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Troy, Abed, and Annie were sitting around their kitchen table, texting their friend Britta pretending to be her carnival worker ex-boyfriend. They were currently trying to get Britta to stop texting him, all of their attempts so far only having made things worse.
“I figured it out. I know exactly what to do. I'm just gonna be really, really, really mean to her,” Annie said proudly.
“Uh, what don't you get about the concept? Britta likes guys who are mean to her. She doesn't like herself,” Troy countered.
Annie was taken aback for a moment, pausing to consider. “I…I guess you're right. No matter how rude we've been, she won't stop texting.”
“Mhm.”
“So…what should we do?”
“Send her something nice. Here, give me the phone,” Troy prompted.
“No, no, I got it,” Annie insisted, waving her hand. She looked down to her keyboard and let out a little sigh before starting to type frenetically. Abed leaned over to try and see what she was typing, but was pushed away gently. He and Troy exchanged a confused look across the table as Annie forcefully pressed the send button.
“And done! I'm sure this won't wo-”
The door behind the trio clicked open and Britta emerged. “Hi.”
Annie’s jaw dropped, but she quickly recovered from her shock and turned around to face her friend. “What's up?” she squeaked.
“You guys still watching movies?”
Annie gave her a small smile, then turned to look to her roommates for advice. Troy and Abed both averted their gaze downward.
“Hi Dean, why are you here?” Britta asked, looking over and noticing the man sitting in a chair away from the table.
“Hi, Britta. And ouch!” he replied, sounding deeply offended.
“Yes, we’re still watching movies. Want to join us?” Annie cut in cheerfully.
Britta nodded, prompting the trio to get up from the table. Troy and Abed happily settled back down in front of the TV and resumed playing Blade. However, Annie stayed back for a moment to calm herself.
“Hey, is everything okay?” Britta asked quietly, placing a hand on Annie’s arm.
“Hm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine! Everything's fine,” the brunette replied with an over the top smile and laugh.
The older woman gave her a suspicious look, but nodded slowly. “Alright. Do you really want to keep watching the movie or…?
“Oh, yeah! I'll be right over.”
Britta smiled back and made her way over to her chair in front of the television. Annie took a deep breath once she was alone and looked idly down to the phone in her hand, reading over the last message she had sent. The one that brought Britta out of her crazed, Blade-obsessed state. She finished reading and sighed in frustration, shoving her phone in her pocket before rejoining the group.
The five sat watching the vampire hunter movie in relative silence for a few minutes. Troy, Abed, and Britta were engrossed in the movie, the Dean looked as if he were constantly on the verge of saying something, and Annie was lost in thought.
“What kind of person would stop being interested in someone if they said what I said to her? That's absurd, right? I've waited my whole life to hear those words from someone. But it's what causes her to snap out of her Blade daze?! That isn't fair. I try so hard, and-”
“You know, this is a really good movie. I'm glad that I'm here and not at the carnival with Blade. He's way lamer than you guys,” Britta said unprompted.
Annie snapped. “What is wrong with you!?”
“Huh?” the blonde gave her a confused look.
“We know you tried to talk to Blade. You weren't texting him, you were texting us. I switched Blade’s number in your phone to mine.
Troy looked back to his friends out of curiosity, while Abed only turned up the TV volume a few notches.
“You tricked me?” Britta exclaimed.
“You tricked me! You ask for my help, you tell me I’m your sister, I do everything I can to make you hate this turd, and the first nice thing he says, and you're over him? Who hurt you? And why didn't it stick?”
“I was texting with you guys this whole time?” she asked, appalled. She stopped and thought for a moment. “So Blade isn't a loser!”
“Why on earth would a message that nice make you think he was a loser?!” Annie yelled.
The room fell silent, the only noise coming from the TV.
“Hey, I'm really sorry, but if you're going to continue this conversation, could you do it in Annie’s room? I'm trying to watch Blade,” Abed asked politely.
Annie huffed. “Sure. Whatever. I'm going to my room. Britta, you don't have to follow,” she said, feeling hurt. She stood up and marched the short distance to her doorway. Britta surprisingly followed close behind.
“Toodle-loo. You know, Troy, you should really consider joining the air conditioning repair school,” the Dean said.
“Nope,” was all the girls heard of his reply before her door was clicked shut.
“So…what's up, Annie?”
“What's up? I don't know, Britta. Maybe it's the fact that I tell you that you're more amazing than you or anyone else gives you credit for and that you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met and your response is to lose all interest?!” the younger woman exclaimed.
Both Britta and Annie were stunned, Britta at what seemed to be a confession and Annie at the fact that it had come out of her mouth.
“I didn't mean it like that! Like, me as Blade said all of those things. Not that I don't mean them. But it wasn't ‘me’ me that said them. It was ‘Blade’ me,” the words tumbled out faster than she could process them.
“Oh. No, I get it. Um…you see, I like a certain type of guy. The type that doesn't treat me well,” the blonde started explaining.
“Troy was right,” Annie grumbled.
Britta gave a confused look, but continued speaking. “I'm not used to my romantic partners treating me well because I'm not used to treating myself well. I know that might not make a lot of sense and that you don't have a ton of experience, but-”
“You're right, it doesn't make a lot of sense. I don't understand how you could see someone who thinks that highly of you as lame,” her friend responded, clearly upset.
Britta bit her lip. She started to connect some of the dots staring her in the face. “I didn't really mean that. I just couldn't imagine Blade saying anything like that to me.”
“You did mean it. And that's okay! You're jaded and clearly don't believe that you deserve happiness. I get it now. I might not have as much life experience as you, but I have more than you think I do,” Annie said bitterly.
“Look, I'm sorry if I hurt you when I accidentally implied that you were a loser. Coming from a friend, those words are nice to hear,” Britta apologized. She gave Annie a gentle smile.
“Thanks.”
“You still seem upset.”
“I don't know. It's just…I've waited my whole life to hear something like that from someone I was interested in. It's confusing to me that you wouldn't want to hear it,” Annie elaborated.
“I already told you, it's just the type of guy I like.”
“Sure, whatever. Let's just go back and watch Blade,” the brunette relented, sounding exhausted.
“Are you sure you want to? We can stay in here, play some more cards,” Britta suggested.
“I'm positive,” Annie said coldly. She pushed her door open and stormed back to her chair with Britta following closely behind. Annie noticed that the Dean’s seat was unoccupied and his bag missing, presumably because he left after his failed attempt at recruiting Troy.
“Oh, Britta, you're back. Did Annie tell you how she felt?” Abed asked without turning away from the TV.
Britta stopped just before she sat down. “How…how she felt?”
“What are you talking about Abed?” Annie asked, flabbergasted.
He picked up the remote to pause the movie before turning around to face his friends. “Oh, you’re here too. Well, for starters, Troy offered to type the nice message from Blade, but you insisted on being the one to do it. I tried to look at what you were typing, but you pushed me away. You were so sure that it wouldn't work that you were visibly surprised when Britta came out of her room and stopped texting. Then, you got upset when she got excited about Blade being “not a loser” because you were the one to send the texts, so that meant that Britta was calling you a loser. Anyone could deduce that all of those facts combined mean that you have romantic feelings for Britta,” Abed explained.
The group froze in place, Annie staring at Abed in shock, Britta staring at Annie in confusion, Abed looking to Troy for help, and Troy purposefully looking away from everyone.
“I…I think you’re working off incomplete data, Abed,” Annie said indignantly.
“You know that I know enough about the whole study group to constantly run possible scenarios with all of you, both in my head and in the Dreamatorium. Annie x Britta isn’t common, but it isn’t uncommon either,” he countered.
The brunette continued gaping at him, unsure of what to say.
“Abed, maybe Annie and I should continue this conversation alone,” Britta interjected.
Annie didn’t like the idea of staying in the living room or having a private discussion with Britta, so she impulsively chose a third option; bolting for the door and running as fast as her legs would carry her.
“Wait, Annie!”
“Where are you going?”
“Annie!”
She ran down the hallway and turned the corner, ignoring her friends’ calls. She intended to get to the elevator and go outside, but ran headfirst into Jeff first.
“Hey, hey, where’s the fire?” he asked jokingly as Annie jumped back in surprise.
“Nowhere. There’s no fire. I just need to get-”
“Annie! Annie, come back!” Britta called from down the hallway, running after her.
“Please, Jeff, I just need to get to the elevator,” she pleaded, trying to push past him. He held up a hand to stop her and blocked her way.
“Is Britta trying to get her phone from you? Just give it to me, she won’t suspect that I have it,” he said.
“No, we’re past that. I can’t explain right now, just please let me go!” Annie exclaimed.
Jeff gave a confused look right as Britta caught up to them.
“Annie! Please, can we just- oh, hey, Jeff,” she said.
“Hi. Can someone explain what’s happening here?” he asked.
“We’ve kinda got something we need to talk about. You should go see Troy and Abed in the apartment,” Britta suggested.
“Or we could all go back to the apartment right now!” Annie said with over-the-top cheer.
“Nah, I’ll leave you to it. I’ll get Abed to fill me in on what’s going on,” Jeff said, pushing past Annie and exchanging a look with Britta before continuing on down the hallway.
Annie looked at Britta like a deer in the headlights as the blonde approached her.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
“Obviously. That’s why my fight-or-flight response kicked in and I chose the latter,” Annie snipped, crossing her arms.
Britta smiled softly. “Sorry, that was a dumb question.”
“Mhm.”
“So, um…”
“You want to know if Abed was right, right?” Annie asked defensively.
Britta swallowed. “Yeah. You don’t have to answer if you’re not ready to, though,” she said.
“I think he may be right. I might have some…certain feelings for you,” Annie said cautiously. She surprised herself by saying the words out loud.
“Oh.”
“I know this might make things awkward, but I’m nothing if not professional,” she started diplomatically.
“Well, I don’t not have certain feelings for you. I’ve never properly tried anything with a girl, but maybe I need to try something different. Something with someone who is…sweet. And actually a good person,” Britta interjected.
“Oh.” Annie stared at the other woman for a moment, unsure of if this was just a fantasy or real life, “So even though Blade’s not a loser, you don’t want to go see him anymore?” she asked sarcastically.
Britta dismissed the question with a wave of her hand. “He is a loser, but it’s because he’s a 30-something year old man working at the same carnival he was employed at when he was 19. I lose sight of that whenever I hear that he’s back in town,” she said.
“What made you gain sight of that?”
“This one pretty amazing friend of mine.”
Annie cracked a smile. “You know, I’ve never properly tried anything with a girl, either. Maybe we could figure it out together?” she suggested slyly.
Britta smiled back. “Of course. Wanna go back and finish Blade?” she asked, extending a hand for the other girl to take.
Annie nodded and laced their fingers together. “Sure.”
Right as they were about to begin their walk back down the hallway, Pierce came out of nowhere, barreling past them.
“Oh, Annie! I’m so glad to see you! Here, you need to take my phone. Whatever you do, don’t let me call Chang. I’m gonna go lock myself in your room,” he said, shoving his phone into Annie’s free hand.
She opened her mouth to protest, but he was already scurrying off.
Britta laughed. “Never a dull moment with our friends, is there?”
“No, not a single one.”