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Lan Wangji is panicking. He tries not to let it show, but it must be obvious, he’s sure of it.
But Lan Wangji doesn’t know how to deal with these stupid blossoming feelings inside of him, and it’s making him panic even harder.
He had thought the fluttering in his chest whenever Wei Wuxian smiles at him is nothing. Had chalked it up to maybe even being sick, though he rarely catches anything.
But lately Lan Wangji’s entire being trembles when Wei Wuxian smiles at him, and he goes hot all over when Wei Wuxian drapes himself all over Lan Wangji and it’s worst of all when Wei Wuxian is all serious and still for a moment, because then Lan Wangji can’t help but notice just how beautiful and clever and radiant Wei Wuxian is.
At least when he’s moving and talking Lan Wangji can try to tell himself that he’s also annoying and stupid, though those arguments are half-heartedly at best.
Lan Wangji is in big trouble and he fears that everyone must see it.
Fears that everyone can see just how much he loves Wei Wuxian.
It’s a stupid thought, Lan Wangji knows that, because he is known for being unreadable, but it’s hard to remember in the face of a smiling Wei Wuxian.
Everything is hard to remember when faced with his crinkled eyes and the biggest smile and his happy laugh.
Lan Wangji can hardly be at fault here.
Lan Wangji is helpless against Wei Wuxian and some days he curses the day he stepped into Lan Wangji’s life.
But then his eyes fall on Wei Wuxian, slouched over his book, pencil spinning in his hand and his mouth moving along with what he reads, or maybe already expanding on it, and Lan Wangji can’t find it in him to mind all that much.
His life is richer for it, after all.
Wei Wuxian’s head suddenly snaps up as if he felt Lan Wangji’s gaze on him, and Lan Wangji turns back towards his own studies, resolutely ignoring the way his ears burn. He hopes Wei Wuxian can’t see it in this light.
Lan Wangji reads the same paragraph three times, but the words just won’t make sense.
This, too, is a common occurrence for Lan Wangji these days. Wei Wuxian’s presence makes it hard for him to concentrate, makes it hard to study and honestly Lan Wangji is just waiting for the day one of his grades drop.
It hasn’t happened yet, so neither Lan Xichen nor his uncle have taken notice of his distractedness so far, but Lan Wangji fears the day it’s going to happen.
He doesn’t know how to explain to them that he was distracted by a boy, of all things.
“Hey, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispers and pokes Lan Wangji with the pencil.
Lan Wangji tries to ignore it, but he knows from experience that Wei Wuxian will get him to pay attention to him sooner or later.
Lan Wangji has always been weak for him.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whines next and drapes himself over the table, half over Lan Wangji’s book, and he peeks up at him from under his long lashes.
“Lan er-gege, won’t you pay attention to me?” Wei Wuxian sighs out and Lan Wangji can feel his ears go hot again.
It’s not fair.
“Mn,” Lan Wangji says, and it’s already enough to have Wei Wuxian beam up at him.
“You know, Lan er-gege,” Wei Wuxian starts and Lan Wangji immediately tenses.
That tone never bodes well for him.
“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” Wei Wuxian says and Lan Wangji freezes completely.
He blinks once, then twice, and suddenly he can move again. And he’s moving in a panic.
“Oh,” Lan Wangji says and rather rudely pushes Wei Wuxian off his book so he can stuff it into his bag.
Lan Wangji realizes his mistake now. He shouldn’t have worried if anyone else could read him. He should have worried about Wei Wuxian being able to read him, and that oversight is biting him in the ass now.
Lan Wangji is dimly aware that Wei Wuxian is trying to say something to him, but he can’t make out the words through the rushing in his ears, and he doesn’t stop packing his things either.
He has to get away.
So he leaves Wei Wuxian there, at their table, staring after him, and almost runs out.
And then he stays away. For days. Because he’s in love with the most radiant person on campus and he knows that Wei Wuxian just barely tolerates him and even that only because he finds it highly amusing to annoy Lan Wangji.
And besides. Lan Wangji can take a few days off. His grades are still good enough for that.
“Wangji, won’t you tell me what happened?” Lan Xichen asks, not for the first time, when Lan Wangji yet again doesn’t leave the apartment all day, but Lan Wangji simply shakes his head at him.
He can’t explain. Wouldn’t even know where to start.
Thankfully, his brother lets the matter rest, though Lan Wangji notices his worried glances all day long.
That, at least, is better than the pity he would probably get were he to explain.
It’s the third day of Lan Wangji trying to hide away from his problems when it suddenly rings at their door. And not just once or twice, but whoever is on the other side of it is ringing up quite the storm, and Lan Wangji knows exactly who it is.
“Brother,” he starts when Lan Xichen walks over to the door, but when he doesn’t elaborate, Lan Xichen opens it.
Lan Wangji is not too proud to admit that he hides in his room.
He distantly hears Wei Wuxian’s voice, and Lan Xichen’s much calmer one answer him, before there’s a knock at his door.
“Wangji, Wei Wuxian is here to see you,” Lan Xichen says, as he carefully pushes the door open.
Lan Wangji can see that Wei Wuxian followed Lan Xichen right up to the door, and Lan Wangji wants to ruffle his hair.
He doesn’t of course, but he sends a pleading look at his brother.
“Wangji, is it okay?” Lan Xichen inquires and while Lan Wangji is still contemplating if shaking his head in panic would be too drastic a reaction, Wei Wuxian has already pushed his way into his room.
“It’s okay, Xichen-ge, thank you,” Wei Wuxian happily says as he firmly plants himself on Lan Wangji’s chair. “Lan Zhan and I are just gonna have a quick talk.”
Lan Xichen eyes Lan Wangji warily, and he knows that if he should say the word, Lan Xichen would make sure that Wei Wuxian leaves right now, but Lan Wangji nods at his brother.
It’s okay. He knew he would have to face Wei Wuxian sooner or later.
Lan Xichen leaves them to it, afterwards, but Lan Wangji can’t bring himself to turn around and look at Wei Wuxian.
Looking at him brought him this mess in the first place.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian starts but cuts himself off with a sigh when Lan Wangji won’t turn around to him.
“You didn’t come to classes,” Wei Wuxian eventually settles on when Lan Wangji doesn’t move or speak. “I was worried.”
“I’m sorry,” Lan Wangji finally says. “I’m alright.”
“I can see that,” Wei Wuxian gives back and Lan Wangji hears him move so he braces himself.
And not a second too soon because Wei Wuxian drapes himself all over Lan Wangji’s back.
“Won’t you look at me, Lan er-gege?” Wei Wuxian whispers into his ear and a shudder runs down Lan Wangji’s back.
“I think—,” he starts and has to swallow when Wei Wuxian’s breath ghosts over his cheek. “I think I’ve looked enough,” he weakly finishes and wants to break Wei Wuxian’s hold on him, but he won’t let him.
“No, you haven’t,” Wei Wuxian says and then shakes his head. “And you didn’t listen to me either.”
“Listen to you?” Lan Wangji can’t help but ask and Wei Wuxian flutters his lips over the shell of Lan Wangji’s ear.
“I told you I don’t mind,” Wei Wuxian whispers and Lan Wangji jerks at hearing those words. “I told you I have been looking as well.”
“I didn’t notice,” Lan Wangji presses out and Wei Wuxian laughs.
Lan Wangji itches to turn around and look at him, see how the corner of his eyes crinkle and how his eyes spark with mirth.
“I’m much better at doing it secretly,” Wei Wuxian tells him and then turns Lan Wangji around with two strong hands on his shoulders.
“Won’t you look at me, Lan er-gege?” Wei Wuxian asks again and Lan Wangji is helpless to do anything but look at him.
“There you are,” Wei Wuxian beams at him and then rests their foreheads together. “I have missed you,” he whispers, like it’s a secret only meant for the two of them.
“Missed Wei Ying as well,” Lan Wangji admits and dares to settle his hands on Wei Wuxian’s waist.
Wei Wuxian doesn’t seem adverse to that, and instead presses closer until they touch from head to toe. Lan Wangji feels breathless.
“Won’t you kiss me, too, Lan Zhan?” Wei Wuxian then asks, and they are already close enough that Lan Wangji almost feels the words against his lips.
It’s almost too easy to lean forward and close the last bit of distance between them. And it’s so, so easy to get lost in Wei Wuxian.
When they part, Lan Wangji isn’t the only one who is blushing, much to his delight.
“Wei Ying,” he whispers and brushes his lips over the red dusted on his cheeks.
“Aiyo, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whines, as if he’s suddenly embarrassed and Lan Wangji allows himself a small smile.
“Wei Ying wanted my attention,” he whispers and kisses his way down Wei Wuxian’s cheek.
“I did, I did, I do,” Wei Wuxian gives back and slings his arms fully around Lan Wangji’s neck.
“Wei Ying has it,” Lan Wangji goes on and readily meets Wei Wuxian in another kiss.
Wei Wuxian has all of his attention, and Lan Wangji doubts he could ever look away again.