axlitac
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His breaths are beginning to slow down, and the moments between closing and opening his eyes again are becoming longer and longer.
The medic in him knows the importance of staying awake, but truthfully he knows he’s not going to make it out of this, so what’s the point.
What was that thing Buck said to him before? It’s like the universe is screaming at you and you refuse to listen?
Is this the universe’s way of screaming at him? He messed things up so badly with his own son and in his damn impulsive resolve to rush in and fix things with Chris, of fucking course he’s going to mess that up too.
....
Or, a Buddie NDE fic; A tree falls on Eddie's car on his drive to El Paso to get Chris, and Buck takes a (literal) bullet for Eddie when Charlie's mom (4x14) comes back for revenge, feat Coma Eddie and the will that needs to get brought up again. Set post Maddie-kidnapping, around the time of U-haul hug.
Bookmarked by axlitac
24 Mar 2025
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When Buck falls from a parking structure during a high-stakes rescue, Eddie is left to grapple with the sudden, crushing loss of the one person he never fully understood he loved. Stranded in El Paso with only Chris for company, Eddie finds himself unable to reach anyone from the 118—Bobby, Hen, Chim, Maddie—all of them silent, leaving him to face the weight of Buck’s death alone.
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Buck hasn't slept in days.
When he thinks about it, he probably hasn't really slept in weeks. It's fine, though. He's fine.
***
It's been months since Buck and Maddie were kidnapped, so he should be better, right? It doesn't help that Eddie is still in Texas, and seems to be building a life without him.
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Deft fingers undo two more buttons, pulling his shirt into an exaggerated “v” and confirming the worst. Colorful splotches dot his chest, and if Buck’s memory serves, they won’t be contained to just the upper third of his torso.
“Shit,” he whispers, a prickle of shame creeping up the back of his neck.
Eddie turns his back on the scene with a huff, snatching the cookie tub from Chimney’s suddenly-slack grip.
“Oh my god,” Chim gasps. “He’s back.”
“Who’s back?” Eddie asks, glancing between Hen and Chimney.
“Buck 1.0,” Hen says, a smile in her voice.
“Oh come on, it was one hookup.” It’s a lie, he knows, but telling his friends about Stacy surely isn’t going to help his case right now. “I’m not the kind of guy who acts like an ass on calls and steals fire trucks anymore.”
—
Eddie's planning his move to Texas.
Buck... well. Buck regresses. -
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Summary
He feels like shit when he's hungry, and he plays better when he's empty. The cold air doesn't touch him as much. The floodlights turn silvery-soft.
And he likes eating. Keeps his hands busy, mouth busy, mind busy. Something to chew through, putty in the ears.
Go until he can't anymore. Cycle it back out. Be ready.--
OR: Buck's had on-again, off-again bulimia since he was 14.
--
Chapter 40 will go up Thursday 11/27! Title from Psychic Friend's "We Do Not Belong".
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Bookmarked by axlitac
21 Mar 2025