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If Ladybug saw another pigeon, she would not hesitate to snap its neck.
Seriously.
That's how done she was.
After the fifth fight with Mr. Pigeon, of the week, she was just tired.
And it was late. She was supposed to be having a movie night with Adrien, and she didn't know how to explain that she was late.
She worked on the other side of town. Even with the Akuma attack, she should've gotten home hours ago.
So, she was speeding. Zooming. Practically flying across Paris as she rushed to her apartment.
Slowly, she pushed up a window on the side of her living room, just wide enough that she could slip through.
Ladybug stumbled awkwardly through her window, only to look up and see Chat doing the same.
"What are you doing here?" He stared at the Ladybug-shaped blob on the floor.
"What are you doing here?" She stood up and crossed her arms. It was her home... not that he would know that. He had no reason to be here, unless he knew.
He looked behind himself, as if there was someone else she might be talking to. "Me?" Chat froze. "I'm robbing the place." He grabbed a lamp off a table.
Ladybug started laughing nervously. She was going to murder her partner later. He was supposed to be a hero. An upstanding citizen. Robbing a house was completely unacceptable. "What?"
"You heard me. What are you doing here?"
She scratched her head. "Oh, same."
"What?"
"I mean, me too. Cat-burglar." Ladybug grabbed an expensive looking vase. It had been a wedding gift from Adrien's cousin, and it was ugly as hell. That thing deserved to be dropped from the Eiffel Tower and shatter into a million pieces.
"Well, bye I guess." Chat waved. He didn't even appreciate the pun she had made.
"It was good to see you."
Neither of them made a move to leave.
"Hahah, shouldn't you be headed home?" Ladybug frowned, not wanting her apartment to be robbed.
"Shouldn't you?"
"I-" she couldn't exactly say that she was home. "Yeah. You're right."
He crossed his arms. "Are you going?"
"Yeah, sure." She ran out the window, throwing the vase on the ground. Then she face-palmed. She just let Chat Noir rob her home. She was a fool.
After a minute, she circled back around and went in through the bathroom, destransforming before walking into the living room.
Quiet as a mouse, she tip-toed through the hallway. She could hear someone in their living room, rustling through cabinets.
He was over there.
By the closet.
Holding her best blanket.
Marinette would be damned if Chat Noir stole her best blanket.
She charged forward and tackled him, pushing him to the ground. "You are not stealing my blanket."
"Lady-" Adrien shook his head. "Marinette? Why'd you tackle me?"
"Adrien!" She stood up. "I'm so sorry. For some reason, I though you were someone else. I could've sworn I heard voices."
"There was someone, but I managed to convince her to not rob us."
Chat Noir was a her. "Weird. I thought I heard Chat Noir."
Adrien laughed. "Hahaha no way. Imagine if there was a super hero in our home? That would be crazy."
"Yeah. Crazy. I'm sorry I tackled you."
"Don't be." He winked. "It was kinda hot."
"Adrien!" Marinette blushed.
His cheeks got red. "Sorry. That was awkward. Do you wanna watch a movie? I've got blankets."
"Yeah, for sure. I'll make popcorn." She kissed him. "Love you babe."
"Love you."
They didn't talk about the intruders anymore.
....
The next night at Patrol, Chat approached Ladybug.
"Look, about last night-"
"Let's just not talk about it."
"Agreed."
"Good."
There was an awkward silence.
Chat spoke up. "I wasn't actually there to rob the place, I gave the lamp back and everything."
"Then why were you there?"
"Why were you there? You stole a vase and ran off with it."
Marinette remembered the shattered pieces of vase scattered on the sidewalk. "I have no regrets."
"Why were you there?"
"We agreed not to talk about it."
"For me. I was there for a personal reason, that could disclose my identity. You were robbing a random house."
"You don't know that-"
"Ladybug, it's okay. My wife is the same way."
"You're married?"
"Yeah. She's amazing. Marinette-"
"You're married to Marinette?" Slowly, she took in his green eyes and blonde hair.
"Its a common name. Keep up."
He was about the same height too. "Yeah..."
"She steals things from people she loves. Usually phones. She may be a bit of a kleptomaniac, but I love her. Its how she shows affection."
"No way-"
"Its nothing to be ashamed of, really. I didn't even like that vase."
"But-"
He shook his head. "I just don't understand how you knew where I live."
"Because," she blurted out, "apparently we're roommates."
"Oh my God they were roommates." Chat laughed. "Wait what?"
"Adrien?"
"Ladybug." He blinked slowly. "Marinette?"
"Yeah."
"Whoa."
"I can't believe you pretended to rob yourself to protect your identity."
"You did the same thing."
"I panicked." She shrugged. "What else could I have said."
"I don't know. But not Cat-burglar, that was iconic."
"You're never gonna let me live this down."
"The great Ladybug, trying to rob me."
"Shut up."
"You love me."
"Yeah, I do."