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When I can’t take it any longer, you make me feel stronger.
“I… I don’t understand.” Peter looked up at Tony and May, his eyes lost. “I have cancer? Was it- was it something I did?”
“Baby no,” May murmured, running her hand through his curls. Peter could tell May was trying to hold back her tears, could tell she was trying to put on a brave front for him. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” Peter turned to Tony, meeting his gaze head on. He could see the storm brewing, the concern, sadness, fear. Tony reached out abruptly, grabbing Peter’s hand and holding it in a white knuckle grip, taking a deep breath.
“How? He has an enhanced metabolism and healing factor. We always thought he couldn’t get sick.” Tony asked. Bruce sighed, stepping up to join Helen at the end of Peter’s bed, eyes sad.
“Well, we actually have reason to believe the spider bite could’ve been the cause for Peter’s cancer.”
“What?” Peter whispered. That couldn’t possibly be true. The spider bite changed Peter’s life for the better. He no longer had asthma, could see without glasses, had the ability to help people…
And he became a part of Tony’s life. Tony became a part of his.
How could the best thing that ever happened to him also be the worst?
“Peter, you were bitten by an experimental radioactive spider at Oscorp. Really, that much radiation exposure to your blood stream should’ve killed you.” May gasped quietly, grip tightening on Peter’s shoulders. “Luckily, it didn’t. Instead, it damaged your white blood cells and caused them to grow and divide uncontrollably. The buildup made the new, healthy blood cells unable to grow and function normally, which is how your blood cancer formed.”
Peter nodded absentmindedly, trying to process everything.
“Okay, how do we fix it.” Tony said. Tony was a mechanic, he fixed things. This was just something he would have to fix. Helen sighed, her shoulders slumped as she dropped her hands, placing the clipboard with Peter’s chart under her arm.
“Now that we know the type of leukemia he has, we want to keep him in the medbay for a few weeks while he gets a high dose of chemo.” She stated. She turned to Peter, a sympathetic look on her face. “Unfortunately, it’s gonna make you feel pretty lousy, but it’s also going to kill the leukemia cells.”
Peter took a deep breath, nodded and squeezed Tony’s hand, lifting the other to grip May’s on his shoulder.
“The goal is to get you to remission, Peter.” Bruce said. “We’ll check your blood daily, and eventually we will do another bone marrow aspiration to monitor your progress.”
“How soon should we start the treatments?” May asked. She was rubbing her hands along Peter’s arm and back, her soothing presence helping to keep Peter from freaking out completely.
“The sooner the better. We want to kick this as early as we can to prevent it from getting worse.” Bruce said. “We’ll need about an hour or so to get the equipment and the medication brought to the Tower… we’ve never had a need for it so we don’t have any on hand, but then we’ll start right away.”
“This next week will be difficult, Peter, but it’s the first big step to getting better.” Helen continued. “This first phase of treatment is called Induction. We’ll give you large doses of the chemotherapy over the next seven days so it can kill the majority of the leukemia cells. Then, as Bruce mentioned before, we’ll do the bone marrow aspiration to be sure the treatment is working.”
Peter took a deep breath, his hands shaking in his Aunt and mentors grips. He looked up at Bruce and Helen. “I’m going to be okay, right? Like… I won’t die from this?”
Helen smiled and rested her palm on Peter’s ankle, squeezing gently. “I can assure you Peter, you will have the best care you can possibly get. We are going to do everything we can to get you better.”
“Okay.”
-
Once Helen and Bruce left the room to make preparations for the equipment to be shipped to the Tower, Tony and May shared silent looks over Peter’s head. This was new territory for both of them. An enhanced spider kid, Tony could handle. But cancer? Tony was out of his element with this one.
May was the one Peter needed right now, to comfort him and hold him. She had known the kid his whole life, Tony was just lucky enough to be let in recently. Tony stood up, nodding at May and leaning down to meet Peter’s eyes.
“Hey,” he muttered, grabbing Peter’s attention. Those bambi eyes stared back into his. “I’m gonna go run up to your room and grab your pillow and some blankets, maybe some of your clothes. I’ll be right back, okay?” Peter cracks his jaw, nodding. Tony could tell he was trying to stay calm. He could tell by how purposeful Peter was making his breaths. In, out. In, out. Tony furrowed his brow, running his hand through Peter’s curls again and standing upright. “I’ll be right back, kid.”
With that, Tony left the medbay, closing the door softly behind him. Taking a deep breath, he pressed his hands to his eyes, feeling the heat welling up behind them. Just breathe. Just breathe. He couldn’t freak out over this, because if he was starting to freak out over this, he couldn’t imagine what was going through Peter’s mind.
“Tony?”
Tony jerked his hands away, looking up at Pepper. She was still in her work attire, her purse over her shoulder and hair in a tight, but elegant ponytail.
“Tony,” She murmured, moving closer and gripping one of his hands. “Happy said you and May were down here with Peter. What’s going on?”
“Pep,” Tony gasped out, the tears finally falling, “Peter, he- Bruce did a blood test, he-the kid-“ Pepper shushed him gently, placing her arms around his waist. Tony knew it was to comfort him, but it was also supporting him.
“Slow down, honey. What did the blood test show?” Tony took a breath.
“The kid- Peter, he has cancer.” He whispered, closing his eyes and dropping his forehead to Pepper’s shoulder. He felt Pepper stiffen at the news, mutter a soft ‘oh Tony’, and grip him tighter in the hug. “Acute leukemia, stage two. Bruce said they’re gonna start treatments today, but…”
Pepper pulled back and shook her head. “Tony, stop. Don’t do that to yourself. You couldn’t have known this would happen.” She lifted his head to meet his eyes. “Peter is going to get the treatment he needs, and we will all be here for him through it, okay? One step at a time.”
Tony inhaled, letting the air rush in his nose and out through his mouth, steadying him. “Right, one step at a time.” He stepped back from Pepper’s hold, gripping her forearms. “Thank you, Pep.”
“Of course.” She smiled, the lines by her eyes crinkling in that way that Tony loves. “Now, I’m assuming you were headed to his room to grab some things? He probably won’t be leaving the medbay for a little bit.” Tony nodded, a grateful smile raising the corners of his lips. “Okay, let’s go do that, and come back down to sit with Peter while they prepare.”
Tony shook his head disbelievingly. This woman. “I love you.”
Pepper laughed, “I know.”
After running upstairs and telling Happy the upsetting news, Tony returned to the medbay, holding Peter’s pillow and some blankets, with Pepper holding a duffle bag full of comfy clothes. Peter immediately perked up at seeing Tony return, and if Tony noticed his red eyes, he didn’t say anything about it.
“Hey kid, we got you all the comfy stuff, including…” Tony dropped his armful at the end of the bed and turned to Pepper, grabbing the red MIT hoodie from her hand. “Figured you’d ask for one of my hoodies eventually.” He handed it to Peter, smiling as the kid blushed and brought the hoodie close to his chest, his nose going to the fabric and inhaling the familiar smell of cologne and motor oil.
“Thanks Mr. Stark.”
-
It had been an hour since Bruce had hooked up the IV to start the chemotherapy, and Peter was deteriorating by the minute.
“Almost done honey.” May rubbed her palm along Peter’s back, encouraging him to finish the soup. During the treatment, Bruce had told them Peter should eat something that would be gentle on his stomach, that he needed to keep his energy up during the treatment. However, trying to finish the mug of homemade soup Pepper brought down was much more challenging than Peter thought it would be.
Peter sat in the medbay bed, having changed into the MIT sweater Tony brought down, as well as some sweats and fuzzy socks. The collar of the sweater was pulled down in the front just enough to see the tube leading to the IV taped on Peter’s chest. His hand shook as he tried to bring the spoon up to his mouth, eventually giving up and letting it drop back into the mug. “I don’t want it.”
“Honey, can you try to eat a little more?” May pleaded gently. Tony nodded along from his place at the foot of Peter’s bed, rubbing the tops of his sock feet with his thumbs.
“You need to keep your strength up Pete.”
Peter shook his head, his face screwing up and arms going around his stomach. “I-I don’t feel good.” He shuddered.
“Hey, you're okay, it’s okay honey.” May soothed. Tony stood and moved to Peter’s unoccupied side, threading his fingers into Peter’s hair to calm him.
“It’s okay kid, take deep breaths. It’ll pass.” He murmured. Peter did just that, breathing heavily and trying to settle his stomach. Bruce told him what the side effects of chemotherapy would be, he just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly into his first treatment. He didn’t expect to feel so gross.
“This is stupid.” He exhaled. “Why do I feel so bad?”
Tony’s hand moved down to rest on Peter’s neck, rubbing his thumb gently under his ear. “That’s the medicine doing it’s job, Pete. It means it’s working.” He gazed sadly at Peter, wishing more than anything their places were reversed. He glanced at May over Peter’s head, and judging from the look on her face, she was feeling the same way.
“You're going to feel like crap for the next few days, but Bruce and Helen said it would get better, that the worst side effects would fade with time,” May reassured. Peter shivered under their hold and May patted his back. “You cold?”
Peter nodded. “A bit.”
May stood and grabbed one of the blankets resting on the back of the chair next to Peter’s bed. She unfolded it and placed it around Peter’s shoulders, tucking the open ends in tightly to his chest, being mindful of the IV. Tony waved Bruce over from where he was typing on his laptop.
“He’s getting worse, Bruce. Are you sure this is normal?” Tony fretted. Bruce nodded sadly.
“Unfortunately yes, this is completely normal.” Tony bit his lip, looking back at Peter and adjusting the blanket some more. “We’re monitoring his vitals, and as soon as anything looks worrisome, we will deal with it. But for now, he just needs to ride the side effects out.”
Peter groaned, falling back onto the inclined bed. “I hate this. I hate feeling like this.”
“I know kid, I know.” Tony murmured. He moved the tray away from the bed. Clearly Peter was finished with it.
“How much longer?” Peter turned his eyes to Tony, and Tony could see the pain and fatigue in them.
“Bruce said at least another hour.” Peter groaned and twisted his head back. “I know kid, it sucks. Do you want your phone? You can text Ted or your scary girlfriend?”
Peter shook his head, closing his eyes and swallowing thickly. “I don’t want them to know.”
“Peter…” May exhaled. “They’ll need to know eventually.”
“No they don’t. I’ll do the chemo, and then I’ll get better, and it’ll be like it never happened.” Peter stated. Tony, May and Bruce all shared a look. “What?”
“Peter,” Bruce started, “you do know that this isn’t something that can be solved within the week… right?”
Peter’s throat went dry, and he swallowed. “What do you mean?”
“There are three stages to treating cancer, Peter. Right now, you’re going through Induction, which is to try and kill the bulk of the cancer.” Peter nodded. He understood that much, but wasn’t that it? Wouldn’t it go away after that? “Then there’s Consolidation, which is where we try to kill off any inactive leukemia cells to prevent the possibility of the cancer coming back.”
“So, that’ll take, what? A couple weeks? A month?” Peter asked.
Bruce furrowed his brows. “Well, while the first two stages are relatively short, you will spend most of your recovery in Maintenance. That phase can last up to three years.”
Peter choked, sitting up as quickly as his body would allow. Tony and May jerked to support him. “Three years?” Peter croaked. His eyes started filling with tears once again, and if Peter was being honest, he was so done with crying. But he couldn’t help it.
“I know it seems like a long time, but-“
“My entire high school career is going to be everyone knowing me as ‘the kid with cancer’” Peter cried out. May shushed him, pulling his head against her chest and rocking him gently.
Tony looked on, knowing that nothing could be done to fix this. Peter wanted his cancer gone. He didn’t want to deal with this, and yet, the kid had no choice in the matter. The kid was going to cry and scream and grieve, and there was nothing Tony could do about it.
Tony knew in that moment that he wasn’t leaving Peter’s side for a minute of this.
Peter was not going to go through this alone. Not if Tony had any say.
-
“That’s it, take your time honey.” May encouraged as Peter stood from the wheelchair. Peter groaned with the amount of strength it took to stand up and make his way to his bed. His bed. Man, was it good to see his own bed, his own room again.
The past week had been one of the most gruelling weeks Peter has ever experienced, even trumping the week he spent sick after the spider bite. At least he was mainly unconscious for that one. The chemotherapy not only made him feel sick to his stomach, but Peter was constantly cold (more so than normal), was so lethargic he could barely keep up in a conversation, and he was so dizzy.
Tony pushed the wheelchair off to the side after holding it steady for Peter to stand, then rushed to Peter’s bed and pulled back the sheets. He gripped Peter’s arm when he got close, helping May maneuver Peter onto the mattress. “Do you need anything? Some water? More blankets? I can get you more blankets.” Tony nodded to himself, rubbing Peter’s arm. May chuckled and patted Tony’s shoulder.
“Tony, don’t smother him,” she reprimanded. Tony huffed.
“I’m not smothering him, I just want to make sure he has everything he could possibly need and don’t want to let him out of my sight until- oh. I get it now.” May laughed, then turned her attention to her nephew.
“In all seriousness, do you need anything sweetheart?” Peter shook his head, swallowing thickly to hold in the nausea rising up.
“I just want to find a plain spot on the wall to focus on until the room stops spinning.” He mumbled. Tony and May frowned at each other, the lighthearted teasing moment gone.
“Okay honey, do you want us to stay?” Peter shook his head, and May’s face fell slightly. “Okay. I’m going to go shower and then I’ll come back to check on you later, alright?”
Peter nodded, his eyes now focusing on a distant spot on the wall. May sighed, leaning over and cupping the side of Peter’s head, kissing his temple. She rose from the bed with a parting ‘I love you sweetheart’. Tony smiled at May as she took one last look before closing the door.
“I know you don’t always like asking for things when your Aunt is around, so I’m gonna ask again, do you need anything before I go?” Tony pressed gently. Peter had a habit of keeping his wants and needs to himself because he didn’t want to inconvenience others, which he never did. It was more prominent with May, almost as if Peter didn’t want to cause any more grief to the woman, which was stupid. May loved Peter more than anything. He was her son.
Peter shook his head again, but then slowly switched to a nod. Tony could see tears brimming his eyes, lip curling as he tried to hold in the sob. “C-can I have a hug?”
Tony nodded immediately. “Of course, kid,” he murmured as he pulled Peter into his arms, “you never even have to ask.” Peter’s arms weakly wrapped around Tony's waist, his head nuzzling into the crook of Tony’s neck. He let out a heartbreaking sob, and Tony leaned his head on Peter’s, kissing his hairline and resting his lips there.
“I’m so tired of crying,” he heard Peter say into his neck. “I’m so tired of all of this.” Peter pulled back to look at Tony, and the man’s heart broke even more.
“I know kid,” Tony brushed a hand over Peter’s forehead, pushing his hair back, “but the worst part is over. Bruce said that your body accepted the chemo, so now there’s just a couple more treatments and then they’ll put you on the pills instead of the IV to manage it.” Peter closed his eyes and blew out a breath. Tony rubbed up and down his arms when he felt the kid shiver. “I wish it wasn’t you going through this, Pete.” Tony stared into Peter’s dull brown eyes, missing the childish sparkle that was smothered under the pain. “I would do anything to be in your place instead.”
Peter shook his head, grabbing the front of Tony’s hand, his hold so weak, so unlike anything Tony associated with Peter. The kid was so strong, mentally, physically, and it was killing Tony to see Peter like this. “Don’t say that, Mr. Stark.” Peter huffed out. Tony had also noticed Peter having more difficulty breathing since starting treatment. It wasn’t anything too alarming, but the kid was always breathing heavily after conversations, and had difficulty catching his breath.
“I mean it more than anything kid.” Tony said. Peter must’ve known that he wasn’t going to sway Tony’s thoughts, so he simply sighed and fell further into Tony’s hold. “Do you want to try to get some rest? You might be able to sleep off the dizziness.”
Peter’s response was to tighten his hold on Tony, as much as his weak muscles could, and mumble a quiet ‘stay?’ into his chest. Tony pulled Peter closer, using one hand to push Peter’s legs over so he could lay down next to him. “Are you sure you don’t want May in here? I can get Friday to call her back?”
“No,” Peter frowned, “I don’t want her to see me like this.” He tucked his head under Tony’s chin, closing his eyes.
Tony sighed. He wasn’t sure why Peter was so against May seeing him like this, why Tony was allowed to stay but May wasn’t. Peter was so sensitive to everything right now though, so Tony thought better than asking further questions. Instead, he promised to himself to mention it to May later, and threaded his fingers through Peter’s sweaty curls.
“Alright, Pete. Get some rest.”
-
A month passed by, filled with going back and forth between his room and the medbay for checkups and treatments, and Peter was finally starting to feel like himself again.
The nausea seemed to subside once his body got used to the chemo being put into his system. Tony had been worried that Peter’s enhanced metabolism would be an issue and burn through any type of medication too soon for it to be effective, but Bruce and Helen confirmed that the chemo was still doing the job. It was like Peter’s healing took the bench when he was first diagnosed, letting the cancer take over, but was now finally starting to kick in again. Bruce estimated that with his enhanced healing back in the picture, his time in Maintenance might not be as long as he estimated.
Peter knew he wasn’t completely cured of his cancer, but he felt so good, so normal, that it was hard to believe he was still sick.
At least until his hair started coming out.
Peter was in the shower when he first noticed it. Washing his hair with some super fancy shampoo he couldn’t pronounce the name of, he had looked down when he felt something other than water on his feet. He had stared at his hair as it slowly drifted to the drain, being swept down with the water. He ran his hands through his hair again, disbelievingly looking at the clumps of shampooed hair in his hands.
He didn’t understand, I’m getting better, he thought. Shakily, he had finished his shower, dried off and got dressed. He had stared at himself in the mirror, running his hands through his hair and pulling even more chunks out without even using any force.
Panicking, Peter had shoved the hair into the garbage can, putting a wad of toilet paper over it to hide it.
I’m getting better, Peter thought. This is just some sort of fluke.
Now however, as he stood in front of that same mirror a few days later, he knew it wasn’t a fluke. He could see a few bald spots, not big enough for anyone to notice unless they were looking hard enough, but enough for Peter to notice. Peter felt is throat tighten, feeling choked up as he let the panic take over.
He had known that hair loss was one of the side effects of chemo. The chemo killed the cancer cells, Helen had explained, but it also killed hair cells. It targets fast growing cells. He had just been hoping he could be the exception. But clearly, it does not discriminate.
Amidst his panic, Peter couldn’t think. He didn’t want his hair to fall out. It was just one more thing he had no control over in all this. He had to take time off of school while getting his treatment, he wasn’t allowed to be Spiderman, heck, he wasn’t even allowed to stay up past 10:30 anymore.
Peter knew he shouldn’t do it. He knew he would get in trouble. May and Tony, Bruce and Helen, they all strictly forbade him from continuing his Spiderman duties when he was diagnosed. But he had to get some control back into his life. And this was the easiest way to do it.
“Friday?” Peter called out hoarsely.
“Yes Peter?”
“Do you know where Mr. Stark put my suit?” This was such a bad idea.
“Your suit has been placed in the top shelf of your closet, Peter. However I advise against going out, as you are still ill.” Friday responded. Peter closed his eyes with a wince. He knew he shouldn’t go out, but he had to. The itch to get back a little bit of his life was growing bigger, deeper.
“Will you tell Mr. Stark if I leave?”
“I am programmed to inform Boss of your whereabouts at the top of every hour.”
Peter checked the time on his phone. 9:45pm. Tony would be notified that Peter left in fifteen minutes. It wasn’t long, but it was enough.
“Thanks Fri.” Peter smiled as he grabbed his suit from the top shelf of his closet. He was going to be in so much trouble after this. But he needed to do this.
“May I remind you Peter, that this could be detrimental to your progress. You are not supposed to be exerting yourself.”
Pulling on the suit and moving to the window, pushing the latch up and opening it, Peter nodded up at the ceiling. “I know Fri, but I’ll be careful. I won’t be out long.”
With that, Peter ducked out of the window, sticking to the side of the Tower and readying his web shooters.
Time for some long overdue normalcy.
-
“Peter, you know you can’t be Spider-manning right now.” Tony reprimanded.
Peter hadn’t even made it the full fifteen minutes he thought he would have. What Friday failed to mention was that Tony would get a ping whenever he left his room. Tony had said it was incase he needed help and they would know where to look. Peter felt it was an invasion of privacy.
Tony had come out in the Iron Man suit, landing on the rooftop Peter was resting on and literally carried him back to the Tower. Peter had never felt more embarrassed than that moment.
They had flown the short way back to the Tower, Peter mumbling apologies while Tony stayed silent, not saying anything until he had sat on the couch and calmed down. He kept his voice level, knowing that raising his volume would do nothing.
But Peter was angry. Not at Tony, not really, but just at everything. Peter looked down, frustrated tears brimming his eyes. He didn’t want Tony to see him cry. He’d already seen him cry enough throughout all of this, and he had to deal with everything else that was going on because of Peter. He didn’t need to deal with Peter’s tears too.
“Mr. Stark, I can’t not be Spiderman.”
Tony shook his head, standing from the couch and moving to Peter, resting his hands on his shoulders. “I’m not saying you have to stop forever, but for the time being, this can’t happen. You know what Bruce and Helen said, no strenuous activities.” Tony ducked a little to meet Peter’s eyes. “We’ve talked about this before, and you agreed. What’s changed?”
Peter narrowed his eyes and jerked out of Tony’s hold, not missing the hurt look on his face, but not in the right mindset to care. “I need to be out there. Helping people. I can’t do that when I’m stuck inside in bed all day Mr. Stark!” Peter knew that wasn’t the truth, not completely. He knew that Tony knew that. But he couldn’t tell Tony the truth. He would sound pathetic. Tony attempted to reach out to calm him down but Peter jumped out of reach again, grabbing his hair in frustration.
“Kid, you know the rules. Why are you acting out now? What’s going on?”
“What’s going on is you won’t let me go help people-“
“Peter you have cancer!” Tony interrupted loudly. Peter froze. No one had really said the ‘c’ word directly in front of him since he was diagnosed, since he went through the gruelling treatment process, and it threw Peter off, made him back down from the argument and shrink into himself. “You may be feeling better now, but that doesn’t mean the cancer is gone.” Tony sighed. “Kid, you can’t be out there, doing this right now. You’ll just end up making yourself sicker.” Tony had softened the volume when he noticed Peter’s shoulders hunch up to his ears.
Peter sniffed, wiping his nose aggressively. “Fine, whatever.” He started towards his room, but was pulled to a stop by Tony’s gentle grip on his arm.
“I want you to put the suit in the lab after you change.” Peter tensed but nodded, the brimming tears spilling over. Tony sighed. “I’m trying to keep you safe, kid. And sometimes that means protecting you from yourself.”
Peter nodded, not really agreeing with Tony, but just wanting to leave the room. Tony held up the hand not holding his arm, and Peter placed his mask in it, none too gently. He stalked off towards the hallway leading to the rooms.
“I love you, kid.” Tony called out. Peter said nothing in return.
Tony sighed and sunk back down on the couch, fiddling with Peter’s mask. Why didn’t Peter understand how important it was that he just try to get better? Tony was struggling to find the balance between being sympathetic, and wanting to rip Peter a new one for the reckless decisions he made. Why couldn’t the kid just think of himself for once.
Tony furrowed his brow when he felt something fall from inside the mask. Looking down in his lap, he recognized the curly brown strands laying there, and his eyes widened as he turned the mask inside out. In his hand, he held large chunks of Peter’s curls, too large to be anything other than what it was. Peter’s hair was coming out.
And Tony didn’t even notice.
“Oh Pete…”
-
Peter was laying in his bed on his side, still trying to catch his breath from his short swing, and his argument with Tony. “This is stupid.” He muttered. He shouldn’t be out of breath from five minutes of swinging on his webs. He shouldn’t be feeling so… weak. This whole cancer thing was stupid. Tony was stupid. Everything was horrible.
Peter knew that shit happened. Kids get cancer. He just didn’t think it would happen to him. Especially after the bite. But apparently the bite caused his cancer, so that point was null.
Ironic how the thing that saved his life was trying to killing him.
Tony’s the only other person that would understand that the traitorous part of Peter’s mind supplied. It was true though. Tony had had the arc reactor in to keep the shrapnel from his heart. To keep him alive, but the palladium was what almost killed him.
A gentle knock on his door, followed by Tony calling out his name, shook him from his thoughts. Peter huffed, rolling on his back and humming for Tony to come in. The knob twisted, and the door opened to show Tony, holding Peter’s mask in one hand, the other still on the handle.
“Hey, kid.” Tony whispered. Peter cracked his jaw, sitting up and backing into the headboard, grabbing a pillow to hug to his chest.
“Hey Mr. Stark.”
Tony sighed and stepped in, closing the door behind him and moving to Peter’s bed. He sat down, resting a hand on Peter’s ankle. “Kid… why didn’t you tell me?”
Peter stiffened, “What?” He asked. But Peter knew. He knew that Tony knew, but he didn’t want to believe it.
“Your hair Pete.”
Tony held up the mask loosely and Peter stuttered “I, I didn’t-“
“Hey,” Tony murmured, he dropped the mask on the bed and scooted up to the headboard with Peter. He threw an arm over his shoulders, and Peter dropped the pillow he was holding, instead wrapping his arms around Tony tightly. Peter’s shoulders shook, and Tony shushed him gently, rubbing his back and rocking them side to side. “I’m sorry, kid. I’m so sorry.” He whispered repeatedly in Peter’s ear.
A couple moments passed, and Peter pulled back just enough to look in Tony’s eyes. “I’m sorry, Mr. Stark.” He whimpered. He was so done with crying. Tony hushed him again, bringing his hand up to hold Peter’s head up, his thumb rubbing back and forth. “I-I know I shouldn’t have gone out, but- but my hair started- and I didn’t- I didn’t know what to do. I panicked.”
“It’s okay Peter,” Tony said, “I’m just sorry I didn’t catch it sooner.” Tony sighed and pulled his other arm back, only to rest that hand on the other cheek, framing Peter’s face. “I knew your hair was going to come out, Helen said that was a side effect of the chemo… but I should’ve known. Should’ve been there for you when it happened.”
It was quite, just the sound of Peter’s rough breathing and Tony’s whispered reassurances. Tony sat up, a small smile on his face as he thought of an idea. “I’m just going to go grab something, I’ll be right back.” Tony gave Peter a gentle pat on the face, then slid off the bed and left the room. Peter heard some shuffling, the sound of a drawer opening and closing, and then Tony was back, holding an electric razor in his hand.
Peter frowned, scooting off the bed to stand in front of Tony. “What’s that for?” He asked.
Tony smiled, ruffling Peter’s hair, and feeling some of the bald spots at his scalp. “You’re scared about losing your hair because it’s just one more thing you can’t control about this situation, right?” Peter nodded slowly, and Tony held out the razor. “Well, I know you can’t control that you will lose your hair, but at least you can control how you lose it.” He finished, tapping the razor.
“You mean… shave it?” Tony nodded, bringing his unoccupied hand up and rubbing Peter’s arm.
“I know, this is all, really scary,” Tony inhaled deeply, steadying himself, “It’s scary for me too. But you need to know that I am not leaving your side for a second through this. May, Pepper, Happy, your friends Ted and Mj,” Peter winced at that, the quilt of ignoring his friends’ messages cropping up. “We are all going to help you get through this. And if shaving your head is the next big step, then we’ll do it together.”
Peter’s eyes widened and he jerked his head up. “You-what? Together?”
Tony laughed at the stricken look on Peter’s face. “Well, I have always wondered what I would look like bald. And hey,” Tony tapped his chin, “we can even pick out hats together to keep our heads warm.” Peter laughed, and Tony noticed some tears shining in those brown eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Peter shook his head and smiled, wiping his eyes. “Nothing, I just… can’t believe you’d do this for me.”
Tony rolled his eyes and pulled Peter into a hug. “How long is it going to take to get it through your thick skull that I would do anything for you, kid.” They separated, and Tony leaned down to rest his forehead against Peter’s. “You and me, we’re in this together.”
Peter nodded, smiling. “Thank you, Mr. Stark.”
“Anytime Pete,” Tony said, “now, how about we get this show on the road.” Peter shifted nervously, and Tony tapped his cheek. “You and me, kid. Do you want to do the first shave for me?” Peter’s face softened, and he smiled sheepishly at Tony.
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Of course not, kid. Just don’t cut me.” He said, pointing a stern finger in his face.
Peter laughed, something that Tony didn’t realize how much he had missed until that moment, and turned on the razor. He stood on his tiptoes to reach the top of Tony’s head. He rested the razor at the front of his forehead, right at the beginning of his hairline, and slowly shaved off a strip right down the middle of Tony’s head. Tilting the razor, Peter let the hair fall to the ground and fell back on his heels, snorting a laugh as he looked at his work.
“It’s like a reverse mohawk,” he giggled out. Tony joined in on the laughter as he ran a hand over his head, letting out a few chuckles of his own. He took the razor from Peter’s hand.
“Alright, Mr. Chuckles-A-Lot, you ready to join the reverse hawk crew?” Peter sobered quickly, but nodded, his face set determinedly. Tony smiled fondly. He couldn’t be prouder of his kid.
Peter took a deep breath when Tony brought the razor up and closed his eyes. He sensed Tony hesitate and blurted, “Just do it.” Tony nodded, and moved the razor in the same fashion Peter did, leaving one strip of bald spot on the kid.
Tony smiled at Peter when he opened his eyes, releasing the breath he was holding. “That wasn’t so hard.” Peter murmured. He looked down at the carpeted floor, seeing his brown curls in a clump on the ground. He looked back up at Tony. “Maybe we should do this in the bathroom, so it's easier to clean up.”
Tony nodded, headed to the bathroom with Peter in tow. “Yeah, and hey. Maybe we can save all the hair and make Rhodey a wig.” Tony smirked at Peter’s abrupt laugh. “Shouldn’t be too hard to make a wig. I’m a mechanic, I built a suit out of scraps. I can make a wig.”
As Peter and Tony made their way to the bathroom, Peter smiled. Having someone like Tony on his side was something he would be forever grateful for. Never would eight-year-old Peter ever have imagined Tony Stark would be a part of his life. But then again, life throws the weirdest curveballs.
Peter’s just happy he has Tony to help him catch them.