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A nurse knocks on the open door. “Stanley? You have a visitor.”
He lifts his head from the pillow of the hospital bed, still groggy, but improving. Before he has a chance to say ‘send them in’ or ‘send them away’, Kyle steps into the doorframe with his jacket open, dark green shirt stretched taut over the little protrusion of his stomach.
“Hey dude,” he says flatly.
“Kyle—” Stan croaks, then clears his throat. “Before you say anything—I wasn’t trying to kill myself.”
Kyle lets out one surprised laugh. “Dude, I know.”
“You do?” Stan lets out a sigh of relief and flops back against his pillow. “Oh thank god. I didn’t even mean to drink that much, I was just—I don’t know—stressed out and—”
“I know,” Kyle says again, still standing in the doorway. “Your parents found the note and stuff under your bed looking for other bottles.”
Stan’s eyes snap open and he forces himself up again. When he looks at Kyle now he’s got that ‘I can read your thoughts’ face on. And holding up the blue velvet box. Stan’s neck prickles with sweat. “Oh fuck. They did?”
Kyle quirks a brow and smirks before pulling out a folded piece of notebook paper and begins reading aloud. “Dear Kyle. You don’t have to hide it anymore. I know you’re pregnant, I know the baby is mine—”
“Stop—stop—” Says Stan, which makes him pause and look up. Stan looks totally flustered. He certainly wasn’t expecting all this. “...I’m supposed to read that to you.”
Kyle sighs, but he’s still got a small grin. He finally steps into the room, over to the bed, and sits, laying the box there beside him and the note with it. “Sorry, I already read the whole thing.”
Stan takes it, skimming his half-legible scrawl to remind himself what he wrote. Make sure he didn’t say anything totally stupid. “...Christ.”
Kyle watches him a minute. “...When were you planning on saying all this?”
Stan lets the note fall on his chest and rubs his face with his palms, which tugs the IV embedded in his hand. This isn’t how he imagined it would go. “Uh, last night. If I worked up the nerve. Haha…”
Kyle chuckles back at him. He knows he should be pissed, but right now he can sympathize, given the circumstances.
“Um,” Stan says after a minute, looking back at him. His stomach. “I’m right. Right? I mean, it’s mine?”
Kyle rolls his eyes. “Yeah, dude. Who else?”
“I don’t know,” he admits, feeling dumb. “Kenny?”
Kyle spits out a laugh, leaning back with his hands on the bed, which just makes it stand out more. Fuck, Stan thinks, he’s really pregnant. “No way dude, we’re not like that.”
Stan blinks, shocked. “Not even once? Not even now?”
“Uh, no, man,” he scratches the back of his head. “He’s just really supportive. Because of the—” he gestures to himself. “This. It’s an older brother thing.”
So Kenny had known this whole time. “Guess so. ...But—When were you going to tell me?”
Kyle goes red and slumps forward to lace his hands over his knees, looking pensive. Apologetic. “I was gonna, soon, I just… felt scared.”
Stan reaches over and puts a hand on his back, rubbing gently. “Hey, I get that.”
Kyle shoots him an appreciative grin through the corner of his eye. “I didn’t even find out myself until like, two months ago.”
“Jesus, Kyle, two months?!” He blurts out, which makes Kyle chuckle nervously. Stan swiftly lowers his voice. “...How far along are you?”
Kyle chews his lip. “Doctor estimates around twenty weeks. So, five-ish months?”
Stan looks stunned and runs a hand through his bangs as he does the math. “Christ, so that’s like, halfway there already.”
“Yeah, dude… It’s really happening.”
Kyle stares at his hands a moment, and Stan stares at him. “Well, yeah, but…” He tries to think of what to say. ‘I’m not mad about it’? ‘I’m glad it’s mine’? ‘I want to have this kid with you’? Everything he comes up with sounds so cheesy and suspect. Like he sneakily intended to get him knocked up or something. “...Can I feel it?”
Kyle lifts his head with surprise, but then he’s shifting around to give him a better angle and pulling back the flaps of his jacket. “Yeah, dude, of course.”
Stan places his hand over his stomach, feeling the curve of it through the shirt, and gulps. He adds his other hand, caressing him. It’s still a little soft and yieldy, but beneath that is undeniably something.
Kyle watches his hands and says “Hey, if you’re gonna need a minute, do you mind if I lay down? My back is hurting.”
For some reasons that’s the line that gets him. Makes this all feel really real. Kyle’s carrying his baby and it’s already impacting the real world. “Yeah, dude, let me make room.”
They shift about until Kyle’s laying next to him, and Stan’s hand is back to petting his stomach.
“You can lift up my shirt, you know,” says Kyle.
Stan does, slowly, and stares at the pale skin of his protruding belly. He cups it with his hands and strokes his thumb over the extra stomach pooch under his naval. “...Fuck, dude.”
“I know, it’s kind of freaky.”
“No, dude, it’s cool…” Stan pushes back his blankets to get down and leans over to rest his head on Kyle’s stomach, careful not to put any pressure on it. Just holding his ear there while he shuts his eyes and listens.
“What the fuck? What are you doing?” Kyle asks with a laugh.
Stan goes on petting the top of his stomach. “I just love you, dude.”
Kyle snorts. “Yeah, I could kind of tell from your note.”
“Guess you know my feelings on the matter then,” Stan mutters. He cracks his eyes and looks back at him with concern. “...But—What about you? I mean, you’re the one carrying the kid and all…”
Kyle puts a hand over Stan’s and gives a half shrug. “I kind of made my peace with it already. Had plenty of time to get all the freaking out out of the way and—I don’t know. Bond with it.” He sticks out his tongue and makes a face. “God that sounds gross.”
“It’s not gross!” Stan protests, moving his hands protectively around him. “It’s kind of beautiful.”
Kyle cocks a brow with a disturbed grin. “You’re talking about a little fish alien.”
Stan makes a sheepish grin back. “Our fish alien.”
Kyle blows a huff of air and looks away, but he’s still smiling. “Well anyway… I was still a little on the fence about the whole thing. I wanted to wait to see how you’d take it but—being honest—I was really starting to lean toward keeping it regardless. You have no idea how big a relief it is knowing you’re on board with this.”
Stan caresses his stomach. “Of course, dude. You’re like—the only person I’d want to do this with. Have a baby and stuff.”
“Uh, don’t act too excited. I’d still rather this was happening later. When we weren’t in school.”
Stan lifts his head. “Hey—you just said later! Not never!”
Kyle’s turn to grin sheepishly. “What? You think you’re the only one who would want to have a family at some point?”
“No, I just—” He lowers his head back down. “Didn’t know if you felt that way. That seriously about us.”
Kyle swallows. “I was kind of hoping it’d get serious.”
“Wish granted?” Stan asks.
Kyle glances at the velvet box through the corner of his eye, already knowing what’s inside. “Uh, maybe a little more than I hoped.”
Stan pinches his lip and take’s Kyle’s hand, squeezing it. “We don’t have to. I’m fine with whatever. So long as we’re together.”
“No, no, I want to,” Kyle assures, pink in the face. He laughs to mitigate the nerves. “But maybe just—after we date for a while? Like a real couple?”
“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend right now?” Stan says, moving to lay next to him again. “Kind of backwards after I’ve asked you to marry me?”
Kyle shuts his eyes with a grin, rolling over on his side to face him. “You haven’t actually asked me anything yet.”
“Just tell me when you’re ready. And I’ll ask.” And Stan scoots closer, so he can lay his hand on Kyle’s waist and hold their foreheads together, Kyle’s stomach gently pressing against him through the hospital gown.
“...Can I just say one thing?” Kyle asks after a minute of peaceful silence. The two of them just laying there embracing. “I’m kind of glad it was me, in a way. If I got you pregnant I think I’d have a stroke.”
Stan snorts a laugh, wrapping his arms around him to constrict him tighter. “It’s a good thing you’re smart and always put on a condom. Could you imagine if we were both pregnant?”
“Eugh!” Kyle grimaces, but giggles. “I can’t be that smart if I always let you fuck me raw.”
“You say that like we knew this was possible.”
“Would you still have hooked up with me if you knew the consequences?”
Stan frowns at the terminology. This doesn’t feel like a punishment—just a surprise. “Would have been more careful, if you wanted me to be.”
“Fuck, dude!” Kyle laughs. “You totally like that I’m pregnant!”
Stan’s face feels hot from the accusation. “...Maybe I do.” His hand is back there again, rubbing. “Kind of like a little bit of me is in you all the time. I helped put this sea-monkey thing in you and now you get to carry it around and have it grow and stuff.”
“Ew ew ew!”
“No, no,” Stan’s quick to interject, fingers brushing over his naval. “I just mean—sorry, that probably sounds pretty gross.”
Kyle lets go a sigh. “Don’t talk about how it’s gonna grow. I already feel huge.”
“You are huge,” Stan admits before he can think not to. Kyle whines. “But—being honest, dude? It kind of makes you look… really cute.”
“I can’t believe you just said that to me.” But Kyle seems to relax, small smile on his face, and he cups Stan’s jaw to kiss him. For a minute they just lie there together, Stan’s hand still on his belly while they kiss. “...You know, Kenny says the same fucking thing?” Is the first thing Kyle says when they part.
Stan grins incredulously. “I’ll kick his ass.”
Kyle laughs. “He’s right out in the waiting room if you’re ready to throw down for me this instant.”
Stan kisses him again. “I kind of just want to lay here with you a while longer.”
Kyle shuts his eyes again, cuddling into him. “You have no idea how glad I am that you’re you.”
Stan chuckles. “Me too.”
They lay there quietly a minute until Kyle mutters “...God, I’m gonna be where you are soon. In a hospital gown and shit. Four months feels so soon.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll be there.”
“Gonna let me crush your hand?”
Stan grins. “Duh. And—If it sucks that bad I’ll carry the next one.”
Kyle snorts but kisses him again anyway. “Don’t sound eager, weirdo.”
“You love me. Even if I knocked you up.”
“I do.”
Beside them the note lies open on the bed, forgotten, reading Stan’s chicken scratch:
Dear Kyle,
You don’t have to hide it anymore. I know you’re pregnant, I know the baby is mine. I’m not sure how this happened or what this really means, but I want you to know I’m not angry. I’ve been thinking about this a lot and just about you in general, and how scary this probably is. It’s scary for me too. But I still love you more than anything else in the world, and it’s made me realize how much I want to be with you, with or without a baby. I’ll still love you regardless of what you decide to do, but if I get any say in the matter I’d really like to keep it.
Whatever you need from me, I’ll do it. I’m ready to be there for you if you want me to be. I know somehow you’ll get through this. I want to go through it with you.
Would you have me?
Stan
