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Richie was unreasonably excited to eat at his favorite restaurant with his best friends. It was especially unreasonable since Stan and Bill never stopped looking at each other like they were the only people in the building. It was awkward to say the least, but Richie didn't care. They were almost there and Richie wasn't talking for once, he was just thinking about how long he had waited to eat. He had practically starved himself that day so he could stuff his face with as much food as he wanted. Stan was ranting about random unimportant crap and Richie had long since tuned out their flirting. Richie counted down how many steps until he made it into the restaurant. Bill opened the door and motioned for Stan to go in before him but Richie pushed past both of them to get in first.
"Thanks Bill." Richie said. Stan rolled his eyes and walked in after Richie. There was a sign that said seat yourself and Richie practically skipped to his favorite booth. Stan and Bill sat across from Richie as Richie waited impatiently for someone to come and take their order. After a few minutes Stan pointed out that there was an unfamiliar waiter walking up to them. Richie stared as this new guy walked right up to their table.
"Hi, I'm Eddie and I will be your waiter this evening." The waiter named Eddie said.
"Where's Doris?" Richie interrupted. She was always so sweet and gave them extra mints and he had formed a connection to the sweet old lady that was their usual waitress.
The new waiter, Eddie, gave him a fake smile, "She retired last week. I took her place. Now, what would you like to drink tonight?"
"I'll have a glass of water please." Stan said.
"Water for m-me too." Bill added.
"I'll have a short glass of water." Richie said moving one eyebrow up and down.
Stan just stared at him, "...what does that even mean dumbass?"
"Well it uh…. I meant because uh Eddie here is really short so… ya know... I was calling him hot." Richie's face went red and Eddie giggled behind his hand.
"So… water?" Richie nodded silently and Eddie walked away with a smile and started talking to his co-workers as he got the glasses from behind the counter-top. Richie stared after him and Bill laughed.
"He laughed at my joke…" Richie said.
"It was probably a pity laugh." Stan said.
"So what douchebag? I still got a laugh!"
"Guys!" Bill interjected, "We are here for a n-nice meal not to make fun of each other."
"Fuck off Billiam." Richie replied. Stan rolled his eyes for the hundredth time that day and started a new conversation with Bill. Richie just stared at the door Eddie had gone through and waited for him. Eddie came back with the water after what felt like an eternity and Richie perked up as soon as he spotted him.
"Hello, Eddie."
"Hi." Eddie put a glass of water in front of each of them and pulled out the small notebook. "What would you guys like to eat?"
"I'll have an omelet with bacon please." Stan said.
"Me too!" Bill chimed in.
"Can I get some spaghetti?" Richie asked.
"Of course." Eddie went to turn away but was stopped by Richie making a loud noise.
" Mmmmmmhh! This water is to die for!"
"It's tap water. Calm yourself." Eddie walked away with a smirk.
"I think I'm in love." Richie said.
"I think you're an idiot. You don't even know him" Stan replied.
"Who cares? I love him. Nothing and no one will change that, especially not you Staniel." Bill grabbed Stan's hand before he shot back at Richie.
"Why did you want an o-omelet?" Bill asked, obviously trying to distract him from the pointless argument. It worked. Stan started talking at the speed of light about how omelets are the best food on the menu. Richie disagreed, but he always knew that Stan had bad taste.
Spaghetti is the far superior food. There's no question. I wonder if Eddie likes spaghetti. Wait… Does that rhyme?
Richie gasped aloud and started cackling like a maniac.
"Shut the fuck up Richie!" Stan said, trying not to yell.
"Why should I, asshole?"
"Because it's fucking annoying. You do realize the people around us want to beat the shit out of you, right?"
"They'd lose against my fighting skills."
"What skills? Y-you couldn't even get your s-sock back from your cat this morning!" Bill said laughing his head off.
"Okay, that's different. My cat is a scary mother fucker. I'm pretty sure he's a demon from hell. Also, those people should stop being bitches and mind their own business. I mean, enjoy your fucking food people, don't harass m-." Richie gasped again and started downing his water. He watched Eddie walk back to the table as he struggled with all the food. Adorable.
"You are such a fucking pig." Stan said.
"Stan, I don't want to have to tell you to fuck off again but I will if I have to." Richie stood up and ran over to Eddie. "Ya need some help shorty?" Now that Richie was standing, the height difference was very obvious and it made Eddie look even cuter.
"Don't call me short, I'm not short. I am the average height for an adult male in America." Richie snorted and grabbed his spaghetti plate and one of the omelets.
"Ok, ok. How about Eds?"
"No."
"Eddie spaghetti?"
"Why the fuck would you call me that?"
"You brought my spaghetti to me. STAN, BILL. Could you guys stop eye-fucking for once? We are in a restaurant. I'm trying to have a nice meal with a hot waiter." Richie said, causing Eddie to giggle again.
"F-Fuck off Trashmouth." Bill said.
Richie set his spaghetti down and handed the omelet to Bill. Eddie put the other omelet in front of Stan and Stan thanked him.
"I'll be back to check if everything is okay in a few minutes." Eddie said.
"Come back sooner please. I can't stand these idiots" Richie pleaded.
"What if I like seeing you wait for me like a puppy dog at the door? It gets cuter the longer I'm away."
Richie gasped, "You think I'm cute?"
"Is that what I said?" Eddie turned around and practically sprinted to the back room with a red face. Richie heard laughter coming from the room and Eddie screeching at his co-workers.
"Guys I think he likes me." Richie said.
"Ask for his number." Bill suggested.
"Or give him yours if you have the balls." Stan added.
Richie waggled his eyebrows, "Well, I could give him both."
"That's not what I meant asshole."
"Oh. My. God. Stan the Man… are you jealous? Your boyfriend is right there my man." Stan kicked Richie's leg under the table and Richie cursed. " Fuck! Stop the violence Stan. My god."
"Shut the fuck up before I beat your ass Richie."
" Shh ! Here comes my one true love. Hello, Eds! My spaghetti is satisfactory. " Richie said in his British accent.
"What was that even supposed to sound like? Maybe you should stick to your actual accent." Eddie said with a smirk.
"Hell yeah he should." Stan mumbled.
"Eat shit Stan. I have plenty of stellar accents, would you like to hear them?"
"Definitely not. So, I take it that you guys are friends?"
"Yep! That's Stan the Man, he's the bully of the group, that's Big Bill, he's the leader, and I'm Richard Tozier, the best one in the group. Nice to officially meet you." Richie stuck out a hand for Eddie to shake but Eddie hesitated.
"Have you washed your hands recently?"
"Why would that matter?"
"Hands have billions of germs. Have you been eating without washing your hands first? That's fucking disgusting. Go to the bathroom and wash your hands."
"Why should I?"
"I will only touch your hand if it's clean." Richie sprung up and ran to the bathroom. He came back after about 10 seconds and was stopped by Eddie pointing at the bathroom door.
"20 seconds or more." Eddie said. Richie ran back to the bathroom and washed his hands thoroughly.
"You sure are making him go through a lot to shake your hand." Stan chimed in.
"I don't like germs."
"U-understandable. Germs are gross. S-So is Richie." Bill said. Richie came back huffing and puffing.
"Okay…" Richie stuck his hand out.
"Shake my hand?" Eddie took his hand for a few moments.
"Alright, I need to get back to the kitchen before my friends come looking for me." Eddie walked off and Richie plopped in the booth's cushion.
"I need him to love me… Stan! How did you seduce a stud like Bill here?"
"Richie I fucking swear. We came here to eat so eat your goddamn spaghetti."
"Wow! Who shoved a stick up your ass… other than Bill of course." Bill spit out the water he'd been sipping from. His face went bright red.
"Richie… what the fuck? Why can't you mind your own business?" Bill asked.
"I'm a nosy motherfucker Billy." Richie took his fork and started to shove spaghetti in his mouth. When Eddie came back Richie didn't notice.
"Hey guys, just came to check on you again. Did someone spill something?" Eddie asked, pointing at the water Bill spit out.
"HAH! Nope, Bill spit it out after I said that he shoves sticks up-" Bill jumped up and smacked Richie's head hard. "What the fuck Bill?!"
"Learn to shut up d-dumbass!" Bill said.
"H-how would I? It up-upsets you s-so m-much!" Richie imitated.
"... alright. Is the food good? Can I get anything else for you guys?" Eddie asked. Eddie reached over Richie to get to the spill and started cleaning it up. Richie laughed obnoxiously.
"Isn't this going kinda fast?" Eddie ignored him.
"No thanks." Bill replied.
"No thank yo-" Stan started.
"Can I have more spaghetti?" Richie asked.
"I guess."
"Can we get it to go though?" Stan asked.
"Of course." Eddie walked away and Richie stared after him.
"Why Stan? Do you hate me?" Richie asked.
"Most of the time." Stan responded.
"Are you gonna ask for his nu-number?" Bill asked, changing the subject.
"NO! That's scary."
"Pussy." Stan mumbled.
"God damn Stan. I keep telling you to fuck off but you just can't listen. I will ground you in front of everyone here." Richie said, gesturing to the people there. Stan stared at Richie and stood up. He walked over to one of the workers and asked for a pen. He took the pen and came back to the table. He grabbed a napkin and wrote down Richie's number. "What the fuck are you doing Stan?" Stan didn't answer, he just waited. After a few minutes of Richie's pointless questioning Eddie walked out with the spaghetti.
"Here you go." Eddie said, handing the food to Richie.
"Thanks." Richie said.
"Here's your check."
"Alright, thank you." Stan said. They got up and Bill pulled out money for the tip. They walked to the cash register and waited for a worker.
"Can I see your check?" The worker asked.
"Yeah." Stan gave her the check. Eddie walked over to them and started talking to the worker.
"Hey Beverly-"
"Here you go." Stan said, handing Eddie the number. "It's Richie's number. He was too chicken-shit to give it to you himself." Beverly started laughing and Eddie's face went red. He took the number and smiled awkwardly.
"Thanks." Eddie said. He looked at Richie and Richie was staring at the ground. "I'll call you." Richie looked up.
"Are you serious?"
"Hell yeah he is! He's been talking about you ever since you got here." Beverly chimed in.
"Beverly shut up!"
"You totally were though! He kept talking about how cute you were and how stupidly funny your jokes are. I'm Beverly, by the way."
"I'm Richie. This is Stan and Bill."
"We better get g-going." Bill said.
"Alright. Bye Beverly. Make sure you don't forget to call me Eds!" Richie said walking towards the door.
"Don't call me that!" Eddie yelled after him with a smile.