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"Well, this is kinky..."
"Shut up!"
She couldn't see the other girl's face but she clearly imagined the pink blush dusting her round cheeks and grinned.
"If you want me to shut up, better use a gag for that, love..."
"Seulgi please!"
"Joy please," she whined mischievously and reached out, blindly searching for her girlfriend. "Can you blame me? I'm the one being blindfolded here, I can't help being reminded of our fun times—"
"If you don't stop that right now, I'm gonna rethink this whole thing!" The other girl warned, finality in her tone.
Seulgi obeyed, smirking as she sensed the other girl plop down in front of her. She couldn't see on account of the eye mask blocking her vision but she could smell Joy's sweet fragrance that had her sniffing unconsciously as though she had a cold.
"Okay, that's done. Now what else?," Joy muttered. "Light ring on, check. Ambient music, check. Camera working fine, check. Laptop, check. Hmmm...candy bowl here and...hey!"
Seulgi yelped when her sneaking fingers were abruptly knocked away as they inched hopefully towards the bowl of sweets Joy had prepared for the video. "Sorry!"
"You better be!"
Without seeing her glare, Seulgi couldn't take her girlfriend seriously and she burst into giggles to the tune of Joy's drawn-out groan.
"Can you be serious for five more minutes?" Joy said exasperatedly. "I need to make sure I have everything set."
"But I am everything," Seulgi quipped. "At least that's what you said to me at the airport, remember?"
She grinned when Joy didn't answer but fell quiet to let her girlfriend get on with preparing to shoot the video of the day. Meticulous to a fault, Joy could get really antsy in preparation to deliver her all for the shooting and Seulgi could appreciate that. She decided to lay off for now-she didn't want to add to Joy's anxieties.
"Hey," she said at length, feeling her conscience nudge her, "I'm sorry if I took it too far. I was...trying to lighten up the atmosphere. You get so stressed out, babe."
She was pleasantly surprised to receive a quick peck on the forehead.
"I know, you goof. Thank you for doing this for me by the way, I know you're busy," Joy whispered close to her ear.
"Eh, who cares. Econ can wait," Seulgi chuckled uneasily, thinking of the pile of papers awaiting for her attention. But she didn't hesitate to chuck aside those tedious assignments in return some quality time with her girlfriend.
Joy had taken to youtubing like a fish takes water and excitedly roped in her girlfriend Seulgi on her quest to master the art of curating and growing her burgeoning Youtube channel JollyJoys.
She researched for hours on end and talked Seulgi's ears off about topics varying from cameras and light equipment and marketing brands and deals and sponsors and tags and youtuber challenges and video editing software to slime and mukbangs and ASMR and DIY and gaming and Minecraft.
There really was no guessing the next thing that Joy would want to try out. Seulgi gamely went along with her enthusiastic girlfriend, pleased that Joy was slowly moving on after the terrible event that had nearly broke her.
Seulgi never wanted to go back to such an awful time, when it seemed like Joy's inner light had been extinguished for good. She had been so helpless, so afraid of losing the girl whose gorgeous smile was broken like her spirit.
Youtube had been the best thing to happen to the both of them; it kept Joy occupied and fired up her creativity and hands-on approach to things. It unburdened the worry and doubt from Seulgi's shoulders when Joy started to recover and smile again.
Seulgi didn't know why she never thought of it before, but running a Youtube channel was perfect for Joy. She had the looks, the charisma, the right balance of couldn't-care-less without coming off as arrogant, the organisation, the imagination and the quick adaptability skills suitable for the job.
She blossomed like a flower after a storm when she took it up on a whim. Now, well over a year later, there was no going back and her channel was garnering new subs and views each week. She had even gotten the Youtube Gold button and two weeks ago hit 5 million subscribers. Seulgi had treated her to a surprise party with all the Youtuber community friends they had met at one convention in Melbourne.
"Gi, I'm about to start rolling okay?" Joy called. Soft ambient music in the background had started playing without Seulgi having noticed.
Seulgi smiled dopily when Joy sat down next to her again. "Ready when you are ma'am."
"Please try to keep yourself in check okay? And keep it clean, remember I'm trying to keep this show family friendly."
"Can't promise anything sweetheart," Seulgi said cheekily. She really loved teasing. Shame she couldn't see her girlfriend's cute pout right now.
Joy swatted her arm. "Try again."
"I'll keep it PG-13, love. We'll be snogging after all."
Another light smack.
"Did I say snogging? I meant passionately devouring each other's face and then slowly undressing each other and making sweet sweet love to each other—"
Smack.
"....would you prefer it if I gave it to you rough then?"
"Seulgi." The warning tone made Seulgi put up her hands in surrender.
"Fine, fine, I'll keep it kid-friendly. Just innocent little kiddie kisses." Seulgi relented then paused. "Can I at least comment 'sexy' every once in while, like it does in Candy Crush?"
"No and Candy Crush doesn't do that—"
"Uh, yes it does! It totally—"
Joy shut her up with a gentle peck, making Seulgi momentarily blank and forget what she was going to say.
"I totally forgot what I was gonna say," she reported.
"Good, that was the intention. Let's start."
Seulgi sensed her lean across the desk in front of them and then she heard a small click.
"What's up my Jollies? You know who it is—the one and only Joy! ft. my guinea pig girlfriend..."
"Hi!" Seulgi called brightly, waving wildly.
She heard a giggle. "The camera's here, Gi."
"Huh? Where? I can't see!" Seulgi reminded after a pregnant pause followed.
"Oh, that's right!" Her girlfriend laughed harder, making Seulgi's mouth quirk up.
Joy took Seulgi's hand and positioned it for the camera. "There. Now that introductions are out of the way, let's get on with the show. Today it's the Guess the Candy Challenge, courtesy of our friends over at RosesandLilies, be sure to check'em out guys!"
The objective of today's video was to, as the title indicated, guess the candy by its taste. Joy had squealed and melted after seeing the game being done by their friends Chaeyoung and Lisa on their channel and was even more thrilled when she got tagged (along with fellow youtubers RiRigamez , WendyCoversThat and JJProductions).
"Gi we'll have to make sure we beat their score!" Joy had said determinedly when she showed Seulgi the video days prior. "Chaelisa got eleven right, we need to get all twenty right!"
"Sweet," Seulgi said as she watched the blonde duo smooch and lick and taste each other's tongues on screen, "so I get to kiss you on camera while slobbering over candy. Didn't know you were into exhibitionism babe, but I can work with that."
"It's not exhibitionism you pervert!"
"...voyeurism then? But isn't that the term for the viewers?"
Joy threw her hands up in exasperation. "Neither! This is just a game with that little twist to it suited for couples! It's innocent!"
"Mhm, innocent. I can see that," Seulgi said as the couple on screen got rather caught up in their tasting session, their mouths coming apart with the sound of a plunger being pulled from the sink. "That must be why they guessed all the candies, because they totally didn't get distracted. Hmm...innocent."
Joy rolled her eyes. "It is. They are just...enthusiastic."
"Very enthusiastic," Seulgi pointed out with a shudder, "they're practically making out right in front of my salad." She raised her bowl of lettuce for emphasis. "And disturbingly enough, I'm into it."
"Look, I just thought it would be a chill way to spend next Saturday afternoon. If you're not up for it, it's okay and I'l find-"
"No no no, of course I'll do it!" Seulgi said quickly and Joy beamed.
Which brought them to this moment of Seulgi patiently waiting while Joy licked and sucked on the sweet to get as much of the taste as she could before she leaned closer to Seulgi, her lips brushing gently against her own, giving Seulgi the cue to open her mouth and grant her girlfriend access. Then Joy would sit back and wait for Seulgi to guess the candy's name, reminding her intermittently of the timer.
They had funny moments and and they had sweet moments (literally and figuratively). Whilst the camera was rolling Seulgi obeyed her girlfriend and refrained from inserting innuendos and greasy talk.
Truth be told, she was rather camera-shy. The change was so drastic that Joy's subscribers even thought she was the quieter, angelic half of the duo when compared to Joy's more exuberant chattering self. Joy had pointed time and again that Seulgi could be naughty but nobody really believed her, much to Seulgi's amusement.
"So, what's the score so far?"
"We definitely have to get this one, but it will be a tie with Chaelisa." Joy, ever competitive, sounded rather dejected while Seulgi sympathised but wasn't overly concerned-she was just enjoying getting kisses.
"Chaeyoung-ah, I promise I'll beat you in the next one but my dumb-dumb girlfriend over here gets too distracted when I kiss her." Joy paused. "Does kissing make you lose braincells?"
Seulgi merely smiled. It had been a pleasant, relaxing Saturday afternoon spent sneaking kisses from her girlfriend, sometimes pretending to not know the answer to receive more 'chances' to guess.
Now they were down to their last candy, and Seulgi was determined to savour the very last of the kisses while also providing the right answer. A pouting Joy was cute but Seulgi felt she owed it to her girlfriend to at least have a draw with Chaeyoung and Lisa.
"It's something red-flavoured I think," Seulgi said, trusting her sense of smell to guess. "I think I already know what it is."
"You can smell it already?" Joy asked as she selected the last candy.
Seulgi nodded. Her tongue was rather numb from all the sweetness and kissing so she hoped she'd be able to do this one more time before time ran out. She started humming 'Red Flavor' by her favourite group Red Velvet as Joy lapsed into silence while she sucked the candy.
When she felt Joy's breath hitting her face, Seulgi tilted her head to slide their lips together. Joy licked into her mouth briefly and pulled back, leaving Seulgi tingling.
She deliberated carefully. "It's like some bad childhood snack."
She heard Joy's little hum before her girlfriend had come closer again, her sweet breath hitting Seulgi's nose. Her brief kiss only made Seulgi yearn for more and now, she found herself understanding why Lisa seemed so eager to shove her tongue down Chaeyoung's throat.
Being blind elevated all her other senses and she could suddenly experience everything in sharper detail—hearing every intake of breath from Joy, feel Joy's hair graze her skin tantalisingly, taste her lips intimately and smell her conditioner. She could also clearly sense her girlfriend's rising concern as she waited for Seulgi to guess correctly; the need to win permeated from Joy's very pores.
"Soda?" No answer and Seulgi reconsidered. "Ahh!"
"What is it?"
"Jaws bar!" Seulgi said on sudden inspiration.
"No," Joy said, dejected, sucking on the candy again.
"No?" Seulgi repeated. She cocked her head to the side, tasting the ghost of Joy's lips. "Then what is it?"
She tilted her head in anticipation and Joy's lips connected with her own, gliding smoothly in perfect harmony, slow and—
Wait she knew the taste!
Seulgi pulled back, desperately grasping on to the answer as it threatened to fade. She missed the way Joy nearly chased her lips to keep kissing her.
"Cola?" Seulgi said.
"Nope." Joy rubbed the candy against her lips and leaned in again.
Meanwhile the gears in Seulgi's head were turning furiously until the answer clicked into place.
"Watermelon," she said as Joy was a hair's breadth away from kissing her. Seulgi closed the distance between them anyway-she wasn't going to turn down a kiss after all.
"Correct!" Joy cheered. "Chaeyoung-ah, it's a tie!"
She ripped the blindfold off Seulgi's face, making her blink at the sudden invasion of light. She squinted up at Joy, her vision bleary but smiled upon seeing Joy's beaming face.
"And that concludes today's video folks! Don't forget to like and subscribe. Love to see all your comments roasting my girlfriend, lemme see who gets the most creative! See you all in the next one Jollies and remember, spark joy wherever you go! Over and out."
She shut down the camera, turned off the background music then straddled Seulgi, who still blinked non-plussed as arms wrapped round her neck.
"Thank you," Joy said softly.
Seulgi scratched her head, confused. "Uhh...is it some anniversary today? Why are you looking at me so soft?"
Joy laughed at her. "Can't a girl look at her girlfriend any way she wants these days?"
"Sure but I know you. You don't get emotional like this unless there's a reason." Seulgi frowned. "Are you mad at me for not guessing the sweets? Maybe we should practice for a next time—"
Joy cupped her cheek, effectively cutting off Seulgi's trail of thoughts. Bright sparks danced in Joy's pupils when Seulgi looked closely.
"You know me well..." She leaned down to leave a tender peck on Seulgi's forehead.
"'Course I do. You're my best friend...and my girlfriend."
Joy chuckled. "Yeah." The fingers of her free hand intertwined with Seulgi's. "You're right, I am emotional. You see, right now...I feel like I'm at my happiest."
"Joy," Seulgi croaked but Joy put a finger to her lips.
"Here we are, two girls in an apartment in Melbourne, living our best years together. We weathered some pretty tough storms but they made us stronger. And now I get to do something I love, with the one I love as well. I am truly blessed. And you know why? Because it's all thanks to you."
Seulgi could barely breathe as Joy rested their foreheads together. "Today, during the video, I wanted to keep kissing you. You couldn't see me but I couldn't help just look at you. I couldn't get enough. I kept wondering what it would be like if you had given up on me, back when my dad was giving us hell. I kept wondering what it would be like, living without the love of my life by my side, like this. Would I be able to keep moving on? I'm not so sure. Maybe I'd be existing sure, going through the motions but living? No. I'd be just a shell."
Seulgi wasn't the emotional type but the rock lodged in her throat was threatening to shatter and when it did, Seulgi knew she was gonna bawl like a baby. Her hands scrambled to find purchase around Joy's lower back and she hugged the girl on her lap closer. Seulgi buried her face in the crook of Joy's neck.
"Baby, I'll always be here. I promise. Nothing will make me go away. No parent, no death threat, no thug or malicious gossip. Nothing. I can take it all just to see you happy, you hear me?"
Joy smiled tearfully. "I know."
She had seen it all. She had witnessed her girlfriend being beaten and battered to a pulp right in front of her eyes by thugs sent by her father. She had watched and screamed helplessly as one of the brutes held her back while they hit and kicked and punched her girlfriend to limp, lifeless mess in the alley before they fled like cowards, leaving Joy to crawl to Seulgi's side, sobbing.
Mr Park was an important attorney with an unhealthy appetite for power. He would not tolerate his reputation being tainted by his daughter presenting as abnormal and handicapped, or so he viewed homosexuals.
He was ashamed of her and tried to do everything in his power to tear her and Seulgi apart, even going as far as to frame Seulgi for a crime she did not commit and in a particularly low-blow, almost convinced Joy that Seulgi had cheated on her.
Mr Park had been the relentless, ruthless villain of their story, constantly setting obstacles in their path but Seulgi never wavered. She had grown up next door neighbours with Joy and she knew that she loved her best friend.
What they had could not be taken away by any man. Their love for each other was stronger than a monster of unspeakable evil and wickedness such as Joy's father.
Because that's what Mr Park was—a monster without a shred of compassion in his entire being.
His last act of fatherhood was the one that struck the deepest—he blamed Joy's mother's death on Joy, insisting that her mother fell ill because of Joy and the trouble she caused them. It had cast a dark shadow on his daughter because Joy and her mother were close, but were driven apart when Mr Park embarked on his crusade against Seulgi.
Joy had seen Seulgi soldier resolutely throughout the whole nightmare, always there to support her girlfriend, always there to take her away from the high castle where she was imprisoned because Joy was too weak. But Seulgi didn't shame her, didn't judge her for wanting to cling on to the shred of hope that the man that took her to the playground and tucked her to bed and soothed her after nasty falls still was there, buried deep within.
Joy had waited for her girlfriend to stumble and fall and give up when she fell into a deep, dark hole. But Seulgi, she never gave up. She was there, patient and loving, waiting and hoping.
It was something that characterised Seulgi and Joy admired her so much for it: Seulgi always was the more optimistic one between them, the more hopeful, the one that was determined to make a better future for themselves far away from their shared hell. She was the one to reach out to Chaeyoung, Joy's friend, and ask to convince her girlfriend to move to Melbourne. Seulgi had plans to attend the same university program as Lisa, Chaeyoung's girlfriend.
All she needed was Joy to go with her and break free from the cycle of abuse her father trapped them both in.
It's not that Joy didn't want to go but Mr Park's clutch on his daughter was forbidding and terribly so. Her mother's passing was the key to their freedom—afterwards, Joy's shackles weakened and soon after Mr Park's hold on her broke.
They escaped to Melbourne in the dead of night, with Seulgi's heart thudding in her chest as the smallest niggle of doubt threatened to cloud her faith in her beloved. But thankfully Joy came through: trembling and glancing often over her shoulder but with a determined look in her eyes as she clutched Seulgi's hand tightly all through the taxi ride to the airport. She didn't let go all through the plane ride and touchdown, freeing Seulgi's numb fingers only once they spotted Chaeyoung and Lisa waiting to pick them up and Joy ran to hug them.
Joy still remembered the promise Seulgi had given her to hold by when times seemed dark and the light at the end of the tunnel was nowhere to be found.
She remembered they had been cuddling in bed in a cheap motel in Seoul. It was the only safe place they could meet up that did not fall on Mr Park's radar, as of yet. The situation was terribly degrading and humiliating, having to hide their relationship away from prying eyes by holing up in a den of prostitutes.
But Seulgi was worth it.
"I'm going to promise you one thing, Joy," Seulgi had told her, her chest buzzing beneath Joy's ear. Joy lifted her head to look up Seulgi. Her girlfriend still sported the ghost of a black eye but her smile was bright, determined and brave as she stroked Joy's hair back behind her ear. "No matter what happens, I'm going to be the one waiting at the end of the aisle by the altar. I swear, by my name."
Joy's heart was overwhelmed with many emotions all crashing upon her at once: sadness, regret, pain, gratitude, elation, love. She propped herself up to kiss Seulgi properly and the girl beneath her replied in kind, her fingers reaching up to cradle Joy's head for support.
Joy smiled now as the trials and tribulations flooded back with clarity, her gaze soft. "I love you Gi."
It was Seulgi's turn to choke up. "I love you too. So much."
They reached out to kiss at the same time; Joy melted against Seulgi, draping herself over her girlfriend's body as Seulgi threaded her fingers in Joy's hair, pulling her closer with a gentle tug.
At the back of her mind, her upcoming Economics assignments clamoured for their due attention, but Joy's teeth daintily nibbling the skin of her throat quickly shoved away such calls of lucidity as Seulgi willingly succumbed to bliss instead.
It was infinitely preferable to spend quality time with her girlfriend than wrack her brains over dry and crusty statistics on a Saturday afternoon anyway.