Chapter Text
One - two - three - four…
One - two - three - …four.
...Three… four…
...Four…?
Within the Cloud Recesses, in a certain place, resided four bunnies when there only should have been two.
Lan Wangji was a diligent man, so he counted carefully, thrice. One might wonder why such an excellent cultivator with working eyes may need to count three times for only four bunnies, but even the great Hanguang-jun doubted his vision at times, especially as he was still recovering from a harrowing series of events that had left him bedridden and delirious for months.
So with some trepidation, he glanced down at the basket in his arms. It was filled with the number one, most highest quality hay that GusuLan could afford, vibrant green and emitting a sweet fragrance. It would make any animal salivate with greed and envy. In other words, this was gourmet, a luxury only afforded to the most wealthiest of households for their spoiled farm animals.
Yet, no oxes, no horses, and no pigs resided within the Cloud Recesses. Instead, there existed two of the most doted-upon rabbits in the world, housed within a pen that was hidden in the bamboo trees a li from the Jingshi.
It was a spacious enclosure, fenced with sturdy wooden stakes and braided wire, with plenty of room and lush grass for two bunnies to hop and roll around. There was a hutch, made of precious nan mu, filled with soft bedding and two clean dishes for water and fruit. It was no lie to say that these two bunnies led better lives than most commoners in China. Any street rat would be furious at this blatant waste of resources.
This was Lan Wangji's pride and joy, a project he had come up with while his ravaged back healed.
It took him nearly five months to complete as he cultivated special spirit grass using his own qi and grew patches of sweet clovers for it. He had also delved deep into researching which types of wood to use for the hutch, before realizing he actually knew nothing about construction, nor was he particularly skilled with it. Then he had to find someone who knew what they were doing.
Lan Wangji slipped the request for its funding in between the accounting sheets for a small (boring) conference meeting. The GusuLan senior who sleepily stamped its approval didn't look down and Lan Wangji quietly counted it as a success.
But that was for two bunnies. Now there were a total of four - two of them clearly didn't belong.
Lan Wangji gave a suspicious glance to the new residents. They were ordinary, grey-furred rabbits who were eating up the spiritual grass. At his feet, the two original bunnies nuzzled for his attention. The sweet and rambunctious Yingying with his unique sable coloring, and gentle Zhanzhan whose own white fur stood out in stark contrast from the background.
Meanwhile, the new bunnies did not even look up at Lan Wangji's entrance.
His eyes narrowed just the slightest. They were piercingly cold. Any disciple who would have seen this expression on their Hanguang-jun's face would have had their hearts frozen over with ice.
"Disgraceful," Lan Wangji announced furiously. The interlopers continued to lazily nibble on the grass.
Yingying and Zhanzhan didn't spare a glance at these strangers. Yet still, this peaceful home - shaped by Lan Wangji's own two hands - belonged to them.
Lan Wangji set the hay-filled basket down, filled with sorrow on their behalf for the violation of their sanctuary. He lightly flicked his sleeve at one interloper that tried to come close, sniffing in curiosity.
This special hay belonged to Yingying and Zhanzhan only.
How did those other two rabbits get into the closed pen? How dare they even enter what clearly was not theirs? Lan Wangji could not stand for this crime, this… this injustice!
Yingying and Zhanzhan were small and clearly could not stand up for themselves. They also could not talk, so they would not be able to explain how these interlopers hopped their way into their space. No matter. Lan Wangji was on their side, so he would protect them.
With determination did he walk around the perimeters, searching carefully. But no matter where he looked, there were no dug holes. The gate was secure. The wires were woven together as tight as ever and not even the markings of rabbit teeth were on them.
Nothing was amiss.
Feeling troubled, Lan Wangji gently herded the strangers out. He took one last walk around the perimeters to check its security.
When that was done, he nodded in satisfaction. He turned his attention to Zhanzhan who had been following him as he walked around.
He advised gravely, "It is important to watch closely so you know how to protect your home. Zhanzhan, it is up to you because you are bigger and stronger than little Ying." He was also more thoughtful and wary, while Yingying would simply not care.
Zhanzhan merely blinked, his whiskers twitching.
"Yet, going straight to violence is against the rules. Use words first, then action if an agreement still can't be found." Zhanzhan's pink nose wiggled and his neck stretched eagerly.
Lan Wangji kneeled gracefully to stroke his body. "Good Zhanzhan. One must be well rewarded for being so brave in the face of danger." He reached inside his sleeve and pulled out a dandelion flower.
As Zhanzhan munched on this extra treat, Lan Wangji scooped Yingying onto his lap to lavish him with attention as well and caused the little bunny to flop over in delight.
One - two…
...three - four - five - six...?
Lan Wangji breathed slowly out the horrible sight before him. Four rabbits. Four new rabbits! In a closed and locked gate! Two of them looked exactly the same as the pair from the previous day. The other pair were a lighter color, with longer fur.
He wondered if this was a trick someone was pulling. However, no one else should know where he was keeping Yingying and Zhanzhan. No one even knew he had kept Yingying and Zhanzhan!
He looked at Zhanzhan in accusation, but the white bunny did not react. Honestly, Lan Wangji expected better of him.
Still. A strange suspicion formed in his mind and his eyes roamed down the bunny's body. He turned his observation to Yingying who was sitting still beside him.
No, they were still male. The other rabbits were clearly adults as well, and not juveniles, so neither of them gave birth. An impossible thought, so another theory formed in his mind. Rule 34.
Lan Wangji's heart clenched. Even just the thought of it was unbearable. He continued to look at Yingying and Zhanzhan as he gained the courage to even speak the rule.
After a while, he opened his mouth and with a cold tone, he reminded, "Adultery is forbidden."
As soon as the words left his mouth, he immediately regretted it. His bunnies had never seemed to show an inclination to anyone else but each other. Even now, they expressed no interest in the newcomers and were pressed together as they usually were.
Lan Wangji did not want to suspect them of such a horrid thing either so he pushed this theory out of his mind.
Yingying and Zhanzhan were always together. Trust is important, Lan Wangji decided. So he would trust them.
His muscles relaxed, his shoulders dropping by the millimeter. His heart was filled with apology for doubting them.
But for now, he must deal with the intruders who were ruining the enclosure. Surely Yingying and Zhanzhan must be uncomfortable. The lovely home that he had made for them was turning into an utter mess. The green grass was ravaged, the sweet clovers almost gone, and rabbit droppings were everywhere! It destroyed Lan Wangji's heart to see this, but fortunately, it seemed that the intruders had left the hutch alone.
This time, he made sure to move the rabbit intruders at a far distance where the animal pen couldn't be seen. He spent the rest of the day encouraging more grass to grow, soothing his bunnies, and playing the guqin.
Later, he checked the perimeters again. No holes were dug. No wires bitten through. The fence was still high enough that bunnies could not hop over it.
If anyone had seen this illustrious second master pacing like a madman in the bamboo forest, they would think it very strange indeed.
The next day, there were ten rabbits.
"What do you see?"
A-Yuan looked unsure, shuffling his feet. He had never been in this part of the mountain before. "Um, is this a test?" he asked and then grimaced. The wind had blown around them, causing the ends of his forehead ribbon to whip him in the face. Lan Wangji did not say a word as A-Yuan sighed deeply - so troubled for one so young. It was obnoxiously cute.
He had received his forehead ribbon just a few days ago. The long ends fluttered around him and he was constantly getting tangled up in it. It amused Lan Wangji so he kept quiet on how the boy should have weaved it into his hair or tied it up further.
"No," Lan Wangji said instead. A-Yuan did not look convinced.
"Oh, okay. Will you give me bad marks?"
"No."
"Oh, okay."
Lan Wangji waited patiently. The stretching silence seemed poignant between them. After serious contemplation, A-Yuan said, "Uhh… the sky is blue."
"Indeed."
Encouraged, he added, "the trees are pink!"
"En. It is that time for the magnolias to blossom."
A-Yuan finally beamed up at him, eyes crinkling in an adorable manner. His cheeks were very chubby, and it turned his eyes into little crescents. "Did I do good?"
Lan Wangji stroked his fluffy head while fixing the crooked ribbon. "Well. You did very well. But there, that is where you should look." He turned A-Yuan's head forward to the bamboo forest.
The boy squinted. "There are a lot of bunnies?" he said with a hint of doubt at the small furry beings that he thought he could see.
"A lot," repeated Lan Wangji. He picked A-Yuan up to move closer where they could actually see the bunny pen.
"Um, Hanguang-jun, sir. Is it, um, normal?"
"No."
"Oh, okay." A-Yuan was set down where he crept closer to the rabbits. His eyes were wider than the moon. "Wow," he breathed out. "There are soo many!"
Lan Wangji frowned. Good, they were starting to be on the right track. "How many?"
"There are this many bunnies." A-Yuan held up his little hands and one foot, perfectly balanced.
An exhilarating sense of validation swept through Lan Wangji. It was always good to get a second opinion and A-Yuan was clearly the superior choice.
"Exactly, Lan Yuan. You are such a smart child."
The air around them seemed to get frostier as Lan Wangji tried to process the disaster before him.
There were eighteen bunnies crammed inside the pen.
In the middle of it sat Yingying, standing out as a spot of black in a sea of grey and white fur, who looked as baffled as a rabbit could be. His ears were pressed flat against his little head as he looked around wildly, eyes wide in a frantic manner. The poor thing was slightly shaking. Zhanzhan was just a little ways off. He was easily recognizable because he was the only rabbit who was not trying to eat the grass. He also radiated more intelligent energy, or so Lan Wangji thought.
Zhanzhan made loud unhappy noises as he tried to make his way through the crowding rabbits back to his friend. He nipped furiously at the rabbits that were in his way. Uncharacteristic for one so normally gentle, but this was unprecedented and Lan Wangji could not blame him.
A-Yuan and Lan Wangji observed this together silently, comrades in a dire time. At the same time, furious thoughts ran through Lan Wangji's head. His fists clenched in his sleeves. His eyes narrowed.
A siege. This was a siege.