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John, 16:22 : Therefore, you too, have greif now, but I will see you again, and your heart will rejoice. And no-one can take that joy away from you.
Steve was pretty excited, to say the least. After the so-called ‘Civil War’ the team had never really got the chance to be a team. He was glad he’d moved into the tower with the others, and made amends with ‘Team Iron Man’ (despite the misunderstanding on the very first day).
But today, on August 16th, they started doing something they always used to do back in the day. Steve called it ‘Team Bonding’, while Clint just called it ‘An excuse to get shit-faced’. They’d go to a bar and drink, talk, have a good time.
They had all agreed that it would be a great idea, except Tony refused to come. He declined politely, then went back to his lab, where he’d been spending the whole day. Now that the soldier thought about it, he hadn’t seen much of any members of the ‘Ironfam’, as Wanda called it. Pepper, Tony, Rhodey and Bruce had all been mysteriously absent all day. Rhodey and Bruce were coming with them, but Steve noticed that they were more quiet, (causing him to worry, Bruce had always been kind of soft-spoken) and saw the solemn glances they snuck each other when they thought no one was watching.
Steve was worried, but decided to let it go. They’d come to someone for help if they needed to, right? Besides, he was determined to have a good night with everyone.
They walked into the building. It wasn’t that busy, which he was thankful for, but sports games were buzzing on the TV and music was blasting, kind of hurting his ears. Everyone sat down, Rhodey getting up to order everyone’s drinks. Steve chose a Braksbeer Bitter, it was a beer with a low-alcohol count, so he could still be a functional human being (as opposed to Clint, who ordered straight whiskey).
They were only there an hour when Steve’s and Rhodey’s phone went off at the same time. The Captain took out his phone; it was a message from Friday.
“Captain Rogers, Colonel Rhodes, Mr. Stark is in need of your assistance. He has multiple lacerations on both his forearms, and seems to be experiencing a panic attack.”
Steve looked at Rhodey, who was staring at him.
“We have to go, Tony’s in trouble.”
All of them looked at him, Bruce being the fastest. The scientist flicked his gaze from him, to Rhodey and back again.
“I knew leaving him alone was a bad idea,” Rhodey muttered, pulling out a few hundreds to pay the bill, and he ran to the Range Rover they came in, Steve following suit.
The drive was quick, the bar was only a few minutes from the tower, but to Steve, it felt like an eternity. What had triggered this? He knew Tony was struggling with the death of that boy – uh, Peter – but why today?
When they got to the tower, they sprinted into the lobby and the elevator. Friday moved said elevator, Steve suspected she was taking them to Tony.
When the elevators opened, Steve recognized the floor as the workshop floor. He’d only been down here a handful of times, but he knew the geniuses lab was down here. Rhodey led them to the lab, tapping in the code. Of course he had access.
The doors opened, Steve and Rhodey walking in. Bruce told everyone else to stay outside as to not overwhelm their friends.
“Tones?”
They shuffled through the junk, tables and suits, and found…
Tony.
The man’s body was curled in on itself, laying on the floor. His back was turned to them, arms curled in his chest, but Steve could see the puddle of blood forming around the man’s too-skinny body. It was clear the man hadn’t eaten – or probably slept, for that matter – in a while.
“Tony?”
The man sniffed, and turned on his side to look at the two.
He looked awful. The black bags around his eyes were a stark contrast to his gaunt face.
Steve snapped put of his trance-like state, and immediately grabbed a first aid kit that was nearby.
He gestured for Tony to give him his arm, and the man complied. Thanks to his military training, Steve had a basic background in first aid, enough to keep people from dying.
In this time, Rhodey had seemed to snap out of his own trance, and realized the gravity of the situation.
“Okay, we can fix this, we can-“
“YOU CANT FIX ME!” the Billionaire yelled, ripping his arms away from Cap as fresh tears escaped his eyes.
“You cant fix me,” he repeated, softer.
“Tony, why did you hurt yourself?”
“Just wanted to feel something.”
Steve sucked in a breath. “You can’t do this, Tony. It’ll do more harm than good.”
“You don’t think I know that? I just wanted to-to see him again.” He’d started sobbing again.
“See who?”
“My little boy. Peter. It’s his birthday today.”
“I’m sorry for leaving you,” Rhodey said after a while, “It’s a hard day for all of us, Steve, all of us who knew him. But for Tony…”
“It was different. He wasn’t m’ son but, he was, he was my kid. And I failed him.”
“Tones, you didn’t fail him. He loved you, and May, and Pepper and Happy and I with every fiber of his being. He was filled with love, and he would’ve loved his baby sister.”
“T-then why? Why’d he leave me?”
“You knew how he was Tony. After his parents, and then Ben… His mental state wasn’t the best. You know what disorders he had, we did what we could to help him. But it’s not yours, or his fault he decided to stop fighting.”
Steve nodded. “I didn’t know Peter, but I’m sure he was lovely. And he wouldn’t want you hurting yourself over guilt from his actions. I’m not saying its his fault,” Steve was quick to reassure when Tony glared at him, “But he wouldn’t want you to do this to yourself.”
Tony nodded. “C-can you help me up? I think I need to go to the medbay.”
As a response, both Steve and Rhodey helped him up.
“Steve?” Tony said, unsure, as he was leaving. The soldier turned to the mechanic, “You would’ve loved him. And thank you.”
Steve was left, by himself, in the workshop after Tony and Rhodey left.
“I’m sure I would have.”