Chapter Text
Dim orange light that cast a warm glow on the hoary oak walls and only faintly illuminated the rest of the dreary wooden hall made Todd Anderson increasingly drowsy. His legs ached with exhaustion and every muscle in his body was begging for a rest. He had been up since four o'clock this morning and it was nearly ten at night.
As he took his final stride and the final ancient floorboard of the boarding house creaked, Todd pushed the door to his dormitory open. Without much thought, he flopped onto his bed and a groan, muffled by his pillow, rumbled in his throat. Lazily, he pushed his shoes off his feet with his heels and without bothering to take his overcoat and tie off, Todd rolled onto his side and stared blankly at the wall that his roommate, Neil Perry's, bed was pushed up against. Neil was in a boy they called "Meeks"'s room; Todd tagged along for not more than an hour or so but his fatigue got the better of him and he slinked off without saying anything to anybody else; none of them noticed when he pushed through the crowd of six to get out the door; they were too busy debating the logistics of some short story they had all enjoyed.
With a deep inhale, Todd lazily rolled onto his back. He pushed the breath out of his nose and watched his chest deflate. He sucked in another deep breath and became further captivated by the gentle rise and fall of his own chest. Today had been his first day at Welton Academy and upon meeting dozens of new professors and peers, the introverted Todd Anderson bathed in the solitude of his empty dormitory. He allowed his heavy lids to fall and his mind to drift and lull itself to sleep.
"WHAU!"
Todd sat up with a jolt. He was on the brink of slumber when the call from his roommate shot him directly out of his almost zen state. Todd rubbed his bleary eyes with his knuckles and blinked languidly at the lanky boy who kicked the door closed with his foot and tossed his jacket onto the bed. "What a day!" He exclaimed, his hands working hastily at his necktie. As he watched Neil undo his tie, Todd became aware of his attire and subconsciously worked at the knot in his tie. He stifled a yawn and his pupils followed Neil, who occupied himself with unbuttoning his shirt and yanking his trousers off. Todd diverted his gaze to his own dress pants. Briefly and wordlessly he debated getting up to change out of his attire but decided against it in favor of his comfort. Todd turned over onto his side again and observed silently as Neil, who was now completely clothed again, sat down at the desk on his side of the room and began to scribble on a loose sheet of paper. "I'll tell you one thing," he said aloud, "I, for one, am not anticipating this school year!"
Todd still stared at Neil, captivated by his hand moving sporadically on the paper. He opened his mouth to ask what he was writing, but his tongue failed to form the sentence. Neil's head shot up and at the speed of light he darted across the room and rummaged around in his suitcase. Todd cocked a brow and waited for the other boy to find what he was looking for. It didn't take long for Neil to dig out whatever he wanted because just as Todd thought about sitting up to peer over the end of his bed, Neil's head popped up, a massive grin on his face and his dark hair hanging limply over his forehead like a horse's forelock. His smile pushed gentle dimples into his cheeks and his blocky brows raised and revealed Neil's round brown eyes. Todd offered a quizzical look and Neil scuttled to his bedside and slammed a small gold coin onto the sheets. Todd's voice was weak, "What is it?" He said.
"My mother gave it to me- said it's worth some sum of money." Neil beamed. His face lingered just inches from Todd's. The light-haired boy sat up on his bed. He tilted his head and picked up the coin. It was about the size of a nickel, but was gold and had foreign markings in another language, perhaps Latin, on it. He gently handed it back to Neil, who launched himself into his bed and set the coin down on his bedside table.
"Why did you need to take it out right now?" Todd yawned.
"I just wanted to make sure I still had it. I'm writing in my journal," Neil explained.
Silence fell over the room after the brown-haired boy spoke and Todd allowed his eyes to close once more and his body to become heavy and cement itself to the rock-hard mattress.
"Todd," he said as he pulled his blanket over himself, "why are you still in your clothes?"
Todd shrugged and began to pull his clothes off and toss them to the end of the bed. He glanced hastily at Neil, who busied himself with punching and squeezing his pillow, before getting up and pulling a new pair of pajamas from his suitcase. He put them on quickly and returned to bed. Before laying down he turned the lamp on his bedside table off and the already dim room was now even more caliginous. The sharp features of Neil's angular face cast fierce shadows onto himself. His eyes still managed to radiate light, even in the lack of night. Todd's mind wandered; although he was not at all interested in men, Neil was truly the most attractive boy Todd had ever seen; his face was the perfect balance of soft and compassionate and stringent and strict; Todd couldn't tell if he envied or admired the way his nose sloped gently into a sharp point and his lips moved like gentle waves. Sure, he never particularly disliked his sandy brown hair and upturned nose, but then he compared his face to Neil's, Todd's appearance seemed grisly and awkward. "Why'd you leave?" Neil asked, leaning on his elbow.
"Huh?" Todd inquired, his thoughts being breached.
"Meeks' room." Neil glanced briefly in the direction of the door. "You didn't say anything when you left- why?"
"Oh," he said. "I dunno. I didn't think anybody would notice."
"I did," Neil said plainly.
Todd's heart fluttered in his chest upon hearing Neil say that. He stifled a smile and shrugged. He looked at Neil from under his brows before leaning his head on the pillow and averting his look to the dark corner where the slanted ceiling met the walls. He heard the lanky boy shift in his bed, and from the corner of his eye, Todd watched Neil gaze out the large window that was centered between the beds. "The moon is out," he said, "I bet you can see the moonlight if we shut off all the lights." A smirk danced on his lips. Todd giggled and watched while Neil drew back the sheer white curtains and turned off his lamp. He blinked against the dark and his eyes quickly adjusted.
Pale gray light filtered in through the six-paned window and cast beams of white light into the room. The moonbeams turned Todd's hands an almost sickly white when he reached them beyond the side of his bed. Todd's eyes trailed around the dimly lit, monotonous room before finally resting on Neil's face. He sat comfortably in the window frame with his feet leaned against one side of the indented wall and his back against the parallel side. He emitted a fair luster and his gentle gaze remained fixated on Todd. His cheeks burned under his easy gaze and Todd was impossibly grateful for the way the moonlight obscured color. A gentle smile pulled on Neil's lips before he slid down from the window and placed himself next to Todd. "Isn't it gorgeous?" He whispered. Todd nodded and stared down at his hands. His fingers tangled themselves intricately around one another and didn't untangle themselves or allow Todd to look away from their complex knot until Neil returned to his own bed.
"You're very quiet," Neil commented.
"Sorry," Todd scoffed.
"Don't apologize; it's refreshing. Everyone I speak to is always so loud all of the time," The dark-haired boy sighed, sprawling out on his bed. "Tell me about yourself though, Todd,"
Hearing his name spill from Neil's lips sparked something inside of Todd that he couldn't piece together the proper words for. He wiped the stupid smile from his face and said, "What'do you wanna know?"
"You have a brother." Neil sounded near certain about the statement.
Todd nodded, "Jeff,"
"You guys close?" Neil gazed over his shoulder.
"Not really," Todd shrugged.
"I always wished I'd had a brother," Neil said, smiling wistfully, "I figured that if I did my father would lay off me a little bit."
Todd pursed his thin lips in response. His sleepy eyes rested on the lumps that his legs formed under the duvet. "How're your parents, Todd?" The boy across the room said.
"Okay," His head lolled tiredly onto his shoulder, "they expect a lot from me because of my brother."
"You seem bright though," Neil replied.
"Not compared to Jeff,"
"Oh, don't say that!" The brown-haired boy sprung up from his bed and strode into the streaks of pale moonlight in the center of the room. His figure was merely a silhouette but that didn't make him any less intimidating to Todd. "You can't compare yourself to him."
Todd shrugged absentmindedly and laid down on his side. He fought against the magnetic force of his eyelids to keep his eyes open. He phased in and out of consciousness and part of him regretted staying up to talk to his roommate; Neil would always be around to talk anyways. Todd allowed his eyes to close and he laid stagnant in his bed. The muted creak of tired wooden floorboards disturbed the thick silence that hung over Todd like a fog. Neil's bed groaned under his weight as he laid back down and once the eternity of squeaking had finally ended, Neil whispered, "Are you happy?"
"Hmm?" Todd hummed lazily, not fully processing the question he was being asked.
"Are you happy?" Neil repeated, "Like, are you content with yourself?"
"I suppose,"
"I think you should be happy, Todd," Neil said softly.
A cold flutter rattled Todd's heart and his stomach somersaulted. He smiled and hid his face in his arms. "Thank you, Neil," he whispered, "you too."
"I'm working on it."
"Where'd that question come from, anyways?" Todd chuckled.
"Dunno," Neil said, "I was just wondering. You've seemed so somber all day."
"I'm jus' tired," the sandy-haired boy muttered.
"Sorry. Do you want to sleep now?"
"I'd appreciate it, but if you still have any dire questions that you need answers to, I can stay up just a little while longer,"
"It's alright. Goodnight, Todd,"
"Goodnight,"
A comfortable silence fell over the boys again. Todd sighed once and rolled over so that he was facing the wall. He imagined that Neil was a great deal of fun to spend time with while you were fully awake, but having a private interview with him was not exactly the ideal activity for while Todd was on the cusp of slumber and he was unable to process anything he was saying before it tumbled from his mouth.
"I know I said that I'd let you sleep but can I let you in on a secret? You can't tell anyone," Neil whispered.
"What is it?" Todd mumbled, trying his best to mask the annoyance in his tone.
"I hate this damn school." Todd said, "I can't be myself here; I hate it. I love everyone I've met here, like my friends and all that, but God, this place is a living Hell," Todd cringed upon hearing the bitterness of his tone.
"I'm sorry about that," Todd said.
"I'll be out of here soon," Neil declared. "Sorry for keeping you up. Goodnight, Todd."
"Goodnight, Neil. Sleep well." A wave of relief washed over him as he finally allowed himself to become fully consumed by sleep.