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“Ben, right?” Ben turned his head from where he was sitting with Callum at the bar in the Albert to face the guy that had approached them. The man was tall and thin with short, light hair in a neat buzz cut.
“Err, yeah?” Ben replied, confused.
The guy's smile slowly dropped. “Seriously, you don't remember me?”
Ben shrugged, shifting uncomfortably. “Should I?”
“We spent a really good night together last year,” the man said slowly, looking at Ben expectantly like he was hoping it would jog his memory. “We fucked like 3 times.”
Ben screwed his eyes up in thought and tilted his head. “I feel like your name begins with an S.”
The man's face dropped to a disgusted scowl. “Wow, man. Didn't realise I was that forgettable.”
“If it makes you feel better, I don't know the names of most of the guys I hooked up with back then. I was normally pissed.”
The man shook his head at Ben with disapproval. “It's Marcus, by the way. Enjoy your evening.” He gave a pitying look at Callum and walked off . Ben swung round on his chair to face Callum with an embarrassed grimace.
“That was awkward.”
Callum tilted his head, eyebrows knitted together. “You really didn't know him?”
“Well, we clearly shagged a few times but don't know his name. But hey, at least I'm memorable, as you know.” Ben leant forward, expecting Callum to meet him for a kiss but instead Callum sat back, looking incredibly unimpressed.
“You're really casual about not knowing the name of a guy you slept with,” Callum remarked as he shook his head, doing his best not to think about how many men had warmed Ben's bed before him. He couldn't imagine doing the intimate things he does with Ben with a random stranger he didn't even know the name of.
. . .
Only a few weeks later Callum approached Ben outside the cafe whilst Ben was saying a friendly goodbye to a tall, broad man with heavy stubble. Callum got to him just as the man had walked off.
“Who was that?” Callum asked with a smile, before pecking Ben on the lips.
“Rob,” Ben said simply, not expanding.
“How dya know him?”
Ben rubbed the back of his neck, eyes avoiding Callum's for a moment. “We hooked up a few times.”
“Ah,” Callum said with a nod. Ben gave him a close look, clearly scrutinising his reaction. Callum just took his hand and nodded his head toward the cafe door. “Bacon bap?”
Ben grinned, pressing his body close. “Sexiest thing you've ever said to me.”
. . .
It was several months later when it happened again. They were outside The Vic waiting for Lola to meet them for a drink.
“Ben Mitchell,” a man shouted in a sing-song voice. They both turned and Callum watched as a man at least ten years older than Ben walked over. He was fair with messy, wavy hair and laugh lines creasing his attractive face. He was built like a rugby player – tall and broad – and was dressed in an overly tight t-shirt and jeans.
“Kel, didn't know you were back,” Ben greeted as he was yanked into a bear hug that swamped Ben's small frame. Callum smiled even as he felt a knot of unease tighten in his chest.
The man pulled back and gripped Ben's shoulders, taking him in. “Can't keep away, mate. I was gunna give you a call actually now I'm back, see if you wanted to hang out...” Kel said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively before his eyes slid over Ben's shoulder to take Callum in. He stepped back and gave Callum a long, appreciative once-over. “And who is this gorgeous specimen?”
Ben let out a laugh and stepped back so Callum could shake Kel's hand. “This is Callum, my boyfriend.”
The man gasped dramatically, taking a step back as if slapped. “You've settled down, baby?”
Callum found his jaw clenched slightly on the word 'baby' but he forced his easy-going smile to stay where it was.
“Sure 'av,” Ben said proudly, reaching back blindly to take Callum's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.
“Well now that's just upsetting but I'm pleased you managed to find someone who can handle you in the bedroom,” Kel said loudly with a big laugh.
“Oh Callum handles me just fine,” Ben stated lowly with a smirk.
Callum shifted uneasily for a moment, not sure how to act or what to say when he was the subject of the conversation. He felt his ears go pink.
“Anyway, I must dash, I've got to find another man with a mouth as good as yours and that'll take me a while,” Kel joked, throwing a wink in Callum's direction. “Before I run off though... you two monogamous? Or is a threesome on the table?”
“Not on your life,” Ben said, standing in front of Callum with a smirk.
“Oh, possessive. Well, give me a call if it doesn't work out,” he said to Ben before turning to Callum with a flirty leer. “And you definitely give me a call if it doesn't work out.”
Ben shoved Kel playfully away from his boyfriend and Kel let out another booming laugh before strolling off.
“He seemed nice,” Callum remarked, unsure what else to say.
“Kel's a complete sweetheart,” Ben said, clearly fond of him.
“You two were together?”
“Nah, but we hooked up a fair few times. You know how it is when you get bored and lonely.”
Callum's smile tightened. “Yeah but I generally don't go and sleep with people.”
Ben grabbed the lapels on Callum's coat and pulled him close. “Don't pout, babe. I only want you, you know that.”
Callum smiled and leaned in for a kiss but there was still a ball of anxiety stuck in his stomach.
. . .
Callum loved this. He was lying in their bed in only his boxers as Ben lay over him, their mouths hot and wet against each other, groins brushing with promise. Callum's hands spread across Ben's arse possessively as they continued to make out like horny teenagers, their breathing heavy and loud in their small bedroom.
They were interrupted when Ben's phone chirped from the bedside table, screen lighting up with a message. Callum craned his neck to the side and picked up the phone so they could both see the screen which showed a message from someone called “Oli”. The text simply said: “what you up to? your arse busy? Xx”. Callum knew Ben wasn't cheating and he could see from Ben's eye rolled reaction that it wasn't anything to be concerned over. Callum put the phone back down with a loud clunk.
Ben pressed his mouth to Callum's neck, kissing along the soft skin there as Callum tried desperately to stop his mind going into overdrive.
“Who's Oli?”
“Guy from years ago I slept with. He sometimes hits me up for a booty call. Ignore it,” Ben murmured before going back to kissing Callum's neck as one of his hands slid down Callum's stomach, about to dip it's way under his boxers when Callum stopped him with a hand around his wrist.
“How many guys have you slept with?” Callum asked bluntly.
“We ain't having that conversation,” Ben said firmly, pulling his hand out of Callum's grip and going for his boxers again.
“Ben, stop it. Listen, I just wanna know, OK? We keep bumping into your conquests and I know you slept around a lot and I'd feel better knowing.”
Ben sat back with a loud sigh. “I know what this is about and I promise you I'm clean, babe. I can prove it if you need to see something and we're being safe anyway...”
Callum shook his head. “No, it's not that. I just think we should discuss it. I mean, you know my sexual history. Whitney and then you were my first-”
“And only,” Ben remarked, eyes hard. “I ain't letting other blokes go near ya.”
“Ben, please,” Callum said, folding his legs as Ben sat opposite him looking frustrated. “OK, is it more than 20?”
“Firstly - what we counting as sex? Full anal or hand and mouth stuff too.”
“All of it,” Callum stated decisively.
Ben shut his eyes briefly before opening them. “More.”
Callum just nodded but wasn't surprised. “More of less than 30?”
Ben stared at a small bit of fluff attached to the duvet cover. “More.”
Callum swallowed. “More or less than 50?”
Ben looked skyward. “More.”
Callum was about to continue but stopped instead, feeling uncomfortable. “Wow, OK. I mean I knew you had a lot of experience but I didn't realise it was that much.”
Ben grabbed Callum's face in his heads, forcing Callum to meet his eyes. “None of it matters, alright? You're the only guy I wanna be with. Maybe we'll bump into some guys every now and again who I've had sex with but they're my past and I didn't care about any of them. They were just a distraction for how shitty and miserable I felt.”
Callum nodded, eyes soft and understanding as Ben sat back, letting his hands drop from Callum's face. “I guess I just feel... insecure or something about how I stack up.”
Ben scoffed. “You're better than all of em.”
Callum looked at him dubiously. “You don't need to lie, I know I'm still learning stuff in the bedroom.”
“You're a very fast, eager learner,” Ben said reassuringly, taking Callum's hand and rubbing a thumb over the back of it. “I love ya, babe. I know my past is difficult and I don't expect you to always be cool with it, especially when we come face to face with some of them, but just know that you're it for me. I was killing time with them or trying to make myself feel better when things were out of my control. I'm happy with you though.” Ben leant forward, closing the distance, and pressed a soft, reassuring kiss to Callum's lips.
“Look, I don't want you to think I'm judging ya or anything,” Callum said gently. “I'm just trying to get my head around it is all. I trust you and I know you won't look at another bloke but it's just weird meeting people who have been with you like that. I sometimes wish I was your first too,” Callum admitted, eyes looking at the lamp on the bedside table and not at Ben.
Ben nodded and gave Callum's hand a squeeze. “I know, babe. But you and Paul are the only guys that have mattered, OK? And when it comes to measuring up in the bedroom you ain't got anything to worry about, trust me,” Ben said firmly, eyes dropping to Callum's lap and back up, winking at him.
Callum nodded, feeling the tight knot in his chest loosen slightly as Ben climbed into his lap and cupped his face, kissing him gently.
“Kel seemed nice,” Callum admitted which caused Ben to pull back, eyes hard and narrowed.
“What dya mean by that?” Ben snapped, his voice laced with a worried edge. “Didn't think he'd be your type.”
Callum shook his head with a smile. “I ain't saying I fancy him, calm down, I'm just saying he seemed like a good guy and I don't mind if you ever wanna hang out with him, yeah?”
Ben let out a breath and nodded. “Oh, yeah thanks.”
“And ya right, he ain't my type,” Callum remarked, hands sliding down and taking a handful of Ben's arse. “I'm into short, angry brunettes with daddy issues.”
Ben let out a laugh and Callum smiled back at him fondly. He knew he couldn't erase Ben's past, however much he wished he could, but he accepted that as far as he was concerned, he was Ben's future and that was enough.