Work Text:
Pearl grasped desperately at her neck. The cold, hard steel like a burning collar cutting into her delicate form. The more she pulled, the harder they pulled back. Giant, looming figures flanked Pearl, each holding a length of chain attached to her choker. Maniacal laughter filled the air as Pearl choked and struggled, gasping for the air she knew she didn't need. Tears ran down her cheeks. "Please. No. I'll obey you. Please stop. Pink. Rose. No."
"Pearl!" Garnet gasped, as she jumped off the warp pad. "Pearl, wake up. Wake up." She knelt beside her dreaming friend, shaking her gently.
Pearls eyes snapped open, the blue projections stopping abruptly. "I-I- I wasn't dreaming!" Pearl stuttered out, a blush creeping across her cheeks.
"Shhh, it's ok. I'm here. Want to tell me what that 'not dream' was then?" Garnet wiped a tear from Pearl's face with her thumb. She rose slowly, bringing Pearl into her arms and settling together on the couch.
Pearl pressed her face into Garmets strong shoulder and wrapped her arms around her. "Sometimes I like to sleep when no one is home. Usually, I just relive the happy moments of my life. I get to see Rose again. But sometimes....." She trailed off, trying to stop another wave of tears.
"Shhh, its ok, Pearl. I'm here. You're safe." Garnet pressed a kiss into Pearl's hair, rubbing soothing circles against her back.
"Sometimes it's not just memories. Well, they are, but they're different. More like feelings given a physical form. This time, I was being choked by a metal collar. Pink was holding onto one end of it and Rose the other. They were pulling it, choking me, laughing. All I could hear was her laughter. A sound that would normally fill me with joy. But this was dread. Fear. I had no control. I couldn't breathe. I know I don't need to breathe but it felt like I did. It felt like I was going to die. As if one more tug from her and I would...shatter." Pearl barely managed to whisper that last word before another sob raked through her frail body. Garnet pulled her in closer but loosened her grip, giving Pearl a sense of freedom, not restriction.
"I'm sorry, Pearl. I'm here. You're safe. No one can hurt you now." The two stayed there for a few more moments, the tears drying and bodies relaxing.
"Thank you, Garnet. I just- sometimes when I think about Rose and Pink I remember who I am. Who I truly am. I was built to serve her. I was under her control. If she told me to do something, I would. I had no choice. I had no freedom. That changed some with Rose but I still felt the same sense of dedication. I still couldn't say no, even though I didn't want to say no. She never abused that. She never ordered me to do anything as Rose. But if she asked, I couldn't say no. I can look back at my time with her and think about the good things and the love we had but I can't help but think of darkness too. I wonder if I ever really was in love with her or if it was just because of who I am. Sometimes, I wonder if I'll ever be able to know what love truly is or if I'll just go from one obsession to another." Pearl sighed, the weight of her worries heavy on her chest.
Garnet shifted, pushing Pearl's head from her shoulder and tilting her face to look into her eyes. She fazed away her visor, all 3 eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Pearl, listen to me. You do know what love is. You love me. You love Amethyst. You love fiercely with compassion and understanding. You love us and will fight for us. You'd give your own life for ours. That doesn't make you weak, or unloving. And it's not because you were designed that way. You love us like that because you want to. You are who you are because you want to be. And you have the power to change. You are in control. This is your life, Pearl. You decide who you want to be. And whoever that is, I'll still love her. I'll still love you."
A blue blush spread across Pearl's face. Her gem began to glow brightly and then her body. Garnet, too. What was once two separate beings became one.
"I love you." Sardonyx whispered into the empty room. She felt safe. She felt whole. She felt loved. And she was in control.