Work Text:
this fanfic was inspired by this artwork by itssleepyrabbit on tumblr
“Do you believe in reincarnation?”
Dabi raises an eyebrow at the question as he looks down at Hawks' bed of hair. The two are currently in Hawks' apartment with the blinds closed to avoid anyone seeing the pro hero cuddling with a S-Class villain. Hawks head laid on top of Dabi’s bare chest. Dabi raked his rough hands through Hawks’ hair as he tugs on it slightly.
“Ow!”
“What kind of stupid question is that.” Dabi lets out a snicker and lets go of Hawks' hair. He goes back to playing with it and Dabi can feel Hawks ease. Hawks trailed his fingers over Dabi’s shoulder, his arm, and all the way down to his wrist. He lets out a deep breath as his gaze softens. “I don’t know. Don’t you ever think about it?”
Dabi hums and lolls his head. “No. When I die I’m going to become a ghost and haunt any form of you that I can,” Hawks let out a laugh at his words and smacked his arm.
“When I get reincarnated I’ll guard you.” Hawks declares as he rapidly sits up. Dabi’s eyebrows furrows as he folds his arms across his chest. “You better not plan on fucking dying before I do.”
Hawks grins and rolls his eyes. The sarcastic comment he wanted to use lays on his tongue but it never comes out. His lips press into a thin line and he bites his bottom lip staring down at Dabi. Hawks can feel himself become emotional as much as he hates it. The idea of either of them dying scares Hawks. If Hawks died, Dabi would be left behind, and if Dabi died, Hawks would be left behind.
If he never met Dabi, Hawks wouldn’t ever fear death. He was raised to become the perfect hero, to be ready for absolutely any situation that it calls for. So, he had prepared. He was always alone even if he was fighting alongside others. Then, he met Dabi.
Someone who he was so fucking violently in love with. Dabi was someone who he just couldn’t live without, and he was sure Dabi felt the same (hopefully).
“I’d never leave you,” Hawks speaks in a low-tone, staring at Dabi’s stark blue eyes. The expression Dabi has is impossible to read as he’s still for a few seconds. Dabi’s hand raises and cups the side of Hawks face. Hawks can't help but lean into it. “I’ll always be with you,” Hawks takes hold of Dabi’s hand and holds it tightly.
“Oh, so you can annoy me even after you die?” Dabi replies sarcastically and Hawks can’t help but smile despite the heavy feeling in his heart.
He doesn’t want this to end. He never wants this to fucking end. Ever. The thought scares him so fucking much to the point of where he thinks too much about it he’ll get too emotional and then he’ll cry and then and then -
Then he’s crying. The tears flow soundlessly from his eyes as he barely makes a sound. Hawks’ throat tightens as he tries to take in a deep breath but fails miserably.
“I don’t… I don’t want this to end.” He feels pathetically pitiful talking like this.
Dabi pulls him back down to his chest to calm him down.
“I know, shitty bird.” Dabi rakes his hands through his hands as he listens to Hawks’ desperately attempting to stop his own crying. Dabi’s eyes glance over towards the window where the curtains are shut.
The curtains should be open. They both should be wild and free and on the rooftop having as much freedom as they could dream of. They should have no constant fear of being who they are. Dabi should be able to show up half-dressed to Hawks' apartment door to take him out on a shitty date in some shitty public restaurant.
But they can’t.
And now suddenly, Dabi wants to cry to.
But he suppresses it and they lay together in solitude. This will just have to do.
Hawks is standing on top of a high building while Dabi stands in the wide alleyway, looking up towards his boyfriend. An exasperated expression crosses Dabi’s face as he stares at Hawks. “Why the fuck do you wanna do this!” Dabi shouts at the top of his lungs and sends a prayer that no one is around them to hear. Hawks visibly grins as he leans over the railing, he cups his hands around his mouth and shouts. “Just keep your arms out!”
Dabi rolls his eyes and opens his arms wide open, “The things I fucking do for you.” He whispers under his breath but the comforting ‘home’ feeling he has in his chest doesn’t show annoyance. He squints his eyes as he watches how Hawks jogs to the back of the roof, and then all of a sudden, he’s sprinting. Dabi’s eyes widen in shock and he instinctively takes a step back, but his arms are still wide open nonetheless.
Then, Hawks is diving. Literally fucking diving.
Dabi breaks out in a crazy grin as he wonders what the fuck this… his idiot is doing. Hawks let out a breathy laugh as he collides into Dabi’s left side. On instinct, Dabi’s left arm takes hold of Hawks as they both take a few steps back due to the force of impact. A louder laugh breaks out from Hawks while a large smile comes upon his face. The rush of diving into the love of his life’s arms was thrilling. “I’m surprised you didn’t move out of the way so that I could crash into the wall.” Hawks jokes as he leans into Dabi’s hold.
Dabi grins and turns the both of them in the opposite direction (towards the wall) and shoves Hawks against it. He still has his left arm around Hawks and their faces were an inch apart. Hawks immediately freezes up, not expecting it. “Are you surprised now?” Dabi smirks, inching their faces closer ever so slightly. Hawks bites his lips as his eyes trail from Dabi's lips to his eyes.
They had an interesting night that night.
“Jesus Christ birdy how tight are you going to tie those bandages?”
Hawks clenches his teeth at Dabi’s question. They’re both resting on Hawks bed as he attends aid to his boyfriend. Tension is thick and heavy, the silence deafening. From what Hawks had learned, Dabi had a fight with another villain over something petty, Dabi wouldn’t spare the details on why.
He ended up with a four-inch-long, one inch deep cut on his forearm. Hawks almost passed out when he saw his boyfriend arrive on his balcony, blood literally fucking everywhere.
“Maybe you shouldn’t get into situations like these.” Hawks finally mumbled under his breath, already seeing some blood leak through the bandage. He attempted to stitch the cut as tight as possible while he forced Dabi to drink some orange juice.
Dabi lifts his head and notices that Hawks was staring at his bleeding arm, harshly biting his own lip. He lets out a sharp sigh and grasps Hawks's jaw and lifts his face up so that they’re both eye level. “Is this about me dying?”
Hawks rolls eyes and attempts to release himself from Dabi’s grip but to no avail. His face deadpans as he stares at Dabi’s eyes, “Let me go.” They stay in silence as they just are at each other, both stubbornly not giving up on their positions.
“Maybe you should answer my fucking-.”
“Ok, well, it fucking is!” Hawks screams out, pushing himself off of the bed as he takes in a swift, deep breath. Dabi’s eyes widen as he looks up towards his boyfriend but his position on the bed remains the same. “Maybe I want you to stop being so fucking reckless but then that’s so fucking stupid to say when both of our lives are on the line every day.”
Dabi rolls his eyes as he pushes himself off the bed (despite the pain in his arm) and walks over to Hawks. Taking in a deep breath, Dabi wraps Hawks into the tightest hug he can muster and leans his head against his. “I’m scared sometimes too, you know.”
Dabi lets out a quick breath due to Hawks immediately having an iron grip on Dabi. Jesus Christ, Dabi thought he was going to die from asphyxiation by the hands of his own boyfriend. “This sucks,” Hawks breathed into his shoulder, eyes drifting towards the closed blinds.
He wishes they were open.
Dabi presses a kiss to Hawks's forehead out of comfort.
They end up hugging each other for a solid five minutes, but they seem to both want to savor the moment. Because in reality, they never know how many they have left.
“Will you marry me?”
Dabi spits out his monstrosity of a coffee (which was just pure black, and Hawks seems to have some strong opinions on it) as he whips his head towards Hawks, who was currently laying across on their couch, eyes still glued on the television.
“Are you talking to yourself?” Dabi questions as he lets out a chuckle before taking another sip of coffee, not bothering to clean the slight mess he just made on Hawks's kitchen counter. Hawks looks up from the show and towards Dabi who was standing right by the counter. He immediately looks shocked, “Hey! You better clean that up, asshole.”
Dabi hums and shakes his head before walking over towards Hawks. “Hmm, no thanks.” Dabi shoves Hawks legs off of the couch so that he can sit next to him. Hawks simply puts his legs on Dabi's lap and Dabi doesn’t object.
“Will you marry me.” Hawks repeats the same question but says it more like a statement. Dabi rolls his eyes and keeps his eyes on the television. It’s some show that has repeating laugh tracks, and if your show needs a laugh track, it’s not a good fucking show.
“Ok. We’re married now, bam.”
Hawks seems to smile widely at this and Dabi just gets confused at his expression, but still smiles softly at how fucking weird his boyfriend is.
When Dabi wakes up the next morning, there’s a silver ring waiting for him with a note on the bedside, and Hawks so happens to not be with him.
Dabi makes a promise to himself to keep it on till the day he dies, and he can’t help but fondly smile.
He flexes his hands as he stares at his ring finger. Guess they’re married now.
It’s a snowy day in December, eerily quiet on Tokyo streets.
In Sanno Medical Center, Hawks is being rushed into the Intensive Care Unit. He’s beaten, torn, bloody, and filled with a botulinum toxin. Doctors and nurses were bustling around the unit, the room being loud as can possibly be as people constantly talk over each other, commands being thrown across the room just like that.
But Hawks can’t hear a single thing.
There was a villain a few minutes back who’s quirk was able to release botulinum toxin. It was wreaking absolute havoc in the night near a children's hospital and school, and since Hawks was the closest hero, he was the first on the scene. The villain was quick to take down since it was small, but it was oh so deadly.
Hawks thought he was fine after the battle besides the shortness of breath. Just as the police and clean up crew arrived at the scene, he collapsed without warning.
But the toxic was just too strong and powerful.
There was no point in attempting to save Hawks, the doctors decided. So as the heart monitor flatlined and they all bowed in honor of their #2 hero.
Time of death… 2:14 am.
“Do I believe in reincarnation?”
Dabi converses at the sky as his cigarette twists and turns between his fingers and he lets out a puff of smoke. The stars are gorgeous tonight and it’s dead quiet. His boots dig into the freshly cut and fertilized grass. He crushes the cigarette in his palm and he feels a burning pain that hurts his skin.
But the burning pain is nothing compared to what he’s suffered through the past months. The agony sometimes is too much to bear. He’ll spend wakeful nights feeling as if all of his organs and soul have been charred from the inside and viciously ripped out one by one.
“I don’t know if I believe in reincarnation,” He opens the palm of his hands and the remains of the cigarette fall to the ground. Dabi crushes it further with his boot and he feels the need to scream. He suppresses it.
He never makes eye contact with the gravestone, not even since his death.
“I’ve been really fucking missing you, so it would be nice if you suddenly came back from the dead right about now,” His heart feels heavy as he shoves his hands into his coat pockets. The silver ring he’s had on his hand now for months rubs against the coat material. “I still have your fucking ring on. I wonder if you have your own still. Did they bury you with it? Did they question if you were engaged to some girlfriend?” He smirks, remembering the one time when he was on a phone call with Hawks and fans were asking if he was talking to a girlfriend.
The sound of people walking towards him makes his head snap towards the sound. And look at that, they have fucking flashlights. Of course.
Dabi curses under his breath as he runs out of the graveyard and hops the fence. He starts to regret not saying goodbye before he left the site.
Although, all the goodbyes he’ll say to Hawks now will never seem enough to when he wasn’t able to.
Dabi’s now weaving through multiple streets and alleyways. It’s two in the morning (he pretends that the time doesn’t hit close to home) so no one is able to see the S-Class villain so clearly when he's dressed in all black. He’s attempting to find his way back to the new L.O.V. base they had set up a week ago.
Right as he takes a step into another alleyway-
A hoarse screech echoes through the night.
Dabi's eyebrows immediately furrow as he stares up at the sky out of alarm and utter confusion. He’s looking, he’s looking, and he’s….
He sees it. A bold red hawk arching on the railing of a building. Then it hits Dabi like a high-speed train.
They’re in the same alley-way Hawks decided to pull the diving-into-his-arms stunt. And all of a sudden, Dabi starts crying.
Does he believe in reincarnation?
His left arm stretches outward, he waits.
Another screech echoes as the red hawk hurriedly dives down and collides with the arm, but the hawk makes it and latches onto Dabi’s wrist. Dabi’s jaw clenches as hard as humanly possible as tears flow down his face and his breathing becomes labored.
“I think I do believe in reincarnation, Keigo.”
Months, months later, it’s November.
A black cat is leisurely resting in the leaves as a red hawk is perched on the branch closest to the feline.
Passerby's think it’s strange and photos get posted online.
But now there are no closed curtains. There’s no hiding. There’s no crying over having to hide their love. There’s no agonizing pain of losing your soulmate.
The cat meows and the hawk calls back.
So this is what it’s like to be free.