Chapter Text
+ carlos has created a group with seb, ricky, nini, EJ, ash, big red, gina & kourt!
big red: nope
carlos: you don’t even know what i want...?
big red: you’re not slick 🤡
gina: we all saw the audition sheet 🙄
EJ: *sheets
EJ: *thousands of sheets
carlos: ugh, fine. you caught me
carlos: my mistake for thinking everyone wanted to audition like last time...
nini: wait
nini: i’m auditioning
gina: me too
gina: gunning for top bitch this year you already knowww
ricky: veronica? i thought neens wanted to audition for her too
ricky: i mean idk, just thought she wanted the lead again
seb: battle of the girlfriends 🤭
gini: not the lead, i’m talking about heather chandler
kourt: yes bitch!
carlos: anyone else trying out for the play?
big red: me
ash: on a serious note, i’m auditioning too
big red: what! i could’ve been serious...
big red: that awkward moment when your girlfriend questions your unlocked potential 😰😳💔
EJ: ricky you do that to me all the time
ricky: what?
EJ: you question my unlocked potential
ricky: babe, what? when???
EJ: remember when we were at my uncle’s BBQ party and he had a whole platter of hotdogs on the table
ricky: oh my god no
EJ: you said i couldn’t finish them
EJ: BUT I DID
ricky: you also threw up afterwards
ash: my dad kept asking me where all the hotdogs went i-
seb: it’s okay EJ i did the same thing once
big red: me too
carlos: ew stop talking about this 🤮
carlos: WHO ELSE IS AUDITIONING?!?!?
gina: oh shit he used all caps
nini: scary carlos...
carlos: ^^^^ ???????????
seb: bubs relax
+ carlos named the chat “heathers: the musical”
EJ: 👀
nini: carlos...your mind...so powerful... we’re all forced to help out with the play now...
ash: and that’s on what?
big red: periodt
kourt: how did this white boy even know that 🤣
big red: i have twitter
seb: what’s twitter
gina: how are you gay and unaware of twitter is
EJ: deadass
gina: having twitter is in the rulebook for gays
EJ: punishable by death if you’re gay and don’t have twitter
ash: EJ i’m-???
seb: ricky, do you know what twitter is?
ricky: elsa jasmine introduced me to it so yeah
big red: i thought EJ showed it to you
nini: who’s elsa jasmine?
EJ: me
big red: wh-
carlos: now i get why you never wanted to tell us your full name in rehearsals
gina: the way you’re all lacking brain cells right now 🙈
nini: how
gina: ricky’s obviously making fun of EJ’s initials
ricky: he doesn’t like when i call him by his real first name so i make up other names instead
big red: CEO of creativity
kourt: so no one’s weirded out about the fact that big red knows all the twitter slang
nini: it’s weird
seb: ricky!
ricky: yeah
seb: did you know what twitter was before you started dating EJ?
ricky: no
seb: why am i the only one being criticized then :(
seb: ricky’s gay too...
ricky: correction
ricky: i’m bi
EJ: exactly
EJ: he gets a pass
nini: he’s allowed to be confused a little bit
seb: what is twitter???
gina: google it sis
+ seb has left the chat.
+ carlos has added seb to the chat.
gina: seb :(((
gina: it’s a social media app
gina: like instagram but without pictures
seb: OH
gina: sorry seb
seb: it’s okay 😊
nini: my gf??? apologizing??? it’s more likely than you think
gina: stOP
nini: aw you big softie
gina: no u ☺️
nini: i wanna h*ld your h*nd right now
gina: i wanna k*ss you 😳
nini: where? 😏
gina: 🥵⬇️
big red: gina and nini, i’m going to need you both to log out for me.
gina: no
nini: 😏
gina: 🥵🥵🥵
nini: oop say no less
big red: PLEASE i want you to seriously start saying less
carlos: my eyes...
kourt: sex is not taboo, gentlemen
big red: IT IS IN THIS GROUPCHAT
EJ: homophobia in 2020, we hate to see it
ricky: and coming from my best friend? i hate it here 😭
EJ: don’t worry baby i’ll fuck the sadness out of you
seb: veronica and JD be like
big red: WOAH
EJ: what’s wrong, you hate the gays having sex? 😖
big red: i-
kourt: ash come collect your mans
ash: i don’t support homophobia 🤔
big red: we-
big red: straight, gay, somewhere in the middle or nowhere at all...no sex talk!
gina: sex
nini: sex noises intensify
EJ: what time should i schedule the orgy?
carlos: anytime after auditions this friday
EJ: my place?
nini: works for me 🤩
EJ: ricky, you okay if i schedule a dick appointment with you earlier in the day during lunch?
ricky: you don’t even have to schedule it, it’s a given 🙂
kourt: hold up
big red: you ARE messing with me, right?
big red: SCHOOL HOURS?
ricky: my lips are sealed
nini: god that is such a bottom thing to say
big red: ok enough we’re DONE
ash: we’re not done until i say we’re done 😈
big red: someone call my mom i’m scared
EJ: you need a ride home?
big red: yes please
EJ: sorry my cat ate my car
ash: ricky...
ash: did you get my cousin high again?
ricky: ...no?
ricky: bye we’ll see you guys later
ash: i’m-
kourt: how does ricky have so much weed ALL THE DAMN TIME and not get caught
big red: his dad
kourt: his dad gives him weed?
big red: no i mean his dad isn’t ever home anymore so it’s not like he can ever tell ricky anything
big red: so ricky just buys a LOT and lets it sit in his room until he smokes EJ out
nini: i wish my girlfriend would smoke me out
gina: but you like it more when i do other things 😈
big red: this is a christian minecraft server...
gina: she likes when i take her thrift shopping, get your mind out of the gutter
big red: 😕
ash: you walked right into that
carlos: ok but doesn’t EJ play water polo?
seb: drug tests 👀
nini: he’s not doing water polo until the summer when school ends
seb: why?
nini: he wants to do theatre right now in high school because he’s probably not going to do it next year in college
gina: you know so much about him, it’s almost like you dated
nini: but i love you more 😘
kourt: so EJ’s getting smoked out, getting some bomb ass relaxation time with ricky AND he has good grades?
kourt: wishing that was me 💔
kourt: we’ll all talk later when i get smoked out, byeee
seb: i’m gonna go milk my cow
carlos: i’m gonna help him milk his cow
ash: is it just me or...
big red: ...that sounded oddly sexual?
nini: knowing them, they probably actually are milking seb’s cow
gina: seb’s too innocent to come up with an innuendo like that
gina: plus, ricky and EJ are the horny ones that say dirty shit 24/7
ash: you guys have no idea how hard it is being EJ’s cousin sometimes
ash: now he has you guys but i’m still like his best friend
nini: i already know what you’re going to say 😭
ash: ricky could breathe and EJ would be like
ash: “he breathes the same way when he’s choking on my d-😳”
big red: and on that note, i’m gonna go talk to ricky and EJ
gina: now that he’s gone ^
gina: CONTINUE
nini: yes please i can’t wait to laugh at EJ about this when he comes back
ash: omg so last year
gina: yeah???
ash: i was at the mall with them and EJ was ordering our food at the food court
nini: classic EJ
ash: and one of my old friends from middle school came up
ash: obviously i was talking to him for a while
ash: but EJ only turned around when this guy started talking to ricky and had his arm around him
gina: oh shit
ash: this guy’s completely straight btw but he was being super flirty with ricky because that’s just his personality
nini: me
gina: you put your arm around other people when you meet them for the first time?
nini: no ofc not!
ash: ANYWAYS
ash: EJ finished paying but he was MADDD
gina: me when nini puts her arm around other people 😪
nini: babe!
ash: ok but EJ came over and he didn’t even wait for the other guy to take his arm off of ricky
ash: he just started making out with him in the middle of the food court and smiled at the other guy when he was done 😭
ash: my guy was out of there when EJ did that
gina: he really took “carti i wanna go to pluto” to the next level...mans DIPPED
ash: EJ got our food to go and he made me drive back home while he kept making out with ricky in the backseat 😔
nini: lmaooo ash i’m so sorry omfg
gina: EJ said fuck ash rights, i’m going to think my boyfriend is eye-fucking every other guy in the world 💔
ash: to be fair they had only been dating for a month then and EJ was still insecure about the fact that “someone like him would like someone like me”
nini: aw ☹️
gina: yeah i think it would be weird if he was still doing that when it’s been like a year now
ash: it only happened once, i just think it’s funny that he really let himself get that jealous
nini: no i get it, gina’s done that sometimes (not in a bad way)
nini: it’s nice to know that someone cares as long as they don’t go overboard
ash: ok true
gina: the way this chat just got deep...
ash: the way EJ is gonna see these texts later...
nini: LMFAO BYE
nini: i had no part in this 🤫
gina: EJ if you’re reading this, nini and i are innocent ❤️
gina: we are leaving now ❤️
ash: the way i’m alone now
ash: heart been broke so many times
big red: i don’t know what to believeee
big red: mama said it’s my fault 😢
ash: were you just listening to me spill tea i-
big red: maybe
ash: i’m leaving now ❤️
big red: not if i leave first ❤️
ash: i-