BatShampoo_19
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The absolute worst person Roy can imagine meeting the yoga mums is Jamie Tartt. Roy spent far too many hours drinking rosé and glaring daggers as Jamie fucked his way through the cast of Lust Conquers All to explain to them all now that actually, Jamie’s been his coworker for the past three years and actually, they spend most of their days together and actually, Roy doesn’t completely hate the little prick.
Not to mention, then Jamie would inevitably pick up on how many hours Roy spent drinking rosé and glaring daggers as Jamie fucked his way through the cast of Lust Conquers All. And that sounds fucking exhausting.
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Or, five times Roy successfully keeps Jamie from meeting the yoga mums, and one time he fails.
Bookmarked by BatShampoo_19
02 Feb 2026
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You seem like someone I could pick a fight with and dance all night with by Blackmustache
Fandoms: Ted Lasso (TV)
22 Jul 2021
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Roy Kent is absolutely, one hundred percent NOT in a relationship with Jamie Tartt.
Just because they sometimes hook up, that doesn’t make it a thing.
Bookmarked by BatShampoo_19
01 Feb 2026
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Roy folds his arms, glaring. "All right, what the fuck is going on here? Why have you suddenly decided to fancy me?"
"I haven't suddenly decided, I've always fancied you. Just didn't know until today that you'd be up for it."
Roy reminds himself sternly that he cannot murder their star striker the day before a match. "Just because I'm interested in blokes doesn't mean I'm interested in you."
Jamie looks confused. "It doesn't? But..." He gestures at his face as if it's incontrovertible evidence, then down his body like a closing argument.
Roy cannot murder him. The media would be intolerable.
Bookmarked by BatShampoo_19
01 Feb 2026
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Jamie grew up in an admittedly poor part of the city. Food options for him and his mum tended to be limited, even as she did her best to make sure he didn't know it. Jamie had cereal for breakfast, the free lunch his school provided during the day, and freezer meals at night. Sometimes cereal again, if his mum was working late or if they hadn't gone to the shop in a bit.
It was only after Jamie started playing football for bigger, more famous teams, that he really got a taste of what food could be. What he could make it be. He learned something about himself late in life.
Jamie Tartt loved to cook.
OR: Cooking is Jamie's love language. This helps immensely when he falls in love with two people at once.
Bookmarked by BatShampoo_19
31 Jan 2026
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“Well alright,” Ted says from where he’s stood on the stage, emceeing this year’s gala. “Sold, to Roy Kent, for ten thousand dollars. Pounds. Y’all know what I mean.”
Next to Ted, Jamie’s face is doing something rubbery and cartoonish. Next to Roy, Keeley starts laughing.
There’s a beat, and then another, and Roy’s brain catches up to speed. “Fucking what?”
Bookmarked by BatShampoo_19
31 Jan 2026