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Taehyung starts to wonder if something is wrong when he wakes up for the fifth morning in a row feeling more tired than he was before he went to sleep.

He's been tossing and turning for days now, coming in and out of sleep throughout the night, his dreams vague and confusing and draining. Every morning he wakes up to his sheets tangled into an impossible mess around him, his duvet flung off the end of the bed, his pillow down by his feet and his pajamas all twisted around his body. Bouts of insomnia aren't exactly uncommon for Taehyung--in fact, it's pretty well known that he's likely to have trouble sleeping any time they're nearing a comeback--but something about it all feels odd to him. He's worried he might be getting sick, but he hasn't really felt off.

Taehyung realizes something is wrong later that morning.

He heads down to the kitchen for breakfast not long after getting up and finds Yoongi and Hobi already up, blearily making coffee for the rest of the group.

"Oh, thank god," Tae groans, reaching out grabby hands for a mug before Yoongi shoos him away while he makes a cup. "I'm exhausted."

Hobi shoots Tae a concerned frown. "Tae-ah, are you alright? You almost never drink coffee. Is it your insomnia again?"

Tae groans and sits down at the table with Hobi, Yoongi following after with his and Tae's mug. Tae takes a grateful sip before answering, thankful that Yoongi made it the way he likes it if he has to drink coffee--syrupy, sugary, and sweet. "Ugh, I guess so. It's been almost a week now and I'm sleeping like shit."

"But it's not comeback season," Yoongi points out.

"I know," Tae answers, pouting slightly. "I don't know what's going on and nothing is seeming to help." Tae sighs, taking another sip of his coffee, wincing at the bit of bitterness that creeps through all the milk and sugar. "I just wish I had someone to cuddle with while I fall asleep. That always helps me."

Yoongi shrugs, leaning back in his chair. "Jungkook will do it."

Taehyung startles, turning his head to study his hyung. "Uh… what?"

Yoongi rolls his eyes good-naturedly at Tae before standing up to go the kitchen and get started on breakfast. "You two are always all over each other, and he spends the night with you like, half the time anyway. Just ask him. Problem solved."

Taehyung is lost for words, but Hobi seems to think nothing of it. "Yeah, Tae-ah, that'll help. Just cuddle your Jungkookie for a few nights and you'll be good as new." He stands too, off to set the table for breakfast, and ruffles Tae's hair as he passes, but Tae barely feels it.

Is that what everyone thinks, what they all see? Are Tae and Jungkook that clingy with each other--or worse: is Tae that clingy with Jungkook?

No, that can't be true, Tae thinks to himself. They're just being snarky.

Except right about then, the rest of the group pile into the kitchen in various states of dress and disarray, a cacophony of yawns and groans for coffee and food. Hobi shoos them towards the table, where he's already set out everyone's coffee mugs, and flits off to grab the pot to pour them all cups. Taehyung looks up and makes an effort to greet the rest of his bandmates as usual--but when he looks to his right, he notices that Hobi has placed Jungkook's Overwatch mug at the place next to his.

Taehyung keeps paying attention. He notices that the other members leave the seat next to Jungkook in the van open, as if they leave it purposefully for Taehyung. He notices that when the managers are looking for Jungkook, they instinctively look to Tae as well, as if assuming he will be wherever the maknae is. He notices that when they're heading to the cars at the end of the day, Namjoon smiles and says something quiet to Jungkook, gently pushing him towards the car Taehyung is heading to without any prompting, even though Jungkook had been in conversation with the leader, leaving Jungkook looking vaguely irritated. He notices how Jungkook seems relaxed enough as Taehyung approaches the seat near him, but seems to tense up when Tae gets closer, his shoulders stiffening as he turns his face just slightly away.

How long has this been going on that everyone just assumes he and Jungkook are a package deal? They've always been close, sure--Taehyung was the one who most helped Jungkook open up and settle into the affection and skinship his hyungs offered so easily--but something about it all rubs Taehyung the wrong way. He's not sure exactly what it is, but there's a lot he's feeling. There's irritation that everyone expects them to be close all the time; annoyance that the whole thing makes him feel bound to Jungkook in some way; anger that it's taken him so long to notice; guilt that he might have inadvertently forced Jungkook into some kind of unspoken duo--and underpinning it all, some kind of churning, chafing discomfort, a twisting in his gut he can't quite name, something sharp and slick that feels two steps away from shame and adjacent to fear.

Thankfully, Taehyung feels like he's not alone in his complicated cocktail of frustration and confusion. Just from what he's seen today, Taehyung feels pretty confident that Jungkook is also getting tired of the constant push together. There have been flashes of irritation and discomfort in Jungkook all day: a huff when the managers called out for Taehyung when they were looking for Jungkook; a scowl when Namjoon pushed Jungkook towards Tae's car; a tightness in his frame when he made room for Taehyung to sit; a careful smoothing of his expression when Jungkook looked up and saw Tae studying him, something like irritation carefully concealed. Knowing the maknae well, in his opinion, Taehyung guesses that Jungkook is feeling a lot of frustration in being stuck next to Tae for everything, regardless of how close they might be.

With this in mind, Taehyung decides that the best course of action is to distance himself from Jungkook as best as he can, so the others will stop thinking of them together. He's determined to earn them both back their own space, to right any accidental wrongs he might have unconsciously caused. He's sure he's doing the right thing, feeling relieved at the idea of stopping this weirdness and sure Jungkook will be relieved, too.

And if there's a subtle undercurrent of uneasiness and sadness Taehyung feels at the idea, he ignores it.

Taehyung starts slowly, not wanting to make anything seem like a big deal or alarm any of the other members. He just takes little steps to hold himself a little farther away from the youngest member: positioning himself away from Jungkook in interviews or sitting away from him in the car. At first, he passes it off as coincidence--Taehyung hangs back so there isn't space by Jungkook in the van once he gets there or makes sure to joke around with another member right before they sit down for an interview so it's only natural to stay with them when they're ushered into their seats.

Even when it starts to become more purposeful, Taehying choosing to sit or stand a little away from Jungkook, it's nothing out of the ordinary; in fact, it's not uncommon for the managers to switch up the members that are grouped together in various situations so as to ensure that no fans pick up tension where there isn't any; even Taehyung and Jungkook specifically have been on the receiving end of such a change several times, usually because of some careful monitoring of the fanbase and public speculation about how close or distant certain pairings might be. In those instances, Jungkook and Taehyung were usually quickly briefed by a manager, maybe Namjoon, and casually asked to stay a little farther apart whenever they're being filmed, maybe even asked to spend time with a specific member if the public's gotten it in their head that there's some kind of issue when there definitely isn't. There are seven of them, and they can't always have two of them being together all the time, so those short spans help keep the balance, and they all know that. But Jungkook wasn't taken aside by anyone lately, and though Tae can see the slight hint of confusion in Jungkook's face when he picks up on the pattern, he can also see that the maknae doesn't really think anything of it.

But it's different when Tae's enforcing a separation no one asks for, and he didn't expect it. He might still be frustrated about how the rest of their team seems to see them as a pair, but once he starts taking some distance from Jungkook, he starts to miss their closeness. Even worse, he starts to feel like he's doing something wrong, because he's staying away from Jungkook but didn't let the youngest know. Usually, they both know if there's some reason they're supposed to stay apart, and maybe it makes it easier to swallow if they know what's going on and they both can laugh through it, knowing that they're in on the secret.

This time, it's Jungkook who's not in on the secret, but somehow Taehyung is the one who ends up feeling left out of the loop.

Taehyung fully realizes that he's getting a little short-tempered with the whole thing only about a week after he decided to maintain some distance. They're in a short video interview, one of the many they'll do in this same studio space over the course of the day. It's the fifth interview they've done so far and they're all running a little thin, coffee cups and water bottles being hastily snatched from tired hands by managers and assistants only moments before the camera starts rolling and another interviewer starts asking them the same questions they've heard a million times before. It's usually at this point that Tae would be reaching for another member, often Jungkook, playing with his ear, ruffling up his hair, or just shooting him silly looks to keep the boredom at bay. But Taehyung purposefully sat himself down on the opposite end of the couch from Jungkook, so instead of the maknae poking back at Taehyung's leg or carding his fingers through the long hair at the nape of Tae's neck, Jungkook's got his hands pressed to the back of Namjoon's shoulders, the leader seating in front of them, Jungkook's thumbs absentmindedly stroking along the line of Namjoon's neck.

Taehyung isn't sure what it is about the action that bothers him so much. It's not that he's starving for affection--right now, Jin is bumping his foot periodically against Tae's, catching the younger's gaze to send him quick smiles. The interview before, Jimin had spent half the time with his hand delicately perched on Tae's thigh, right above the knee. He'd even gotten to spend the car ride over this morning leaning into Hoseok, sleepily passing a cup of coffee back and forth as they watched a video on Tae's iPad. And Tae knows it's not fair, because he's the one who's decided they need some distance; he's the one who feels unsettled lately when they're too close, his stomach twisting like there's something wrong. But watching Jungkook gently rub at Namjoon's neck as the leader speaks is giving rise to a potent kind of annoyance in Taehyung.

The worst part is that Jungkook doesn't even look at him through the interview, even though they're only separated by Hoseok. It isn't until after the interview that Jungkook removes his hands from Namjoon with a gentle squeeze to his hyung's shoulders, rolling his own to work out the stiffness of standing for nearly an hour, and shoots Taehyung a cheeky grin, the way he almost always would after one of their interviews. Usually, Tae would smirk back, or waggle his eyebrows dramatically at the youngest, or purse his lips in a mocking imitation of the look their strictest manager likely shot them during the interview when they goofed off. But today, the feeling of watching Jungkook's delicate thumbs stroke along Namjoon's tan neck sits like a stone in Taehyung's stomach, and he looks away from Jungkook before he can grimace at the younger.

Several days later finds the band at dance rehearsals, swimming in lose tee shirts and sweatpants as they run through choreography again and again. Jungkook's been giving Taehyung probing looks since the interview day, seeking him out in the apartment more than usual, but Taehyung has managed to find reasons to avoid the youngest when they're not together in a group or working. He's felt Jungkook's eyes on him all through practice, too, and even Jimin is starting to notice an odd tension between the two other members of the maknae line. Taehyung is resolutely ignoring it, playing around with Jin and paying fervent attention to Hoseok as they run through steps, not letting his gaze slip to Jungkook or Jimin.

Eventually they break for lunch, the members shaking out tense muscles and chugging water as they discuss their plans for the hour they have until they have to be back for more rehearsal. Jin packed lunch and is heading up to a quick fitting for a new costume for tour, and he darts out of the room with his backpack nearly as soon as the choreographer calls the break. Namjoon heads out with Hoseok to grab food from the café downstairs, likely planning on going up to Joon's studio to continue talking about a set of tricky lyrics they've been working on the past couple of days. With the backup dancers and managers filing out as well, Taehyung is suddenly left with just three of his members. Jungkook is hovering awkwardly by the opposite wall, eyes downcast as he fiddles with his water bottle and pretends to stare at his phone. Jimin stands between him and Tae, looking between the two with a furrowed brow. And an oblivious Yoongi is rolling his bad shoulder back by the door, his eyes closed as he stretches through the tightness.

Most days, Taehyung would likely flit over to Jungkook, grabbing Jimin along the way and dragging them both out or over to other members to get food together. They'd probably go get lunch and bring it back upstairs while Jimin practiced a solo dance, sitting on the floor and mocking Jimin or showing each other funny videos, sharing their lunches even though they weren't supposed to bring food into the practice rooms. They'd probably sit and chat for a while after they ate, maybe wander the building to look for their hyungs, make up some silly game to play with Jimin, or just find a spot to sit together and rest for a while, likely resulting in a quick nap where Taehyung would probably bear hug Jungkook because he sleeps better that way. There's a part of Taehyung that just wants to go back to that, to normal.

But, as if Jungkook heard his thoughts, the youngest suddenly looks up and realizes that most everyone is gone and Taehyung is right there, his expression morphing from hesitant to relieved as he starts to walk towards Taehyung, almost like he was waiting for the room to mostly clear so he could catch Tae alone, probably assuming they'll act like normal and spend the break together like usual. And immediately, Tae panics.

"Yoongi-hyung!" he bursts out, scooping up his bag from the floor and nearly skipping towards the other man. Yoongi looks up at Tae with a startled expression on his face, letting his shoulder and arm drop as he glances over at Jungkook, frozen mid-stride, before looking back to Tae with a furrowed brow.

"What's up Tae-ah?" he asks cautiously. His eyes flicker once more to Jungkook, who's looking down at the floor again, and then back to Taehyung.

Tae plasters an insincere smile on his face and swings an arm around Yoongi's shoulders, steering them both out of the room. "We need to get lunch, hyung, and I was thinking maybe we could go and grab something together. Maybe you can tell me about that new song I heard you working on the other night?"

"New song?" he asks, picking up his bag slowly and looking at Tae with some small hint of confusion.

"Yeah! The one that has that line about empty streets at night?" Suddenly Yoongi scowls.

"Yah, you're not supposed to come by my studio unannounced and just listen at the door, brat!" Yoongi complains, bumping his shoulder into Tae's as the younger laughs.

"I'm sorry, hyung, I didn't mean to! I was just coming back from a meeting and heard the piano and stopped for a second to listen, honest! But it sounded so good and I wanted you to tell me about it, especially since I'm trying to write and compose more myself." He flashes a more genuine grin at the older man, who rolls his eyes and grumbles under his breath but continues walking with Tae, his earlier hesitation and confusion seemingly forgotten. Taehyung breathes a sigh of relief as Yoongi starts up complaining about how difficult this song has been and works hard not to look behind him.

But he isn't entirely successful. They finish gathering their stuff and make it out into the hallway before Yoongi realizes he left his water bottle sitting on the ground in the practice room and ducks back to grab it, mumbling something about how the managers are on him about drinking more water lately and leaving Tae waiting. He doesn't mean to look into the room, but he can't help it-his eyes flicker back to the open doorway. He can't see Yoongi, but he can see Jungkook--and Jimin.

Jimin is standing in front of the maknae with his hands lifted, cradling Jungkook's face in his palms. Jungkook is holding Jimin's forearms and looking down as the other 95 liner seems to speak insistently to the younger. As Taehyung watches, Jimin uses his grip to gently tilt Jungkook's face up, drawing eye contact from the younger so he can say something. Jungkook chews on his lip, his eyes darting away, before he finally nods and re-centers his gaze on his hyung. His hands drop from Jimin's arms to grab the front of his hoodie, fingers straightening before curling tighter into the fabric, bringing the older man closer to his body so Jimin can wrap the maknae in a tender hug. Taehyung feels something dark twist in his abdomen, a little bit jealous and a little bit guilty, as he watches the way Jungkook sinks into hugging Jimin, no tension present in their contact, the ease with which they draw comfort from each other visible from where he stands.

Yoongi comes back through the doorway at that moment, swinging an arm around Tae as he apologizes for the quick delay. As Tae is turned to go with Yoongi down the hall, he glances back briefly to look through the doorway. He accidentally catches Jungkook's eyes in the mirror, and he's a little shocked to see blankness in the normally lively eyes of their youngest member. Before he has time to contemplate it or try and turn back, Yoongi whisks him away to their lunch and Jungkook looks back down to the ground, breaking eye contact.

By the end of the week, Taehyung is having a hard time even looking at Jungkook, and the rest of the members seem to be starting to notice something's not quite right between the two youngest. Where Tae would usually drag Jungkook to his room or let the maknae crawl into the bed after a long day of rehearsals, he instead excuses himself to his room as soon as they get back and locks the door with a definitive click. Where Taehyung would usually invite Jungkook to play some Overwatch with him after their show that Thursday, the instead grabs a few bottles of Soju from the store down the corner and spends the evening playing Mariokart with Hoseok as he tries to ignore the giggles filtering out from Jungkook's room. Where Taehyung would usually make a Friday morning breakfast of double toast and coffee, knowing Jungkook always comes down to split breakfast with Tae, he finds himself pouring the second cup down the drain on Friday morning after he makes it on autopilot before Jungkook breezes past him to grab his own bowl of cereal and a bottled latte without sparing Taehyung a second glance.

In fact, it seems to him like the youngest has decided to ignore Taehyung just as thoroughly as Tae is ignoring him. Jungkook is no longer shooting Taehyung inquisitive, confused, or hurt looks--he's not looking at Tae at all. He acts friendly enough on camera and in front of staff, but he keeps his distance, choosing to buddy up to someone else-and when they get home, he barely even acknowledges Taehyung exists at all. Tae knows this is both what he wanted and fair reparation for how he's been treating Jungkook, but it still burns, setting Tae's jaw clenching in annoyance and a measure of guilt.

Taehyung can't help feeling like he's made a critical mistake and he's pushing Jungkook away, but when he considers the alternative--going back to the strangely loaded closeness, the expectations from the others--he decides he must be making the right choice. He spends sleepless hours on Saturday night unable to stop dwelling on his discomfort, and wonders if there might be more to the tension he feels about the whole thing. It would only be natural to get a little uncomfortable with too much of an expectation of closeness, given the fervor with which the fans analyze and dissect their interactions, right? The constant awareness of the fan's opinions has created a need to be hyperaware of the contact he shares with any of his members--especially Jungkook--whenever they're on camera or in public. But maybe Tae subconsciously realized they've gotten too comfortable lately, and the negativity Taehyung is feeling is probably also rooted in the fact that he's nervous about how negligent they've gotten and nervous about what might happen if they don't do something to stop it. It's only natural, he repeats like a mantra, and by the time he's able to fall asleep, around five in the morning, he starts to believe that all they need is a few weeks of distance, a later conversation to explain the decision, and they'll be good as new and back to normal, close without fear and the discomfort Taehyung is feeling and with no odd expectant looks or behavior from anyone else.

All that confidence, however, starts to fall apart on Sunday. He remembers not to make double breakfast this time, watching out of the corner of his eye as Jungkook reheats some rice and fries an egg for his breakfast, chatting with Namjoon as he cooks. He offers to make their leader breakfast, too, and given how much of a klutz Joon is in the kitchen, he readily accepts. If something acidic twists low in Taehyung's stomach when Jungkook offers, he chooses not to notice it, only taking a second to reason that he's just annoyed because sharing breakfasts had been their tradition once, and he's having to go without their morning routine. But he's not mad or upset-this was his choice.

In the van on the way to tape an episode of Run BTS later that day, if Taehyung chooses to lean his head against the cool window to try and catch a little bit of sleep, it's because he didn't get much the night before. It has nothing to do with the fact that Jungkook sits in the row in front of him, curled up into Jin as the two of them talk quietly before falling asleep, the full line of Jin's body pressed into the line of Jungkook's, their heads leaning together as they doze.

And if Tae chooses to get his hair done before his makeup when they get to set, even though he always prefers to get his makeup done first, it's just because he know his hair must be really rumpled from his restless night and he wants to make sure he has enough time to get it fully fixed before filming. It has nothing to do with the way Hoseok drapes himself over Jungkook at the makeup mirrors, perching his head on the youngest's shoulder and pressing his palms flat to Jungkook's chest as they giggle about something on Jungkook's phone.

And if Tae pushes to be put on Yoongi's team for the challenge, it's only because he wants to. It has nothing to do with the fact that Namjoon already chose Jungkook for his team, wrapping his arm around Jungkook's shoulder to anchor the youngest to the leader's side.

But by the time they're about to hit their lunch break, Taehyung is starting to get irritated enough that he isn't even sure he can call it anything other than jealousy and frustration. It comes to a head as Jin finishes a challenge for Namjoon's team, the last one they're set to record before eating. He's the last person to go, and when he completes the challenge in record time, Jungkook and his team celebrate. Namjoon high fives the eldest when he gets back to where the team is standing, but Jungkook crashes into Jin's outstretched arms as the older man whoops in joy. Usually if anyone does the lifting in their group it's Jungkook, but Jin is excited because winning this challenge impacts their dinner menu, and Taehyung watches with a bitter taste in his mouth as his hyung sweeps Jungkook up slightly, the maknae giggling madly as Jin wraps his arms around Jungkook's waist and bounces them up and down as he shouts his excitement. Tae can just see that Jungkook's hands are holding his own elbows to anchor him around Jin and his head is thrown back as he laughs, the line of his jaw sharp and his mouth open wide in one of his happiest smiles.

Suddenly, Taehyung can't stop a barrage of images flying through his head-all the times Jungkook picked up him like that, or let Taehyung pick him up and swing him around. The wide-mouthed, bunny-toothed, crinkly-eyed smiles Taehyung used to coax from the maknae as easily as Yoongi coaxes melodies from piano keys. The way Jungkook would launch himself at Tae during similar situations in Run episode filmings when they'd be on the same team, grabbing his hands tight and bouncing up and down and pressing their chests together in a tight hug.

Taehyung can't help the scowl that crosses his face. Jimin seems to spot it, patting Taehyung on the back like he thinks it's because they just lost the challenge. It must be because we lost the challenge, Tae thinks to himself. Now we're behind, and I hate losing. He works his expression into a low smile that is only appropriately bitter as Jin lets Jungkook down, both still giggling, and the director calls cut as the cameras shut off and the lights dim. Jimin takes a step towards Tae, as if to say something about the challenge, but before he can Tae shrugs--hopefully pulling off the "a little annoyed but okay" vibe he's trying for--before mumbling something about the bathroom and turning on his heel to stride back to their dressing room as quickly as he can manage, only swinging through to grab a prepackaged sandwich, his phone, and his headphones.

It's Jimin, too, who finds him in the lounges slash bathroom, 45 minutes later with the water running cold over Taehyung's hands as he stares blankly in the mirror.

"Hey, Tae," Jimin greets slowly, reaching forward to turn off the tap. "I've been looking for you. Didn't see you with everyone at lunch."

Taehyung shakes himself out of it with effort, flashing a wan smile at his best friend's face in the mirror.

"Hey, Jiminie. Sorry-I didn't sleep well last night, so I went looking for a quiet place to sit for a minute and try and get some energy back. This was the best I could find. I must have fallen asleep on that little chaise back by the door." Tae hadn't closed his eyes for longer than it took to blink the entire time he'd been here, but Jimin didn't need to know that. "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry."

"It's okay," Jimin responds casually, stepping forward hesitantly as Taehyung towels off his cold hands with robotic movements. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You've seemed… off lately."

Tahyung barks out a flat laugh and turns to gather his phone and headphones off the seat. "Just tired, Jimin-ah. Busy schedule and all that."

Jimin frowns slightly as Tae turns and pockets his phone. "Well, sure, Tae-ah. But we're all busy, all the time. This seems… like something's going on."

"I'm just not sleeping all that well, Jimin," Tae replies softly, averting his eyes. "You know I sometimes get into periods where I can't sleep well."

Jimin hums in agreement, stepping closer to Tae and putting a hand on his shoulder. "Have you tried sleeping in anyone's bed with them? That usually helps."

Taehyung meets his gaze for a moment before looking away, knowing Jimin will see the truth in his face if he holds eye contact. "I did, actually," he lies easily. "It didn't help. Sometimes it doesn't."

"Huh," Jimin says, his voice determinedly even "I thought it always did. You usually just spend a few nights in Jungkook's bed and you're fine."

Taehyung swallows, hard, and steps away. "Sometimes it's more that I've been spending too much time with someone else--in their bed--and I need to reset so I can sleep alone again. I'll be fine in a day or two." Taehyung wonders if his best friend can hear his slip up, if he knows what Taehyung accidentally alluded to.

Taehyung looks up to find Jimin studying him closely. "Sure," he says easily, stepping around Taehyung to move to the sink. "It's funny, actually," he continues, turning on the tap to warm. "Jungkook is also having trouble sleeping right now."

Taehyung is glad Jimin is facing away and looking down at his hands as he washes them, because at his words something in Tae's stomach drops and he knows his face probably twists in longingangerfrustrationguilt in response. He schools his expression quickly, though, as Jimin flicks his eyes up to meet Taehyung's gaze in the mirror.

"Sorry to hear that," Tae responds breezily. "Maybe he's just stressed."

Jimin levels him with a long but inscrutable look as he turns off the tap. "Maybe," he says finally, dropping his gaze to grab paper towels to dry his hands. "Maybe you should talk to him." Taehyung freezes as Jimin silences for a moment. "Give him advice as to how you deal with insomnia." He turns around to look up at Taehyung, but Tae has folded his arms across his chest and is looking away.

"I doubt that would help, Minnie-ah," Taehyung says with forced lightness, using a nickname he knows makes Jimin's eye twitch in annoyance but one he won't ask them to stop using. "If I'm not having much luck fixing my own situation, I doubt I can help him." Jimin starts to open his mouth, but Tae turns and opens the door before he can speak. "I'll ask Yoongi-hyung to say something to him. He's always helpful with stuff like this. But we should get back. We start filming again soon." Tae pauses before looking back at Jimin, who's standing by the sinks with a flat expression on his face.

"Yeah, you're right," he eventually says, walking slowly past Taehyung's outstretched hand holding the door open. They walk silently back to where the others are, an odd tension in the air between them, but when they get back Jimin shoots him a strangely sad, small smile before striding off to where the other members are laughing together.

The rest of the day passes by slowly, with Tae holding himself separate from the others as much as possible. He tries not to catch Jimin's eye for the rest of the day, tries not to notice the slight awkwardness with which the other members interact with him for the rest of filming. And if Taehyung sees the way in which Jungkook looks at Jimin with a quietly hopeful expression when they come back after lunch-if he sees the way Jimin faintly shakes his head and Jungkook's face falls before he schools his expression--Taehyung does everything he can to pretend he didn't see anything at all.

Over the next two weeks, Taehyung somehow manages to push not only Jungkook but the rest of the members away as well. After he'd disappeared at the Run filming, everyone--save Jungkook, of course--had made a point of asking him is everything was okay at some point that day, each of them gently reminding him that he could talk to him about anything when he shut each of them down with a low "I'm fine, hyung, just tired." But he can't shake the melancholy that follows him around as the days go by, weighing down his steps and flattening his expression whenever the cameras aren't rolling.

He knows the others know something is up, something more than what they might have expected from just the loss during shooting, but he can't bring himself to say anything. This is his problem, his battle to fight, because he's the one who let his relationship with Jungkook warp in whatever way it did to lead to this, so he's the one who has to handle the consequences of reinstating some distance. He shrugs off their concern with brittle smiles and firm hands, shutting their inquiries down over and over until they each finally stop asking.

He slowly starts to turn down all of their offers to do things together as the days go by. He's just too tired--he's still barely sleeping--and when he does have time and energy to hang out with the members, he's so worried Jungkook will be there and it'll make things difficult or awkward that he just rejects all their invitations as kindly as he can. He claims he has a lot of work for his degree to catch up on, claims he's got loads of pictures he's been meaning to edit or a new video game that he wants to play. But he does nothing productive-most of his free time is spent in his small music studio, plunking out sad melodies on his keyboard, or in his bedroom, laying on the bed and staring up at the ceiling with a hollow feeling in his chest.

His public persona has started to suffer as well, murmurs of his coldness coming back again. He spends so much time now constantly vigilant to the distance between him and Jungkook that he's lost focus in interviews and in concerts. The managers have to take him aside after a week to ask him if everything is okay and gently reprimand him for the cracks he's been showing. He feigns exhaustion, again, and they give him two days to rest. He barely sleeps any more than than he has been, but he does get to spend two days in the complex mostly by himself, which is nice. He gets a break from Jungkook's increasingly stony demeanor when Taehyung is nearby, from his hyungs' concerned looks, from Jimin's probing questions, and that, at least, allows him to rest a little. He's not better, not by a long shot, but the rest helps him enough to get him through the rest of the second week without too much difficulty.

But by the start of the following week, he's starting to drag again. He hasn't gotten a good night's sleep in nearly a month now, and he knows it's starting to show under his eyes. The others have stopped asking if he's okay at every turn, but he knows they're still following most of his movements with concerned eyes, and Taehyung has had to start locking his door at night in fear of one of them trying to come in to check on him or slide into bed to spend the night with him after he hears footsteps and whispers outside of his room two nights in a row.

The problem is that Taehyung knows that he can't do anything to fix this--none of them can. He's having a rough time because he's having to be so rigorous about keeping his distance from Jungkook, and that's causing a whole host of small problems that are wearing on him more and more each day.

He never realized just how intertwined they were, and having to be so careful to keep a distance while still acting natural on camera is draining to his brain. Plus, noticing the other members' concern grates on his nerves, because Tae has never been great about other people keeping such close track of him-it tends to make him feel caged in. He's feeling lonely because he's barely spent any quality time with the members in weeks, and he hasn't had any real skinship in almost as long.

And on top of all of it, he feels guilty for clearly causing the Jungkook some measure of hurt, anger, and distress, frustration at the need to keep a distance (and frustration at the others for putting him in this situation, since it was their attitudes he first noticed), and a low undercurrent of uncertainty because he doesn't know why it's not getting better. It's been three weeks of pulling away, but the others still seem hopeful that Tae will sit with Jungkook at dinner, the managers still pushing them together in the organizational structure-and now underneath it all Taehyung has been feeling these unsettling, discomfiting swoops in his stomach when he gets close to Jungkook on camera, something that has to be somewhere between guilt, frustration, and something like pain.

He wants to talk to one of the others, maybe Namjoon or Hoseok, but he doesn't even know how he would begin to have that conversation: Hey, hyung. You know how I've been weird for the past few weeks? Well, it's because I realized that everyone just kinda expects us to always be together, and that made me feel inexplicably weird, and I thought we needed distance to get things back to normal but it hasn't helped and now Kookie seems annoyed and everyone else is just concerned. What should I do?

Yeah, that won't work.

But Taehyung can't ignore that he needs to do something new, because what he's been doing clearly isn't working. He just doesn't think he can come up with a new plan unless he gets some decent sleep-and unfortunately, that means one thing:

He needs to ask someone to sleep in his room for a few nights.

Jimin was right those weeks ago: Taehyung always sleeps better when he can share a bed with someone. He's a cuddler by nature, and he tends to get unsettled and restless if he spends too many nights in a bed by himself. He can manage okay if he's sharing a room with someone, mostly because he can just sneak into their bed every few nights to settle himself, but now that they've moved to a bigger place and have their own rooms, he sometimes hits these slumps where he needs someone to share the bed with him. He knows on the one hand that this comes from the fact that he doesn't sleep well without something in his arms, but he doesn't understand why he gets like this-something about too many nights in an empty room and a too-big bed makes him feel alone in a deep, visceral way. It gives him nightmares, after a while, and he usually ends up waking up over and over again in the night, not settling into sleep for a long period of time until the sun starts to rise and light up his room.

Ever since they moved into the new place, it had been Jungkook who would let Tae sleep in his bed, every few nights without fail. After a while, the others stopped expecting Tae to show up in their rooms, figuring if he needed it, he'd be at Jungkook's. But now that he and Jungkook are staying apart, Tae has no one else who might come knocking and offer, no one to expect him.

Tae sits on his bed for several moments after making this determination, trying to figure out who to ask to stay with him that night. Jungkook is obviously a no. Not Namjoon either--their leader snores way too loudly, and Taehyung has had enough nights of listing to the lawnmover next to him, thank you.

Yoongi would do it only if Tae told him how much he needed it, but then that would mean having to get into a whole conversation about why he needs someone to share the bed and why Jungkook hasn't been doing it, and while everyone has some inkling of the tension between the two, he doesn't exactly feel like getting into the specifics of either situation right now, and Yoongi wouldn't rest until he'd figured out what was going on.

Jin would be a good bet, but the oldest has been sick this week, and that means he has to be careful about staying away from the others to keep them from getting whatever he has. He would ask Jimin-his best friend has frequently shared Tae's bed, he's a good cuddler, and he knows about Tae's whole sleeping situation so he wouldn't question the request-but Taehyung really doesn't feel like having to listen to Jimin's "I told you so" over and over again, especially since it would mean Jimin would figure out that Tae had lied about sharing a bed with Jungkook, and the other 95 liner wouldn't rest until he'd gotten to the bottom of what was going on.

That leaves Hoseok--light snoring, knows Tae likes to have people in the bed with him at night, cheerful but not so inquisitive he'll interrogate Tae, and always down for good nighttime cuddles.

When Taehyung realizes this, he smiles his first genuine smile in about a week. Maybe he'll finally get some good sleep, which will help him figure out what his next steps should be on this whole Jungkook issue. Maybe Hoseok will even agree to spending several nights with Taehyung, which would even get him enough energy back to figure out a way to apologize to his members for being distant without really referencing there being a problem, which will help improve his mental state and help him refocus on fixing this Jungkook issue once and for all.

Taehyung stands up to go look for Hoseok, excited and feeling like everything is going to be alright now. He checks Hobi's room first, and when he doesn't find his hyung he heads into the complex to try and find the other member. As he approaches the living room, Taehyung hears faint voices, like two people whispering, but Tae can't make out what they're saying, or who the voices belong to. He can hear that the TV is on, playing some movie lowly in the background, but the noise is still enough to drown out the voices. Tae opens his mouth, rounding the corner and preparing to ask whoever is in there if they've seen Hoseok, when the two figures on the couch startle and look up as Taehyung's stomach drops to his feet.

Jungkook and Hoseok are sitting on the couch, the lights almost all off and the TV casting oddly colored shadows on their faces. They've got most of the pillows piled against one side of the couch so Hoseok can lean back and still be situated right in front of the TV. Hobi is angled to the right, his back to the cushions against the arm of the chair. His legs are bent and bracketing the front edge of the couch, and Jungkook is curled up between Hobi and the back of the couch, leaning his weight back into Hobi's torso and letting Hobi's legs lean into his body as the older man cards his fingers through the maknae's hair. Jungkook's got his left arm braced on Hobi's shoulder, holding the weight of his head and neck up, and his left hand is tapping out a rhythm on Hobi's knee where it's propped up next to him. At the sound of Taehyung entering in the room, they both look up in surprise, Jungkook's fingers pausing their tapping.

"Oh," Taehyung gasps, stopping in his tracks. Jungkook blinks wildly at him before looking down, but Hoseok grimaces slightly and holds eye contact.

"Hey, Tae," he says cautiously. "What's up?"

Tae stares for a moment before looking away from his hyung. "Sorry, I was just looking for Namjoon, but he's not here. Sorry to interrupt. Have a nice night." He turns to go, hearing Hoseok call out a confused "Tae?" behind him, but Taehyung is already taking off.

He makes it back to his room in moments and has to consciously remember not to let the door slam, locking it behind him before collapsing onto his bed. He's weirdly winded, panting slightly even though he only walked a few steps, and his stomach keeps twisting unpleasantly.

He can't get the image out of his head-the way Jungkook looked all curled up with Hoseok, so sweet and sad and almost delicate, like Hobi had been holding him together. They looked so comfortable, enjoying skinskip and the friendly intimacy they all crave with ease. Not for the first time Taehyung angrily tries to understand why seemingly everybody else can have skinship with their maknae without all the extra baggage, wondering what about him makes him dwell on the issue without reprieve. None of them are having the issue Taehyung is, and he just doesn't understand why it's just him who's spinning out of control right now.

He also wonders if Jungkook has ever felt that comfortable with him, or if that irritation and annoyance he saw all those weeks ago was something that's been there for a long time, but he just missed.

As Taehyung miserably shuts out the light and settles into bed for another long night of tossing and turning, he also dwells on the way their youngest had looked in the living room. There'd been a hollowness in Jungkook's eyes in those split seconds before he registered Taehyung's presence in full, something dull and sad that Taehyung isn't sure he's ever seen before in the maknae's face. Something about Jungkook was smaller, too, as if something was pressing him down the way Taehyung's been feeling pressed down these last few weeks. Taehyung yearns to go talk to him, to ask him what's bothering him, to tug him into a hug and comfort him-but he knows he can't. Even if he's the only one who can't handle himself, he needs to scale back on his affection with Jungkook-for their image, for their fans, for Jungkook, and for himself-and that means distance, even when it aches.

Hoseok tries to talk to Taehyung the next morning, but Tae plays dumb--"what do you mean, Hobi-hyung? I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"--and the older man drops it, albeit with some degree of hesitation and suspicion. Taehyung tries to divert attention by throwing himself into their work for the week--primarily vocal lessons, a few recording sessions, some costume fittings, meetings for a few upcoming performances, and lots and lots of dance rehearsals.

Taehyung goes all out all week--staying during lunch breaks to scarf down a quick protein bar or wrap before launching into another run-through of the choreography in the empty room; breaking away from the others after their last meeting of the day to go back to his own studio and work on the lyrics for the solo song he wants to release soon instead of going to dinner with the rest of them; getting up at seven am on their one later morning to hit the gym for two hours with his personal trainer instead of hanging around for family breakfast like he usually would; getting one of the managers to get a separate car to take him from their meeting to the practice rooms to work through some of their new songs instead of going back home. He makes a point not to come back home until one or two am most nights, so that he can slip back into their apartment after everyone's already fallen asleep and he doesn't have to answer any questions. He's exhausted, his feet dragging more and more and the bags under his eyes darkening every day, but at least being productive means he spends less time thinking.

He's spending less time talking to the other members, too, choosing to put in his headphones and stay removed from the others during most every car ride, meal break, or rehearsal. Several of the others start trying to talk to him again, attempting to corner him in dressing rooms and practice studios, but he manages to slip away with increasingly poor excuses each time. He's worried it's only a matter of time until one of them either calls a group meeting on him, or worse-calls in a manager or Bang PD to get to the bottom what's going on. Taehyung knows he needs to fix all of this, but he can't seem to come up with anything that will help.

Jungkook won't even look at him anymore, the only moments of anything even close to interaction happening on camera. But since this week is mainly focused on rehearsals, meetings, and prep, the only camera time they get is in very sparse Bangtan Bomb filming, so he gets maybe five minutes of interaction with Jungkook total through the week. Taehyung laments this--he never wanted to cut Jungkook out entirely with this whole distance thing, just pull away from their skinskip a little, get some space. But then this twisting, uncomfortable feeling showed up, and Jungkook decided to maintain his own space in response to Tae, and now everything feels completely wrong.

Taehyung's spent the hours he would normally be sleeping trying to figure out where he went wrong. He's gone over it a million times in his head. But it's been weeks, and instead of Taehyung having helpfully reinstated some distance between the two of them, he's just managed to make himself exhausted and miserable, his hyungs worried, and Jungkook upset.

He doesn't know what went wrong. He figures not explaining this all to Jungkook might have made things worse, but it would have been too hard to explain, especially since Jungkook didn't seem to have the same hang-ups as Taehyung apparently did. Saying something would have been awkward and difficult-and probably would have made Jungkook embarrassed and self-conscious, Tae reasons-so not telling him was the best option. His plan made sense. His plan should have worked.

But it's been a month, and Tae is at a loss. Nothing is right, everyone is upset, and the group's dynamic is all off. Jungkook oscillates between cold and closed off when Taehyung is around and clingy and sad when Jungkook thinks he's not. Taehyung hasn't spent free time with the others in weeks; he hasn't had any contact with them in almost as long-no hugs, no cuddles, no hands in his hair or soothing palms on his back or fingers threaded through his. He feels strung out from no physical contact, exhausted from his inability to sleep, overwrought after his week of pushing himself too hard, and mentally all muddled up.

Eventually they have what Taehyung secretly calls an odd jobs day. Those are the days where all of the members have different schedules, each of them running around and completing small odd tasks that have fallen to the side over the weeks in favor of their other tasks and events. Everyone's schedule will differ--some of them have multiple things to do, some of them have tasks they need to work on on their own, and some of them get blessed with time to relax. Taehyung's tasks for the day are thankfully minimal. He goes into the studios in the morning, spending a few hours working on his songs before having a short V-live Q and A. He grabs a quick lunch and sends a tweet he's been saving in his drafts while he eats his sandwich, goes upstairs for a quick meeting with the choreographer about a change in his solo staging, submits the captions he wrote for his latest personal vlog, and is back home in the dorm by three pm.

As far as he knows, Taehyung is the only one there. Hoseok is spending the whole day doing work for his upcoming solo song release, reshooting bits of his music video somewhere out of town. Namjoon is, predictably, writing in the studio all day, and Jimin was vocally complaining earlier about having to go and spend most of the day running brand new choreography for their upcoming MAMA performance, since he has a solo section he hasn't gotten to work on much yet. As far as Tae knows, Jin was going to meetings and running errands before going out to dinner with friends, Yoongi said something about wardrobe fittings and the studio before meeting up with his brother for dinner, and while Taehyung doesn't know Jungkook's schedule for the day, he knows from experience that on days like this the youngest ends up in extra dance rehearsals, rerecording lyrics (at his own insistence,) working on editing one of his Golden Closet Films, at the gym, or wrapped up in an Overwatch marathon with his gaming headphones in and no intention of leaving his room, so even if he is home, he's not around. Given this, Taehyung is fairly confident he has the run of the place, and as he toes off his shoes in the entryway he physically relaxes, grateful he'll get to have a few hours to himself without having to worry about the others.

He takes a long, steamy shower, luxuriating in having time to pamper himself with a face mask and his body scrub. After that he takes about an hour to facetime his family, getting to really catch up with them after weeks of harried phone calls and texts. He even takes an hour to tidy up his room, change his sheets, and collect a load of laundry to do.

He's on his way to their washing machine, just barely humming one of their new songs under his breath, when he hears a voice from somewhere else in the house.

"Don't…. do…"

Curious as to who's home at this hour, Taehyung sets his laundry basket down on the washing machine before doubling back towards where the voice is coming from. He tracks it to Yoongi's room--lazy hyung must have come back for a nap, Taehyung thinks to himself with a wry smile--until he realizes the voice he's hearing isn't Yoongi's--it's Jungkook's.

"It's been weeks, hyung," he hears-quiet, broken. "I can't even look at him. Every time I try, it hurts too much."

Taehyung's heart flips over in his chest at the words. Is Jungkook talking about him? He must be.

"I know, Kook-ah," someone responds, definitely Yoongi this time. "I wish I knew what was going on."

"That's the thing!" Jungkook exclaims, his voice raising slightly. "This came out of nowhere. I've wracked my brain trying to figure out what I could have done, and there's nothing."

It's quiet for a moment, the only sound Tae can hear the faint shifting of fabric. "I don't think this is on you," Yoongi eventually responds softly. "I think maybe Tae's having to work something out for himself right now." Taehyung startles when he hears his name-but then again, he knew they must have been talking about him. He knows she should walk away, but he can't get his feet to move.

"What could Tae be having to work out for himself that's causing him to act like this?" Jungkook demands, somewhat desperately. "And why does it have to do with me?"

Yoongi seems to hesitate--Taehyung can tell his hyung is weighing his words, even though he can't see them--before answering cautiously. "If I'm right, I don't think it's my place to say. He might not even know what's going on himself."

Jungkook huffs in exasperation. "How can he not know why he's acting the way he is?" he asks petulantly. Yoongi barks out a short laugh but falls quietly quickly.

"My guess is that he's struggling with something right now," Yoongi explains softly.

It's silent for several moments, the aircon running gently in the background. "I just don't understand," Jungkook eventually whispers, his voice breaking. "I'd be there for him through anything."

"I know, Kookie," Yoongi murmurs sadly. They pause again, for so long this time Taehyung thinks they must have ended their conversation.

Taehyung slides down against the wall, sinking down to the floor with his head in his hands. A part of him wants to laugh, burst in and tell Jungkook sorry, I don't understand any better than you do.

Everything feels so wrong. All he'd wanted was to give them some space, to stop everyone from pushing them together. And he'd seemed tired of it, too! It was just--they had fallen into a pattern of touch and intimacy that they hadn't even questioned, almost certainly aided by everyone expecting their closeness. Taehyung's whole orbit had steadily re-centered around Jungkook, and that wasn't normal, right?

It wasn't normal to automatically make breakfast for the other, to press a soft palm to Jungkook's shoulder whenever he passed by in the mornings, to wait for Jungkook to slip into Taehyung's bed before he could try and sleep at night. It wasn't normal that Taehyung could feel calmer just from Jungkook grabbing his hand or smoothing his fingers over Tae's shoulders, and it wasn't normal that he was so comfortable with Jungkook's hands on his waist and shoulders and head and face and neck and leg and stomach and chest that he almost didn't even notice when Jungkook had touched him. It wasn't normal that they'd fallen into these habits like an old married couple, little touches and affections they shared without thought-

"Oh, god," Taehyung breathed. Like a couple.

Taehyung couldn't sleep well unless someone shared the bed with him, sure, but now he only really slept well if it was Jungkook. He'd gotten so used to it-it had felt so right to press his front to Jungkook's back, to sleep with his head on Jungkook's chest and the younger's arm around Tae's shoulders with their legs tangled together, to wake up with the soft morning sun lighting up Jungkook's hair like gold, bringing a warmth to Taehyung's chest he'd never bothered to look further into. He made breakfast for the two of them every morning out of instinct, making them eggs or granola bowls as Jungkook flowed seamlessly around him in the kitchen getting their coffee ready.

They'd sit together, eating quietly and passing the sugar or syrup or salt back and forth without even needing to say anything, their instincts that in tune. Taehyung would come brush his teeth while Jungkook shaved, passing him on the way out of the bathroom with a soft hand brushed along his back. They shared headphones, shared coffee cups and water bottles, curled up together for every nap. Until recently, it hadn't been uncommon for one of the other members to find Taehyung and Jungkook curled up on the couch before dinner, Taehyung laying between Jungkook's legs and pressed up to his chest, Jungkook's arms encircling Tae's torso and supporting most of his weight. When they walked together, more often than not Tae would have grabbed Jungkook's hand without even thinking-if Jungkook hadn't grabbed his first.

And--

Taehyung feels more comfortable with Jungkook than he did with anyone else in the group, even Jimin. No one else could cheer up him faster or read his mood swings better. Jungkook was always the one who noticed when he was getting unusually hurt by their hyungs' teasing or when he was starting to get frustrated with himself for not getting a part of the choreography. He remembered Taehyung's little tics and quirks, brought him sandwiches with no lettuce because he remembered Tae hates the texture outside of a salad, always slides in the booth first because he knows Tae hates the inside, always packs an extra face mask because he knows Tae forgets them.

And Tae--Tae can read Jungkook better than anyone, always knows his moods and anxieties. He microwaves things for him because he knows microwaves freak Jungkook out, always asks for a glass at a restaurant because Jungkook prefers to pour out his sodas, keeps a pack of tissues in his pockets or bags because Jungkook's nose runs all the time from his rhinitis but he always forgets to bring something for it.

Taehyung looks for Jungkook whenever he hears their favorite song, plays Overwatch with him even when he's tired just because he loves how excited Jungkook gets, watches his face during the climatic moment of the movie just to see Jungkook's teary smile because it makes Taehyung happy. He brings home banana milk just to cheer Jungkook up, spends hours rubbing Jungkook's back when he's stressed because he knows it helps, makes silly faces and steals Jungkook's clothes just to make him giggle.

When they share a bed, the first thing Taehyung looks for when he wakes up is Jungkook's face, soft and blurred with sleep, because he loves to watch him wake up-slowly, with a scrunched bunny nose and fluttering eyelids, large fists rubbed into his eyes like a child instead of a man in his twenties, stretching his legs out so hard they shake a little in the bed, before he flips or turns to wherever Tae is like he can't help but look for Tae first thing, too. It's always the smile Jungkook gives him--soft, just a gentle upturn of his lips, his eyes only half open, with an unbearable fondness written in every line and pore--that sends Taehyung careening. It was his favorite part of the day, and somehow, he never noticed.

A couple, with routines and the easy intimacy borne of love and respect and that kind of early morning, unbearable fondness.

Oh, God.

"I love him," Taehyung breathes. "I'm in love."

His whole world is spinning out of control, everything shaking up and settling down in new yet somehow entirely familiar ways. He feels like he doesn't know anything, but he also suddenly can see everything clearly-the butterflies he misread as discomfort, the nervousness he thought was annoyance. How did he not know?

Suddenly, a voice pipes up from the room next to him, startling Taehyung out of his epiphany. He'd just about forgotten they were there.

"Hyung?" Jungkook asks softly. Yoongi grunts faintly.

"Do you think he found out? About… about my feelings for…?"

Feelings for--

Taehyung heard the pause, the word shaped in Jungkook's mouth, the unspoken little you that didn't need to be said out loud but he's sure was coming next.

Oh, fuck. Jungkook's in love with Yoongi. Taehyung had only just realized his feelings and Jungkook is in love with someone else.

Everything is tunneling, the newly settled world in his head shaking apart. The ache in his chest-the one he got rid of for all of a few seconds-is back with a vengeance Taehyung has never known, sharp like his bones have splintered right in his body. He lurches to his feet, the only thoughts in his mind I can't do this I have to leave I can't do this I can't do this I can't--but he's losing it, unsteady, and he slams into the wall as he tries to get his weight under him.

"What-?" Yoongi says sharply. Jungkook no I can't I have to go--

The weight of his movements is all wrong, and instead of steadying, his hit on the wall sends him careening, his hands flying out to catch on the door handle, his weight crashing into the door--

And suddenly Taehyung is standing in the doorway, panting wildly, probably red-faced, staring wide-eyed into the room. Yoongi is half propped up in bed, his back against the pillows, and Jungkook is curled up into his side. Yoongi's arm is wrapped securely around Jungkook's shoulders, holding the maknae close, and Jungkook's head is pillowed on Yoongi's chest, so high up it looks like he just had his face pressed into Yoongi's neck. Jungkook's other arm is curled, his palm pressing into Yoongi's chest. The covers are over them, but Taehyung can tell Jungkook has one leg thrown over Yoongi's, maybe tangling their legs together, and though he can't see fully because of the blankets, he thinks Jungkook might be shirtless. Their faces look soft, sleepy, and the hand Yoongi has curled around Jungkook's arm looks possessive.

Jungkook's in love Jungkook's in love--

He's sure now.

Jungkook is in love with Yoongi.

Taehyung has clearly interrupted them in quite an intimate moment. They probably took the opportunity of everyone else being out to have some romantic time together. And now their faces are falling, Yoongi's into an expression of confused anger, Jungkook's into one of horror.

"Taehyung?" Yoongi barks out. "What the hell?"

"I'm sorry!" he gasps, lurching in the doorway. Yoongi's expression begins to soften into something that looks like worry, but Taehyung waves his hands desperately. "I'm-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to, I didn't know, I-I didn't, I'm sorry," he babbles, backing away, and oh, god, he's crying now, his words wobbling with the force of the sobs working their way out of his throat. Yoongi's face settles properly into fear now and he starts to sit up, dislodging Jungkook from his chest, and Taehyung accidentally lets out a pained, anxious noise; he didn't mean to disrupt their romantic time. "No, no, it's fine, go back, I'm fine, I'm sorry, I didn't-I'll-" And without another word, Taehyung spins on his heel and sprints down the hallway, ignoring Yoongi and Jungkook calling his name, crashing into his bedroom and locking the door before he falls to the floor sobbing.

It takes Tae several minutes to come back to himself, having been stuck in a repeating mantra of I love him but he's with Yoongi I've lost him I've ruined it all Jungkook Jungkook Jungkook for several minutes. When he finally comes to, he realizes there's a strange thumping noise coming from somewhere around him.

"Taehyung! Taehyung, please, open up!" someone begs, their voice wavering, and Taehyung suddenly realizes the noise is Jungkook, banging on the door.

"No, it's fine, I'm sorry--" Taehyung croaks out, his voice rough from crying, but Jungkook cuts him off.

"Tae, stop, no, let me in, please, Tae, open the door!"

"Jungkook, it's fine--"

"No it's not fine!" he shouts. "We need to talk! And you are clearly not okay!"

"But-"

Jungkook whines lowly. "Please, Tae. Yoongi left so we could talk. Please." He pauses. "Please don't hate me," he whispers.

Hate him?

That more than anything shocks Taehyung into movement. He stands unsteadily and unlocks the door, opening it slowly to reveal Jungkook, looking pale and with red-rimmed eyes. He's wearing loose basketball shorts and a tank top; the bags under his eyes are almost as bad as Taehyungs-how did he not notice?. They stare at each other for several moments.

"I could never hate you, Kookie," Taehyung finally murmurs, and with a broken sob Jungkook starts crying, throwing himself into Taehyung's arms. Taehyung stumbles under the weight but holds him, staggering back to his bed and letting the two of them fall as Jungkook continues to try into the crook of Taehyung's neck. Even though they're both clearly emotional, Tae can't help but revel in finally touching Jungkook again-and if the way the younger man is clutching at Tae is an indication, Jungkook's feeling it, too. Tae tucks Jungkook more securely to him, letting the younger man curl up against his side, and Taehyung can't help but let his own tears slide silently down his face as the man he loves cries into his side. Taehyung strokes his hands over Jungkook's hair as the maknae begins to quiet, putting as much of his newfound love into every touch that he can.

Eventually, Jungkook sits up, wiping at the last of his tears as he looks at Taehyung with an unreadable expression on his face. Taehyung sits up with him, leaning back against the headboard as Jungkook leans back against the wall.

"I'm sorry for crying all over your shirt," Jungkook eventually whispers. Taehyung tries for a laugh, but it comes out as more of a wheeze.

"It's okay. I don't mind."

They fall silent again, both looking away from each other as they try to figure out where to start.

"Tae--"

"I'm so sorry."

Jungkook cuts off, blinking in surprise at Taehyung. "Sorry?" Tae's not sure if Jungkook is repeating after him or expressing confusion, but he'll take the opening either way.

Taehyung looks up into Jungkook's eyes, feeling new tears begin to fall. "I'm so sorry for pushing you away this last month. It was so, so stupid, and I never meant to hurt you. I was just trying to-trying to fix a problem we never even had, I guess. I don't know." Taehyung laughs mirthlessly and runs and hand through his hair, looking away from Jungkook's confused expression and red eyes. "I don't even really know what I was doing, to be honest," he admits softly. "I just… was so stupid." Taehyung sighs, looking back up to Jungkook. "You didn't deserve that. I'm so, so sorry, Kookie."

Jungkook frowns, looking away from Taehyung's earnest gaze, but he doesn't look mad-he looks more like he's trying to solve a complicated puzzle in his head, but he can't figure out what pieces he's missing.

"You were pushing me away," he finally murmurs. Taehyung nods, sheepish, even though Jungkook isn't looking at him.

"Yeah, I was," he sighs. "It was so stupid."

"Why…" Jungkook starts, looking back up at Taehyung. "Why did you do it, then? What problem did you think we had?"

"I…" Tae swallows, looking down, twisting his hands together in his lap. He has no idea how to start; no idea how to begin to explain what had gone through his mind without sounding crazy, knowing he needs to explain his feelings but scared to in light of his discovery about Jungkook and Yoongi. Suddenly, Jungkook's hand is on Tae's, stilling their anxious movements. Taehyung looks up at Jungkook, the maknae watching him with a gentle but confused expression, granting him patience he doesn't deserve.

"Tae, please. It's okay. Just please explain."

Taehyung sighs, and Jungkook pulls his hand back.

"I don't know exactly when it happened, but sometime about a month ago I started to realize how everyone just… always expected us to be together," Taehyung starts. Jungkook tilts his head, clearly confused.

"Expected us to be together?" he repeats. "Why was that bad?"

Taehyung chuckles bleakly. "Well, that's the crux of it, isn't it?" Jungkook frowns.

"Tae, I'm not following."

"Sorry," he sighs, running his hand through his hair again. "I'm not exactly sure how to explain this."

Jungkook smiles gently. "Just do your best."

Taehyung huffs, but smiles faintly in return. "I guess…" he begins slowly, biting his lip, "I guess I was just… frustrated at how we were always lumped together. I didn't like it-you know I don't like feeling pushed into something-but I also started to wonder if you were bothered by it, too? So, I tried to keep some distance. But the longer I did, the more uncomfortable I felt…about our closeness…

"I made you uncomfortable?" Jungkook asks uncertainly, looking stricken.

"No, no!" Taehyung rushes to assure him. "Not at all, Kookie. It wasn't about that." Jungkook's expression smooths again, and Taehyung continues. "At first, I thought it was because… because, well, the shippers and all their expectations and analysis make it hard sometimes, to just be ourselves out there, and I thought maybe I was internalizing a lot of that and letting it influence me." Jungkook nods, like he gets the feeling. "Then I started thinking it was because I was realizing that if we're too close, it might look bad, and I had let us become complacent. I thought, that since I was the hyung, I was supposed to make sure we had the right boundaries for the public, and it was my fault we were so touchy."

"Hyung--" Jungkook starts, frowning, but Taehyung holds up a hand to stop him.

"I know--it sounds so stupid," Tae sighs. Jungkook's mouth twists wryly.

"Not stupid," he hedges. "Just… odd."

Taehyung nods. "That's fair. It was odd. And it didn't make sense to me, even as I decided I needed to put even more space between us to fix the issue. And it didn't make sense why, if that was the problem, every time I pulled a little farther away it didn't help, but rather made us both feel worse." Taehyung sighs again, looking away for a tense moment before looking back to Jungkook's faintly bemused expression.

"Everything just started going wrong. You seemed upset, the hyungs were worried about me, I wasn't sleeping well, and somehow, I didn't feel any better. In fact, I just felt worse, every single day that passed and I held you at arm's length."

Jungkook frowns, deeper than before. "Well then why--"

"Hold on," Taehyung interrupts gently. "I'm getting there." He waits for Jungkook to scowl faintly, closing his mouth and crossing his arms, before continuing.

"Somehow, I was pushing myself away from the hyungs, too. One of the things I was realizing is that the longer this went on, the more jealous I became of your affection with them. At first, I thought it was because I missed it myself. Then when Jin hugged you at the Run filming a few weeks ago, I couldn't stop thinking about how easy our contact had been. But I ignored it." Taehyung pauses, collecting himself, and Jungkook sits silently, waiting.

"Then I walked in on you and Hobi," Tae finally continues softly, "and it was… so different. You looked so cozy there, so happy, and all I could think about was how maybe you had never felt that comfortable with me," Taehyung pauses, and when he finally looks back up at Jungkook's face, the maknae's expression is oddly sad.

"I thought I deserved it--the distance," Tae whispers. "I threw myself into work, trying so hard to figure out what to do next to fix all of this. I was going to spend time today resting and thinking through it so I could come up with something."

"Instead, I heard you and Yoongi."

Jungkook grimaces, his face falling as he looks away. "You heard us."

"Yes," Taehyung admits. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have listened."

"How much did you hear?" Jungkook asks hesitantly. Tae hesistates for a moment, before deciding that he has to be honest here.

"The first thing I heard was you talking about how you didn't know what to do about… about me," Taehyung explains. "Don't worry--I didn't hear any of the… uh… stuff before that." At that, Jungkook frowns in confusion.

"Stuff?"

"Don't worry about it; we don't have to talk about that right now," Taehyung hurriedly responds. "What matters more is that, during that pause in your conversation, I started thinking." Taehyung pauses. "About what was really going on with me this past month."

After Tae doesn't say anything for several moments, Jungkook finally prompts him by asking "And?"

Tae takes a deep breath. "And, I realized that I was never uncomfortable with our affection or… intimacy. I was uncomfortable with what it meant for me."

"And what did it mean?" Jungkook asks, confusion rich in his tone.

"It meant," Taehyung whispers, "that you were the person who I was most comfortable with. It meant that I wanted to touch you, to have you sleep in my bed and hold my hand when we walked and wrap an arm around me when I'm cold." Jungkook's face is starting to go blank, but Taehyung blazes on. "It meant," he breathes, "that I… that I was hiding something from myself. For a long time. And I didn't realize until a few minutes ago."

"What did you realize, Tae?" Jungkook asks softly, his face oddly intense.

Taehyung takes a deep breath. There's no coming back from this.

"I realized that I'm in love with you, Jungkook," Taehyung admits quietly. Jungkook immediately begins to tear up, raising a hand like he wants to touch Taehyung, but he knows he can't handle the pitying contact right now, can't handle Jungkook's horrified face, so he looks away.

"But then," he continues, and he hears Jungkook's sharp inhalation of breath, like he knows what's coming next, but Taehyung can't bring himself to look up, "I heard you say something to Yoongi. About being in love."

"Tae--" Jungkook starts, his voice wavering with some note of intensity, but Taehyung speaks over him.

"It's okay, Jungkook," he says sadly, finally looking back up. He watches a Jungkook's face goes from--was that happiness?--to confusion.

"It's… okay?" he asks, with a weird emphasis.

"Yeah, it is," Taehyung responds gently. "I'm not telling you I'm in love with you to try and get anything out of you or guilt you or anything. I know you're in love with Yoongi-hyung, and I respect that. I just needed you to know… how I feel."

"Yoongi-hyung…" Jungkook repeats slowly, almost as if he can't believe what he's saying.

"I'm sorry; I know the timing is terrible," Taehyung says earnestly. "I'm guessing you've been trying to figure out how to tell us-or tell me; maybe you guys told the rest of the group before I found out. I wouldn't blame you if you had-I've been an ass for the past month."

"Tell the group…" Jungkook mutters under his breath, looking at Taehyung with blank eyes, his expression odd, but Taehyung pushes past it, figuring Jungkook is sorting through a lot of plans and worries and thought right now, and Taehyung just wants to get this all out before Jungkook sorts it enough to share. Taehyung can only hope to make it somewhat right before that happens.

"Jungkook," he starts, taking Jungkook's hand where it's laying limply in the other boy's lap, causing the maknae to look up and refocus on Taehyung with a confused expression on his face. "I'm so sorry for how I've been acting the last month. I was so busy denying my feelings and sorting through my own issues that I ended up treating you like shit. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this, and I'm sorry I was such a shitty friend as to not be around when all of this was happening with you and Yoongi. But I want you to know," he continues, Jungkook's eyes flicking between his hand in Taehyung's and Tae's face, "that I am so happy for you. I only ever want you to be happy, and if Yoongi-hyung makes you happy, then I'm happy. I know it'll probably be weird for a while, but I'll give you and hyung as much space or time as you need. I'm sorry. And you are one of the most important people in my life, and one of my best friends, if you'll still have me in your life. Nothing can change that." Taehyung gives Jungkook a watery smile, squeezing his hand once before letting go.

They sit there in silence for several moments as Jungkook looks down at his hand, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly. Taehyung wants to give Jungkook the space he needs to process, but after a few minutes, he's starting to get concerned.

"Kookie?" he says softly, but the younger startles anyway. "Are you okay?"

Jungkook raises a hand to his mouth, his brow furrowing. After a moment, he looks up at Taehyung, and his expression is unreadable.

"You… truly surprise me sometimes, Kim Taehyung," he finally bursts out, some of the tension sliding off his face, replaced by amusement. Taehyung gapes at him.

"What?" he asks incredulously. "Did you think I wouldn't be supportive?"

Jungkook completely ignores him, running a hand through his hair and chuckling to himself. "You said you listened to our conversation," Jungkook continues, sliding closer to Taehyung on the bed, and truly, Taehyung has never been more confused as to what is happening in his life.

"I did hear you?" he responds, but the end somehow tilts up like a question. Jungkook smiles, shaking his head.

"Evidently you weren't listening all that well," he teases, looking at Taehyung fondly, "because if you had been, you would have heard what I said."

"I--" Tae starts, confused. "I did hear. You asked Yoongi if I'd found out about 'who you had feelings for.' I heard the unspoken 'you' after that."

Jungkook laughs again, louder this time, and rolls his eyes, sliding even closer to Tae. "So you heard me, but I guess you weren't thinking all that clearly, huh Taetae?" Jungkook mocks gently.

"Hey!" Taehyung protests weakly.

"Because if you'd been thinking more clearly," Jungkook continues slyly--when did he get so close?--"you would have considered that if it were Yoongi-hyung I was in love with, I probably wouldn't have phrased my question that way--I would have asked him if you'd found out about 'us.'"

"I--" Taehyung begins, and then closes his mouth with a snap. That… actually makes a lot of sense. It would be really weird for Jungkook to refer to their relationship like that, when he was speaking directly to--

"Wait," Taehyung breathes. Jungkook smiles gently. "Did you say 'if' Yoongi-hyung were the one you were in love with?"

Jungkook nods, his expression smoothing into one of gentle happiness. "I'm not in love with Yoongi-hyung, Tae," he confirms gently, grabbing Taehyung's hand.

"But if you're not in love with Yoongi-hyung," Tae whispers, "who are you in love with?" He knows he shouldn't jump to conclusions, shouldn't get his hopes up, but he can't help but look at Jungkook with wide eyes, studying the gentleness on the other's face.

"Tae," Jungkook sighs, smiling fondly and shaking his head. "My Tae."

Taehyung feels his heart stop in his chest.

"Kim Taehyung," Jungkook murmurs, letting go of Taehyung's hand to cup his face between his palms. "I am so stupidly, completely in love with you, it's not even funny."

Taehyung might have stopped breathing.

"There was never anything with Yoongi-hyung," Jungkook continues. "There was never anything with anyone else. There was only you." Jungkook swallows, his face falling into something more serious and reverent than his earlier teasing expression. "Always you."

They sit there, studying each other, for moments that feel like lifetimes.

"Me?" Taehyung finally whispers brokenly. Jungkook nods.

"Yes." His thumb rubs absentmindedly over the curve of Taehyung's cheekbone, almost like he isn't even aware of it. "I love you, Taehyung."

And-

Taehyung can't help it. Suddenly he's feeling years of repressed love and fondness and attraction, and everything he never realized he wanted is sitting right in front of him saying he wants Tae back, and Tae can't help it.

With a broken sob, Tae sways forward, wrapping his arms around Jungkook's neck as he presses his lips to Jungkook's.

It tastes a little like salt, because both of them are crying, but all Taehyung can focus on is the softness, the feeling of Jungkook's top lip between both of his, the little puff of air Taehyung can feel against his face when Jungkook exhales shakily at Taehyung's fingers threading through his hair. They pull back for a moment, searching each other's eyes, and then they're falling back together, Taehyung tilting their head to better slot their lips together.

The most beautiful thing, though, may be the way Taehyung touches Jungkook-softly, easily, with no thought behind it. He trails his hand over the nape of Jungkook's neck, brushes his thumbs across his cheekbones, wraps a hand around Jungkook's waist and braces the other on his knee. He feels Jungkook's hands on him, too-fingers threading through his hair, hands on his spine, the soft press of his stomach against Taehyung's body-and there is only soft, perfect satisfaction left behind, the only swoop in his stomach his need for more. Taehyung knows that this probably isn't the time to indulge in that need-not yet-but right now, he's okay with that. They have all the time they want.

Taehyung slows the press of their lips, pulls his hands from Jungkook's warmth with a steel will-but this will be the last time, he promises himself, that he has to force himself away.

Jungkook opens his eyes slowly, languidly, heat visible in his gaze alongside the aching tenderness Taehyung had been missing these last weeks. He can see the faint question in Jungkook's eyes, so Taehyung asks it back and answers it in the same breath.

"You love me?" he whispers. Jungkook smiles, all soft like sweet cream, and taps Taehyung's nose with his finger.

"I love you," he promises, eyes crinkling with his smile.

"Good," Taehyung breathes, his hands coming back up to hold Jungkook's face. "Because I love you, too." And as they fall back into each other, to kiss and pause and kiss again, Taehyung realizes that now, Jungkook's touch just feels like home.