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„Ben, honey, are you going to be ready anytime soon?”, Rey’s voiced teased him from the other room and Ben had to suppress a laugh.
“In just a moment, sweetheart.”
He looked around the room one last time, making sure that nothing would give the hiding spot away too soon. This, after all, was important.
So important that every thought of anything going wrong made him shiver.
But no.
Ben took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down again.
This would be fine. Everything was perfect, just the way he had been planning it for over a year now. Hell, maybe even since he had first seen her. She would say yes.
One more time he brushed over the bedsheets with his hands, maybe to make sure they were even, maybe just to have something to ground him, and then he finally stepped out of the room.
“There you are!”, she greeted him and he nearly couldn’t catch her as she jumped up at him, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Is your hiding game getting weaker already?”
Rey was sporting a look consisting of one of his hoodies that she had claimed a long time ago, sweat pants and hair still messy from sleep, but even in this attire that was almost mandatory on lazy easter mornings, she looked absolutely gorgeous.
He grinned at her and held her just a bit tighter after he finally regained his footage. “In your dreams, darling. I’m just making sure you actually have to work for your chocolate this year.”
She slapped him lightly, but her laugh betrayed her.
Ben looked at Rey as she was in his arms then, the golden sunlight of the spring morning grazing her cheeks in the most beautiful colours, and once again, a rush of love came through him. Just like every time he looked at her.
Or every time he heard her voice or felt her touch.
God, he was so gone for this woman.
If you had asked him when exactly he had known that he wanted to spend his entire life by her side, he would have not been able to tell. Probably since the very beginning, and then in every little moment after that.
“I’m still going to beat you though, just like I did last year!”, Rey announced and kissed him happily, this time on his lips.
Ben laughed. “Oh, come on. The one time that you won…”
Rey gasped as if deeply hurt by his words. “Excuse you, mister, that was just because I let you win the two times before.”
Now it was Ben’s turn to act offended. “You did so not let me win. I earned those victories, fair and square.”
Rey looked at him deeply then, love in her eyes, and it gave him hope.
Ever since their first year together, when Ben discovered how much of a sweet tooth Rey had, the Easter egg hunt had been a ritual for them on the holiday. It had started out as a joke, Ben had only wanted to tease Rey one easter morning by hiding her chocolate, but eventually, as both their competitive sides came to show, it just stuck around.
And now they did it every year: They would always hide five egg-shaped boxes filled with different chocolates for the other person in a room of their shared apartment and then stop the time to see who could find the eggs faster. The winner then got to choose the easter movie they would watch in the evening, because believe it or not, there was a wide cliff between something like 'Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!' (Rey) and 'Hop' (Ben).
For Ben, however, the best part of this little ritual was when he got to see Rey’s happy smile as soon as she found all of her chocolate, and he made sure to always get all of her favourite kinds. It had been this way for years now, years during which he undoubtedly had to experience just how far Rey was willing to go for a piece of good chocolate.
However, this year, he planned on doing something a little different.
“Well, we’ll see who the true winner is after this one”, Rey finally said and freed him out of his thoughts with her words.
She pressed her lips against his own – soft, but slow – and Ben took it gratefully before letting her down.
Kissing Rey – there really was nothing better in this world.
Ben cupped her cheek and outlined her lip with his thumb one last time before he ultimately let go of her. One last time... The last time?
It might be the last time if she said no.
He looked at her once again, and suddenly, an incredible amount of dread began to build up in his stomach at the thought of it. Would she think that it was too soon? Too late? Would she even want this? Spend her entire life with him?
Was he ruining everything right now?
“Ben, are you okay?”
Her words ripped him out of his ever so fast-growing thoughts again and he leaned into her touch when she tucked a few of his longer strands of hair behind his ear.
“You seem a bit… anxious”, she ended, her expression worried.
Oh, if you only knew, he thought to himself, but only shook his head. “No, everything’s fine.”
She still didn’t look convinced, and god, he loved her for it, but right now, he had to fake a smile. “Honestly. Everything’s perfect. I think it’s just the prospect of watching ‘Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!’ with you tonight that’s making me a little nervous.”
Technically, that wasn't even a lie. Ben was deadly scared of horror movies of any kind, and Rey knew. It was probably one of the reasons she insisted on watching it every year in case she won.
At this, the spark in her eyes that he loved so much returned. “Oh, you better get used to that thought, honey, because that is definitely how this will go down.”
“You wish”, Ben laughed, still occupied with taking steadying breaths.
“Should we start the timer?”
Ben had known that he wanted to wake up next to Rey for a long time now. Now he only had to see if she felt the same way.
Nothing scary about that.
He shot her another smile, got lost in the golden specks of her eyes for another few seconds.
“Whenever you’re ready, Sweetheart.”
With that, Rey pushed a button on her phone and rushed off into their bedroom almost immediately.
“Alright, but don’t expect me to go easy on you!”
“I wouldn’t dream of it!”, Ben shouted back.
But instead of going into their shared office to search for his own eggs like he usually would, he hovered close to the door this time, careful so that Rey wouldn’t spot him.
He loved watching her. He always had.
Rey had an energy about herself that he couldn’t quite explain. It was a bit like looking into the sun without being blended, if that made any sense. There was certainty in every one of her steps, even though she was rarely ever certain about anything. The smile she loved giving others was always the brightest – she could light up a whole room if she wanted to – even though he knew just how lonely she could feel sometimes.
Everything about her was a paradox.
And Ben could still remember the first time she told him about all of this – about her fear of being left behind, her self-doubt, her anger at people that didn’t care enough to get to know her. Even back then, underneath a moon-lit sky, Ben had thought of only one thing:
That he would stay. He would stay so long until she wasn’t a paradox anymore, reassure and love her until her steps became certain because she was certain and her smile was happy because she was truly happy. And then he would stay long after that, as long as she would let him.
A smile grazed his lips as he thought about the fact that she had done pretty much the same for him. She had been and still was his light.
When Ben had met Rey, he had been in everything else than but an ideal situation. He had still been a teen with too much fury in his veins and too many troubles in his mind. His relationship with his parents had been strained and he had never really trusted someone, not even himself. Until she came along, that was.
Rey’s light had changed things for him. For the first time in his life, he had felt understood and not brushed off. She had taken some of his darkness with her smile and kindness so that he had finally been able to fight the rest on his own.
Ben still didn’t know how he even deserved her, but he was ready to prove it every day for all the years to come.
With her, his heart always beat in a calm, steady rhythm.
Except for when it didn’t.
Like right now for example, as he watched her excitedly take their whole bedroom apart in the search for the eggs, not even trying to maintain some kind of order.
Ben grinned as he watched her. God, he loved her so much.
Even though it really didn’t help to calm his heart down, which by now nearly ran away from him.
Rey had already found three normal eggs so far, one behind a book on the shelf, one inside a plant pot and one behind a framed photo of the two of them.
She chuckled lightly when she found the fourth one hidden inside of the lampshade of their nightstand lamp. Ben tensed as she screwed open the egg and tossed the chocolate on their bed as she had done with the ones before.
She was getting closer now.
His breath caught in his throat in anticipation.
“One more to go, I’m nearly done!”, she shouted without looking up.
“Yeah, you are”, he whispered so quietly that she couldn’t hear him.
Rey was still grinning as she finally concentrated her search efforts onto their bed, first flipping back the large blanket, then ruffling through their cushions, only to find that there was something solid inside of hers, then opening it up with a victorious smirk, grabbing the egg, pulling it out and screwing it open…
Her smile immediately dropped as she saw the ring embedded with a small diamond, and Ben froze.
But there was no going back now.
“Rey…”, he started, searching for words, as he slowly stepped into the room.
She turned to him, a shocked and flustered impression in her eyes which were now solely fixed on him.
“Ben… What does this mean?” Her breath hitched as she spoke, breathing seemingly for her as hard as for him.
He stepped in front of her and laid his own hands over hers before he closed his eyes for a few seconds to gather his thoughts.
Then, he opened his eyes again, took the egg containing the ring out of Rey’s meek hold, and got down on one knee before her.
Time seemed to stand still as she brought one hand up to her mouth in a shocked expression, and Ben had to hold himself back from taking her hand in his again.
As often as he had envisioned this moment and as full as his head was at the moments with all the things that he wanted to say to her, his tongue had never been as heavy as now. But then, as he looked into her brown eyes filled with wonder, he thought about everything they’ve been through, every adventure they’ve experienced, everything that she was to him, and she was everything.
Suddenly, he couldn’t help but smile as he held the ring up to her.
“Rey, you are my sunshine. When you came into my life… you turned my whole world upside down.” Ben laughed as he tried to blink away the tears that were building up in his eyes. “You illuminated it, filled it with love, and nothing has ever felt as good as waking up next to you.”
“Oh my god… Ben”, Rey could only choke out, her expression still an enigma to him, but he wasn’t done yet.
“I love you, Rey. All of you. You are, truly, the love of my life, and of whatever comes afterwards. And I want to make you feel loved in every single moment of it, because I couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful than getting to spend the rest of our lives together.” His voice became a bit shaky as a tear escaped onto his cheek, but his smile got only wider. “Whatever will come next, I just know that I want to be by your side forever, in every legal institution possible.”
Rey chuckled a bit, and his heart became that much lighter as he let go of the final words.
“So now I’m asking you, Rey: Will you marry me?”
For a few seconds then, Ben was afraid. Afraid that she would say no, that she would break his heart gently into a thousand pieces. For a few seconds then, everything was silent, his love’s eyes full of unreadable emotions. For a few seconds then, those seconds became an eternity.
Until it wasn’t anymore.
Ben could barely catch her as she launched herself on top of him, arms tight around his neck.
“Yes, Ben. Of course. Always”, she finally laughed and he let go of her a bit to look at her face.
“Yeah?”
Thousands of universes were shining in her eyes as she looked up at him. A laugh escaped his lips as he realized that they were both crying by now.
“Yeah,” Rey answered him, her smile beaming with happiness.
With this, Ben stroke his thumb across her cheek to wipe away those tears, and kissed her. Long, deep, full of feelings.
She smiled against his mouth as he clumsily tried to slip the ring on her finger, and then she sighed as he kissed her again.
“Ben, I love you so much”, Rey nuzzled into the crook of his neck as she hugged him tightly afterwards. “And I want to spend the rest of my life with you too. I wouldn’t want to grow old with anyone else.”
At this moment, Ben’s heart could have imploded from happiness, and he had reason to believe that his fiancé felt the same way.
And although their story in this universe was far from over now with so many adventures still awaiting them, he knew that they were ready for everything that still lay ahead, because now, they weren’t alone, but together, and would always be.
For the first time in his life, Ben didn’t feel afraid of anything.
“Are you ready to start the rest of our lives together, then?”, he asked Rey whilst caressing her hair. He still hadn't let her go, and she didn’t protest.
“With you by my side? Always.” Then, she chuckled, voice still wet with tears. “I need someone to watch ‘Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill!’ with me tonight. After all, I did just win the best thing in the world”, Rey teased him and he laughed, albeit a bit worried.
Truly, Ben didn’t feel afraid of anything.
Until he did.