Work Text:
currently, hoshino was having a dilemma.
said dilemma was apparently someone who wants to attack daisuke, making daisuke guess that they would try to use haru, his husband, as a way to get to him.
as a way to protect him, daisuke decided to buy a goddamn house in the most rural part of tokyo and use all means to protect him.
'means' include standing down and crawling around the house when it's the day, closing the blinds and keep quiet when it's night, and
a tape square on the floor that can barely contain three people.
("isn't this too extreme?" hoshino asked, watching daisuke uncharacteristically crawl onto the carpeted floor to show them how to move around the house in the day.
"you're right," daisuke deadpanned, turning his body around so that he was now laying down on his side and resting his hand on his thighs, "it's extreme of me to try to prevent my husband from being shot in the face."
"i'm overdoing it," daisuke said, making hoshino sigh and roll his eyes as daisuke gestured haru to come closer, "haru, come in here, take your bullet."
"fine, okay," hoshino said exasperatedly, waving his hands around, "we'll stay on our bellies."
with a half-lidded cat-like smile, he could hear daisuke say, "thank you."
he wants to punch this man so hard. )
"this is one of several designated areas where you can stand upright during the day," daisuke explained, face way too close hoshino's own for comfort while haru himself stands right next to them, "you can move about freely in this square."
"wow," hoshino said, quirking up a eyebrow before outstretching and raising his arms, "we have all this room to work in."
"your hand can be seen from the living room window," daisuke said, all three pairs of eyes staring at hoshino's right hand, "you just killed haru."
"daisuke-"
"i can't hear you, haru," daisuke sternly said, turning his head towards haru and practically spitting out last words from his mouth, "you're dead."
daisuke turned his head back to hoshino, saying, "he bled out in your lap." before making a thoughtful expression to continue his words with, "how will you break the news to me? let's see..."
"we don't have to do this-"
"ah, detective hoshino," daisuke started with a too-friendly smile, tilting his head slightly and still using that infuriating, deadpan tone, "how is it going with haru, the love of my life?"
"wait," daisuke suddenly made a deep, worried frown as deep as a stoic man like him could make, looking up and down at hoshino's suit like there was blood on his suit, "why are you here at this late hour? and who's blood is that?"
"okay, i get it-"
"it's haru's?" daisuke exclaimed in an eerily calm way with eyes wide open and eyebrows going up.
he could hear haru sigh exasperatedly right next to him.
"this is devastating, i'm inconsolable and," a quick snap from daisuke's gloved fingers, "i killed myself."
"cool, well," hoshino said through gritted teeth and eyes that beg for mercy, "this will be a fun couple of months."