Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Peanuts woke up in his squirrel house in Hatchetfield after a good rest with a long day of vibin ahead of him. He looked to the picture of him and his pals hanging on the wall. Wiggly, Duck, him, and Craphole's chicken. he sighed and got ready for the day. he could hear Papa Ed was already up and about. Peanuts jumped out of his squirrel house onto Ed's shoulder.
"Hey peanuts, good morning buddy. Ready to head out?" Ed knew he didn't need an answer.
Ed and peanuts got into the car. They were visiting Gary Goldstiens office. Something about somebody wanted the rights to peanuts' story to make a movie. (please bear with me during this i know NOTHING about legal stuff.) Ed started driving and peanuts hoped into his pocket.

Peanuts entered his real home, the Anywhere. He was supposed to meet Wiggly here and right now was the only time that worked for him. He was chilling in the void when Wiggly appeared. "Hewwo! Hows my bestest buddy wud?" Peanuts excitedly shouted back at him: "Wiggly! Bro! Its been a while, hows the black and white?" "Well..." Wiggly started, " I've been twying to teach the sniggles this new choweography and, you know how sniggles awe." Just as Wiggly finished his statement, Duck appeared in the void. "Duck!" Peanuts shouted. "Hewwo Ducky...!!!" Wiggly said as well. Duck simply quacked. Peanuts and Wiggly continued their conversation. "Have you talked to Webby recently?" Asked peanuts. "Of couwse not... that stupid bitch... why would i have tawkted to hewr wencently?" Peanuts sighed, "Look, i know you hate Webby, but... I think we should invite her to our next meeting???" "WHAT??" Wiggly flickered with anger "Why wouwd youw think i wouwd evewr hang ouwt with Webby?!" "Sorry, i shouldnt have said anything-" out of nowhere Duck started flapping around and quaking. "Duck? Whats wrong dude?... Aw shoot, man i should probably go... Can you deal with Duck, Wiggly?" asked Peanuts. "Sure my bestest fwiendy wend!!" Wiggly replied, easily snapped out of his rage. "Thanks dude. See ya later!" Peanuts said opening a window to his pocket back in hatchet field and jumping through.

Peanuts crawled out of his pocket back onto Ed's shoulder. "Hey buddy! Were almost there." Ed said to the squirrel.

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Ed parked in the first open spot outside the the large office building. "You ready Peanuts?" he said to his friend on his shoulder. he pushed through the double doors and the two of them went to go find Gary Goldsteins office.
"Hello? Mr. Goldstein?" Ed asked, knocking on the door. "Ah, yes, Ed! Come in. and, call me Gary." the lawyer said. Ed and Gary sat down and started talking legal, but Peanuts wasn't paying attention to anything they were saying. He was too entranced with Gary Goldstein. "😳" said peanuts somehow. He then scurried down Eds arm and back into his pocket.

"BROBROBROOO" said Peanuts appearing in the Anywhere. "whawt's happening buddy?" Wiggly asked. Again, Duck only quacked. "THERES THIS LAWYERR GUY OR SOMETHING IDK I ONLY KNOW IM IN LOVE WITH HIM" Peanuts literally yeeted the words out of his esophagus. "...wet me guess, you juwst met him." Wiggly said starring his best friend in the eyes. "...yes BUT LIKE STILL YOU SHoULD SEE HIM" At this point Peanuts was on the verge of full on sobbing. "Awwight buddy... have fun with twying to get with him." Wiggly said, tired of arguing. "You're a great friend Wiggly... Don't tell Craphole's Chicken please..." "fine. good wuck..." Wiggly said as Peanuts disappeared.

Peanuts hopped back out of Ed's Pocket. "Alright Gary, Thank you. See you Thursday." he heard Ed say. They must be finishing up. He had to make a move now, but what could a squirrel do? Ed stood up to shake Gary's hand. Peanuts panicked. As they were shaking hands Peanuts ran down Ed's arm onto Gary, up his arm, and jumped on top of his head. What else could he have done? "Peanuts!! I'm so sorry Gary, he doesn't normally act like this." Ed scolded Peanuts. "Oh, that's okay Ed. I'm quite fond of squirrels anyway." Gary smiled down at the little rodent. " C'mon Peanuts, lets get home."

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"What a moving story, Don. Next up, the fight for the rights to local celebrity Peanuts the Squirrel's life story." The channel cut to commercial. "huh. Peanuts!" Paul said looking up from his phone. "I didn't realize you were such a big Peanuts fan." Emma shot him a look from across the table." "Uh, yeah, Em." Paul said back, "He's a local celebrity, an iconic staple of Hatchetfield!" "Fuck Hatchetfield..." Emma responded getting up to put her dishes in the sink, "I'm not a big rodent fan." Paul gasped, "Peanuts is not a rodent! i mean.. well i guess technically he is, but that just sounds too mean! He's just a tiny little squirrel. That lives in a pocket! That's adorable!" Emma laughed, "You're adorable. Hey, we should probably get going." she said checking her watch. Paul groaned. "Look, i know you don't like being around my family and all-" Emma started. "No! It's not that I don't like you're family, i... i just suck with kids. I used to baby sit Bill's daughter, and even then i sucked, but not nearly as bad." Paul interrupted. "I can tell you're trying. That's good enough." Emma said, trying to reassure him. "Yeah but that's what sucks. You're great with kids and you don't even try..." Paul sighed. Emma, checking her watch again, said "Look, it doesn't matter if you're good with kids or not, Tom will appreciate us even showing up. Alright, we kinda need to get going. Don't wanna miss Tim's tenth birthday."

"Hey Peanuts, I know you like an audience, so i signed us up to go do a meet and greet/show at Pizza Pete's today! Nothing big. just do some tricks and let kids pet you. You can handle that, right buddy?" Ed said to his pocket sized friend. He grabbed his car keys and got ready to drive out to Pizza Pete's.

"Aye Lex!! Check this out babe!!!!" A boy in leather shouted to a girl across the room while making every shot in the basketball arcade game that was clearly meant for kids half his height. "Nice babe!!! look at all these tickets Hannah!" The girl said running over with her little sister. On the other side of the arcade, a man, his daughter, and her girlfriend were talking to one of the employees about go karting. Sitting at one of the tables in the corner, was Tim with his dad Tom and his dads girlfriend Becky. "Hey Tim! Happy Birthday!" Emma said ruining to the table. "Hey Aunt Emma!" Tim said looking up. "Have you guys ordered any food yet?" She asked Tom. "Nope. We were waiting for you." Tom said, "Do you two want anything?" He asked.

"Hey Tim, You wanna go play some games while they order?" Becky asked. She was pretty good with kids, being a nurse and all. "uh, sure." Tim responded. "Great! What do you wanna play? What about... Zombie house? I know you used to love that game!" Becky asked the boy. Again he only responded with "sure."

"Thanks, Tom. We'll go sit at the table and wait." Emma said after they had ordered their food. While they had ordered they didn't notice a small crowd had formed in the corner opposite of their table. "What going on over there?" Emma said pointing to the crowd out to Paul. "I'll go check it out..." Paul said standing up. As he walked closer he could read a small sign in front of where the crowd was gathered. "...Peanuts??!" Paul said to himself, approaching the crowd. on the small elevated platform was peanuts' caretaker, papa ed, with peanuts on his shoulder. Families were asking questions and taking turns holding the little guy. Paul overheard a little girl say something to her dad about wanting her own squirrel. It wasn't until peanuts' caretaker was passing the squirrel around when he noticed Bill from work was there with his daughter Alice and her girlfriend. They weren't necessarily friends, but Paul thought he should at least say hi. "Oh, hey Bill!" he said causally, making his way through the crowd. "Paul? What are you doing here?" Bill replied. "Oh, you know, its Emma's nephew's Birthday, or something. He's turning nine.... or was it ten? I'm not quite sure, but we thought it would be nice to come." Paul said to Bill. Their conversation was interrupted by Bills Daughter Alice nudging her dad on the shoulder and saying "Dad!! look at this little guy! Do you wanna hold him?" The squirrel was just calmly sitting in her hands "Um... No thanks Alice. Do you, Paul?" Bill turned to him to say. "Oh! Um, sure, why not?" Paul said as Alice reached out to give him the squirrel. "Hey Peanuts." Paul said looking down at the rodent. He stroked his head a few times and then asked the girl to his left is she wanted to hold him. The little girl with braids backed away slightly. "uh uh... bad squirrel... not from here... not-" "It's okay Banana, you don't have to if you don't want to." The punk boy said putting his arm around the girl. She nodded, but didn't take her eyes off the squirrel. Paul handed Peanuts back to his caretaker and decided he should probably go back to their table, their food was probably already there.

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Paul was walking back to the table just as soon as Becky and Tim were coming back from playing a few games, perfect timing. "What was going on over there?" Emma asked as Paul sat down. "Peanuts! The squirrel!" Paul said excitedly, even though he knew Emma wasn't really the biggest Peanuts fan. "Peanuts?" she said, "what a coincidence..." from across the table, Becky growled "...Peanuts." Paul turned to her "You don't like Peanuts?" He was shocked, how could anyone hate Peanuts? "I've had run-ins with him before, some people says small animals can be therapeutic but... not him. he's a menace and unclean and a wild animal that doesn't belong around kids, specifically sick kids." Paul refused to believe any of this, Peanuts was practicality an angel taken the form of a squirrel. "Alright, whatever you say I guess. What about you Tim?" (Paul was proud of himself for remembering his name this time) "Do you like squirrels?" Paul hoped that he did. He just really wanted Emma's family to like him. "Uh, yeah sure, i like most animals i guess." Paul was thrilled. He was doing something right. "That's great! Did you.. uh- you know Peanuts the squirrel, right?" "yeah?" Tim responded. "Awesome! Well... actually he's um over there, in that corner over there-" Paul was interrupted by Tim excitedly shouting; "Really?!!" Paul was really, really proud of himself now. "Yeah! I can.. go with you if you want?" Tim, of course wanted to see Peanuts, even if it meant spending time with his aunts awkward boyfriend.

The crowd had died down a bit since Paul was last over there. He didn't see bill anymore and there were definitely less people. Tim was almost immediately mesmerized by the tiny squirrel crawling up and down the mans arm. Paul looked to him and felt satisfied. Maybe he was getting back into the swing of being around kids.

Hannah foster did not like that squirrel. Something wasn't right. He didn't belong there, he was out of place. "I'm sorry about the squirrel Banana. But, hey we can go back to playing games, right Lex?" Ethan, her sister's boyfriend/best older brother/dad she could ask for, said trying to reassure her. "That's right, were gonna get so many tickets Hannah, you'll be able to get whatever prize you want!" Hannah smiled at her sister. "Sucks about that squirrel tho. I thought you liked tiny animals Hannah." Hannah did love animals, but something wasn't right with that squirrel. "...Webby says... that's not a squirrel. she told me not to trust it. she said it doesn't belong here." Lex sighed. "Alright, if Webby says so..." "Hey i know," Ethan chimed in, "Lets go play the race car game, i know that's one of your favorites." He grabbed Hannah's hand as they walked across the arcade. Seeing both of them like that made Lex wanna cry.

Paul and Tim came back to the table extremely chatty. It surprised Emma. Normally they avoided each other, but she was glad they found something they both loved. "So... How was Peanuts?" she asked. "Awesome! I got to hold him!!!" Tim said, bouncing in his seat. As soon as Becky heard this she pulled out one of those portable hand sanitizer thingys. "At least use some hand sanitizer you two. Especially if you touched that thing." They both complied before digging into their food.

"So Hannah, good day or bad day?" Lex asked as they were walking to her (mom's) broke ass shit car. Hannah stared at the huge teddy bear she won for a few seconds before looking up at her sister and saying "...good day." Ethan put his arm around her and pulled her close. "I'm glad, Banana."