Chapter Text
"Now?" Topanga asked, her eyes wild and wide open. She hadn't been sleeping much since bringing Riley home, and the dark circles simultaneously made her look otherworldly beautiful and terrifying. "You're running out on us now?”
Shawn backed up, nearly tripping over one of her chunky handmade rugs in his effort to get out of range. "Pretty sure it doesn't count as running out since I'm not actually part of this marriage?"
"Way I remember it, I ended up saying my vows to both of you because Cory wouldn't let you go, so you're part of this, Shawn Patrick Hunter--"
Shawn had timed his exit very carefully to coincide with one of Cory's late night grocery runs. He thought it might be easier to get past Topanga, and call Cory once he found a motel. Saying goodbye to Cory in person never worked out, because he always ended up following him back home. Since he couldn't seem to get past Cory, and so this had seemed the safer choice at the time.
But he had forgotten that Topanga was the scariest person he'd ever met, even when well rested.
"Come on, Topanga, I have a reputation to keep, I cant be caught changing diapers," Shawn said, tossing her a roguish grin to try and soften it, and deflect from the fact that wasn't the reason at all.
The real problem was that he'd been living in the spare room like their loser third wheel friend for years, but they'd still been young enough that it hadn't been strange. Cory and Topanga may be married, but they'd all just graduated, and roommates were expected.
Riley Matthews had not been expected.
She was tiny and beautiful and fragile, and she took up all the space here that Shawn had fooled himself into thinking belonged to him. Riley didn't deserve to grow up with some strange uncle in the spare room, making everything more complicated. She deserved a home like Cory had growing up, and Cory and Topanga would give it to her.
He wasn't going to get in the way of that.
"That's what Cory's for," she said, narrowing her eyes. "You're the one that reads to her and the only one that can seem to get her to sleep. If it wasn't for you and Peter Rabbit I would have lost it by now."
"This isn't you...having lost it?" Shawn asked carefully, and Topanga's eyes took on an almost reddish tint.
"Oh you haven't seen anything yet," she said, reaching out to wrap one of her hands in the front of his shirt to drag him closer. "Now you get in there and read to my child so I can sleep."
"And how am I supposed to get a life if I just keep pretending I can share yours?" Shawn asked quietly.
Topanga let him go, startled, and tears started to form in her eyes. The last thing he wanted was to make her cry, but this was long overdue. He never should have followed them to New York in the first place, he realized that now. If he'd been able to say goodbye then, he wouldn't have to say goodbye now.
"Do you know how many times I've tried to run? Because I've lost count. But Cory always pulls me back. I can't let him pull me back this time, Topanga. It isn't fair to any of us, least of all to Riley."
"Riley is going to need you," Topanga said, though all the fire had left her voice. "You can't just leave her with us. She'll end up like Cory."
Shawn laughed, shaking his head. "I can't think of a better way for her to end up, except for her to be a little like you too. Maybe she'll be like you both."
"But what's going to happen to her without a little of you?" she asked.
"Maybe she'll find a Shawn of her own, you never know," he said, and shrugged.
"He loves you, Shawn," Topanga said. "You know how much he loves you. I don't even know who he'll be without you."
"And I don't know who I am without him," Shawn said. "That's why I need to leave."
"Ten minutes," Topanga said quietly.
"What?" Shawn asked, frowning.
"That's how long you have until Cory gets home, so that's how long you have for a head-start," she said. "He's going to try and stop you, and I'm not going to stop him."
Shawn picked up his duffle bag, and nodded, not bothering to talk her out of it. Topanga would do almost anything for him, just as he would do almost anything for her, but both of them made exceptions where Cory was concerned. He always came first for both of them.
Except just this one time, Shawn was putting himself first.
"Take good care of my niche for me," Shawn threw back with a grin, as he headed out the door.
"If you're trying to make it so I won't miss you, it's working!” she shouted after him.
It was a lie, because that gorgeous grin of his just made her think of how much she'd miss it when it was gone.
* * * * *
"I don't understand," Cory said. "You keep saying he left, why won't you just tell me when he's coming back?"
Shawn's ten minute head-start had lengthened to a good half hour due to Cory's complete and utter refusal to accept that Shawn was really gone.
"Honey, we've been through this, I don't know," she said.
"But how could you not know? We have rules, Topanga! We always let someone know where we're going, because New York is big and scary!"
"We've been here almost three years, don't you think it's time that you--"
"Big and scary, Topanga! Our daughter can never go outside," Cory decided. He paused. "We better give her the room with the bay window, so she can at least see the sky."
Topanga rolled her eyes, rocking Riley carefully as she fussed. "Well Shawn isn't five months old, so he is allowed outside, and he doesn't have to tell us everywhere he's going."
Cory snorted. "Ah, maybe he doesn't have to tell you, but we made a blood pact in second grade." He threw out his hand angrily. "Doesn't he know breaking it is going to give him cooties for a week? A week, Topanga!"
Topanga turned to stare at him. "I want a divorce."
"One of these times you're going to mean that, and I'm not going to believe you," Cory told her.
"You're right, I guess I'm stuck with you, unto death, yada yada, but Shawn's not, and he needs to figure out who he is when he's not," she said.
"Wait...you're serious," Cory realized, before going pale. He darted past her into Shawn's room, panicked, and turned on the lights. The bed was nicely made, but the closet was open and empty and the ever present stack of books on Shawn's nightstand was missing. He tried to take in air but he felt suddenly like he was suffocating. He spun around. "Topanga, all Shawn's stuff is gone!"
"I changed my mind, don't be like Daddy, Riley," Topanga told her daughter. "Daddy's crazy."
"I've got to find him," Cory said. "I can't believe he's trying to run off on me again. It’s like he doesn’t know me at all, does he really think I won't hunt him down?”
The phone rang before Cory could get his shoes on, and he dove for it, sending everything else on the side table to the floor. "Shawn? Shawnie? Shawn, is it you? Where are you? Shawn!"
"Hey, Cory," Shawn answered wryly.
"Don't you ‘hey, Cory’ me, mister!" Cory cried. "Where are you?"
"I think it's best I don't tell you until after I'm safely across the state line," Shawn said.
"Oh, my sweet innocent Shawnie, that's adorable. If you think I wouldn't track you down if you were on the freaking moon, you haven't been paying attention!"
"You need to be with Riley," Shawn said.
"Yeah, yeah I do, but now I've got to come looking for you instead," Cory said. "Topanga knows what she married into."
"Sadly, this is true," Topanga agreed. "You can have a day."
"Ha, joke's on you, I only need half that!" Cory said.
"I'm not coming back this time," Shawn said, his voice low and serious.
"You always come back," Cory insisted.
"Not this time," Shawn said. "I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye in person, Cory, but how many times have I failed at that? And I can't let you stop me this time."
"Well I can't let you not let me stop you, so tell me where you are," Cory said
"I'm sorry," Shawn said again. "I'll call again as soon as I know what I'm doing next."
"No, you'll call me now, and tell me--Shawn? Hello? Shawnie?" Cory pulled the phone away looking stricken. "I think he hung up on me. Shawn never hangs up on me. We have to say goodbye at least three times before we hang up."
"You know, Cory, you could just--" Topanga started.
"Not now, wife! My Shawn is missing!" Cory cried, as he ran frantically towards their bedroom.
Topanga rolled her eyes, and reached over to pick up the phone and dial star sixty-nine.
"Thanks for calling the Grant Street Holiday Inn, how can I help you?"
"Hi, I'm trying to call my husband,” Topanga lied easily, “but I think I have the wrong room. He told me he's in room seven. Shawn Hunter."
"Hunter? Oh here we go. Well here's the issue, he's in room thirty-six, not seven!"
"Oh, I guess I've still got baby brain," Topanga said, mock-cheerful, "thanks for the help!"
Cory came tumbling out of their room, nearly falling flat on his face as he tried to put on his coat and his left shoe at the same time. "Thinks he can get away from me," he was mumbling, "I'll search every motel room in new York, nay, the world!"
"He's at the Grant Street Holiday Inn, room thirty-six," Topanga told him.
"Oh thank God, because I have no idea what I'm doing," Cory said, pressing a hand to his heart in relief. “I’ll be back by morning! Shouldn’t take long to wrangle him, never does.”
Topanga just sighed, worried that this time that wasn’t going to happen. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”
"Oh, right,” Cory said, spinning around and running back towards her. He leaned forward to place a kiss on Riley’s head. “Daddy will be back soon.”
"Hey!” Topanga shouted, as he spun and turned back towards the door.
Cory nearly tripped spinning around again to run back. He leaned forward and kissed Topanga passionately. “You are the best wife, you know that?”
“Of course I am,” Topanga grumbled. “Who else would put up with a live in mistress?”
"You know Shawn doesn’t like when you call him that!” Cory said, finishing zipping up as jacket and almost walking into the door. He stumbled back again, opened it, and then went racing out.
Topanga looked down at Riley, who stared back at her with her with what could either be a small smile or gas. “Your daddy isn’t going to be home by morning, is he?” she sighed.
What she didn’t say out loud was that she worried Shawn wouldn’t be home at all.
This time felt different, and Riley had changed everything. She had changed all of them, just by being, and things would only continue to change.
And as much as her heart ached, as much as she was going to miss Shawn—she suspected he was doing the right thing. She could only hope that Cory would come to see it that way too.