Archive of Our Own

"I'm no one special, just another wide-eyed girl,

who's desperately in love with you"

~Superstar, Taylor Swift

I'd always known you. I'm not sure you did though, but our rooms were next to each other, back when we were younger. I remember you'd wear that cold smile on your pale face and I would smile back at you, hoping you'd smile a real smile back. You never did, but I never stopped smiling at you either. I always had the feeling that you didn't really see me whenever I looked at you. But there was nothing to see anyway. However, deep down, I really wanted you to.

I've always been drawn to you. Back then, it didn't matter. I didn't mind whether or not anyone knew. All I wanted was to recklessly act upon what I felt. But now, having feelings for you is unthinkable. It's off-limits for me to even look your way. You don't acknowledge my existence at all. But that's okay, it's what it should be. Even if I've grown to love that cold smile of yours, or if I've fallen in love with your calculating nature, or if I've become infatuated with your manipulative schemes, it's still alright. After all, I've always been invisible, so, eventually, I've become accustomed to the way nature works.

It's only natural that the captain of Diamond Dust, a master-rank team, won't look my way. Just like how the North Pole is at the top of the world, while the South Pole is right at the bottom. Both forever apart.

"Comet!"

I received the ball and ran up towards the opposite field. I dribbled my way up, dodging whoever got in way. I looked straight ahead and saw that Reize was unmarked and had clear way to shoot.

"Captain!" I shouted, passing the ball to him.

He received it with ease. He turned towards the goal and used his hissatsu shoot.

"Astro Break!"

The goalkeeper was unable to stop his powerful shot. The ball went in.

That had been a goal! Well, only if it had been a real match and not just team practice. Unfortunately, during real matches we were barely able to get close to the goal, much less to score. Gemini Storm would always be a second-rank team, below all the others. No matter how hard we trained, there always were stronger teams. But now, we had been assigned a mission despite our weak abilities. There was no time to doubt ourselves. We had to focus on our mission, on success.

"That's all for today, you are all dismissed" said Reize.

We were all tired and sweating. We picked up our waterbottles and towels from the bench, making our way to the changing rooms. I followed the rest of the team, being the last one to leave the pitch. I turned my head back and glanced at the other door. I saw Diamond Dust lining up to enter the facility, his captain standing tall, at the front. I searched for his eyes as quickly as I could, spending a second more than I should, glancing at them. As usual, his stare is icy, stern and focused. Gazel always seemed to be focused on something so abstract no one could guess what it was. Overall, his eyes were ice-like beautiful and mysterious.

Just as I started turning my head forward, against all odds, those crystal-like irises shifted their focus onto my own shy ones. I almost froze up. I wanted that moment to last forever, but I was already looking straight ahead and exiting the pitch.

I went into the female changing room with my heart beating impossibly fast. As I stormed in, my teammates, Pandora and Riimu, gave me an annoyed look. I quickly undressed and hit the shower. I let the water run cold down my entire body. I always showered with cold water because, not only is it good for your hair, but also I loved the feeling of my body becoming numb, as my body temperature gradually lowered itself. I also had a passion for eternally long showers. I could not live without long showers.

Once I had finished, which was roughly an hour later, I reached for a towel and started drying my body. I had to hurry up before Diamond Dust ended their practise and the girls on their team came to take a shower themselves. I stepped out of the shower tray with the towel wrapped around my body. I reached for the new set of clothes I had left ready on the bench, until I realised they were gone... They were gone! But that was impossible! I had left it all ready before getting in the shower. I had made sure to leave it all prepared so I didn't have to rush all wet to the lockers in the room.

I internally screamed and pulled my hair.

I inhaled slowly and went to my locker to check for spare clothes. Very unluckily, the locker wouldn't open. No matter hay many times I did the combination, the door stayed firmly locked. Someone had changed the combination, I was sure. Probably the same person who had taken my clothes. Although I was beginning to be suspicious of two people instead. Desperately, I banged on the locker and hit the lock with my elbow to no avail. It wasn't opening and it wouldn't open.

Pandora and Riimu were so dead. I was going to kill them once I saw them. I knew they didn't quite like me. I think it's because they found me too weird. I've seen them glaring at me whenever I space out during class or during practice. They probably thought it'd be funny to leave me with no clothes, so that I had to run naked to the dorms. But this is going too far, albeit I would've found it funny if it wasn't me who was in this situation, to be honest.

Shit, it dawned on me that there was nothing else I could do aside from discretely running down the corridors until I reached the female dorm wing. Nervously, I walked to the mirror placed above the sinks and studied my appearance. Damn it, I looked like a fucking mess. I combed my hair with my fingers as best as I could and wrapped the towel nice and tightly around myself. I secured it making a knot with the ends, and tying it with a hairband I had around my wrist. Still, I held the top with my right hand to make sure it wouldn't fall down or flash any unwanted parts of my body.

God, if word got out, not only would it be humiliating for me, but for the team and Reize... We had just been given an important mission, I couldn't fuck up now everyone held some sort of respect for us... But then again, it's not my fault, it's not like I wanted to walk through the academy naked, nor do I want to be seen like this. Fuck, I didn't even have shoes, I was going to have to walk barefoot down the hall. Once I was fully clothed I was definitely going to go off at my so-called teammates.

I opened the door and had a peek to make sure no one was around. I walked out and made my way silently towards the door that connected to the training facilities. I was praying for everyone to be focused on their training and no one was wandering the corridor. Thank God the glass on the walls of the training grounds weren't see-through.

I contemplated the idea of checking Diamond Dust's training session, but I realised what an awful idea it was once I remembered the only thing I was wearing was a towel. I kept on walking getting lost in my thoughts, and it wasn't until I bumped into someone, that I noticed the teams were already finishing their training routines. He was coming out of the equipment storage room, hence the fact that we hadn't been able to see each other coming. But what I didn't see coming was that the person who would catch me, wet, naked, around the school would be none other than Gazel. Gazel!. Things just couldn't get worse. I was just hoping I'd already hit rock bottom, I couldn't possibly go lower.

Putting aside the fact that I'd had a thing for him since I was 8 years old, he was one of my captain's haunting nightmares. Gazel was a master-rank team captain, while Reize was just a second-rank captain. Every single captain who was above him in this sort of a "social ladder" would always belittle him and pick on him. Let's be honest, I kind of pitied my captain, but, at the same time, I feel a sense of respect towards him. Even though the others always bully him, he had always stuck up for Gemini Storm, for us, and not once has he ever complained. Therefore, the fact that I had just bumped into Gazel on training grounds, only-wearing-a-towel kind of naked and shower-wet, told me that I had just made things harder for my poor captain.

As soon as his eyes met mine, which were as wide as saucers, I looked down. I didn't dare to look him in the eye. Well, I never dared in normal conditions, thus I was scared shit to meet his icy glare. I felt his eyes trail down my body, realising I had bumped into him and processing the fact that I wasn't wearing clothes.

I should've run, but I froze on the spot under his unreadable stare. As seconds passed by, I felt like I had to say something to break the ice, although this was embarrassing beyond saving.

Awkward as fuck.

"I-I-I'm sorr-r-rr-y." God, I'm so pathetic. Blame it on my shivering from the cold.

I expected him to push me aside or to make a distasteful sound, but instead the only thing I got in return was ice-cold silence. He probably hadn't even heard me. Well, this was my opportunity to escape, so I quickly tried to excuse myself.

"If y-you'll e-excuse m-me, I-I-"

"What are you doing?"

I felt my heart stop. His voice was quiet but it was as if it resonated through the whole corridor. His voice was cool and poised, unfeeling even. It was so mesmerizing it was impossible not look up upon hearing his glacial voice, so I looked up. I met his intense stare and, immediately, I started panicking. I hadn't expected him to actually talk, what was I supposed to answer?

"Aren't you going to answer to your superior?"

I couldn't breathe. "I-"

Voices.

There were voices coming from the training rooms. Practice was over and everyone was going to the changing rooms. Everyone was going to see me like this! What's worse, I was going to be seen nude in front of Diamond Dust's captain.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

This was definitely getting worse by seconds.

My eyeballs nearly popped out of their sockets and I desperately tried to breathe, unlike a few seconds ago, when I was unable to. But as chaos broke loose in my mind, I felt a delicate hold on my waist pushing me into the storage room. Everything happened so quickly. I was still hyperventilating from the fear of getting caught, when I found myself between the door and Gazel's collected stare.

I looked around trying to take in what had happened. I started calming down and regaining my breath, until my eyes stopped at something that made me tense up again. Gazel's hand was still holding my waist gently. He probably hadn't even noticed he was still touching me. Well, technically he was touching a towel. But he probably felt the muscles of my waist clench taut. Then, he saw why I had stopped breathing all of a sudden, turning to where my eyes had fixed themselves on. He immediately removed his hand and placed it on my naked shoulder, trying to touch a less intimate area.

His snow-like skin, soft and cool, was touching my uncovered warm skin. Even though I was already feeling cold, I felt the cool feeling of his hand spread through my body. As strange as it may sound, I didn't feel cold anymore. However, despite the shoulder not being an intimate place to touch, the fact that it was his soft hand against my bare skin, I shivered at the pleasant feeling. My shiver made him take off his hand, deciding it was better not to touch me at all, unluckily for me.

Now that he wasn't touching me, my heart was able to beat a bit more steadily, bringing myself to breathe carefully. I nervously looked up, slowly, fearful of what I might see. I couldn't stop shaking until I met his piercing teal eyes. His gaze was always stern and composed, ever-serene. But, on the other hand, his stare was very intense, penetrating, it was the kind that could look right through you. His pupils were always focused, I'd never seen him distracted or dazed. Well, those eyes of his I was so in love with and feared them as much at the same time, had managed to make me stop shaking with just one look. Strangely enough, there was a glimmer in his eyes that had put me at ease, that had made me feel calm. I'd never seen eyes as beautiful, they reminded me of snow globes.

I wondered whether, even from this up-close, he was still unable to see me.

"I'm sorry about this whole situation and that you had to see me in this state. I promise this has an explanation. I'm really sorry." I actually had no idea how I had managed through those 3 sentences without stuttering at all. But I was glad I was able to apologize properly.

He stared intently at me. I held his gaze so to make it clear that my apology was genuine.

Seriously, in normal circumstances I would be shitting myself. But it felt very refreshing and nice to be able to speak normally to him. Let's be honest, it made me feel powerful, I felt like I could do anything.

After a long time, he decided to break the silence.

"What's that explanation you're talking about?" he asked softly.

I couldn't get enough of his voice: magnetic and enveloping.

"Um, my teammates took my clothes and changed the combination of my locker, so this was as much coverage as I could manage." This was so embarrassing.

"But that doesn't explain why you were wandering the hallways in nothing but a towel" he said, skeptical, as he narrowed slightly his eyes.

"How does it not? I was trying to get to my room without being seen like this. I just didn't know you were here, so you ended up seeing me, which wasn't my intention at all" I justified. I needed him to believe me, he couldn't tell anyone about this.

"Huh, some good teammates you have there."

Was he trying to make a joke? I cracked a shy smile. Even though he was being ironic, his voice had sounded dead serious. I thought it was cute how "him" it was.

He noticed my small smile. He then stared at me, lasering right into my pupils, trying to read me. I started getting a bit scared under his cold presence, but as I kept looking into his pupils, his eyes pulled me in, drawing me to him. He was captivating in the most platonic way. That's all I could think of while getting lost in his icy irises.

We kept on looking into each other's eyes for seconds, minutes, hours, days. It felt like an eternity. I wasn't able to tell how long it was, but I would've stayed like that forever if only the school bell hadn't rang obnoxiously loud. We quickly averted our gaze in different directions. The magic spell had been broken. Deep down I was grateful, I didn't know how much longer I would've been able to hold on like that.

"Everyone must be back in the dorms by now, no one will see you on your way back" he told me while he looked at the door behind me.

That was my queue to leave. I pushed myself from the door and turned around.

As I turned the handle, I glanced back at him, suddenly halting. "Thank you."

And I left as fast as the speed of light.

Once I got to my room safely, I tossed the towel to the floor and slipped on some warm clothes on. Man, was I cold. As I finished properly combing my hair, I looked at the time and realised dinner was served in 10 minutes. If I didn't leave now, I would be getting nothing to eat, not even leftovers. At Aliea Academy everyone had a very big appetite, especially after noon practice.

When I got to the dinning room 5 minutes before serving, I started looking for friendly and familiar faces. But suddenly, my vision line caught the sight of captain Reize lecturing Pandora and Riimu, who were sat down looking ashamed. I was already assuming what Reize was telling them off for, but I tried to make out some words to make sure.

"Are you out of your minds? I can't believe you would do such a stupid thing to one of your fellow teammates!"

"Captain... It was only a..."

"...a prank, a joke. I'm pretty sure she didn't mind."

"It was very uncalled for. And I'm pretty sure she did mind-"

"She wouldn't, she never complains about anything..." Seriously? Was that the best excuse they'd come up with?

"Don't interrupt me, Pandora. I'm absolutely sure she did mind, considering that I only found out because I was told by someone who had seen her naked around the corridors! Do you have any idea how serious this is?"

"Captain, she was probably covered, it's not that big of a deal-"

"Riimu, it is that big of a deal. Need I remind you that we're now the center of attention? We've been entrusted a very important mission and everyone has their eyes set on us, watching every single move. If this had become the main course of the gossip menu of the week, we would have been the laughingstock of the whole school. Our mission could've been taken away from us. Don't you get it?"

I waited for more excuses from the girls, but I only heard silence.

"Prevention is better than cure. I hope you've learnt your lesson, girls."

"Yes, captain" they said together.

"You should focus on training instead of pulling pranks on others. The devil finds work for idle hands." I rolled my eyes at his love for idioms, but it was true, nevertheless.

"We will, captain."

I was feeling a bit better, I mean, I would've wanted to kill them myself, but a scolding from out team captain was also satisfying. The thing is I wasn't planning on telling Reize about the incident because I was afraid he'd also get mad at me, so who told him? Had more people seen me running around the school in a bath towel? This was extremely embarrassing. But I'd really made sure no one saw me... It couldn't be possible, so the only realistic option is that he went and told the captain. Like I said, so embarrassing.

Upon the realisation, I didn't really know how to feel about it. I guess I felt grateful that he had stuck up for me in his own way, but I was kind of scared he'd tell anyone else. Also, I didn't want to know what Reize must've thought when Gazel, his superior, went to inform him that he had seen me with no clothes on because my teammates had taken them. I was already smelling a demerit.

I spent the whole dinner time looking around, hoping to catch sight of the Diamond Dust captain, but he didn't show up. Our badly-timed encounter had opened my eyes and made me see him in a different light. These past years I'd been so lovestruck by him, I'd been crushing hard on him, but I'd never dared to even meet his gaze. Therefore, I'd only been crushing on the thought, the impression of him, I'd never tried to get to know the real him. But after our little exchange of words, once I'd been able to speak properly with him, I'd realised he was also a person. I'd gotten a taste of his personality, his traits, his identity. This made me even more attracted to him in a way I'd never felt before, in a more private and intimate way. I can say that I'd been captivated by that little taste, and I'd been left longing to savour its flavour in its entirety.

However, the recent events had my head spinning deep in thought. If my conclusions were right, which I was convincing myself to believe were true, and he had really told Reize about the incident, not just about the no-clothes part, but also about the stolen-clothes narrative, I was beginning to believe that I would become infatuated badly.

"Day 1: mission accomplished."

Finally, we were back at the headquarters, or school, however you want to call it. We'd just reported in to a high-tech robot who had declared the mission as successful. I mean, shooting black footballs at schools to destroy them is quite easy, to be honest. However, this Earthling team butted in our business, which was very annoying.

Raimon, was it?

We'd just destroyed their school when they arrived. Those little fools dared to demand that we spare them. Reize, of course, made a demonstration of the power we'd trained so fucking hard to achieve. His "Astro Break" left them all lying on the ground, completely defeated. The funny thing is that they wouldn't give up, they were such a pain in the ass. We'd left to destroy a nearby school and, unexpectedly, that annoying team appeared all of a sudden to challenge us to a match. The nerve. I couldn't understand how crazy these humans were, because we undoubtedly beat them, hard.

We all walked in a straight line towards the assembly hall, where all the other teams and that person would be waiting to welcome us. I still couldn't believe that a low-rank team like ours was getting such a special treatment. But we were the ones who had carried out the 1st mission of our master plan, after all.

We walked in into a round of applause. Even though I wasn't standing first in the line, nor second, nor third, I was probably third to last, I was feeling such a glorifying emotion. It was victory. It was satisfaction. It was triumph.

The feeling of triumph washed over me. When we passed by all the different teams, all higher-ranked, I felt strong enough to look at every single person, as adrenaline rushed through my blood. I wanted to see their reaction to our accomplishment, I expected impressed looks and proud smiles. Instead, disdain and jealousy was all I saw. The adrenaline was able to overpower the anger that was starting to boil in my veins.

We kept on parading across the assembly hall. Suddenly, the air shifted cold and I knew for sure that Diamond Dust was right before us. My heartbeat sped up and a chill went down my spine, making my hair stand on end.

Honestly, I was truly scared. I was terrified of what I would find, of what I would see. I really didn't want to see that hateful look on his face that everyone else was wearing. I was fearful that I would see contempt coming from his cold delicate features.

I tentatively looked towards where the team was sat. Slowly, I skimmed through each and every single face, my heart beating louder and faster inside my chest. Until, all at once, it stopped. My eyes fell on his elegant face. Emotionless, impassive, icy. My heart was back to beating normally, disappointment flooding my stomach. But then, his eyes found mine. His eyes pierced right through me. I could only focus on him. Even though the whole room was clapping, I was helplessly hypnotised. His gaze softened and the corners of his lips slightly lifted into a furtive smile. It wasn't a warm smile, but I can assure you my cheeks were heating up.

I lifted my chin even higher and set my eyes forward with determination and pride. What no one knew was how, in reality, my pulse was all over the place. I could feel my heartbeat going crazy, following no rhythm at all, first speeding up, only for it to suddenly slow down, speeding up again and stopping abruptly. But I held myself with confidence.

His smile had aimed encouragement at me. Or that's what I wanted to believe. And that's exactly what it had done.

It was the first time I had felt confidence, and all thanks to a closed-lipped smile from an ice-cold boy.

I couldn't believe my eyes. How was this even possible? We were the messengers of the stars, we were the aliens chosen by the Aliea stone. Yet we had just lost against this stupid group of insignificant Earthlings.

We had lost. We had been defeated.

I couldn't stop looking at the score board, trying to look for any fault, any mistake, any trick.

What was going to happen to us now? What were we going to do?

As my mind was flooded with endless questions, the whole pitch was covered with black fog and a blinding brightness shone above us. I broke my trance, quickly turning to Reize. My worry couldn't compare to the alarmed state he was in. He was beginning to talk to himself as our fateful end came closer. The colour drained from Reize's face as Desarm's figure became clear.

"Are you prepared for the consequences? We're exiling you." He raised his black football.

"Lord Desarm!" Reize pleaded.

I dreaded the exile, yet I couldn't help but feel sympathy, pity even, for him. Our captain had been the one to work the hardest, he didn't deserve to end up like this. This shouldn't have happened. I didn't really know how to feel, but my heart was breaking at the sight of a devastated and desperate Reize, falling on his knees.

"Captain..." I whispered right next to him, hoping to sound somewhat comforting.

I looked at Epsilon, they all wore smug faces. I remembered the disdain that had welcomed us back from our successful first day of mission. Where they happy now? Was it satisfying? Frustration took over me, but it was already too late, Desarm had just shot the ball towards us. I could feel fear rippling from my teammates and the next thing I knew, we were back at the Aliea base.

I was first to look around, as my fellow teammates were still in shock. The bright light of the teleportation had dazzled me, but as my eyes readjusted to normal light, I noticed the surrounding weren't the usual school grounds. My eyes took in the different cells and the guards approaching us. I gasped loudly. We were in a dungeon!

The security guards escorted every single one of us to a different cell and locked us inside.

I could hear Pandora crying in the cell right next to mine. I could see Reize standing with broken eyes right across from me.

It wasn't until I had sat down in my lonely cage and looked around that it hit me. It started sinking in that we had failed our only purpose in life. We had been given the chance to start over by that person, but we had let him down. He hadn't welcomed us this time, and he was never going to come down to see us. I think that Reize and the others, deep down, hoped that he would come see us and tell us it's alright, that's why they were so wrecked. But I knew better than to wait for him, who would never accept losers like us, failures like us.

For all that I knew, we were probably the butt of the joke of the whole academy.

Surely everyone was happy that we had lost, but in my heart, I secretly and shamefully wished that Gazel felt some sort of compassion for us, for me. Maybe he remembered that encouraging smile he had given me. If he did, I hoped that he were smiling again, feeling sympathy or... perhaps thinking that we did a good job, regardless of the outcome.

Too much of my wishful thinking for the day!

I had to stop dreaming such stupid things because this was where they had got me. It had been impossible from the beginning for a second-rank team to ever achieve anything.

I was hopeless, wasn't I?

It had been 3 days since we were exiled. Overall, it wasn't that bad. Sure, this was a punishment, I mean, we were locked up, but we were being well fed and there was a tiny bathroom in every cell. The conditions weren't all that bad. We were locked in cells, but they didn't look like jail cages at all. The 3 walls inside were thick and painted white. I could see my teammates through a thick glass placed on the upper half of the wall, where bars should've been. There was a small window opening on the glass, probably to let air through, but it also gave us the opportunity to stick our heads out and talk to each other. There was a single bed in the corner and that was all, the rest was empty.

We had exchanged 3 sentences since we got here, roughly. Normally, it was Reize apologising to us. It was almost time for him to say sorry again.

"Guys, I'm-" I heard his weak voice trail off.

"Captain" I called out while lying on the bed.

"I genuinely feel sorr-"

"Captain" I got up and looked out the "window".

"I should've been a better captain-" he kept rambling.

"Captain! Stop apologising!" I yelled at him. He was getting on my nerves, this wasn't his fault. This was the whole team's fault. "We could all have been better, things could've turned out differently, but stop blaming yourself, this isn't a single man's problem, it's a team's problem."

"No, Comet. You guys did your best, that's why I'm going to get you out. I'm going to speak to Father, when he comes see us. He will be len-"

"REIZE, HE'S NOT GOING TO COME!" He raised his head and looked straight at me, completely taken aback. "Don't you see?" I was seconds away from crying.

It took everything in me not to, but I hadn't cried since we had been tossed away like shit. I wasn't going to start sobbing now.

After I had gone off on impulse, all I could hear was silence. I looked at the others and it seemed like my comment had demoralized them and now I felt like a horrible person, but all I'd said was the truth. Still, I felt the need to say something.

"Guys, I'm s-"

"Heh, is this really where exiled teams go? Ha, this looks nicer than their second-rank dorm. This isn't a punishment." I was perplexed. Was that Prominence's captain scoffing?

"Burn, don't be rude. It's not a prison, Father cares about us all, even when they've disappointed him." I couldn't help but laugh bitterly at Gran's, that person's favourite, statement.

"Hey, who are you? What's so funny?" It took me a few seconds to realise Burn was talking to me. Had I laughed out loud? How dumb was I? Shit.

"Me?" I pointed at myself in bewilderment.

"Yeah, you just laughed, didn't you?" he pointed at me, accusingly.

"Burn, don't point at her, it's rude" Gran told him.

"Hey, don't give me orders! She was rude first, she was laughing at us. Who does she think she is? Second-rank rats should know their place" he gave both Gran and me a smug look.

"Calm down, Burn. However, you're right. I'd also like to know why you laughed at what I said" he turned to me with a tight smile.

My stomach started feeling unwell and my legs were trembling. I couldn't have been more stupid. What had I gotten myself into?

"Lord Gran!" Reize called out to him.

God bless you, my dear captain. All of a sudden I felt like kneeling down and praying to him. He was a saviour sent by God to help me, wasn't he?

"Hey, Reize. I'll catch up with you in a minute once I'm done with this small incident" he gave him another fake smile. I swear, that smile could kill a devil.

"I'm sure she didn't mean any-"

"Don't worry, I'm just having a chat with her." This time his smile shut him up.

Damn you, captain. I get that he's your superior, but I'm your responsibility... No, this was my responsibility and I had to handle it myself.

I took a deep breath. "I laughed because you said that Father cares about all of us, but not once has he come to see us since we got here. And he's not planning to." My hands were trembling. I was so nervous. Thank God my voice hadn't faltered right then.

"Well, you don't deserve to ask for his presence after you failed him" he said darkly. I didn't like where this was going. "I think you shoul-"

"Gran." That voice made me freeze on the spot.

Gazel made himself visible, stepping out of the shadows. All eyes were now on him.

"Don't mind her, she can think whatever she wants" he glanced briefly at me. Cold pupils passing me by. "Now do what you came to do, you're wasting my time" he commented uninterested.

The attention was shifted from me to our captain. I could barely hear the conversation, sounding like background noise in my head. Instead my attention focused on the gray-haired captain. He had saved me for the second time. It was surely unintentional. Like he'd said, he was wasting his time. But it'd made me happy that he hadn't made any degrading or insulting comments about me or my team.

My eyes were stuck on him. Trailing from the back of his head, the nape of his head, the length of his back, the muscles of his strong legs, down to his feet. Going back up, following the path I had traced after continuously gawking at him. But this time, once I reached his head, it moved slightly and he showed the profile of his face. He glanced at me, his eyes lingering for a second too long and turned back to Reize.

My heart was out of control, dancing sporadically in my chest.

Everything was dark, except for a faint light that dimly shone from a half-blown light bulb that hung from the ceiling. It was probably past midnight. Everyone was fast asleep. I, on the other hand, couldn't sleep at all. I'd tried to close my eyes and drift away, but once I shut my eyes, the humming of the electricity filled my ears, making it impossible for me to sleep. That's why I'd given up, it's not like I needed energy for anything, the following day would be exactly the same as these 4 days we'd been here.

So, I just sat on the edge of the bed, wide awake.

I was deep in thought when I heard some kind of stealthy shifting outside. I got up and walked to the glass wall and looked at my teammates. They were all asleep, they hadn't even changed their positions since the last time I'd checked on them. I neared the window opening and stuck my head out a bit. I stared intently at the shadows, trying to focus my pupils into the poor lighting in the corridor. My sight caught on a silhouette approaching our exile room.

I was suddenly on edge. While the person was approaching our cell wing, I held my breath. I tried to blend a bit with the shadows because I didn't know whether it was a good idea to let them see me, but I also wanted to watch their every action, so I stayed put.

The mysterious figure was now covered by the nearly-dead light. I was left agape with surprise. The person I expected the least to sneak in here was Gazel. My stomach started feeling queasy with nerves. I wish this feeling would stop, but it was as if my body was programmed to react to the mere thought of his name.

What was he even doing here?

He was soon walking before our cells, when he abruptly stopped right in front of mine. I bit my lip.

I slowly took a step back so that the darkness enveloped me. But, suddenly, Gazel turned his head my way. Shit! As soon as his eyes found mine, my teeth released my lower lip and I froze helplessly.

We stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity, and during that time not once did I dare breathe. I was waiting for him to turn his head away and keep on doing whatever it was he was doing. I was obviously not what he was looking for, I was unimportant. I knew that, but still I hoped...

He stepped closer to my cell without breaking eye-contact. I blinked twice, confused at his actions. He stood right in front of the glass window quietly. I widened my eyes when he motioned for me to come closer with his hand. I hesitantly made my way to the opening on the glass wall, suddenly unable to breathe properly. When do I have to exhale? Am I supposed to hold the air in? Why am I breathing in but no air is reaching my lungs? I was so nervous my legs were trembling and, although it was cold that night, I was just fine a few moments ago.

When I finally reached his standing point, only the glass between us, I heard the most unexpected thing in the world come out of his lips. My name. My real name.

"Come again?" I couldn't help but ask, even though I'd heard it firm and clear. But he only responded with a short, low chuckle, though his face remained emotionless.

"Um, may I ask why you're here, Gazel?" I was careful to address him correctly.

"I may be looking for someone..." he trailed off with aloofness tingeing his voice.

"Who were you looking for, surely I can help you." I averted his gaze, disappointed that he wasn't looking for me. But I was still willing to help him, after all he was my superior.

"Can you?" he asked uninterested. "Well, I'm looking for..." My eyes widened and my lips parted in pure bafflement. Had he said my real name again?

"I-I'm sorry, but I don't know what you me- I don't know who you're looking for." I didn't know why I'd said that. But I was so perplexed I couldn't think straight.

"Huh?" His icy voice sounded annoyed. "Didn't you willingly offer yourself to help me? Are you going back on your word now?"

"Pardon me" I weakly said, swallowing hard.

"I'll give you another chance" he sighed. "I'm trying to find-"

"Excuse me, but I- you're going to get in so much trouble if you keep saying that name out loud" I blurted out to stop him from saying my name again. Where did he get that name from?

He just scoffed at my interruption. "My, you were much less annoying when you were running around naked."

My face flushed beet-red. "In my defence, I was wearing a towel and it wasn't my fault." I looked at his feet, unable to look at his face after that comment. I was so embarrassed. But cold fingertips grazed my chin and lifted my head up. I found myself lost in the peacefulness of his eyes once more. I wished the glass wall wasn't there and that there was a whole door-sized opening, instead of a window.

"I'm looking for you" he whispered, only for us to hear, even though everyone else was asleep and wouldn't be able to hear.

My heart skipped a beat. Well, it felt like it stopped beating for like 10 seconds, only to abruptly start pumping blood like crazy, fast and loud.

"I'm not- I think-" I was unable to speak. "Gosh, uh, I mean no disrespect, but I you're going to get in trouble" I felt obliged to say. "You should go." I was incapable of looking away from his steely gaze.

"Now you're even daring to order me around." His face remained impassive, but his voice was slightly playful.

"I-I wasn- I certainly didn't mean to offend you" I stuttered. "I apologize." I shut my eyes, regretting I ever said anything.

"Why is that?" He let go of my chin.

"I never intended to speak out of turn, but I meant what I said." I opened my eyes wide, looking straight at him. "If high command knows you're here, they will be very angry."

He seemed taken aback by my sudden intensity. "You're really afraid of the higher-ups, aren't you?"

"Pardon?" I wasn't expecting that change on subjects.

"I mean, you're always like this." He looked to one side. "It's as if you're always worried of speaking or acting out of line with anyone who isn't part of your team. It's like you're overly respectful and cautious around anyone who holds a higher rank than you."

"Isn't that only normal?" I automatically said, feeling offended. Realising I had just blurted it out, I tried to soften my tone. "I mean, I'm- It's just like my captain, Reize. I hold respect for the higher-ups and for the hierarchy system."

"Really? I don't think so." His face turned back to me. "Reize holds deep respect for us; whatever we say, he will do for us with no hesitation. You on the other hand..." He bit his lip lightly, in thought. "It's as if you longed to become on of us."

I became distracted with how alluring he looked when he bit his lip, so I didn't notice he was expecting me to answer. "Oh, well, I- it's not that I long for anything. It's just that..." I stopped, unsure to continue.

"That what?" he pressed on.

"We've all known each other since we were really young. We used to play together, we had fun together, we were all equals back then... So it's a bit weird that I can't talk to you- to any of you like I used to. Instead, I have to bow and address all of you like royals. But I've gotten used to it, I've accepted that things have changed and that this is our- my new reality."

He studied my face intently. I held my breath, nervously waiting for him to say something. Otherwise, this would become very awkward.

"You know? I was very surprised when you spoke out in front of Gran's stuck up ass and that stupid clown of Burn earlier today."

"It- it wasn't on purpose. I didn't notice I had laughed out loud" I immediately said sheepishly.

"But... I get what you mean." He placed on of his arms on the glass window, just over the window opening.

I shook my head in confusion.

"I miss being friends with everyone like we were back then. Sometimes I get tired of people shaking in fear every time they speak to me" he sighed, absentmindedly. Until, he came back down to Earth and his eyes focused on me. "Just like you."

I humphed, offended. "You were never friendly to begin with." I immediately regretted it, fearing I'd insulted him.

Instead, he laughed, taking me by surprise. His laughter was feathery and delicate. I was melting. "I guess not. But you were. You were always smiling so brightly... That's what I mean. Where is that smile now?"

I'd got caught up in the ethereal sound of his laughter, that I didn't really think through what I was about to say. "In the first place, I only ever smiled like that at you."

Suddenly, the atmosphere was pure silence. When I realised what I'd just said, my face heated up inevitably. Earth - eat me whole! Gosh, when had I become so blunt? So much for knowing my place and not acting out of line.

"I-"

"I only ever wanted you to smile like that at me." His eyes were a full of something I couldn't quite place. They were intense, yet soft.

I couldn't process what my ears'd just heard. "But you didn't even know I existed until you saw me running down the corridor in nothing but a towel!"

He raised his eyebrow. "Of course I did. How could I not when you were such a loud neighbour?"

"W- You knew?" This was so unexpected for me. "But you never s-"

"I never said anything for the same reason you never did either." He had a point.

"I always thought that you didn't know I existed. I always smiled at you hoping you would too, but you never did. It felt like you looked right through me" I laughed.

"But I did" he looked slightly confused, his face still poised.

"You didn't. You always had this cold curve of your lips plastered on your face. It made me mad. All I wanted was for you to smile properly." I rolled my eyes.

He suddenly looked shy. He ran his fingers through his hair incessantly, a habit he had whenever he was angry or nervous. It was the only thing that would give away his internal thoughts through his composed façade.

"Let's say I had a little problem with smiling back then" he grumbled.

"You still do" I chuckled. My heart was fluttering.

He stopped frenetically combing his hair and looked right at me with a sincere look. "I always tried to smile back, but I want you to keep smiling at me. I'm tired of all of this. You weren't wrong when you told Gran that that person doesn't care about us."

"I knew failing had its consequences, but I'd never thought he'd lock us up." I ignored his first comment to avoid blushing. "I want this to be over as well."

We stayed in silence for a bit. Processing what we'd both revealed to each other. Until he broke the silence.

"I want to be able to call your real name without getting in trouble." I noticed he was trying to keep his face neutral and cool, but I could clearly see his blush creeping up his neck.

I couldn't help but give him the brightest smile. "I'd love that as well, Suzuno."

Something shifted in his eyes at the sound of his real name. He reached through the window and held my shoulder, pulling me towards him. We were now standing face to face, only millimetres apart. I gawked at him, dumbfounded. He just stared back with those cold eyes piercing right into me. His icy breath fanned my face, feeling like frost on my skin, making me shiver. No matter how much I stared at him, I couldn't decipher whatever he was thinking. I was getting anxious. But what gave him away was the moment when his eyes flickered to my lips. My heart sped up instantly. What was he waiting for? Was he asking for permission?

Well, I wasn't one to wait. Gathering all my courage, I stretched my arms out and held both sides of his head, resting my thumbs on his delicate cheekbones. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, not wanting to see his face, and dived in. I leaned in and my lips landed on the corner of his. Silly me, if I closed my eyes, how was I supposed to know where to place my mouth?

I was beginning to feel embarrassed when I felt the corner of his lips curl into a smile. I felt heat creeping up my face, as I smiled back. His lips found their way to my lips, fixing my silly mistake. He kissed me slowly, but his mouth was firm against mine. I felt his hands holding my face, his thumb rubbing my cheekbones. His hands were ice-cold, but as soft as snow, sending a cool jolt down my spine, making me jump a bit. But I loved it. I loved how cold the kiss was, yet it still managed to ignite the most explosive feelings inside of me. Ice burned just as badly as fire. I just couldn't get enough. I wanted him to kiss me until my whole soul was numb, while lighting up a bonfire that would burn me to ashes, entirely consuming me.

I felt my heart stop when his cool tongue swiped along my lower lip, only to bite it lightly with his teeth. I tentatively opened to let him in, feeling insecure. As Winter covered every corner of my mouth when his enveloped mine, my toes curled at the feeling tugging at the pit of my stomach. His tongue moved slowly but surely inside my mouth, exploring and caressing. But once he had nowhere else to explore, our tongues did all the talking, mingling, tangling and untangling. I enjoyed the slow pacing of the curling, the circling and the embracing of his tongue against mine. Savouring his precise and calculated movements as my heartbeat roared wildly.

I felt his tongue retreat, when he gave my own a short little suck, making my stomach clench at the feeling. He finally pulled away, much to my dismay. His hands were still holding my face, his thumbs running along my cheeks. I scanned his face, hoping to see some kind of blush, just like me. Instead, his face remained coolly composed, but something was different, I'd felt something change. He may not be one to react, but I was. So I smiled at him, irradiating glee.

He leaned closer to me and placed an open mouthed kiss on my jaw. I let out a sigh at the chilly sensation. As he sucked gently on my skin, I circled his neck with my arms and stroked his perfectly styled grey hair. His tongue massaged that area, sending cold shivers down my body. He had probably left a mark.

"Suzuno" I sighed. "You're going to get in trouble. We shouldn't be doing this..." Not even I believed my own words.

His lips released the skin on my jaw and pressed a soft kiss on my lips. I was under a spell he'd cast on me, but I'd never willingly lift it. Not even if he asked me to.

"Don't order me around. So bossy" he complained with a face of indifference. We've belonged to different worlds for so long, I just want to be part of yours for once." Icy eyes looked at me.

"I just don't want you to get in trouble because of me."

"As if" he scoffed. "I'll be back tomorrow" he promised as he planted a kiss on my forehead.

Before he had the chance to turn away, I held his chin between my fingers and dropped a small kiss on the tip of his nose. I smiled at him and he blushed. Hard. But he gave me his signature cold closed-lipped smile, and for once I felt happy he did. Cold smiles were a part of him, and I would never want it to change.

He said goodbye, dropping my real name once again, making my heart swell, and left.

I guess I was wrong. I became obsessed with accepting my new life at the bottom of the food chain that I never stopped to realize what really mattered. It wasn't reality what I'd been succumbing to, it had been my own fears of not being strong enough. I'd just given up on myself.

The Poles are on opposite sides of the Earth and will always be, but it's not because of power or status. They are the balance of our planet. They're on different ends so that their attraction to each other keeps the world together.

We were never part of different worlds, we just belonged to opposite poles that hadn't found their balance.