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When they were kids, a SOLDIER had passed through Nibelheim on a mission. He had stopped for the night at the Inn in town, before setting out on a mission in the mountains the following day. It was the first time either of them had ever heard of the SOLDIERs.
“He’s going into the mountains! Alone!” Audra’s voice was sharp with excitement in his ear.
Cloud could feel her small body vibrating, wrapped around his neck in the form of a stoat.
“I know!” He whispered back. “He doesn’t even seem concerned about the wolves or other monsters that live there! That’s amazing!”
Cloud had been enraptured, by the SOLDIER’s bearing, by the gleam of his sword, and the stories he told. His eyes were a bright Mako blue, striking, glowing, and not something Cloud had ever seen before. His daemon, who had taken the form of a grand lioness, had equally caught Audra’s attention. This man was a true hero. For a lonely boy who didn’t fit in, too quiet, too shy, too awkward with conversation, he was the perfect aspiration.
Mom had told them not to bother the man, catching the look in their eyes. They had both done a good show of pouting and reluctant agreement, then swapped a determined look as soon as she turned her back.
After dinner, once the sun had set, they snuck out of the house and made their way to the inn.
The man was easily recognizable, and if he wasn’t the giant lioness sprawled in front of the fire would have given him away. The man glanced up as Cloud approached, and amusement sparkled in his eyes.
“Hello.” He said kindly, the wrinkles around his eyes crinkling.
Audra shifted into an owlet, perched on Cloud’s shoulder, eyes wide. They both paused, nervousness catching up with their enthusiasm.
The man chuckled at their nerves, and invited them to sit.
“Want to hear some stories about my adventures?” He prompted.
“Oh, yes!” Audra peeped, along with Cloud’s nod.
The lion chuffed in amusement, then turned over to warm her stomach. As the man began to speak, Cloud lost his self-consciousness. He lost himself in the tales of adventure and heroism, and soon began begging for more.
After the third time Cloud had coaxed a story out of the man (This one about fighting a Midgar Zolom to protect his stranded troops), the SOLDIER had patted Cloud on the head with a laugh. Cloud was seated in a plush chair, curled up with Audra in his lap, who was valiantly struggling to keep her eyes open. Cloud’s own drooped against his will.
“Perhaps it’s time for you to return home and get some sleep.” The man said, kindly.
“I’m not -” Cloud began, before being interrupted by a yawn. He blushed at the SOLDIER’s stifled laughter. “- not tired.”
“You need to get some rest. You’ll need it, if you ever want to become a SOLDIER.” The man said with a wink.
Tucked in bed with Audra curled as a cat on his chest, they both were restless with excitement.
“Do you think we could really become a SOLDIER?” Cloud asked as he gently stroked his hand through her fur.
“I think so.” Audra said. ”I mean, I know so!”
“We can be brave. And strong!” He insisted.
“Yeah! We’ll be the bravest SOLDIERs ever! We’ll travel around the world, fighting big monsters and saving people!” She had shifted into a puppy, and began to wiggle on the bed.
“Maybe someday we’ll even rescue Tifa and Zen from a hoard of evil monsters! We’d be their heroes!” Cloud shouted.
There was a knock on the bedroom door.
“Cloud? Please go to sleep. It’s very late.” His mother said softly, but firmly.
“Yes mom, sorry!” Cloud said sheepishly. He exchanged chagrined looks with Audra.
***
Over the next few years, Cloud and Audra seized every bit of news about the SOLDIERs and their adventures that they could get their hands on. They’d ask for news from every traveller passing through (which was rare) and be the first to read newspapers that made their way into town (even rarer). More and more often the news would be about Sephiroth, the Silver General. He was everything Cloud aspired to be, the unbeatable hero who won a war!
The weird fixation on the world outside Nibelheim, and with SOLDIER especially, made Cloud and Audra even less popular among the other kids. Only Tifa and Zen continued to treat them kindly.
“We should leave.” Audra said, out of the blue one day.
They were sitting on the water tower in the middle of town, daydreaming about adventures. Although the day was sunny and cloudless, the wind had a bite of winter to it. Cloud was bundled up and had his arms around Audra who had shifted into a fluffy wolf pup.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“Nibelheim. The other kids don’t want us here. We also don’t get any news, and nothing exciting happens. We should go to Midgar. We’ll never become SOLDIER just hanging around here our whole lives.”
Cloud was silent for a moment, contemplating her words. Becoming SOLDIER had always seemed like a far off dream. A realistically unattainable goal that wouldn’t really happen.
“Do you think we could actually do it?” He asked in a whisper.
“Why not? We join Shinra, get some training, and impress them enough to get selected. We just need to get there.” She gave him a determined look. He could read in her face that she was asking him to make the leap and put effort into making their dreams reality.
“It would mean leaving home, and leaving Tifa and Zen. We wouldn’t see them again. Or mom.” His words were soft.
It wasn’t a refusal, just a statement of facts.
“I know. But, isn’t it worth it? To become SOLDIER? To show everyone how strong we are?”
They shared a look, sadness mixed with determination.
“Okay. Let’s do it.” He nodded. “We’ll leave in the spring, once the mountain roads are passable again. Get to Costa de Sol, take a ship to Junon, then make our way to Midgar.”
“We might be able to get a ride to Costa de Sol with some merchants. That would be a stroke of luck.”
“We’ll have to let Tifa and Zen know what our plans are. Maybe we should ask them to meet us tonight.”
***
Cloud was 14 when Audra settled. Just after they had left Nibelheim for Midgar. They had spoken many times, of the form she might take. A bold lioness? A cunning wolf? An elegant eagle?
“I’m sorry you didn’t get in.” Zack said.
They were seated in his quarters. Small, sparse, but being SOLDIER Zack got his own room. That was one of the highest luxuries, Cloud thought.
A luxury he would never get, now. It was a hard thing to accept.
“You know, you could always try again next year. The exams, I mean.” There was a gentleness to Zack’s voice.
He was trying to step carefully, to not offend.
“It wasn’t just the exams.” The words were bitter in Cloud’s mouth. “It’s that damned daemon prejudice. Just because Audra settled as a cat doesn’t mean we don’t have what it takes!”
Audra was sulking under his chair, a small tawny lump. He didn’t resent the form she had taken, how could he? She was a part of him. But, he resented a world in which people were judged by their settled daemon, and not their merit.
He hadn’t done badly on the exam. He could have done better, true, but he had been proud of what he achieved. Proud and beaming, up until the moment he had been called aside by the proctor and told to give it up.
His daemon didn’t fit what they were looking for. She wasn’t something grand or impressive or intimidating. She was a small tawny cat. Fierce and determined, in her own way. But not enough to sway them. His test results hadn’t mattered.
“I know, Spike. Believe me, I know. You have more determination than any other person I’ve met.” Zack’s voice was a soft sigh.
Cloud felt a small flash of resentment towards his friend, before feeling ashamed of it. Viola had settled as a large wolf, imposing and striking. Zack never had any challenges on his way up the promotional ladder.
Viola crept up to audra, and Cloud moved his legs to avoid touching her. The wolf laid down on the floor, with her paws extended and just gently touching the cat. She whined softly under her breath, then fell silent with a huff.
They lapsed into a heavy silence for a while, stewing in their thoughts.
“On the bright side, it means that you’ll still get to come with me on that mission to Nibelheim soon. You haven’t forgotten that I requested you, right?” Zack said eventually, breaking the silence. He forced some of his usual cheer into the words.
“Oh, yeah… right. Nibelheim….” Cloud’s words trailed off.
Under his chair, Audra curled even tighter into a ball. How could they face everyone back home, knowing they had failed. They had told everyone that they would return as a SOLDIER.
“Oh, General Sephiroth is going to be joining us too. Whatever’s going on must be serious.” Zack said, a frown creasing his features.
“The Silver General! Really?” Cloud blinked in amazement. Under his chair, Audra’s ears perked up.
General Sephiroth was a legend, and Cloud would be lying if he tried to say he wasn’t starstruck by the thought of working with him. Maybe this could be the trade off for going home a failure. Finally getting to meet his hero, and maybe having an opportunity to impress him.
Zack caught his expression and gasped in mock offense, hand on his heart.
“Spike, I’m wounded. You’re more excited to be working with Sephiroth than me?” He leaned forward over the table with a pout.
“Oh please. You were the one who begged me to get over my hero worship.” Cloud said with a snort.
“Betrayed! By my best friend no less! How terrible!” Zack leaned back in his chair, arm over his eyes. He put too much force into it, and toppled over with a yelp. Cloud stifled a snicker, not wanting to give his friend more fodder for his dramatics.
Cloud caught Viola’s eyeroll at his antics.
The tense atmosphere had dissipated, and Cloud felt most of the tension he was holding leak away. Zack always had a way of cheering him up.
Audra leapt onto his lap and settled there, laughing at Zack.
***
Cloud’s eyes felt heavy, but his body felt light and weightless. His head swam, and he could barely string any thoughts together.
A man ducked into his vision. Familiar. Black spiky hair, mako bright violet eyes. Zack. Cloud felt a rush of warmth at his familiar face.
“Hey spike, can you hear me?” Zack’s face was creased in concern. His voice sounded like it was echoing from miles away.
Cloud tried to speak, but he couldn’t get his throat to cooperate.
“I’m not having any luck with Audra either.” Another familiar voice. Viola. “This is the first time I’ve ever been thankful she settled as a small cat. Makes carrying her easier.”
“What are we going to do, Viola? How do we get out of this.” Something was wrong. Zack never sounded quite so tense, there was an unfamiliar edge of fear to his words. Where was his usual cheer? Zack and fear were antithetical.
“I don’t know, Zack.” Viola’s voice was strained. “I don’t know.”
Cloud turned his head, the effort required was monumental. He caught a quick look at Viola. The large wolf had Audra cradled between her front paws. She looked small and fragile, her tawny body lying limp. Before he could make any more movements, Cloud’s thin hold on consciousness snapped. He spiralled away into a dizzy sleep.
He awoke several times, in fits and starts, but was never able to regain consciousness for long. Sometimes he’d see Audra trying to drag herself out of whatever stupor they were in. Always, Zack and Viola were there. Protecting them, keeping them alive. How long were they like this? Hours? Days? Months? There was no way to tell.
On one particular occasion, Cloud awoke to a campfire. He could hear whispered voices.
“-I don’t hear you making any better suggestions. We can’t just leave them.” It was Zack’s voice. Angry, strained. Cloud had never heard the man this angry before.
“I’m not saying that! I would never leave them! But we can’t go on like this Zack. They’re catching up to us. We’re both exhausted, you’re injured.” the wolf snapped.
“I know!” Zack yelled. Then, quieter. “I know. But I don’t know what to do. If we don’t keep moving, if they catch us….”
“Okay. I’m sorry. We need a plan. Where are we going to go?” Viola asked.
“Midgar? We can get lost in the slums. Too many people, not enough Shinra enforcement. Living right under their noses. Could pick up mercenary work. After Cloud wakes up, I’m sure he’d be happy to help.”
Cloud heard footsteps approaching. A heavy thump as a weight slumped down beside him. Fingers stroking through his hair.
“Alright. Midgar, mercenaries. Not terrible. Hopefully Cloud and Audra will wake up once we get them settled somewhere reasonably safe and stable.” Viola’s voice trailed off in a sleepy yawn.
The gentle fingers in his hair was a tether keeping Cloud in the present. But it was getting harder and harder to keep his grasp on the sensation.
“Please Spike. You gotta wake up. C’mon Cloud.” Zack said, his voice breaking.
Cloud ached at the despair in Zack’s voice, but he couldn’t muster the energy to respond. Even listening was too much effort. He sunk into unconsciousness again.
***
When he next surfaced, something was different. Zack and Viola were nowhere to be seen. Audra had been placed in his lap, but she was blinking in confusion, struggling to pull herself into consciousness.
He could feel his connection to Audra, but it was muted, muffled. Smothered in the same haze that Cloud’s mind was.
The sound of gunfire caught his attention. He heard a shout, was it pain or anger? It was definitely Zack.
His eyes slipped closed again, only to shoot open with a shock.
Viola licked him across the face again, causing an energy to zing through him. She was touching him, she had broken the taboo.
“Please Cloud! You need to get up. Zack needs you!” Her voice was a desperate wail. “He needs you!”
He reached a hand out, and placed it on her head. The feeling wasn’t necessarily pleasant or unpleasant, just intense. Intimate. He was touching Zack’s soul. It was helping to ground him to the here and now, though. A tether to the present.
“Oh thank the gods! Please Cloud! Come help us!” She pushed her face into his chest, and he got a better grip on her fur. He used her to steady himself, and yanked his mind back when it began to spiral.
“What’s going on?” His tongue felt thick and clumsy in his mouth.
“Shinra has caught up with us! There’s too many of them. They are going to kill him, Cloud!” Viola was frantic, her voice a shout.
“We need to help them.” Audra said. She was standing on unsteady legs, her vision unfocused. He had never been so glad to hear her voice before. It had been so long!
He tried to get to his feet, his legs unsteady. The ground was slick under his boots, a thick mud had formed from all the rain. His muscles felt atrophied, nothing listened to him.
“How long have we been out?” He asked Audra, haltingly. Even talking was a challenge.
“I don’t know. A long time, I think.” She replied, just as shaky.
Suddenly Viola jerked out of his grip. Her eyes were wide and panicked, edged with despair.
“Zack!” She howled, before tearing off around the other side of the rock, her gait alarmingly unsteady.
An oppressive silence blanketed the area. Cloud didn’t know when the gunfire stopped, but the absence was alarming. He scooped up Audra, who clung to his shoulder.
He stumbled out, vision swimming, trying to catch sight of his friend. A dark shape lay sprawled on the ground. Viola was crouched around it, letting out a low keening wail. Ice settled in Cloud’s veins.
“No.” He breathed out. They couldn’t be too late.
He stumbled forward, the uneven ground working in combination with his unsteady legs, making the small distance seem so vast.
He dropped to his knees just beside Zack, the action causing the man to stir. Audra crept out of his arms and crawled to Viola, laying her head against the wolf. They spoke softly to each other. Cloud couldn’t make out the words, but he could hear the distress in Audra’s voice.
If it hadn’t been for Viola’s wails, he would have assumed Zack was already dead, just from the amount of blood pooling around him. His dark hair was matted down onto his face with it.
Zack cracked an eye open, and smiled when he met Cloud’s gaze.
“Good.” He said, the word whisper soft. “You’re awake. I was worried about you.”
“Zack….” Cloud began, unable to comprehend the scene in front of him.
“You have to live. For both of us.”
“For… both of us. No.” Cloud gave him a helpless look, not wanting to accept what he was being told.
“You can’t leave us.” Audra whispered.
Zack reached up and rested his hand on the back of Cloud’s neck, then pulled him forward. Cloud’s muscle’s still wouldn’t respond properly, so he fell forward onto Zack’s chest. He could feel warm, sticky blood soaking into his hair and coating his forehead, and suppressed a sob. Cloud listened to Zack’s slowing heartbeat, begging himself to wake from this nightmare.
They lay like that for a breath, before Zack pushed Cloud back. Zack reached around Cloud and gripped his massive sword. He motioned for Cloud to open his hands, and then pressed the sword into them.
“You’ll be…. my… living legacy.” The words were coming harder to Zack now, his face creased with the effort. Wrapped around his head, Viola began to dissolve.
“No no no no no…” He could hear Audra whispering in horror.
Zack closed his eyes one last time, and Cloud and Audra were left on the clifftop alone.
Cloud let out a scream of anguish, matched by Audra’s caterwauling.
After several minutes, head still spinning, body still fighting him, Cloud got to his feet. He scooped up Audra again, and turned towards Midgar. Maintaining their grip on the present was difficult, but Cloud was determined to make it.
***
Cloud opened his eyes, only to immediately shut them with a grimace. The light in the room caused stabbing pains. He threw an arm over his head. The movement brought attention to how much his body ached. His head was spinning, he felt nauseous. Shiva, what had he done the night before.
Slowly, the aches began to ebb to a more bearable level. He could open his eyes and look around.
An unfamiliar room, run down and dingy. The buster sword leaned against the wall by his bed. How had he gotten here? Where even was here? It was so difficult to think.
He glanced at his clothes. He was dressed in the familiar SOLDIER uniform, the dark blue of 1st class. That’s right, he had always wanted to be a SOLDIER. He remembered now, he was Cloud Strife, SOLDIER 1st class. He had achieved his dream. One of the youngest SOLDIERs ever, just behind…..
“Audra?” He managed to croak out.
“Here.” Her voice sounded equally rough.
He glanced in the direction of her voice. He saw movement shifting, a blurry outline. He blinked, and his eyes focused on Audra, a large black… wolf? Yes, that’s right. Audra had settled as a wolf. An impressive daemon that had earned him a lot of respect in SOLDIER.
He was momentarily unsettled by her mako bright gaze. But, that was normal. They were SOLDIER. The process would have left them both with that mark. He was used to seeing those eyes, so why was he unsettled? What was wrong with him today?
“I feel awful, Cloud.” She said with a whine. She pawed at her head, then flopped back onto the bed and lay still.
“What in the hells were we up to last night? Why is my memory so fuzzy?” He asked.
“I wish I knew. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so bad. Not even when Sephiroth-” The rest of her sentence was cut off by a shrill bark of pain. She wriggled on the bed, until it passed.
Cloud reached over and ran his hands through her coarse fur, feeling the reverberations of pain.
“We were sent back to Nibelheim, on a mission…. Right? Sephiroth turned on us? We fought him at the reactor. We… killed him?” Cloud puzzled out. Trying to think was giving him a headache. His thoughts slipped away like rain on glass.
“How’d we get here? Where are we?” He asked, looking around.
Out of the window, he could see the dense sprawl of Midgar, the plate replacing the sky above. That answered that question.
“Sephiroth stabbed you, I think?” Audra supplied as she began to sit up cautiously on the bed. “Maybe we’re recovering from that. A shock like that could probably account for the memory loss.”
Cloud sat up suddenly, then caught his head in his hands as another wave of pain and nausea rolled through him.
“Nibelheim… there was a fire. Sephiroth killed everyone…. Something about… experimentation?” He grit out through clenched teeth. His thoughts moved like drying cement, and were as painful as gripping barbed wire.
“I remember! They tried to get us, Cloud! They tried to do something to us! But we escaped. We can’t go back to Shinra.”
“You’re right. It would be too dangerous. I don’t know what’s going on, but Shinra is no longer an option.”
“We’ve gotta be on our own from now on.” Audra agreed.
“What should we do?” Cloud asked, reaching out to run his fingers through her fur.
“Well, weren’t we coming to Midgar to pick up mercenary work? I think that was the plan.” Audra said.
“Now that you mention it, I think I remember something about that. Alright, then let’s do it.” Cloud nodded.