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Tell Me How We Got Here, Tell Me it’s a Nightmare

Summary:

Mera can’t face another night of reliving the worst mistake of her life, so she decides to try to make things right with the person who suffered the most for her actions.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Blue flames surrounded Mera as she walked towards Sylvie and Molly. She tried to stop herself, to pull herself back but she couldn’t. She felt like a puppet, having no control over her body or movements. It always played out in the same way. First, she would grab Sylvie’s chest and turn his bones to dust, then after he was almost completely helpless she would finish him off by taking his epithet. Then it was onto Molly, somehow she seemed even more frightened than she was at the museum that night, only this time Giovanni wouldn’t intervene and come to her rescue. This time Mera would succeed in taking Molly’s epithet and toss her aside along with Sylvie. Even after she had the epithet in the amulet it wouldn’t work for her. No matter how hard she tried the pain persisted and worsened. Mera could barely breathe at that point. She had worked tirelessly for this, she had destroyed lives and people and still nothing. Everything she’d hoped for any chance of dulling her pain was gone, shattered.

Mera jolted awake with a gasp. She hated that dream, yet somehow every time she had it, it horrified her more. Every aspect of it seemed to get worse with each passing night since the museum incident. In many ways the fear paralyzed her. Fear of how she let herself become this. Fear of hurting the people she had come to almost call friends. Fear that her own pain would drive her to to do something again. Worst of all, the fear that she might succeed. Mera shook her head and tried to clear away the thoughts. She muttered to herself. “No, no, no! I’m not doing this again, I’m not hurting people, I’m fine, everyone is fine.” She took a breath and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. The screen read 6:08, far earlier than Mera’s usual 11:00am wake up time but she really did not want to go back to sleep again. She knew there was another even more horrific interpretation of the events in the museum that night waiting for her if she went back to sleep so that was completely out of the question.

She went to the kitchen and wrote a note for Indus, half wondering if he would even find it. She knew he wouldn’t wake up for another hour or so, so she just stated that she was going out and left the note on the kitchen counter. Not even bothering to change out of her silk pajama set, she grabbed her black faux fur coat off the coat rack and headed for her car, almost forgetting to lock the door behind her. As she got in the drivers seat she briefly pondered if this was even a good idea. Normally Indus just drove her from place to place, she could count the number of times she had driven in the past year on one hand. Regardless she sighed and started the car, already having a destination in mind. She knew it was pretty early but she figured that it was her best shot at getting anymore sleep tonight. It didn’t take her long to reach a sleepy neighborhood of smaller, older houses from her seaside apartment. As she pulled up in front of the subdued mint green house the sun was just beginning to come up on the horizon. She took a breath a braced herself. This might not have been the hardest thing she had ever done but it was certainly up there. She got out of the car and walked up to the door. She hesitated for a moment but knocked anyway despite her brain desperately screaming at her to get back in the car and go home.

After a few moments a very tired teenager holding a coffee cup with worlds best psychologist written on it answered the door. “...Mera? What are you doing at my house? ...at six in the morning?” Mera stuck her hands in her coat pockets as she tried to find the words. “Hey... I really needed to tell you again how sorry I am for everything that happened at the museum. I know we haven’t really seen each other much since I broke your ribs... and I guess you probably never wanna see me again, and actually, I’m sorry I should just go.” Mera turned to leave but Sylvie stopped her. “Look, as a psychologist I understand your motivations for what you did. It didn’t give you the right to harm me or my friends but the fact that you were willing to reach out to me again to apologize as well as the fact that you’ve clearly come here with something else on your mind tells me I should at least hear you out. Come on in and we’ll talk about it.” Mera turns back to Sylvie unsure but nods and steps into the house.

The inside of Sylvie’s house is tidy and pastel but has a professional quality that makes Mera uncomfortable, it reminds her of a doctors office in a way, non threatening on the surface but an underlying feeling of dread threatens to bubble over at any time. Sylvie gestured for her to sit on the couch, a pastel yellow daybed that Mera finds surprisingly comfortable, although she assumes its just the exhaustion setting in. Sylvie set his cup down on the coffee table. “So why are you here exactly Mera? I know you didn’t come by this early in the morning to offer a heartfelt apology without some kind of outside factor influencing you.” Mera raised an eyebrow, even in her emotionally vulnerable state she felt defensive around this kid for some reason. “Okay so basically, every night since the museum I’ve been having these nightmares... and they just keep getting worse and worse, I mean in them I’m hurting people and I’m just completely unhinged! And the worst part is every night I know it’s coming and I try so desperately to change the narrative and I still can’t! What if this is who I am and I’m always gonna be this way!? What if I’m powerless to stop this transformation into the villain of a really bad movie!? What if no matter how hard I try I still have to hurt people just to escape the pain!?” Mera paused her outburst to take a breath and rubbed her temples. She felt so tired and she had all this weighing on her for what felt like so long and she felt so paralyzed by her fear and upsetment that she just let it consume her.

Suddenly Mera felt a wave of overwhelming sleepiness overtake her. “What...? Why did I get so tired all the sudden...? Are using your epithet on me sheep boy...?” Sylvie made a face at being called sheep boy. “Okay first of all my name is Sylvie. But second of all, no actually, it sounds like your lack of sleep over the past few weeks is finally catching up with you. But based on what you said even though it sounds like you’ll need extensive therapy to deal with your issues, I can at least help you get some sleep in the mean time using my epithet. I’ll give you my card through so you can...” He looked up to see Mera had already fallen asleep again. “Uhhh I’ll just give this to Indus when he comes by to take you home I guess.” He reaches for his phone to text Indus before remembering that Indus did not in fact own a cellphone. “Oh no, I take back what I said before, phone calls are in fact a psychologists greatest weakness... but I’m still gonna have to call him aren’t I.” He added the last part in a whiney voice before dialing the number of the landline in Mera and Indus’s apartment.

“Hello Indus? This is Dr. Sylvester Ashling, I think Mera’s having a situation, it would be ideal if you could come pick her up as soon as possible, her range rover is outside so your probably either gonna have to catch the bus or walk...” there was a click heard on the other end of the line. Sylvie shrugged, there must have been a bad connection but he assumed Indus got the message. He walked over to Mera and used his epithet to at least ensure she got some relief from her nightmares. It was only a few minutes before there was frantic knocking on Sylvie’s door. When he opened the door he was greeted by a frantic and sweaty Indus. “WHERE IS LADY MERA? IS SHE UNHARMED?” Indus practically shot through the door and picked Mera up off the couch, much to Sylvie’s annoyance. “Uh come in I guess? Whatever, she’ll be fine after getting some sleep but I really do suggest she has some legitimate therapy to deal with these issues she’s having, here take my card and call me when she feels better so we can set up an appointment.” Indus cradled Mera like a baby kitten as she continued to sleep undisturbed by the noise. “I see, thank you tiny doctor. We shall be on our way now. By the way where did Lady Mera put the car?” Sylvie pointed and Indus walked out closing the door behind him. Sylvie walked into the kitchen and sighed. “Boy, That is one session I am not looking forward to.”

Notes:

If you want something cheerier after this you can also check out my other epithet erased fics!

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