, "Yeah no, get three." And with that, he scrambles off in search of the restroom.
Adrien rolls his eyes and steps in line. He's thinking he'll get a mint tea, with a scone or two. He's not all that hungry, and if he is, he'll steal one of the several scones Nino is planning on accumulating. He says he only wants three, but Nino is basically a walking stomach and will probably leave the shop with at least a dozen more by the time they leave.
The line moves up and Adrien starts browsing through his phone. Within the last hour, he's gotten several texts from Chloe (who's complaining about her friend Sabrina... again), Aurore (who's freaking about her date with Mireille), and Kagami (who's bragging about her latest fencing win). On Instagram, he notices that Jagged Stone is teasing a new album drop which might feature some collabs with XY, and he's too busy wondering whether he likes the idea of it that he doesn't notice the girl's waiting expectantly for him until she coughs.
"Can I help you?" She asks, and Adrien is this close to spontaneously combusting.
FACT #2: Adrien shortcircuits when he talks to cute girls.
You'd think that he, a famous celebrity who interacts with famous, attractive people all the time, would have somewhat of an understanding of how to flirt.
You'd be gravely mistaken.
You see, Adrien had no reliable source of information about girls. Asking the Gorilla about anything was about as effective as asking a brick wall. Asking Nathalie was effectively asking his father, and that was suicide. Asking Chloe would mean an interrogation about the girls in his life, and knowing Chloe, she'd probably threaten the person he was talking to, ruining his chances with them forever. Nino was his only real insight on how the real world works, but Nino is so chill about everything that he doesn't really know how to handle Adrien's disastrous self.
A few awkward beats pass, and Adrien's senses finally come back to him. "Yes! Yes, um, can I get three croissants and two scones, please? And a cafe creme?"
She smiles, a little awkwardly, and jots down the order. She looks back up at him and asks, "Can I get you anything else?"
Your number, he wants to say, but he doesn't trust his brain enough to do that. He can't just get his drink and leave, though. Now that he's up close to her, he gets a good look at her incredibly blue eyes, and the light smattering freckles on her face, and her dimples, and- and she's beautiful. He's not the type to get tongue-tied (just the opposite, actually), but she's kind of the prettiest person he's ever seen and the energy she radiates is friendly and nice and inviting and he needs to speak NOW before he looks crazy.
"Uh..." He begins. "Actually, there is something else."
"You did what."
Adrien flops on the couch of their apartment and makes a long-suffering groaning noise. "Don't make me repeat myself."
Nino drops his keys on their kitchen counter, pushes his glasses up his nose, and clasps his hands together. "Let me see if I get this straight: You ordered a venti vanilla cold brew with TWENTY FOUR pumps of mango??" He's incredulous, and it's hard for him to keep his voice level. "Why?"
"I just wanted her to remember me," Adrien mumbles, dragging his hands over his face.
Nino snorts and takes a sip of his coffee. "Mission accomplished."
Adrien lets out a half-hearted sob and spreads his hands out off the couch. "She was just so pretty and her smile was really nice and I panicked! I figured if I ordered something cool then she'd think I was cool, and I needed something cooler than mint tea so I just kinda improvised!"
Nino doesn't know whether or not to laugh. "Your idea of improvisation includes twenty-four pumps of mango?!"
FACT #3: Clearly, Adrien doesn't work well under pressure.
Adrien makes another distressed noise. "Stop bullying me."
Nino makes his way out of the kitchen and over to the couch, where Adrien has buried himself under a blanket. "Look," he says, "You are Adrien-freaking-Agreste. You are the coolest guy in the world- you don't need to come up with ridiculous drink orders to impress someone. Just be yourself." He pulls the blanket off his friend, only to find him staring up at the ceiling helplessly. "Tomorrow, we're going back there, and you are asking her out."
Adrien shoots up. He stares at Nino in horror, which would be funny if not for how pathetic the circumstances are. "I can't go back there! I can't show my face EVER again. I think I have to move to Mexico."
Nino rolls his eyes. "You're being dramatic. You'll be fine, trust me."
Adrien still looks unconvinced, but he sighs and smiles at him. "Nino, you're a good bro."
"HA. You say that like I'm going to let you live this down."
"Stop bullying me!"
The next day, the two find themselves in the Ladybug Cafe again. Nino is pushing Adrien towards the counter, where the cute barista from the day is piping icing onto some cookies. Her tongue is sticking out in concentration, and it's the most adorable thing Adrien's ever seen. He's not sure he can do this- he doesn't trust his mouth to say intelligible things.
Before he knows it, he's at the cash register. He already has a super suave opening line in his head ("How are you, My Lady?"), but before he can speak, the redheaded friend from the day before comes in through the back doors holding a small picture frame. "Guess what?" She asks in a sing-songy voice, waving around the picture frame in her hands.
The girl whips around to greet her friend, and when she sees the frame, her eyes widen with excitement. She beams at her, and says, "I can't believe you actually made it!"
The redheaded smirks. "It's incredible that you still doubt my powers after all these years."
The girl rolls her eyes. "What would I do without you?"
"Die probably."
The two baristas don't seem to notice Nino and Adrien standing there at all.
The girl scoffs and grabs the picture frame. She looks incredibly pleased. "Congratulations Mango Boy, you have officially made it into the Hall of Fame." She waves the picture frame around for a moment, before handing it back to her friend. "Alya, will you do the honors?"
The redhead, who's name is Alya apparently, takes the frame with a smirk. "It would be my pleasure."
After a few minutes of shuffling, Alya manages to hang the picture frame on the back wall of the shop. The artsy photographs Adrien admired yesterday were, upon further reflections, pictures of drinks from the store. Alya and the Girl smirk proudly to themselves. "In memory of Mango Boy, who ordered twenty-four pumps of mango in one cold brew. Gone, but never forgotten." She salutes sarcastically at the photo.
The girl grabs two cookies from her work station and hands one to Alya. "To the weirdest and hottest customer the Ladybug Cafe has ever had."
"Amen." The two girls raise their cookies up to the frame and clink them together.
Things are incredibly quiet before Nino whispers, "Holy shit."
FACT #4: Adrien is mortified.
And so are the baristas when they notice the two of them standing there. The girl's face pales in recognition, and when she makes eye contact with him, she looks like she wants to disappear. "Is that...?" Alya asks, but her voice falters.
Adrien stumbles backward. He's so overwhelmed with embarrassment and shame that he can't form a coherent thought.
Nino turns towards him apologetically. "Adrien, I-"
But he doesn't hear him. He doesn't want to.
Instead, Adrien turns and runs.
He doesn't stop until he's a good few blocks away. The whole situation has left him out of breath, and he wonders how it all went downhill so quickly.
In a perfect world, he would've ordered his mint tea like he was supposed to and seduced the Ladybug girl with his charisma and his excellent puns; instead, he became the laughing stock of the shop and probably destroyed his chances with the cute barista. With the way she was sarcastically honoring him, though, he wasn't really sure he wanted anything to do with her. He was feeling very humiliated. It was not the best feeling.
"Mango boy! Wait up!" It's the girl.
He doesn't do anything to acknowledge her, but he lets her catch up to him. She still has her apron on and cookie in hand, and she looks troubled. "I am so so sorry. If I had known you'd come back... that doesn't excuse it. I shouldn't have done that. I'm really sorry."
He scratches the back of his neck uncomfortably. "It's fine."
"No. It's not. It's just... Alya and I have this tradition: when customers order unusual things, we take pictures of their orders and hang them up in our hall of fame. It's our way of commemorating our experiences working together, but I'm now realizing that it's kind of mean and-"
"It's okay," He laughs. The more that he thinks about it, the situation is kind of funny. "It was a bizarre drink. It deserves to be on the wall."
"...Really?"
"Really." He smiles at her. "No harm done."
She exhales, looking incredibly relieved. "I'm glad." She looks up at him. Her blue eyes are twinkling and there's something in them, but he's finding it hard to describe. "Out of curiosity, do you frequently order mango vanilla cold brews? I need to know."
He flushes. "Ah... not really. Honestly, I wanted mint tea."
"Oh!" She laughs a little, confused. "Why didn't you just get mint tea, then? Why the twenty-four pumps of mango?"
He looks down at his feet and shifts his weight from side to side. Mustering up the courage to make eye contact with her, he says, "Honestly, I wanted to impress you with something cool. I thought you were really cute and didn't know how to talk to you. I... don't know anything about coffee." He smiles a little, shy, and watches as her face goes bright red.
"Oh." She's blushing profusely, and he's pleased with himself that he's made her react like that. "I thought you were cute too."
That catches him by surprise, and suddenly, he's blushing a little too. "Really?"
"Yeah... I saw you walk in and I thought you were handsome. 'Course, after you ordered, I was worried that I was checking out a psychopath-"
"Very funny."
"-But even after you left, I caught myself thinking about you too."
"Oh."
The two are quiet for a few beats. He's not really sure where to go from here- he's not the most well-versed in dating or flirting (which is what got them in this mess in the first place)- but he might as well shoot his shot. "Would it be okay if I were to come back tomorrow? I won't order anything weird, I promise."
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and smiles. "I'd like that."
He feels great. More than great, actually. He feels really energetic all of a sudden like he could do anything, and he's having trouble being nonchalant. "Cool! Cool cool cool. I'll, um, see you tomorrow then?"
She looks amused. "See you tomorrow, Mango Boy."
She's probably not going to let him live this down, either, and he's okay with that.
FACT #5: Marinette suits him way more than coffee ever will.