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“This is the Master we’re reporting catastrophic failures to the engine system… We need backup immediately… the Daleks are within range but they have not spotted us…”
Sitting on one of the chairs that surrounded the console the doctor sat frowning. He fluffed his hair before getting up and pacing the console for yet another time. His jacket had been cast aside and his bowtie was completely unraveled.
“Play it again.” He croaked pulling his hands through his hair yet again. The TARDIS hummed slightly in response. “I don’t care. Play it again.” He looked over to an unopened bottle of whiskey that sat invitingly on a seat near him.
The TARDIS hummed again more firmly this time and put away the distress beacon. It had been placed somewhere in the TARDIS’s unknowable depths where the Doctor couldn’t easily find it.
“Please just play it. I just want to hear him again. Is that such an awful wish.” The Doctor begged, his lips quivering. His throat began to strangle him as he suppressed his rising emotions.
The TARDIS let out another softer more consoling hum but did not release the distress module. The lights did shift into a dark orange that was strangely similar to the sands of Gallifrey where he and his oldest friend used to wander as children.
“Just one more time then I’ll stop. I promise.” He pleaded sitting down on the floor. He curled up in himself
, his arms wrapped around his legs in a futile attempt to hide from the futility of his exercise.
The TARDIS hummed a reprimand secretly removing the still undrunk bottle of whiskey. It was best not to add alcohol to the Doctor’s dissolving mental stability.
“Yes I know I’ve said that before but this time I mean it and even if I don’t it's MY ship and MY beacon.” He said recovering some of his previously discarded dignity.
The TARDIS hummed aggressively. The sound was such that any outsider would have thought she had sprung a leak. Her lights flashed on and off which would further confuse any outsider.
“Okay, I’m sorry. Please just play it. It’s like having him back again if just for a few seconds.” He croaked as his eyes teared up.
“This is the Master we’re reporting catastrophic failures to the engine system… We need backup immediately… the Daleks are within range but they have not spotted us…” The box croaked again interspersed with a series of hisses and alarms.
“I miss you too, Kos.” The Doctor murmured as he began to sob. “You’d love to see me like this wouldn’t you. Over you.” He reached up for his bottle but only found air. He just retracted his hand and let the rising waves of grief overwhelm and embrace him like a lover.
A comforting hum resonated from the TARDIS. The lights dimmed allowing the Doctor the dignity of not knowing how he looked at that moment.
“You think so. Maybe you're right. I hope so.” He choked back another sob. “I hope he knew how I felt about him and that nothing he did could change that.” He gave himself fully after that into that strange lover grief only emerging some days later when he had recomposed himself fully to take the Pond’s on another strange adventure.